Category Archives: Events

Corny

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Pictured: Lilly holding Lunabelle‘s Crazy Corncob dildo while we admired her sex toy collection at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last year. I had so much fun bonding with my peeps (and doing impromptu naked photoshoots, like you do.) Sadly I won’t be able to make it this year, but I’ll be there with the #blogsquad in spirit.

Happy Toy Tuesday y’all!

Impromptu Photo-shoot: Caitlin at Woodhull

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Quite a few spontaneous photo-shoots happened at Woodhull this summer, many of which happened on the last day. It all started when I lent my camera to Epiphora to take some photos of her Wahl and Womanizer. Then I shot some self portraits in Bex’s shiny new Eleven. Then Epiphora shot Bex and I jumping on the bed wearing only strap-ons. Then I shot some portraits of the awesome Caitlin of Sex-ational! (don’t they have the prettiest eyes!?)…while still only wearing my strap-on. You’d never guess from the photos that it was technically a “nude” shoot…or knowing us, you might. 😉

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Thanks Epiphora for capturing this rad behind the scenes shot on my phone!

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Joquing Around

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When my friends and I get together, we have impromptu photo-shoots jumping on the bed, naked, wearing strap-ons.

Photos of Bex & I shot by Epiphora & edited by me.

PS- If you’re wondering, those black markings on my butt are the remnants of Sharpie sex toy tattoos Artemisia gave me.

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Dildo Hero

“When I die, bury me with all my sex toys.” —Lunabelle

pennysblog_lunabelleLunabelle, aka the writer of Ninja Sexology, is one of my dildo heroes. I have quite a few dildos, but her collection is straight up awe-inspiring. She currently owns 185 dildos, many of which are from small companies and are unique, colorful, gorgeous, and often huge. Lucky for those of us who attended Woodhull last month, she brought along about 50 of them for us to admire and squish!pennysblog_ninjascollectionpennysblog_ninjascollection2pennysblog_ninjascollection_3SinfulSundayLips100

Today is my 1st Monaversary!

Guess what, y’all?! Today is my one year Monaversary! Funnily enough, I know that because of Facebook’s memory thing, which shows that I posed this as my status one year ago today “I know this is my vanilla Facebook…but I don’t care! MY MONA IS HERE!!!” 

I’m happy to say that Mona and I are still going strong! And since other Lelo toys I’ve had for 3+ years like Mia still work fine, hopefully Mona and I will have many more years together.

To celebrate, here are some photos I took of Mona against the vulva wallpaper at the hotel last month at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. I only brought 5 sex toys on the trip (only 2 vibes), and Mona was one of them1.

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Wanna celebrate your love for Mona with me? Get something Mona themed from my shop! Or, still pining for your own Mona? Get one on sale at SheVibe (sale !


  1. 5 points to whoever can guess/remembers the other 4 

5 Reasons Why Woodhull Was an Amazing Experience

I had such an amazing experience at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, put on by the incredible Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. Thanks so much to Tantus and Njoy for the blogger scholarship that helped me get there and to Bex for graciously allowing me to stay with her and drive to the conference together, and for taking me to the beach and watching Supernatural with me, among other things.

1. The Sessions Were Informative, Moving, and Motivating

The sessions at Woodhull were a perfect blend of vital information, important stories, inspiring speakers, and calls to action.

The first one I attended was The How’s and Why’s of Sex Education in Blogging, Retail, and Manufacturing, where we heard from two of the first champions for safe sex toys in the industry, Jennifer Pritchett from Smitten Kitten and Metis Black from Tantus, as well as leading sex toy safety blogger Dangerous Lilly and blogger Caitlin Murphy. The industry has come a long way thanks to these amazing folks, but we still have a lot of work to do. Many people are still unknowingly buying toxic toys that can potentially leave them with infections or chemical burns. Most people still aren’t getting pleasure based (if any) accurate sex education.

There were so many important points made during the session, but the most memorable moment for me was listening to Jennifer talk about a married couple they helped in the store. The wife was unable to orgasm, and they’d seen therapists for decades trying to change that, and until then, somehow no one had thought to ask if she knew where her clitoris is.  The second session I attended on Friday was The Monster Under the Bed: Starting the Conversation About Sex and Depression. JoEllen Notte, Crista Anne, and Stephen Biggs talked about stereotypes surrounding depression and sex, the lack of education from healthcare professionals on the sexual side-effects of medication, the importance of feeling pleasure during depression, and more. JoEllen also shared some of the things she’s learned during her research for her upcoming book on sex and depression, which I can’t wait to read when it comes out. It was an emotional and oh-so-important session.

The most information packed session was definitely Lube! An In-Depth Look at Personal Lubricants–we were all in awe of Sarah‘s incredible lube research and knowledge. Basically, we learned that most water based lubes that are widely available at drugstores are hyper-osomtic and can cause irritation and increase your risk of infections and STIs. If you want to learn more, check out Piph’s notes. The good news from this session was that Sliquid (the lube I use) is one of the few that is safe for most people’s genitals.

On Saturday, I wasn’t sure which sessions I’d go to, but I wandered in to Punishing Pleasure: Legal Updates from the Trenches of Adult Entertainment, and I’m glad I did because the information about adult entertainment and censorship was really interesting. First Amendment Attorneys Lawrence Walters and Luke Lirot talked about how vague “obscenity” charges are and how modern censorship politics link erotica with human trafficking to create hysteria.

The second session I went to on Saturday was Yes, All Genders: How to Normalize and Include Trans Bodies with Alex Morgan and Monique Darling. There was a lot of important discussion and information, and the biggest take away for me was to stop making assumptions about people. Don’t assume someone’s gender or whether they’re cis or trans based on their appearance.  Don’t assume that everyone will fit into the binary and make space for those who don’t. Don’t assume people you’re talking to can’t handle inclusive discussions–challenge your audience, peers and friends. It’s all easier said than done, and I know for me it’s easier in sex positive spaces than in the “real world” but it’s important to constantly challenge ourselves to do better.

The last session I went to was Let’s Talk About Senior Sex by the amazing Joan Price. As was the case last time I attended one of her sessions, many of the things she talked about applies to people of all ages, though her focus is on senior sex. She covered a range of topics from how sexuality changes as we age to specific sex toy needs for seniors to the importance of safe sex and how to put a condom on a soft penis with your mouth (no more, I can’t get hard with a condom on excuse!) We’re all hoping she’ll do a post about that soon. Oh, and I won’t go into it too much because I’m sure Epiphora will write about it, but someone tried to mansplain vibrators to a room full of sex bloggers. Nope.

2. Bloggers Were Welcomed and Appreciated

 

It’s easy to feel lost in a huge conference, but Ricci Levy encouraged bloggers to attend, thanked us for coming, and was so welcoming and supportive, we were blown away. Tantus also sponsored and set up a blogger lounge where we could gather, feel safe, and get our coffee fix, which made all the difference. The attitude from all of the retailers I came in contact with, including the wonderful folks from SheVibe, Smitten Kitten, and Tantus, was that review feedback is necessary and helpful, that negative reviews are just as important as positive ones, and that the Blog Squad is mighty and valued in the industry.

3. I Met Big Name People (and It Wasn’t a Big Deal)

I got to have lunch and spend some time with the fabulous Sandra and Thor from SheVibe. I listened to Metis tell industry stories. Ricci Levy offered a phone number in case we needed anything. Peyton helped us figure out the espresso machine and was so sweet and easy to talk to. I met the genius behind Njoy. Smitten Kitten picked me up some gluten free snacks from a nearby Whole Foods.  Buck Angel sat and listened to the Yes All Genders panel and danced with us during the gala. I didn’t actually get a chance to talk to Nina Hartley, but I listened to her talk about why she got into porn during BedPost Confessions (and she retweeted me a couple of times, *squee*.) I never felt like I couldn’t talk to or approach someone–everyone I encountered was friendly and welcoming.

4. Internet Friends Became Real Life Friends

No conference would be complete without bonding time, and I was so glad I got to see close blogger friends like Bex, Epiphora, and Reenie from Dildo Holiday as well as meet others, some of which I’d known for years on the Internet and some new.

Lilly had warned that she might be shy or hard to approach but that wasn’t actually the case at all–she was super easy to talk to and was equal parts passionate and silly. Since Caitlin was staying with Bex as well, I got to spend extra time with them, and they’re really kind and fun, not to mention fabulously femme–one night they cooked for Bex and I in a pin up dress *swoon.* Artemisia was as awesome as I imagined– she’s gorgeous, sweet, and of course had ALL the glitter nail polish, and I had a lot of fun geeking out over photography with her.

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Lunabelle’s dildos

One of the things Lunabelle is known for is her huge, eclectic collection of unique dildos, and I must say I was not disappointed with the sampling of literally 50 dildos she brought along to show us–seriously, she’s my dildo hero, and she’s also really down to earth and cool.) Also, she brought a traveling bar so…she’s pretty much winning at life.

Mandi was just as sweet, cute, and smart as I thought she’d be, and as she mentioned in her post about Woodhull, we bonded over books and cats. I really wish we (and all of blog squad) lived closer because I would definitely call her to hang out on the regular. Dizzy was also really nice and easy going, and I’m glad I got to have drinks with her and the rest of the Blog Squad Thursday night. Speaking of drinks, when her, Lunabelle, and Lena, a new (and super cute) blogger showed up at the hotel pool with some strong “coffee” (which I naively took a sip of thinking was actually coffee), I thought, yep, these people know how to party.

Some other bloggers I got to meet were Crista (who gives awesome hugs and is an overall bad-ass), Mary and Harry Contrary (Texas peeps, woot!), and Beck (who I wish I had more time to bond over Buffy with.) If I’m forgetting anyone I apologize–it was a whirlwind of smiling sex positive faces!

5. Blog Squad Unite: Magic Happens When Sex Bloggers Gather

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One of the most fun parts of conferences for me is getting the opportunity to be with my peeps–there’s a magic that only happens when I’m with my sex blogger friends. Like Epiphora doing an impromptu photo-shoot of Bex and I wearing nothing but Joque harnesses and Vixen dildos while jumping on the bed. Like it being no big deal to shoot naked self portraits in Bex’s Eleven. Like getting sharpie tattoos on my butt by the babely Artemisia, and Reenie asking if she can send dildo dick pics. Like standing up to a mansplainer. Like snickering in unison at the mention of “sil-a-gel.” Like singing our lungs out to this song and chuckling as we passed a school called Poly Prep. Like talking about vagina feelings, comparing butt plugs to pizza, and using dildos as telescopes. Like getting the best hugs and feeling inspired by the amazing people you’re lucky enough to be friends with. I miss all of y’all so much already!

Want to read even more about Woodhull? Check out the event from ArtemisiaLillyMandiDizzy, LunabelleDeAnn, LenaBeck, and Ruby‘s point of views.

Glass dildo dreams come true

I already told y’all a little about how we got to make our own glass dildos at Dildo Holiday, but I also want to share some of the behind the scenes photos.

First, we checked out where the magic happens, exploring the studio and looking at various glass pieces.

pennysblog_makingglassdildos_1pennysblog_makingglassdildos_2pennysblog_makingglassdildos_3Piph went first–Kelly helped her make a swirly textured, curved turquoise dildo.

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Piph’s came out a little smaller than she wanted, so I asked Kelly to make mine bigger (it came out WAY bigger.) I chose orange and turquoise and wanted a curved dildo with two bulbous ends and some texture.

All of the photos of me/my dildo were captured by Kate.

katesglassphotos (3)katesglassphotos (6)katesglassphotos (4)katesglassphotos (2)I also captured some shots of Bex, Aerie, & Kate making their pieces. pennysblog_makingglassdildos_7 pennysblog_makingglassdildos_8Otto helped Aerie make their creation and did an awesome job of explaining the process.pennysblog_makingglassdildos_9Kate created a flower pattern in her dildo–fancy!pennysblog_makingglassdildos_10pennysblog_makingglassdildos_11Behold, the birth of seven new glass dildo beauties into the world!

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1- Reenie 2- Aerie 3-Girly Juice 4- Me 5- Kate 6- Bex 7- Epiphora

We had a guessing game on social media to see if anyone could guess them all right. Some people guessed a few right, and Panda got them all! My partner also guessed mine right, and so did a friend of mine. My partner said he guessed based on the colors and shape, and my friend said he knew because “it kinda looks like the blue one that’s your favorite.” I’m pretty sure the fact that my friends know my taste in dildos means I’ve succeeded in life.

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Thanks so much to our fabulous sponsors Tantus & We-Vibe–our glass dildo dreams wouldn’t have come true without you!

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*Check out Girly Juice’s post to read more about the glass making process!

10 of my favorite parts of Dildo Holiday

What was Dildo Holiday, you might ask? It was an epic joining of 7 sex bloggers (Epiphora, Aerie, Bex, Kate, Reenie, Girly Juice, & I) in a fabulous place on the coast of Oregon called Dildo Manor. We came together to share knowledge, dildos, and laughs, and we left with countless memories (and more dildos.) Since it would be nearly impossible for me to recount all of the fabulous moments, here are 10 of my favorite things from the trip.

1. Devil’s Point

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Photo by Aerie

I’ve been to the strip club plenty of times, but never with a group of babes. We got there early and sat up front and watched beautiful tattooed dancers do amazing things with their bodies, and I got a private dance from a dancer named Pixie who looked like a combination of Jennifer Lawrence and Stoya. It was our first night all together, and we bonded over drinks and vulvae. Oh, and some dudes called us “rich girls” because how dare we sit up front and capture the attention of the dancers by tipping an appropriate amount. Move along, bro.

2. Cherub of Shame

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Cherub of Shame trying to stop Piph from getting her Hitachi

If you were following the #dildoholiday hashtag, you probably noticed a creepy baby/angel/mermaid statue sucking its thumb called Cherub of Shame. Long story short, we noticed it was watching us when we first arrived at Dildo Manor, and then it kept appearing in random places throughout the house, as if it were alive. Piph first noticed it disapproved of our shenanigans when it tried to block her from going upstairs to grab her Hitachi during porn night, and it went downhill from there. The cherub appeared in the fridge, on the toilet, tucked in Kate’s bed, staring at us eerily from the bathroom, always watching, judging. I bet it misses us heathens though.

3. Porn Night

How can you go wrong watching an amazing selection of indie porn curated by Kate, surrounded by babely sex bloggers? We watched hot porn that didn’t show any genitals, porn with great communication, and porn with people getting fucked by doll’s legs. We all moaned in unison when Wolf Hudson and Danny Wylde kissed in My Own Master, we cheered on Jiz Lee’s rimming skills during Justify My Jiz, and we were amazed/inspired by the fact that Annie Sprinkle was squirting before any of us were even born. Oh, and we cuddled/live tweeted/had casual orgasms throughout, no big deal.

4. The Epic Sex

The first night in Dildo Manor, Epiphora let me borrow her Hitachi rechargeable during porn night. Then we kissed and went to my room, and I fingered her until the sun came up and my fingers were pruny, and she was so soft and smelled amazing and made the sexiest sounds, and it was unforgettable. Throughout Dildo Holiday, I was both a bit of an exhibitionist and a voyeur, I squirted alongside Bex (sharing porn like a textbook, like you do), I got spanked, and I was part of an epic group masturbation session during which I tried/fell in love with Aerie’s G Spoon and Kate’s glass dildo, Lil Bloomer.

5. Making our own glass dildos

Me making my glass dildo! Photo by Kate Sinclaire

Me making my glass dildo! Photo by Kate Sinclaire

Epiphora, Aerie, & Bex told us there would be a super secret surprise. They warned us that it might get hot and to wear closed toed shoes. Are we going hiking? On a boat? How is this dildo related? We were hella confused. But it all made sense when we pulled up into a parking lot, and I spotted a sign that read “Blow Your Own Glass.”

We each decided on colors and general shapes, and the artists did their best to create what we had in mind. Each of our dildos is unique to our preferences, but there was a common theme–more curve! I love the color and shape of mine…but it’s a little bigger (ok a lot bit bigger) than I intended, and I have yet to actually get it to fit in my vagina (but Kate did! So there’s hope.) We had a guessing game going on social media as to whose was whose…and Dildo Psychic Panda Sauce actually got them all right! Also, my partner/a dude friend of mine both guessed mine correctly–I was super impressed!

See more of my glass dildo making photos in this post!

The results: gorgeous glass dildos!

The results: gorgeous glass dildos!

A huge thanks to our sponsors Tantus & We-Vibe–we wouldn’t have been able to do it without them!  

6. Teaching the photography workshop  

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Photo of me by Kate Sinclaire

I don’t think I’d ever actually been excited about a PowerPoint until I made one for the how to take beautiful dildo photos workshop that Kate & I hosted. I’d also never really taught others about photography…and I realized I really enjoy it–I was so proud when Reenie captured a gorgeously composed shot, and when I showed Piph the magic of Lightroom. After the workshop, everyone suggested I offer a Photography for Sex Bloggers course, so stay tuned for details on that! 

7. The Dildos  

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Dildo Holiday meeting, captured by Epiphora

Obviously it wouldn’t have been Dildo Holiday without the dildos. Dildos, everywhere. Dildos crowding tables during meetings. Dildos stuffed in toy bags. Dildos born of fire. Dildo tattoos. Dildo photos. Dildos with cheese. Dildos soaking in bleach solution, waiting to be used again. Dildos in sinks. In closets. In our epic goodie bags. In porn. In vaginas.

8. Telephone Pictionary- Sex Blogger Edition pennysblog_telephone_pictionaryWhen sex bloggers get together and play telephone pictionary (aka Eat Poop You Cat), ridiculous things happen. Somehow “double penetration” becomes “very confused genital person whose parts have been replaced with a coat hanger” and “sharing porn like sharing a textbook” turns into “pregnant people looking at a farmer’s butt while the farmer looks at a painting of a cat wearing a butt plug.” We laughed until we cried (and snorted.)

9. Pizza+Sybian+50 Shades of Grey

What did we do on the last day that everyone was together in Portland? We ordered a ridiculous amount of pizza, curled up together in Piph’s basement, watched mocked 50 Shades of Grey, and rode the infamous Sybian, of course–Girly Juice even managed to do all 3 simultaneously. As if it could get any better, Piph’s adorable cat Chowder did a round of lap-sitting while we watched.

A huge thanks to SheVibe, our generous food sponsor!

10. The People

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Epic matching sex toys/tattoos photo, captured by Kate

I don’t think I’ve ever clicked with a group of people as quickly and effortlessly as I did with the Dildo Holiday peeps. Even though I’d only met half of them IRL, it seemed like we’d all been friends for years. When I was with my peeps, it was completely normal to live tweet masturbation sessions, shoot noodzhang out without pants, compare the curliness of our pubes, toast to DPs, and to share lube and sex toys (after discussing STI status/cleaning preferences, of course.) Girly Juice goes into it more in her post, but the sex positive and body positive vibes were nothing short of amazing.

Want to hear even more about Dildo Holiday? Check out Epiphora’s postStorify, Girly Juice’s posts, & Kate’s posts!

Thanks so much to all of the Dildo Holiday sponsors: Tantus, We-Vibe, SheVibe, Early to Bed, Smitten Kitten,  & Tool Shed Toys— y’all are the best!

Diana J Torres- Vagaculation Workshop

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I didn’t really know what to expect from queer, anarcha-feminist activist and performance artist Diana J Torres’ Vagaculation1 workshop at Forbidden Fruit Thursday night. Or rather, I kind of just expected it to be a class on techniques on how to ejaculate, but it was so much more than that–it was full of real talk about the social and political reasons why women (or people who have a vagina) don’t ejaculate.

Diana began by telling us her story–she’s always been an ejaculator, leaving a “lake on the bed.”  For years she thought she was peeing every time she had great sex, but something clicked for her after a time when she noticed a white ring around the puddle she’d left.

She had a feeling that she wasn’t peeing during sex but didn’t know what was happening, so Diana turned to science to try to figure out what was going on with her body, where she found bullshit and sexist ignorance at every turn. At the University of Barcelona, she found scientific diagrams of female anatomy with white space where the female prostate should be. Medical descriptions undermined women’s pleasure, calling the vulva a “secondary characteristic” and the clitoris an “incidental organ” (are you fucking kidding?)

I’d rather have my head cut off than my clit, she said in response to that.

Basically, women’s anatomy that isn’t related to reproduction or hetero sex is undermined or ignored within medicine and ignorance reigns. So much so, that in Spain and Mexico, if you go to a gyno and explain that you think you’re peeing during sex (ejaculating), that they’ll send you to a urologist, and then they’ll remove your prostate to “fix the problem.” Girls as young as 18 have come to Diana’s workshops and have told her about this happening to them. I know that cunt ejaculation is still very taboo, but I had no idea this was happening–it’s beyond infuriating!

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop3You may have noticed by now that I haven’t referred to the “g-spot” so far in this post, and there’s a reason for that. Another thing Diana talked about was what she considers the conspiracy or war against the (female) prostate. She explained that she thinks that Gräfenberg (the man who “discovered” the g-spot) couldn’t just come out and say that women have prostates because of his era, but that everything he discovered pointed to what he found (the g-spot) as being a prostate very similar to men’s prostates.

From that point on, according to Torres, the idea of the g-spot and especially its relation to orgasm was a money making ploy to get people to buy books and products about how to find the g-spot, while at the same time keeping women from actually knowing their bodies. Many of the books about finding the g-spot were aimed at men, as if women can’t find it themselves. In her opinion, the word g-spot is overly femme and misleading because in reality it’s a prostate, and there’s no reason not to call it that.2 She explained that women can get prostate cancer, but that by the time it’s caught it’s often spread and is classified as vaginal cancer, and that the prostate isn’t a gendered thing–there aren’t a lot of differences between male and female prostates.

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop2Her ideas were reinforced by research of other cultures that mention female ejaculation as completely normal. Aristotle, Hypocrates, and Galenus all mentioned cunt ejaculation and the term sperm wasn’t gendered because they didn’t know yet that sperm are only present in male ejaculation. Female ejaculation is also part of a ritual in matriarchal socities called “kachapati” in Uganda, wherein older women teach young women to ejaculate as part of a rite of passage.

So if ejaculation was seen in history as a normal part of women’s sexuality (and is considered normal in some other cultures), what happened? Our western cultures and oppressive religion happened (namely, Catholicism.)

After talking about the ways in which female ejaculation has been systematically ignored, or worse, vilified as something that only whores do, Torres went on to explain how we can GET REVENGE (aka take back our sexuality) by:

-Knowing out bodies better than science does. Mistrust science always.

-Make up for lost time by practicing.

-Spread the word! You don’t have to tell everyone you meet on the street about cunt ejaculation (though that sounds kind of amazing to me.) Tell everyone you care about.

She also shared tips on how to start ejaculating (or become ok with it if there is shame associated with it):

It’s NOT pee. Repeat this like a mantra. She suggests cumming onto a black sheet so that you can see a white ring around it after it dries as she did, or ejaculating into a container to see that it’s not yellow.

Even though I ejaculate, and I know it’s not pee, I still stick my nose in my come almost every time, just to smell it and remind myself. I’ve also blotted the wetness with toilet paper to check its color. She also suggests checking your pee color right after sex, because if you don’t expel ejaculate, retrograde ejaculation happens and it ends up in the bladder, often changing the color of your pee to white.

-Get over the women are “clean” and their pleasure is “discreet” lies. LIES. LIES. LIES.

-Techniques: Relax right before orgasm instead of contracting, which is usually our reflex. If you do start to ejaculate, push to keep it going. You can’t contract and push at the same time, so if you push, you’ll stop your contracting. She also suggests using fingers (and putting your shoulder into it when your hand gets tired) though personally dildos work better for me. Either way, you can’t usually ejaculate when you have anything big inside of you, so it’ll have to come out at some point.

-Be patient.

-Protect your mattress. Get a plastic mattress cover (or if you want to be fancy, a Throe–I don’t know what I would do without mine!) This is actually a health issue, as fungus can grow on a wet mattress and cause health problems.

-Tell partners ahead of time that you might ejaculate. This can serve as a filter for good lovers and will help avoid people who may have unintentionally (or intentionally) negative responses when surprised by vagaculation.

Although her workshop was very different from the one Deborah Sundahl hosted here in Austin a few years ago, the core theme I took away from both of them was the same–that the reasons women don’t ejaculate are mainly psychological.

What does this mean for us though? It’s definitely not as simple as, “Oh, ok, I’ve been told that women are meant to be clean and proper, and that’s BS so I’ll just start ejaculating now!” As Diana said–you’re not going to erase centuries of oppression in one workshop (or one attempt.) It takes time and effort. And it may never happen, and that’s fine. Not being able to ejaculate doesn’t make you any less of a “real women” or a “real feminist.” You aren’t missing mind blowing orgasms if you don’t ejaculate (in fact, ejaculation isn’t even necessarily connected to orgasms at all.)

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop1Another thing I found incredibly interesting during the class was that Diana told us about how once she tried to stop her ejaculation by putting her finger over her urethra, and she still ejaculated. So she looked into it more and discovered there are actually other holes besides the urethra that expel ejaculate–the Skene’s ducts.

This led to an interesting discussion that I started on Twitter. She said you can see the ducts if you pull the labia taught and shine a light directly in front of it. I have yet to see them on my vulva (I need a magnifying mirror stat!) but I am definitely going to explore this.

I could go on and on about the workshop. It was extremely thought provoking, and Diana was in your face and intense and at times hilarious. At first I wondered if I should share the things I learned in this workshop on my blog…since we did pay ($10 which was well worth it) to go to her workshop.

But that is the opposite of what her workshop was about. It was about fighting ignorance and spreading knowledge and breaking through the patriarchal bullshit and owning our sexuality. It was about explaining that the g-spot/prostate isn’t something you need to spend money to find or something mysterious you have to go mining in your vagina for.

And on the flip side–this is by no means an all inclusive explanation of her workshop. I took copious notes, but there was an energy in the class that I can’t explain by just describing her points. I may write more about some of the things she talked about in greater depth because there was so much to think about, and if anyone has questions or thoughts, I’d love to chat.

If you’re in Austin, Diana’s doing two more events this weekend, one tonight (Porno Terrorismo) and one on Sunday (Muestra marrana.) And if you ever get a chance to go to one of her workshops, GO. Just trust me. Also, she’s coming out with a book soon, so I can’t wait to read that.

*Thanks for hosting this awesome workshop Forbidden Fruit!


  1. I love the name vagaculation, btw. Vagaculation. Vagaculation. 

  2. I’m not condemning the term g-spot, but it’s definitely something worth thinking about. 

Yes, the G-Spot Is Real

Yesterday I finally made it out to Q-Toys, the only store in Austin that carries only safe, non-toxic sex toys, for a g-spot workshop. The small shop on Burnet is a mecca for those seeking quality toys in Texas, and I had a great time checking out some I’ve been eyeing, like the We-Vibe Touch, Vixskin Mustang, and Pure Plugs, and talking to the awesome and friendly owner Stephanie.

What I wasn’t impressed with though was the g-spot workshop. And by not impressed I actually mean very upset.

The class seemed to have potential, with the Pure Wand, Gigi, and other quality g-spot toys lining the front table, but things went downhill fast when the presenter (Julie Sunday) started the workshop by saying that no one really knows if the g-spot exists.

At first I thought maybe it was a joke or a transition into discussing how the study of female pleasure is often dismissed or distorted, but it wasn’t. We’ve all heard the debates about whether or not the g-spot exists, even though we know it does. The g-spot is the urethral sponge. It sits around the urethra & can be felt through the front wall of the vagina. I’m not surprised (but still upset) when I hear these discussions in mainstream media, but in a sex positive store, from a sex educator?

Yes, a sex educator started the g-spot workshop by saying that no one knows if the g-spot exists, and if it does, no one knows what it is. She drew up a diagram of vaginal anatomy, but with ??? instead of labeling the g-spot.

workshopdiagramMy heightened blood pressure lowered a bit as the presenter moved on to talk about toys that stimulate the g-spot…until at the end of the class, as if it was an afterthought, she mentioned female ejaculation.

Specifically, she claimed that some women just ejaculate and others don’t, and if you don’t already ejaculate naturally, you probably never will, so don’t worry about it. She joked, “there are some porn dvds that claim they can teach it, so if you want to drop $50, I’m sure it works (sarcastic tone.)”

What??

At this point I was screaming on the inside, and I wanted to get up in front of the class and say this is absolutely not true! But I didn’t want to get into a big confrontation, so I waited until she was done. I whispered to my friend about it, who was equally shocked by the presentation, and then I approached Julie when someone else was done asking her a question.

I tried to be friendly as I told her that it’s definitely possible to learn how to ejaculate, that I have, and that I know of a lot of others who have too. Her response was to tell me that it’s a big thing in porn to ejaculate, and that it puts unnecessary pressure on people and that plenty of people are just fine without it. I understand that this may be the case for some people, but isn’t that why we’re here at a g-spot class, to learn about stimulating the g-spot?

I tried talking to her more about my concerns with what she’d said, but it was going nowhere. I started feeling pretty uncomfortable talking to her, and I’m not great with confrontation, so I let it go and went back to looking at toys and talking to the owner.

I wasn’t planning on critiquing the workshop at all, but I feel obligated to say something about the misinformation in the class. We already have enough people claiming the g-spot isn’t real and that female ejaculation isn’t real or you have to be a porn star to do it, and the fact that a sex educator is furthering these misconceptions worries me. If I didn’t already know what the g-spot is and how to stimulate mine, I would have left the workshop confused, frustrated, and discouraged.

It’s definitely possible to learn how to ejaculate. I’ve done it, plenty of others have done it, and there are books and classes that can help. Not everyone can do it, and not everyone likes it, and that’s fine, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to or trying to learn.

There are a plethora of misconceptions about the g-spot. It isn’t the be all end all of female pleasure. It’s not a magic place you can just find and immediately start having the best orgasms of your life. Everyone’s g-spot is different, some are more sensitive than others, and not everyone enjoys the way g-spot stimulation feels.

But the g-spot is a real, physical thing. Period.

From The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-spot

From The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot

*Helpful G-Spot Links & Resources:

Does the G-Spot Exist? – She Blog

Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot – Deborah Sundahl

G-spot Resource Guide & G-spot Facts – Violet Blue

How To Find the G-Spot – Ducky Doolittle

The G-Spot Does Exist! – Oh, Megan!

The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms & Female Ejaculation

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot

Tristan Taormino, Danny Wylde, & Dylan Ryan Talk the G-spot

**Update 6/27**

The owner of Q Toy’s response to my post (which I emailed her about) was mostly dismissive. She said that she wouldn’t address Julie’s stance on female ejaculation because she had already talked to her about it and knew they disagreed on the subject (so she knew before the workshop that the educator doesn’t believe women can learn to ejaculate, which is a problem.)

As for the g-spot not existing, she defended the presentation, saying that no one was claiming the g-spot doesn’t exist, only that the scientific community hasn’t agreed on it etc. But as I explained before, the presentation started by saying that no one knows if the g-spot exists or what it is, and Julie didn’t assert that it is real or explain the basics of what it is. Hence the ??? on the diagram.  She did say that if I took it that way, others might too, so she’d talk to Julie about re-framing the discussion, which is something, but the fact that she defended the presentation and made it seem like it was acceptable and normal is frustrating. Not surprisingly, she also said she wished I had come to her before posting (which actually means, I wish you had come to me so I could convince you not to post.)

I explained myself further in another email, although I feel it was already properly addressed in my post:

“I wanted to wait until the presentation was over to bring it up to be polite, but as I said in my post, I was not able to engage in a constructive conversation with Julie. When I said there are books about the g-spot, she immediately said they don’t know what they’re talking about. I responded, “Violet Blue doesn’t know what she’s talking about?” and she said “no, definitely not,” immediately dismissing me. The way she described female ejaculation & trying to learn was also sarcastic and negative. A workshop space should not be a place that makes fun of people who are trying to learn about female ejaculation or any sexual topic.”

I never heard back after that. After her response to my 1st email & lack of response to my 2nd, I don’t feel comfortable shopping at Q Toys again, which is unfortunate because I liked the store. Also, from the response I got, it seems the problematic presentation will continue mostly as is, with the same presenter.