Photo by Studiocaze
This is an older photo of me, but I wanted to share it this week because it exemplifies what I strive for in life lately: playfulness, joy, enjoying every moment as it comes. I love the movement, blur and feeling of the photo, a perfect moment of happiness captured in time.
I often find myself caught up in thoughts, worries, plans. I constantly ask myself questions like, what is the perfect job for me? What is the purpose of life? Why are we so removed from nature? Why is society they way it is? Why is sex such a taboo, why can’t we talk about it? Why do I have to hide my job and my blog from so many people? Why is there so much focus on work in life, and why are rest and peace and happiness valued less than ambition, money, and “success”? Why are people so involved with and sometimes even addicted to social networks like Facebook? Where is all of this technology taking us? Is there a point in participating in politics? How can I really make a difference?
I could (and sometimes do) go on and on. While it’s good to ponder the big questions in life, I’ve found that many times the key to being happy for me is to let go and just enjoy “being” and living in the moment. I’ve read about mindfulness and hope to move towards practicing it more and enjoying every moment as it comes.
Lately I feel restless, like I’m always waiting. Waiting until I can travel, until I can see Jake again and get to bed since it seems we’re always working, until I can do what I want, until I can have a house with a yard and a garden, until I don’t have to worry about health insurance or job hunting or my often sketchy neighborhood.
But there’s always something to worry about; there’s always something to wait for. I’m tired of it, tired of waiting and worrying and focusing on whats not right in front of me.
Right now I am enjoying a warm cup of coffee, the calm quiet in my apartment, my adorable kitty sleeping next to me, and that’s all that matters.
I got on my computer and was searching for a photo to share for Wanton Wednesday, especially since it’s the anniversary edition, and this is what came out of me. While the photo and commentary aren’t exactly wanton in the typical definition (sexually promiscuous), they are wanton in the archaic definition–playful and carefree. Happy Anniversary Wanton Wednesday!