Yesterday, someone found my blog by searching for the term “does Hitachi ruin sex life?” I got these kinds of “how will sex toys affect my sex life” questions and comments frequently when I worked at the sex shop, from straight up ones like “will this vibrator make me go numb eventually?” to the more subtle “I want something small so I don’t scare him” to the snide boyfriend’s “that better not replace me” remark. My least favorite ones were the curious but nervous friends that would say judgmental things like “I don’t need one, I have a boyfriend” while their friends purchased a new vibrator.
Everyone’s sexual preferences are different, and there is no “correct” way to get off. Although I can get off (clitorally) without toys, I love the quick, powerful orgasms my Hitachi gives me. And I can’t have a gushing g-spot orgasm without a good toy or someone else’s help (hand cramp anyone?) But who cares? I certainly don’t, and I’m thankful for my boyfriend’s thick fingers and hard toys with specially designed curved tips. There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing a sex toy. And as far as replacing my partner? Can a vibrator pull my hair, pinch my nipples, or spank my ass? How about listen to my breathing and moans and respond accordingly? No.
My point is, there’s nothing wrong with using sex toys or whatever sexual exploration you choose. If you can’t get off without a vibrator, so what? If you can give yourself a screaming orgasm with only your hand, or with your mind, or with multiple partners, or by staring at photos of feet while you tickle your asshole, good for you. I won’t judge your sex life, as long as it’s safe and consensual. Like I said before, there’s no wrong way to get off, unless you have a problem with it. And if you truly find yourself feeling a harmful “addiction” to vibration or less sensitive, all you have to do is stop using vibration for awhile or even switch to a lower setting, and you’ll soon regain your sensitivity (Getting Off.) This has never happened to me though, and I’ve been using jack-hammer powered plug in vibrators for 9 years now…
and guess what? I’m proud to be a Hitachi “addict.”
Waxman, Jamye. “The Buzz:Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Vibrators.”Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation. Emeryville, CA: Seal, 2007. 81. Print.