At first, Cherub of Shame tried to stop our sinful deeds…
But by the end of Dildo Holiday, it was pretty used to our shenanigans.
Cherub of Shame is watching you!
What was Dildo Holiday, you might ask? It was an epic joining of 7 sex bloggers (Epiphora, Aerie, Bex, Kate, Reenie, Girly Juice, & I) in a fabulous place on the coast of Oregon called Dildo Manor. We came together to share knowledge, dildos, and laughs, and we left with countless memories (and more dildos.) Since it would be nearly impossible for me to recount all of the fabulous moments, here are 10 of my favorite things from the trip.
1. Devil’s Point
I’ve been to the strip club plenty of times, but never with a group of babes. We got there early and sat up front and watched beautiful tattooed dancers do amazing things with their bodies, and I got a private dance from a dancer named Pixie who looked like a combination of Jennifer Lawrence and Stoya. It was our first night all together, and we bonded over drinks and vulvae. Oh, and some dudes called us “rich girls” because how dare we sit up front and capture the attention of the dancers by tipping an appropriate amount. Move along, bro.
2. Cherub of Shame
If you were following the #dildoholiday hashtag, you probably noticed a creepy baby/angel/mermaid statue sucking its thumb. Long story short, we noticed it was watching us when we first arrived at Dildo Manor, and then it kept appearing in random places throughout the house, as if it were alive. Piph first noticed it disapproved of our shenanigans when it tried to block her from going upstairs to grab her Hitachi during porn night, and it went downhill from there. The cherub appeared in the fridge, on the toilet, tucked in Kate’s bed, staring at us eerily from the bathroom, always watching, judging. I bet it misses us heathens though.
3. Porn Night
— Penny (@pennysblog) June 5, 2015
How can you go wrong watching an amazing selection of indie porn curated by Kate, surrounded by babely sex bloggers? We watched hot porn that didn’t show any genitals, porn with great communication, and porn with people getting fucked by doll’s legs. We all moaned in unison when Wolf Hudson and Danny Wylde kissed in My Own Master, we cheered on Jiz Lee’s rimming skills during Justify My Jiz, and we were amazed/inspired by the fact that Annie Sprinkle was squirting before any of us were even born. Oh, and we cuddled/live tweeted/had casual orgasms throughout, no big deal.
4. The Epic Sex
The first night in Dildo Manor, Epiphora let me borrow her Hitachi rechargeable during porn night. Then we kissed and went to my room, and I fingered her until the sun came up and my fingers were pruny, and she was so soft and smelled amazing and made the sexiest sounds, and it was unforgettable. Throughout Dildo Holiday, I was both a bit of an exhibitionist and a voyeur, I squirted alongside Bex (sharing porn like a textbook, like you do), I got spanked, and I was part of an epic group masturbation session during which I tried/fell in love with Aerie’s G Spoon and Kate’s glass dildo, Lil Bloomer.
5. Blowing our own glass dildos
Epiphora, Aerie, & Bex told us there would be a super secret surprise. They warned us that it might get hot and to wear closed toed shoes. Are we going hiking? On a boat? How is this dildo related? We were hella confused. But it all made sense when we pulled up into a parking lot, and I spotted a sign that read “Blow Your Own Glass.”
We each decided on colors and general shapes, and the artists did their best to create what we had in mind. Each of our dildos is unique to our preferences, but there was a common theme–more curve! I love the color and shape of mine…but it’s a little bigger (ok a lot bit bigger) than I intended, and I have yet to actually get it to fit in my vagina (but Kate did! So there’s hope.) We had a guessing game going on social media as to whose was whose…and
Dildo Psychic Panda Sauce actually got them all right! Also, my partner/a dude friend of mine both guessed mine correctly–I was super impressed!
6. Teaching the photography workshop
I don’t think I’d ever actually been excited about a PowerPoint until I made one for the how to take beautiful dildo photos workshop that Kate & I hosted. I’d also never really taught others about photography…and I realized I really enjoy it–I was so proud when Reenie captured a gorgeously composed shot, and when I showed Piph the magic of Lightroom. After the workshop, everyone suggested I offer a Photography for Sex Bloggers course, so stay tuned for details on that!
7. The Dildos
Obviously it wouldn’t have been Dildo Holiday without the dildos. Dildos, everywhere. Dildos crowding tables during meetings. Dildos stuffed in toy bags. Dildos born of fire. Dildo tattoos. Dildo photos. Dildos with cheese. Dildos soaking in bleach solution, waiting to be used again. Dildos in sinks. In closets. In our epic goodie bags. In porn. In vaginas.
8. Telephone Pictionary- Sex Blogger Edition When sex bloggers get together and play telephone pictionary (aka Eat Poop You Cat), ridiculous things happen. Somehow “double penetration” becomes “very confused genital person whose parts have been replaced with a coat hanger” and “sharing porn like sharing a textbook” turns into “pregnant people looking at a farmer’s butt while the farmer looks at a painting of a cat wearing a butt plug.” We laughed until we cried (and snorted.)
9. Pizza+Sybian+50 Shades of Grey
What did we do on the last day that everyone was together in Portland? We ordered a ridiculous amount of pizza, curled up together in Piph’s basement,
watched mocked 50 Shades of Grey, and rode the infamous Sybian, of course–Girly Juice even managed to do all 3 simultaneously. As if it could get any better, Piph’s adorable cat Chowder did a round of lap-sitting while we watched.
A huge thanks to SheVibe, our generous food sponsor!
10. The People
I don’t think I’ve ever clicked with a group of people as quickly and effortlessly as I did with the Dildo Holiday peeps. Even though I’d only met half of them IRL, it seemed like we’d all been friends for years. When I was with my peeps, it was completely normal to live tweet masturbation sessions, hang out without pants, compare the curliness of our pubes, toast to DPs, and to share lube and sex toys (after discussing STI status/cleaning preferences, of course.) Girly Juice goes into it more in her post, but the sex positive and body positive vibes were nothing short of amazing.
Want to hear even more about Dildo Holiday? Epiphora’s Storify pretty much covers it all.
#Dildoholiday was even more epic than I predicted, y’all. I’m still editing photos and working on a post about it, but in the meantime, here’s a butt. My butt. Getting spanked by Epiphora. Thanks so much to Kate for capturing this!
I shot this image of my sexy partner Jake during our recent trip to Sin City.
The L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a swanky vibrator, with its jewel motif, soft silicone, and sleek design and packaging. If Gatsby hosted orgies, Rosas would be as abundant as champagne and lacy panties. The Rosa Rouge arouses me before I even turn on its vibration, and I’m not just talking about its drool worthy aesthetic.
What is this sorcery?
The Rosa Rogue isn’t just a vibrator… it’s a heating vibrator. It kind of feels like I’m masturbating with hot lava, but in the best way. It’s like a little spa treatment for my clit. A clit sauna. A little private sunny island vacay for my vulva…with orgasms instead of Mai Tais.
Since there are so many vibrators on the market these days, companies are constantly trying to come up with novel features to keep people interested. There are vibes that are suppossed to act like fingers, vibes meant to mimic oral, vibes that look like aliens…and I’m all for variety, but often these toys are just gimmicky and would be better off with a more basic design.
But Rosa Rogue’s heating is definitely not a gimmick. Oh man, I love it. If I put it on my clit for the few minutes it takes to heat up to 104-107 degrees1, I get super aroused, and by the time it’s warmed up, my clit is ready to party, and its rumbly vibration is heavenly. It’s not quite as strong and rumbly as Tango, but it can still hang, even with die hard Tango fans.
Other things I love about Rosa: it’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, lockable for travel, and it comes with an 18 month warranty. The charger base also rocks–it’s super easy to use, and it’s obvious when it’s done charging.
So far I’ve mentioned that my clit loves Rosa’s heating and vibration. Specifically, the shaft’s vibration. But Rosa is also designed to be a dual stimulator–the shaft is curved for g-spot vibration and the base is meant for simultaneous clitoral stimulation…but Rosa doesn’t work for me that way.
Rosa’s shaft provides deep, rumbly vibrations (hell yes!), while the base’s vibrations are less powerful and buzzier (sad face.) So when I insert Rosa’s shaft and use it as intended, my clit is underwhelmed by the base’s weaker vibration. My g-spot gets all of the strong rumblies, but my g-spot doesn’t need vibration, it needs pressure and/or thrusting, which Rosa’s flexible shaft can’t provide adequately… so neither my clit nor my g-spot are satisfied.
Other than the base not working out well for me and the flexible shaft, the main complaint I have with Rosa is the controls. Since they’re tiny and embedded in the silicone, they’re really difficult to see and control, and Rosa definitely needs an easy off button.2
So, the ultimate question here is, should you drop $240 on the Rosa Rouge? Is it worth it?
My g-spot says no. My wallet says hells no. But my clit says yassss!
For Rosa to be absolutely perfect and totally worth the hefty price tag for me, it would need to have a firmer shaft, easier to find buttons, and it would probably need to bring me coffee and/or pizza and cuddle with me while watching Buffy. But if you like powerful, rumbly vibrations, think you’ll enjoy the heating feature, and have an extra $240 lying around to invest in quality orgasms, Rosa is still a solid choice as is.
If you’re not interested in heating, there’s also the plain Rosa (available in emerald, cerise, and black) for $180. If both Rosa Rouge and plain Rosa are way out of your price range and you still want a strong petite vibe without warming, consider the Touch or Tango instead. If you’re looking for a dual stimulator, Rosa could work for you that way if you’re cool with rumbly, strong internal vibration, less powerful clitoral/external vibration and a flexible shaft.
Thanks for sending me the Rosa Rouge in exchange for an honest review, L’amourose!
Ely took this of me the same night we shot this photo. Pizza, boobs, and wine…it was a perfect night!
Shilo out at the beach in Cali!
Of the kinky variety, of course. Ely & I in her fabulous pink room.