Category Archives: Products

7 sex toys I want to try in 2017

2016 was kind of a shit show, and I didn’t try as many new toys as I’d like, but here’s to hoping this year is better–let’s start with a list of the top 7 toys I’m dying to try in 2017!

1. B.J. Dildo–Some of you may know of or remember Mr. Man, a dildo with a hole through the shaft that creates clit suction during a dildo blow job. It’s been discontinued for years now, but I was lucky enough to try Epiphora‘s last year, and it was marvelous. I loved it so much that I had my partner try to recreate it by drilling a hole into one of my less used dildos, but sadly it didn’t pan out. But alas, there’s a new B.J. Dildo now! And it comes in a lovely green! Someone just buy me one and attach it to my clit now, please and thanks.

 

2. Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable–The fact that I don’t have one of these yet is a travesty. I am one of the BIGGEST Hitachi fans out there, and I think the only reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m kinda old school, and the ancient plug-in Hitachi is still my bae. But I would like to get with the times and be able to share the Hitachi’s glory with others (the rechargeable has a silicone head), or bring it camping (I don’t really camp but if I ever do Hitachi will definitely need to come), and just use the new one’s lower settings (or would I even? who knows.) Plus my Hitachi is getting kind of lonely and could use some company.

 

3. Hole Punch Rad-ish— I’ve been wanting to try something from Hole Punch for a while now, and I want it to be the rad-ish because I’m vegan af and want to collect all of the veggie sex toys (and because Piph said the Plugs Bunny is too long, and yea, it looks too long.) Is it ridiculous if I say my butt is hungry for the rad-ish?

 

4. Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble–I honestly don’t know if I could even handle this dildo but damn I want to try, especially after how much Kate and other friends have raved about it. And I need more glass in my collection! And more big toys so I can work my way up and hopefully be able to fit the huge dildo I made last year in my vagina someday.

 

5. L’Amourose Prism V— I was sent the similar Prism VII last year, and it’s rumbly and gorgeous, but I want the version without the clitoral arm and also want to compare the two. Plus I just want more L’Amourose toys because they’re amazing.

 

6. Leyland Rainbow Glitter Riding Crop–Ever since I saw Artemisia’s review (and photos, damn just go look now for eyegasms), I’ve wanted this crop. It’s synthetic/vegan friendly and it’s so damn pretty. And I used to have a crop years ago that I loved which got ruined and want to replace it. Plus rainbow sparkles!

 

7. Split Peaches Unicorn Horn— It’s a rainbow unicorn horn dildo. Need I say more?

Also, I didn’t include some toys I’m still lusting over from my 2015 list because I didn’t want to be repetitive but I SO SO SO still want the SeductionEleven, G-Spoon, & Shilo.

Which toys are you dying to try in 2017? Let me know in the comments!

 

My Etsy shop is open!

Hey y’all! Guess what?!

My Etsy shop, Penny’s Dirty Prints, is now open!

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There are only a few items listed right now, but I’ll add more listings over the next few weeks, so favorite my shop on Etsy or check back often to see updates! I’m planning on listing more prints in different sizes (including erotic/nudes), small framed prints, and possibly other goodies like jewelry, light covers, etc.

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I print all of the images myself with an Epson Stylus Pro printer on professional photo paper, and my photo coasters are hand made in small batches. I’m not sure how many photo coasters I’ll make, so if you’re in love with one, get it while you can!

If there’s an image you like on my blog that you don’t see listed as a print, contact me with details (which photo & size you want), and I’ll see if I can make a custom print/listing for you!

Here’s an example of one of my photo coasters that I gave Aerie during Dildo Holiday (Photo cred: Aerie!)

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If you have any suggestions for my shop, let me know in the comments!

*PS- My Patreon supporters get a discount at my shop!

15 sex toys I want to try in 2015

While I might not get to try all of these, I’d like to try at least half of them–wish me luck! Also, I’m constantly lusting after new toys–to see them all, check out my wishlist on Pinterest! Or, if you’re feeling super generous, you can buy me something anonymously through my Lovehoney wishlist!

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1. Neon Wand+Power Tripper– I can’t shut up about how much I want the Neon Wand. When I visited my best friend in LA, we played with one in three different sex shops. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a device that discharges static electricity, which depending on the intensity you set it to, can range from feeling like a warm tingle to a focused sting. When paired with the Power Tripper, it basically turns you into a human-e-stim (electrical stimulation) device, so that when you touch someone, you send sparks and tingles to their skin. Um. NEED.

Update 1/9–I got it!!! Check it out!

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2. L’Amourose Rosa Rouge– Ever since I read Dangerous Lilly’s rave review, I’ve been dying to get my hands on the Rosa Rogue, a waterproof rechargeable vibrator with powerful vibration that also warms up! Lilly is super picky about vibes, so if she loves it, I’m pretty sure I will too!

Update 2/21–I got it, and it rocks!!

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3. NobEssence Seduction– The fact that I don’t have a Seduction yet is a travesty. Epiphora has deemed it part of “the trifecta” of basically perfect, miraculous g-spotting dildos, along with the Pure Wand & Comet Wand (my 2 fave dildos!)…so obviously I need one in my vagina, like yesterday. Also, it’s made of gorgeous sealed wood, and I need something to match my Romp in photos!

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4. New York Toy Collective Shilo (Blue & Yellow)- I felt the Shilo when I was at the Pleasure Chest in LA last year, and its silicone was so squishy and fabulous. And just look at that juicy blue and yellow combo!

Update 6/21: I tried it at Dildo Holiday & now I want one even more!

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5. Fucking Sculptures G -Spoon (Medium)- I’ve lusted after FS dildos ever since they opened up shop, with their bad ass to the point name–FUCKING Sculptures–and their breathtaking glass designs…but it was Aerie’s review that really peaked my interest. In the review, Aerie says the G-Spoon helped them find their A-spot…an erogenous zone I’m not really familiar with. I love making new discoveries about my body, so I must try one, stat!

Update 6/21: I tried Aerie’s G Spoon at Dildo Holiday, and now I MUST HAVE ONE.

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6. Stronic Eins– This is another toy that I’m a bit ashamed to admit I don’t have yet. It uses magics (ok, magnets) that make the toy thrust itself back and forth! Piph loves it, and I’d really like to finally review one this year.

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7. MyStim Tickling Truman– The Tickling Truman is a vibrator that also has has e-stim, sort of like a neon wand for your vag! I need to know what the tingling sensations feel like!

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8. Njoy Eleven– The Njoy Eleven strikes equal parts fear and excitement in my vag…a 2″ girth and 2.75 lbs of stainless steel?! Can I do it?! I think I can! I have faith in the power of my vag.

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9. Crave Vesper– It’s a vibrator that’s also a necklace! Y’all know I would so wear it everywhere. I’ve also never tried a Crave toy and want to change that.

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10. Vixen Creations Randy– I’m addicted to Vixen’s squishy, realistic dual density VixSkin silicone and want to collect all of their dildos. Randy is at the top of my list though because it’s the girthiest one they make…it’s a beast that I want to conquer!

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11. Crystal Delights Pony Tail Plug– I want to be a pony! Look at those gorgeous pastels! Please goddess of dildos let it happen!

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12. Gorge Ohwell Silencing Slider Cheeseburger Gag–  The fact that this exists make me so fucking happy. A cheeseburger ball gag?! Made of 100% silicone? Please, put it in my mouth now! Update 12/8/16–Not into this anymore now that I’m vegan…time for someone to make a vegan version please with a veggie burger & a faux leather strap! 🙂

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13. Tantus Cush– I’ve heard great things about the Cush from Epiphora & Aerie, and I’m always down for more Tantus, so I’d love to try the Cush. And I don’t usually like pink toys…but this one looks like cotton candy, and I want to eat it. And use it. And photograph it with cotton candy. Please and thank you.

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14. We-Vibe Dusk– When Epiphora gushed about having real hands free orgasms with the Tango+Dusk, I was instantly convinced that I need one!

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15. BS Capsula Plug- I’m always down for more butt toys, and I’d love to try this unique pill shaped butt plug from the makers of the sock dildo!

What toys are y’all excited about trying in 2015? Did I miss any good ones? Please let me know in the comments!

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

A New Mona?!

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Today LELO released a new toy that everyone is talking about: the Mona Wave. Y’all already know that I (and practically everyone in the universe, it seems) love the Mona 2. The new Mona Wave features the same shape and basic design, but in addition to its amazing vibration, it provides a “come hither,” finger-like motion that is supposed to provide even better, stronger G-spot orgasms.

LELO also released the Ina Wave today, which features the same motion but with an attached clitoral portion, like the Ina 2.

Here is LELO’s description of the new Mona Wave:

THE FIRST G-SPOT MASSAGER THAT SURGES AND PLUNGES WITHIN YOU

Surrender to wave upon wave of intense sensations, with the world’s first G-Spot stimulator that truly massages you internally. With its voluptuous form and beckoning ‘come-hither’ finger-like motion, MONA Wave not only takes you to the limits of pleasure, but pushes you over the edge to a whole new world. All of this in a sleek, 100% silicone design that is both rechargeable and waterproof, with 10 vibration settings that will leave you gasping for more.

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Will the Mona Wave be even better than the original Mona? Maybe just different? Or will it be another gimmicky Smart Bead or Ida? My review will be up within the next week, so stay tuned to find out!

Sex Toy Black Friday Weekend Sales!

Great news, y’all! You can stock up on holiday gifts (and goodies for yourself!) with these ridiculously awesome Black Friday Deals! Avoid the Black Friday madness…and get toys for cheap!

I’ve collected the best deals from my fave toy makers & stores to make your shopping quicker and easier:

Tantus

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Exclusive sale! Use code PENNY40 at check out to get 40% off of 3 of my fave toys from Tantus: the Splash (my review), Juice, &/or Ryder (my review)!

There are also a bunch of great sales on the Tantus Black Friday page, but here are some of my favorites:

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Get 30% off when you get a dual density toy & a vibrating harness! My favorites are the Adam O2 (my review) & Flurry O2 (my review), but I’ve heard great things about the Cush O2 (pictured) as well!

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Get 40% off when you get a paddle (like the awesome Plunge) & gag!

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Space Toys starting at only $35.99! I have never seen these discounted this much before because everyone loves the colors–get one (or all!) now while you can!

As always, you can get an extra 15% off of your purchase with code PENNY at checkout!* Also, free US Shipping with purchases over $100, & Free International Shipping for purchases over $200!

*You can only use one discount code at a time, so either PENNY 40 for Splash/Juice/Ryder or PENNY for 15% off of everything.

(Sales end Dec 1, 11:59pm PST)

SheVibe

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For Black Friday weekend, SheVibe is offering 10% off of orders $75 or more (code TURKEY10), 15% off of orders $100 or more (TURKEY15), & 20% off of orders of $125 or more (TURKEY20)!

Here are some of my fave toys/deals:

Pure Wand for $84.99 with code TURKEY15!

Comet for $71.99 with code TURKEY10!

Buck for $84.99 with code TURKEY15! (My review)

Mona for $103.99 with code TURKEY20! (My review)

Tango for $71.99 with code TURKEY10!

Touch for $84.99 with code TURKEY10!

Romp for $90.94 with code TURKEY15! (My review)

Eroscillator Top Deluxe Soft Finger Combo for $183.96 with code TURKEY20! (My review)

Or, mix & match items for savings! Some other faves are the Magic Wand (my review), Bootie (my review), & the Bettie Page Spanking Bat (my review).

LELO

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Get 20% off of your purchase from Lelo (even on LUXE products) & free shipping with code PENNY1!

This is your chance to get some of my favorites like the Mona (my review), Luna Beads (my review), or the Mia (my review) for less!

Lelo is also offering a free bottle of lube with all purchases over $100!

(Sale ends Monday 1st Dec. 11.59pm)

Lovehoney

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Get a free bottle of my favorite lube, Sliquid H2O (worth $12.99) when you spend $40 or more at Lovehoney!

Also–get 25% off your purchase of $80 or more from Lovehoney, plus free shipping! To have the discount applied just go here, and it will be applied automatically!

See my favorites from Lovehoney on my landing page!

Best deal: Touch for $84.74!

Or mix and match to make an $80 spend & get these deals:

Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls for $20.24! (my review)

Under the Bed Restraint Gear for $41.24! (my review)

Bettie Page Spanking Bat for $44.99! (my review)

Vixskin Tex for only $52.50! If you want one snag it now because there are only a few left!

Fleshlight

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Get select Fleshlight Sex in the Can masturbators for only $25! That’s a steal, y’all!

Fleshlight is also offering a free 8 oz. Fire & Ice Lube Pack and Shower Mount with Flight Adapter (a $73.85 value) when you spend $90.00 or more, or a free 8 oz. Fire & Ice Lube Pack, Shower Mount with Flight Adapter, and Free Fleshlight LaunchPAD (a $103.85 value) when you spend $150.00 or more! Fleshlight Girls Sleeves are also buy 2 get 1 free through November 30th!

Sliquid

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Get 15% off of anything from my favorite lube company, Sliquid! You can also use my exclusive code DIRTYTHOUGHTS for an extra 10% off of your order!

My faves are Sassy & H2O!

Introducing the Lelo LUNA Smart Bead™

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Today Lelo released a new product: the LUNA Smart Bead™: Your Personal Pleasure Trainer.

What is the LUNA Smart Bead™?

Meet the LUNA Smart Bead™, your very own personal pleasure trainer! With touch-sensors that respond to your every squeeze, the LUNA Smart Bead™ tailors a Kegel Exercising routine that is right for you. Simply progress through its 5 vibration-guided levels as it automatically updates to match the strength of your pelvic floor. Regular use will have you enjoying even longer and stronger orgasms in no time.

So basically, it’s supposed to function as a personal trainer for your vag!

Having strong PC muscles is vital to having strong orgasms, since orgasms are basically rhythmic muscle contractions. While you can do Kegel exercises on your own by simply doing reps of squeezing and relaxing or by wearing Kegel balls like the Luna Beads as you move around,  I love the idea of a product that helps you follow a workout routine, so I’m excited to be one of the first to try out the LUNA Smart Bead™.

Stay tuned for my review to learn more about how the  LUNA Smart Bead™ works as well as my experience with it! (It should be up within a week.)

Butt Toy Sales Galore!

Can y’all believe it’s already October? I am super excited to have an excuse to take more creepy nudes and watch scary movies…

There are a bunch of new sex toy sales for October too, and the theme this month is butt toys galore!

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Right now you can get 25% off Tantus plugs with code CHEEKY at checkout! (Excludes the already discounted Grab Bag toys.) This is a great opportunity to get some of the plugs that aren’t offered cheaper through the Grab Bag for less, like the Juice (review upcoming but I enjoy mine & the base is super comfy!), and the Neo, which is very similar and I’ve heard is awesome too!

What’s on my wishlist as far as plugs? Definitely Neo because I want to see how it compares to Juice, and also the Meteorite & Asteroid…mainly because of the fun colors! 🙂

Update 10/3: Tantus released a new plug today! I haven’t tried yet, but it looks like a great beginner plug!

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And of course, don’t forget about Grab Bag & Limited Edition/Closeout toys, which are always a great deal as well.

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Right now Tantus is also offering FREE SHIPPING for US orders $100 & up as well as International orders $200 & up! Tantus shipping isn’t cheap, so this is awesome deal, y’all!

 

Wondering what new Tantus I have on the way? I just ordered the Alumina Motion (an aluminum dildo that’s been discontinued so get it while you can), & a Grab Bag Ripple.

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Get your silicone butt toy fix from Tantus…and your glass/ceramic fix for 10% off from SheVibe! (Through 10/21.) If you’ve wanted a Crystal Delights Plug like mine, now’s the time! So get a classic plug, a Hello Kitty plug, a magnetic bunny tail plug, or a pony tail plug for less!

What’s on my wishlist for Crystal Delights? All of the plugs I mentioned above besides the classic (because I have one)…and also the Pineapple Plug! I also have yet to try a ceramic plug, but they also seem intriguing.

Other Miscellaneous sales:

Lovehoney always has stuff on sale– the Tease Me Paddle is on sale for only $20, and they also have some glass & silicone toys on sale for super cheap. See all sales going on right now here!

Also, you can now see ongoing sales on my Pinterest board!

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Happy October everyone! As always if you have any questions about what toys to buy, shoot me an email! (pennyforyourdirtythoughts [at] gmail [dot] com.)

Tantus Sales Galore!

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If you’ve been eyeing some dildos from Tantus, now is the time to get them because throughout September, you can get 25% off ALL DILDOS with code FIERCE!

What should you get?

I’d definitely snag something from their O2 line of dual density dildos since they are never available through the Grab Bag sale. I love both Adam (my review) & Flurry (my review.) I’ve also heard great things about/am dying to try the Splash and Cush.

Besides the O2 line, Tantus has a bunch of other rad dildos, like dildos with handles, dildos for pegging, and more!

Also, you can always get 15% off of anything store wide at Tantus with code PENNY at checkout!

 

And not only are all Tantus dildos on sale this month…ALL Tantus items are also 15% off at SheVibe through September 9th!

What should you get? Since Tantus dildos are on sale through Tantus this month, you could get a butt plug or one of their awesome paddles or harnesses instead…though you can actually get my fave Tantus dildos, Adam, for only $67.99 right now! (It’s usually $108.54!)

And if all that wasn’t enough, Tantus still has a bunch of toys available for cheap in their Grab Bag and Closeout sections! You might get a plain color…but you might get a unique dildo masterpiece!

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Dildos for all!

 

 

15% off of Lelo at SheVibe!

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I don’t post about sales super often, but this is a great deal! Now through August 19, SheVibe is offering 15% off of select Lelo items!

What should you get?

If you have a vag & don’t have kegel balls yet (or don’t have good ones) get yourself some Luna beads, stat. They’re a staple, and they’re only $33.99 right now. The Noir are also on sale for $28.04.

Next up: Mona. The Mona has a cult following. Seriously, people worship it. The fact that I don’t have a Mona yet is shameful. I need one. I want one. I am incomplete. The only thing stopping me from buying one right now is the fact that I still need to buy a plane ticket back from LA. And on that note, if anyone wants to buy me one… 😉

Another Lelo toy that’s perfect for travel is Mia, a lipstick vibe that charges via a USB inside of the toy (neat, right?) It’s not the most powerful bullet, but it’s strong enough to work for me and helped me survive a month without my sex toy collection in Barcelona. Right now you can get one for $56.09.

Other options:

I’ve been lusting after the Smart Wand Large for quite some time now.

The Ella is a great option for beginner’s g-spot play.

The Gigi‘s not bad, but I’d gladly trade mine for a Mona.

The Hula Beads look intriguing.

You could always get the Ida if you need to break up with someone but don’t have the guts to tell them (just kidding, that’s fucked up.)

Lelo also makes a rechargeable, vibrating cock ring, silk blindfolds, a remote controlled egg vibe,  an $8,000 vibrator and more.

*If you do buy something from SheVibe, please do so through my links to help support my blog. Many thanks! Also, feel free to let me know what you think about the toys you try!