7 sex toys I want to try in 2017

2016 was kind of a shit show, and I didn’t try as many new toys as I’d like, but here’s to hoping this year is better–let’s start with a list of the top 7 toys I’m dying to try in 2017!

1. B.J. Dildo–Some of you may know of or remember Mr. Man, a dildo with a hole through the shaft that creates clit suction during a dildo blow job. It’s been discontinued for years now, but I was lucky enough to try Epiphora‘s last year, and it was marvelous. I loved it so much that I had my partner try to recreate it by drilling a hole into one of my less used dildos, but sadly it didn’t pan out. But alas, there’s a new B.J. Dildo now! And it comes in a lovely green! Someone just buy me one and attach it to my clit now, please and thanks.

 

2. Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable–The fact that I don’t have one of these yet is a travesty. I am one of the BIGGEST Hitachi fans out there, and I think the only reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m kinda old school, and the ancient plug-in Hitachi is still my bae. But I would like to get with the times and be able to share the Hitachi’s glory with others (the rechargeable has a silicone head), or bring it camping (I don’t really camp but if I ever do Hitachi will definitely need to come), and just use the new one’s lower settings (or would I even? who knows.) Plus my Hitachi is getting kind of lonely and could use some company.

 

3. Hole Punch Rad-ish— I’ve been wanting to try something from Hole Punch for a while now, and I want it to be the rad-ish because I’m vegan af and want to collect all of the veggie sex toys (and because Piph said the Plugs Bunny is too long, and yea, it looks too long.) Is it ridiculous if I say my butt is hungry for the rad-ish?

 

4. Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble–I honestly don’t know if I could even handle this dildo but damn I want to try, especially after how much Kate and other friends have raved about it. And I need more glass in my collection! And more big toys so I can work my way up and hopefully be able to fit the huge dildo I made last year in my vagina someday.

 

5. L’Amourose Prism V— I was sent the similar Prism VII last year, and it’s rumbly and gorgeous, but I want the version without the clitoral arm and also want to compare the two. Plus I just want more L’Amourose toys because they’re amazing.

 

6. Leyland Rainbow Glitter Riding Crop–Ever since I saw Artemisia’s review (and photos, damn just go look now for eyegasms), I’ve wanted this crop. It’s synthetic/vegan friendly and it’s so damn pretty. And I used to have a crop years ago that I loved which got ruined and want to replace it. Plus rainbow sparkles!

 

7. Split Peaches Unicorn Horn— It’s a rainbow unicorn horn dildo. Need I say more?

Also, I didn’t include some toys I’m still lusting over from my 2015 list because I didn’t want to be repetitive but I SO SO SO still want the SeductionEleven, G-Spoon, & Shilo.

Which toys are you dying to try in 2017? Let me know in the comments!

 

Don’t say her name

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“Don’t say her name.”

I’m tied tight, spread eagle on hard marble. The thick metal binding my wrists and ankles is cold, contrasting with my flushed skin. Sweat drips down my neck like blood. He notices. He does that thing with his lips.

I try to keep my cool. I’m in control, right? If anyone walked in on us, they would certainly think otherwise.

“You miss her, don’t you?” I ask.

He growls, and one black nail-polished finger traces my cheek.

“No, I don’t,” he whispers, in the accent that makes my cunt clench and my blood race.

It’s like he’s ignoring the rest of my (naked) body. He knows my cheek it about the last place I want him to touch right now. He grins, and I feel like he can read my thoughts.

“Yes you do,” I tease. “I bet you’ll think of her tight, sweet pussy when you fuck me.”

His teeth are sharp, but so are my words.

“Shut up!” he says, gripping my chin firmly.

He tilts my head up. I’m sure he can smell how wet I am by now. He looks down my length, examining my round, luscious breasts, my hardened nipples, my smooth legs, my little bush, my lips.

“You’ll regret taunting me later, pet,” he breathes, rolling his eyes slightly.

His skin is almost glowing in the moonlight. If I wasn’t tied, I’d grip his peroxide blonde hair and jump on top of him. But that’s not the game tonight. Speaking of games, it’s about time I get things moving already. I can’t wait any longer.

“Oh, someone’s touchy,” I say, locking my blue eyes with his, “I guess vampires don’t take rejection well. Especially rejection from the Slayer.”

He doesn’t move, but I can feel him stiffen. I know exactly what to say to make him hurt. To make him want to hurt me.

“So it’s gonna be like that, love?”

He steps away cooly, rumbling in his nearby chest. His strained expression changes to a cruel smile as he holds up the black metal clamps, and before I can even tense up, my nipples are on fire. For a moment I wonder if this was a bad idea, but it’s too late to go back now.

“What would she think about you fucking another cute little blonde girl?”

Before I can say more, he’s on top of me, hovering about an inch above, one hand supporting his weight, the other pulling my panties up towards him. Hard. He moves so fast. The black cotton digs into my labia. He pulls it up tighter, and it hurts like hell. I don’t flinch.

“Aww, you miss her so much, don’t you?” I ask in taunting almost baby talk. “The Slay—.”

“Don’t say her bloody name,” he grunts, ripping my panties off easily.

“Fuck!”

Who knew cotton could hurt so much?

“Don’t. Say. Her. Name,” he says again as he pulls the chain connecting my breasts, the clamps snapping off, leaving my nipples throbbing.

“Slayer!” I hiss. I bite at his ear, but I can’t reach. His free hand fumbles with his zipper, his other tightly around my neck. He’s no longer hovering. I’m caught beneath his weight, his icy skin pressed against my warmth. I can barely breathe, and I’m tingling all over.

His huge, hard cock tells me he loves my teasing, even if he claims otherwise. We lock eyes again, and he rubs his cheek against mine softly, almost sweetly. But I don’t want him sweet, not tonight.

“Buffy” I whisper…

I’m silenced by his nearly lethal grip, by his cold cock parting my warm, wet lips.

“You’ll regret that,” he growls, thrusting hard.

I almost believe him.

***

For more Spike fan fic, check out Let’s Play a Game!

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5 Year Blogiversary Giveaway!

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Wow, my blog is now a half a decade old, y’all! To celebrate, I’m giving away 3 rad prizes from my Etsy shop:

  1. Squirt necklace made by yours truly! (Not currently available for sale!)
  2. Your choice of photo coaster or 5×7 sex toy print
  3. Your choice of photo magnet

You can enter for any/all of the prizes, but you can only win one.

I’m also offering 25% off everything in my Etsy shop (including sets) with code 5YEARS. I’m not currently making more coasters or magnets, so if there’s something you want, get it before it’s gone!

The giveaway and sale end October 10th at midnight CST–good luck everyone!

Penny’s 5 Year Blogiversary Giveaway!

And now for the winners…

The Squirt necklace goes to Backwoods Bedroom!

The photo coaster or 5×7 sex toy print goes to Caitlin L!

The photo magnet goes to Amber L!

Thanks to everyone who entered and shared the giveaway!

 

Vegan Safer Sex Barriers

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Most latex condoms and barriers are not vegan friendly because they are made using casein (a milk protein) and are tested on animals. Lambskin condoms are also definitely not vegan as they are made with sheep intestines. Thankfully though there are some vegan friendly condoms that don’t contain any animal ingredients and aren’t tested on animals. Also check out my post on vegan sex toys.

Vegan Latex Condoms & Dams

Thankfully there are plenty of vegan latex condom options! Condoms can also be converted to dental dams, which is handy because dams aren’t as widely available, and there aren’t any certified vegan flavorless/scentless dam options (that I know of).

Sustain Condoms are vegan and fair trade certified latex condoms. My local co-op carries them (yay!) and they’re available at Good Vibes, Condomania, and some mainstream retailers like Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Whole Foods, and CVS or directly from their site.

Sir Richards are vegan certified condoms with a Buy One Give One program (for every condom bought, they donate one to a community in need.) I found some at my local vegan shop, and they’re available from Early to Bed and SheBop as well some mainstream retailers or directly from their site.

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*So far I’ve tried Sir Richard’s & Sustain, and I don’t really have a preference between them. They both go on easily, I can barely feel them, and they don’t have a strong latex smell or taste.

Glyde also offers vegan fair trade latex condoms, flavored condoms, and flavored dental dams. They’re one of the cheapest options, and they also have an outreach program and sponsor Woodhull! I have yet to try them but will add an update when I do. Glyde products are available from Early to BedSmitten Kitten, Good Vibes, SheBop, Condomania, or directly from their site.

L Condoms offers certified vegan latex condoms, and they also have a buy one give one program. They’re available from Condomania, some Whole Foods, and directly from their site.

French Letter is a UK company that makes fair trade, vegan condoms including non-lubricated condoms (the only ones I know of). Non-lubricated condoms are ideal for vegans who want to use condoms on silicone toys since many condoms use silicone lubricant, which can damage silicone toys. They ship to the US and other countries.

Condomi is also a UK company that makes vegan condoms.

RFSU are latex condoms made in Sweden–I see them listed as vegan on retailers sites, but I couldn’t find any information from them directly about being vegan or certified.

Kimono condoms aren’t certified but are advertised as vegan. I don’t know the company’s stance on animal testing though. They’re available at Early to Bed, SheBopGood Vibes, from their site, and at CVS.

B Condoms aren’t certified or advertised as vegan but they say they are in their FAQ section.

Einhorn is a German company that makes vegan, fair trade, sustainable condoms. I wish I could order some because they’re unicorn themed and have fun packaging, but they’re only available in Germany and Austria.

Non-Latex Condoms, Dams, & Gloves

I’m not allergic to latex, but I used to think I had a latex sensitivity because latex condoms often mildly irritated me. Now that I’ve switched to vegan latex condoms, I haven’t had any issues, so in my case it might have been something in standard latex condoms. I’m not a doctor though and obviously avoid latex if you think you’re allergic.

As far as I know, non-latex barrier options such as nitrile and polyisoprene are formulated as vegan, but unfortunately there aren’t any certified/advertised vegan options (if you know of any, please let me know!), and the companies that make these may test on animals.

FC2 are nitrile internal condoms. They’re available from SheVibe, Early to BedSmitten Kitten, Good Vibes, and some mainstream retailers like Walgreens, Walmart, & CVS.

Hot Dams are polyurethane, flavorless dental dams. The only shop I’ve found them at is SheBop.

Nitrile gloves are available from Early to Bed, Good Vibes, SheBop, and many other mainstream stores–I’ve even found some at Home Depot.

Lifestyles SKYN & Durex Avanti Bare are polyisoprene non-latex condoms and are available where most condoms are sold. They may be formulated without animal ingredients since they aren’t latex, but they aren’t advertised as vegan and are subsidiaries of companies that do test on animals.1

pennysblog_vegancondoms_3*Note: This post is not sponsored. Support sex positive shops (and my blog!) by shopping through the affiliate links below, or buy vegan condoms locally or directly from the manufacturer. I don’t recommend buying condoms (or sex toys) from Amazon.

Shops with vegan barrier options

CondomaniaSir Richard’sSustain, Glyde, L Condoms, Kimono, SKYN, Avanti BareFC2

Early to Bed– Sir Richard’s, Glyde, FC2, nitrile glovesKimono, SKYN. They also have a list of their vegan products.

Good Vibrations– Sustain, Glyde, FC2, nitrile glovesKimonoSKYN

SheBopSir Richard’s, Glyde Dams, RFSU, Hot Dam, FC2, nitrile gloves, Kimono, SKYN. Also check out all of their vegan products.

Smitten Kitten– Glyde, FC2SKYN. Also check out all of their vegan products.

SheVibeFC2, SKYN. Also check out their other vegan products.

Vegan condoms in Austin

If you’re looking for vegan condoms in Austin, I’ve found them at the following places:

Rabbit Food Grocery– Sir Richard’s, Sustain

Wheatsville Co-op (South Lamar)- Sustain, Kimono

Whole Foods (Lamar)- Sustain, L Condoms

*In case you’re wondering, the adorable bag my condoms are in is the Limited Edition Fun Factory Toybag! Condoms pictured: SustainSir Richard’s 

pennysblog_sliquidpinkI’ll probably do a separate post about vegan lubes, but my fave is Sliquid! H2O & Sassy are my go-tos.


  1. I emailed and verified that SKYN does not contain casein. 

Corny

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Pictured: Lilly holding Lunabelle‘s Crazy Corncob dildo while we admired her sex toy collection at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last year. I had so much fun bonding with my peeps (and doing impromptu naked photoshoots, like you do.) Sadly I won’t be able to make it this year, but I’ll be there with the #blogsquad in spirit.

Happy Toy Tuesday y’all!