Feb 23, 2014
Yesterday I had a massive sex toy cleaning session, and drying sex toys invaded our kitchen and bar area…
Day 23 of February Photofest
Feb 22, 2014
Even before I tried the Little Secrets Spoon, a 3.4 inch longer bullet vibrator covered in a silicone sleeve, I began to form a grudge against it. As much as I like its refreshing orange color, and as much as I love the Tantus toys I’ve tried so far, I was immediately turned off by what was the bane of my existence for three years: tiny cell batteries.
When I worked at the sex shop, we tested all of our vibrators during checkout since we didn’t accept returns. To do this, we’d insert the batteries and cycle through the functions to make sure everything worked. Enter tiny batteries from hell.
Not only are the cell batteries that go into bullets and other toys generally annoying and often difficult to insert, they also have short lifespans. So sometimes when a vibe I tested didn’t work, it was because the cell batteries were dead, so I’d have to go get another. And another. Until finally I found one with functional batteries.
Seriously, those tiny cell batteries are what my sex toy clerk nightmares were made of. Nightmares that featured a line of grumpy customers, all with armfuls of bullets, finger vibes, and cock rings to be tested. To make matters worse, we were supposed to tell every customer that they should take the batteries out between every use in a sad attempt to make them last a little longer.
Despite my hatred for tiny bullets and cell batteries, I still wanted to like the Little Secrets Spoon. I love Tantus, it was my first orange toy (score!) and even though it’s a cell battery operated bullet, at least it’s covered in high quality, non-porous silicone. But it wasn’t meant to be.
The second strike for the Spoon was its lack of vibration settings. I’m not a big fan of pulsations, and I don’t need a lot of functions in a vibe, but I do need at least some kind of buildup of increasing power, unless the toy’s only setting(s) are jack-hammer strength, like the Hitachi. The Spoon only has one speed, and it’s disappointing.
Which leads us to the Spoon’s ultimate failure—it couldn’t get me off. The first few times I tried it, I became irritated by its lack of settings and power and ran for another vibe. In an attempt to be fair and give the toy a proper chance to get me off, I brought it with me on an out of town trip, without packing any other vibes. I was reading Best Women’s Erotica 2014, and I was so turned on I thought I might come without even touching myself….and it still couldn’t get me off.
It was the ultimate disappointment. In the heat of the moment, without any other options, I thought the silicone was dampening the vibration and maybe if I pulled off the sleeve, it would be stronger. After struggling to yank the thing off in an act of desperation, I was disappointed to find that it wasn’t any different. My clit was so annoyed by its buzzy and eventually numbing vibrations that I didn’t even bother to finish myself off with my fingers afterwards. (Read: I didn’t even want an orgasm after using it. Seriously.)
Ruining my orgasm was strike three– you’re OUT Little Secrets Spoon.
And I almost forgot to mention that the Little Secrets Spoon is described as a “g-spotter” toy. It’s too small, not curved enough, and not shaped to be a g-spot toy. No, no, no.
I can’t in good conscience recommend the Little Secrets Spoon. Even if you don’t need a lot of strength in a vibrator, the Spoon only has one speed, and it’s little batteries are bound to annoy you, and even though it’s sheathed in lovely orange Tantus silicone, under it all it’s still just a crappy little bullet vibe. If you’re looking for a quality clitoral vibe, I suggest the Lelo Mia or We-Vibe Tango instead.
Side note: The Spoon’s silicone sleeve fits over the We-Vibe Tango and transfers its vibration well, which is its one redeeming quality (assuming you have a Tango already.)
*Thanks Tantus for sending me the Little Secrets Spoon in exchange for my honest review! To read about some Tantus toys that did wow me, check out my Adam O2, Flurry O2, & Ryder reviews.
Feb 18, 2014
Pictured: Best Women’s Erotica 2014 opened to “Her Forest, Her Rules” by Laila Blake (another one of my favorites), bookmark/vibe: Lelo Mia