Apr 13, 2014
Lelo’s description of the Ida, revised by me for accuracy:
Discover a mind-blowing new way to
share destroy intimacy with Ida™, the premium couples’ massager worn by women when making love attempting to have sex. Ida™ is the world’s first remote-controlled couples’ massager to combine powerful mediocre vibrations with thrilling rotations incessant poking, offering completely new painful stabbing sensations for both partners. More Less pleasure for him, more pleasure pain for her with unlimited few possibilities for play – your love life will never be the same again!
Well, at least they got the last part right! When used as intended, the Ida will change your love life, but not the way it claims.
Marketed as a “couples” vibrator, the Lelo Ida is a silicone vibrator that is supposed to be worn during penetration. Its design features a small round disk meant to sit on the clit and vibrate, and an attached 3″ by 1″ shaft that is supposed to vibrate and rotate, except it has no room to rotate when crammed up in a vagina with a penis. That’s probably a good thing though, since Ida already pokes at my insides without any added motion.
The worst experience I had with the Ida was trying to use it in doggy style, when Jake couldn’t even insert himself all of the way, and just trying to sent sharp pain through my vagina.
The best (aka least painful) way we used it as a couples’ toy was in missionary. In this position, at first it isn’t so bad, and at least we can actually insert it, and I’m not screaming in pain. But when we start thrusting faster and harder, Ida’s arm starts to feel really pokey and uncomfortable (for both me and Jake), and before long I want it out. Even after it’s out, my vagina feels raw and used and not in a good way, and Jake is desensitized from Ida’s buzzy vibration.
Basically, the Ida makes it its mission to ruin sex.
After letting Ida chafe and prod our genitals a few times, Jake suggested trying it during anal, and I welcomed the thought of not trying to double stuff my vagina. In theory, wearing Ida vaginally during anal penetration actually seemed like a genius idea, since it could provide hands free vibration and should rotate as intended without the hindrance of a neighboring penis.
Sadly though, the Ida still fell short. Ida’s disk barely reaches my clit, and its vibrations aren’t deep enough to satisfy me during anal. I tried pushing it into my clit, but its circular shape prevents pinpoint stimulation, and it frustrates me, which leads to anal sex becoming uncomfortable because I’m no longer relaxed like I need to be.
As a couple’s toy, Ida fails in just about every way. As a solo vibrator though, Ida actually provides a unique sensation. The first time I tried it, I kept thinking this kinda feels like a mini DJ roomba on my clit, minus the jams. Ida’s rotation causes the disk portion to move in circles (like a little robot!) which feels pretty rad.
Lelo could be on to something with this design if they made the shaft bigger and made the vibration stronger. But as it is, the internal portion doesn’t really do anything for me because it’s too small and too weak, and I can orgasm clitorally when it’s on the strongest setting while pushing the disk against my clit, but it’s nothing to write home about.
Another thing I do like about the Ida is the SenseMotion technology, which allows you to control the vibration intensity simply by moving the controller rather than searching for buttons to press. When reading the manual it sounds complicated, but it’s easy to use once you figure it out.
I also tried using Ida with my Charmer, since it’s the softest/most flexible dildo I have, and while it didn’t poke me as much as it did with Jake, it didn’t add anything. The vibes are too buzzy, and it feels weird and out of place. I’d much rather use a good regular vibe than a “hands free” vibe that I have to cram in my vagina with a dildo to use.
The Ida can be controlled by two different SenseMotion modes (I like the one where you tilt it to increase the vibrations) or by scrolling through the 6 programmed modes. In any mode you can increase and decrease vibration, but the internal and external portions can’t be controlled separately. Ida is waterproof and since it’s made of silicone, it can be cleaned and sterilized with soap and warm water. Like all Lelo’s, it’s rechargeable and comes with a one year manufacturer’s warranty.
When I first read Epiphora’s review, which starts with, “I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the Lelo Ida,” I made a joke in the comments section:
New marketing idea for the Ida: the toy you buy when you want to break up with someone.Tagline: Can we be done yet?
After trying the Ida myself, I now realize that Ida’s ability to ruin sex is no laughing matter. Also, I have a new tagline idea:
Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
I can’t in good conscience recommend the Ida, unless you just want to collect every toy ever made by Lelo or you’re into vaginal pain. At best, the Ida’s roomba-esque movement feels nice during solo use (but not $200 nice) and at worst, it will stab your insides and probably ruin sex. If you want to try a Lelo vibrator, get a Mona or Mia instead.
P.S. If someone wants to buy me a Mona 2 to make up for the experience of trying this toy, that would be amazing!
Apr 12, 2014
Earlier this week, a loud, windy storm with thunder and hail hit us all of a sudden. Jake took this shot of me by the rainy window on my phone, and I’m glad he did because by the time I got out my camera and tripod to try for some self portraits, it was already dark out, and the lovely lighting I wanted to capture was gone.