Category Archives: Sex Toy Info

Buying a Sex Toy: What You Need to Know

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The Story of my 1st “Sex Toy”

I shudder in horror when I remember my first real sex toy. Now that I know more about toys, I realize the first one I used internally possibly leaked phthalates and poisonous chemicals into my body. I was 18, I knew nothing about sex toys, and my boyfriend said he wanted to buy me a toy that was less than $50. I honestly can’t remember why we chose the ugly blue Ultimate Beaver.  I didn’t see or smell the toy before I purchased it, and the girl at the register gave me no opinion on my choice. Even if she knew it was gross, I don’t think she was allowed to say anything to me about the quality of the toy since this was way before the Sex Toy Ban in Texas was lifted (meaning sex toys were still only sold for “educational” purposes and were not acknowledged as actual sex toys.)

Luckily, I only used the toy once since I didn’t like how it felt and was grossed out by the material, and I ended up throwing it away. Afterwards, I stuck with my trusty plug-in “back massager” and was turned off of internal sex toys for a very long time. I eventually got a job at a lingerie/sex toy store, and for the past 3 years I’ve done my best to help people choose sex toys that will work for them and are safe to use, hoping to help others avoid my negative experience.  Fortunately there are many more safe toys on the market today than when I bought my first sex toy, but the Ultimate Beaver, as well as countless other potentially unsafe jelly toys, are still sold on the internet and in some adult shops.

Since there are various types of sex toy materials (glass, silicone, rubber, etc.) as well as numerous sub-types within each category (jelly rubber, thermoplastic rubber, “realistic” rubber etc.) learning about toy materials can be confusing at first. To simplify, I’ll begin by explaining the best options for safe, hygienic sex toy materials.

Non-porous Toys

I strongly recommend choosing a sex toy material that is non-porous, such as pure silicone, glass, metal, ceramic, or hard plastic, especially if it is for internal use or for use with multiple partners. If a toy material is non-porous, that means it is easy to clean and sterilize, and it doesn’t have tiny pores in the material that can retain bacteria and possibly cause or transfer infections. Non-porous toys can be cleaned with unscented antibacterial soap and water or a 10% bleach 90% water solution. After cleaning the toy, rinse it well with water or a wet cloth to remove all cleaning solution. Some non-porous toys such as pure silicone can also be sterilized by boiling for 2-3 minutes or by running them in the dishwasher (on the top shelf, with no soap.) For more specifics on sex toy care and maintenance, check out this article.

If you decide to invest in a high quality nonporous sex toy, you’ll want to make sure that you are in fact buying what you really want—a high quality nonporous toy. Often sex toy companies label toys as silicone when they aren’t pure silicone and are actually something else, such as a silicone-elastomer (porous) blend. To avoid purchasing a misleadingly labeled “silicone” toy, buy a silicone toy from a trustworthy manufacturer and keep in mind that pure silicone toys should always be opaque and odor-free.  If you aren’t sure if your toy is pure silicone, you can find out by performing a flame test. To view some examples of mislabeled silicone toys and to learn how to do a flame test, check out this article.

Stay Away from Phthalates

If you purchase a toy material that is porous (anything besides pure silicone, glass, metal, wood, ceramic, or hard plastic), the most important factor to consider is whether or not it contains harmful chemicals and or phthalates. Phthalates are esters of phthalic acid used to soften plastics and are commonly found in jelly, PVC, rubber, and latex sex toys. Toy materials that contain phthalates have a horrible odor, are often oily, and can potentially damage organs and cause cancer. To learn specifics about the harmful chemicals and phthalates in toys, read Dangerous Lilly’s Dangers of Jelly Sex Toys and Phthalates in Sex Toys. I strongly recommend avoiding these types of toys, but if you do use one, put a condom over it.

Porous Toys: Phthalate Free Materials

While non-porous toys are the most hygienic option, there are also some porous materials that are more durable than jelly/rubber toys and usually have little or no gross chemical smell. TPR, TPE, Elastomer, and silicone/TPR/TPE blends are porous but usually phthalate free. There are also some versions of TPR and TPE that are “medical grade” and non-porous, but if you aren’t sure, assume they’re porous. While these toys are safer than jelly toys, they can’t be sterilized and shouldn’t be shared with multiple partners. If you want to use a toy with one of these materials but are concerned about the porous aspect, use a condom or toy cover to help prevent bacteria build-up and infection.

Note: This is meant to be a general guide when considering what material to choose for your sex toy purchase; it is not an all inclusive detailed description of every possible material on the market. Within each material category (silicone, glass, rubber, realistic etc.), there are many different types of varying quality, and I recommend looking into/asking questions about your specific toy if you have any doubts about its safety or quality.

Roundup of Helpful Sex Toy Materials Links:

Dangerous Lilly:

Sex Toy Care and Maintenance
Dangers of Jelly Sex Toys
Phthalates in Sex Toys
Silicone Sex Toy Facts
Glass Sex Toy Facts
Flame Testing Silicone Sex Toys

Violet Blue:

Unsafe Sex Products and Toys – Consumer Beware

Jo Class

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Do you leave work meetings with a bag full of bottles of lube? I do.

In my latest training class, Jennifer from System Jo told us about the company and its products, answered our questions, and had us feel and sometimes taste various lubricants.  For anyone who is curious about Jo products (and for my coworker who couldn’t make it to the meeting), I would like to share what I learned in Jo class. Please note that this post is not meant to be my personal endorsement of all of the following products, if you want to know more about what I think about them, check back on my blog for individual product reviews that I will post as I try all of the products.

Jo’s beginning
The Jo product line began when a group of doctors asked United Consortium (a nutra-ceutical company) to create a pharmaceutical grade silicone lubricant for women with extreme vaginal dryness.
Jo Premium Silicone Lubricants
-Silicone lubricant is made from sand.
-Not all silicone lubes are created equal; it is important to choose a high quality silicone lubricant.
-Jo Premium is a high quality pharmaceutical grade silicone lubricant
-Evolved Novelties did studies on silicone lube and silicone toy compatibility, and Jo silicone lubes were the only lubricants that did not damage their silicone toys. People who want to use silicone toys and lubes together can use Jo silicone lubes and Evolved (or Tantus) silicone toys (I can vouch for this as well; read my blog about it for more information). There have not been tests on the compatibility of Jo silicone lube with other brands of silicone toys (so don’t mix them unless you want to take the risk of ruining your silicone toy.)
-Other possible uses for silicone lubes: hair smoother, shave cream, skin conditioner, WD 40 replacement
Jo H20 Water Based Lubricants
-Jo H20 water based lubes are designed to be long lasting and feel like silicone
-Jo H20 does contain glycerin but only vegetable based glycerin, which is less likely to be irritating to women than animal based glycerin. If you have a glycerin sensitivity, try Jo’s Agape mentioned below.
Jo Agape Lubricant
-“Agape” means unconditional love in Greek.
-Jo Agape water based lube was created without glycerin, silicone, or oil for sensitive women.
Jo Hybrid Lubricant
-Jo Hybrid Lubricant was designed to combine the best qualities of both silicone and water based lubes so that it is smooth and long lasting like silicone but easy to wash off like water based.
-Jennifer said Hybrid is ok to use with silicone toys.  I am still a little weary of that, to be safe you could try a patch test on the silicone toy you want to use it with.
Jo Lubes’ various viscosities
-The difference between Jo regular lubes, Jo Anal lubes, and Jo Women lubes are their viscosities.
-Jo Women has the thinnest viscosity and is meant to mimic a women’s natural lubricant.
-Classic Jo Premium and H20 lubes have a thicker viscosity than Jo Women.
- Jo Anal Lubes have the thickest viscosity since the anal area doesn’t self lubricate.
Jo Warming and Cooling
-All of the Jo water based and silicone lubes come in both warming and cooling as well.
-The cooling agent in Jo cooling lubes is French Menthol.
-The warming agent in Jo warming lubes is capsaicin (from chili peppers.)
Jo Clitoral and G Spot Gels

- The Jo Clitoral gels are warming and the g spot gels are cooling, but you can use them interchangeably if desired.
-Neither contains L-Arginine, which can cause breakouts in people with Herpes.
Jo H20 Flavored Lubes
- Jo flavored lubes come in a variety of flavors and don’t contain any sugar which can cause yeast infections.
Jo All in One
-Jo All in One can be used as any or all of the following: a silicone lube, massage oil, skin conditioner.
-Comes in a variety of scents (my favorite was Cranberry.)
Jo Foaming Toy Cleanser

-A gentle, body safe foaming cleanser
Jo Pheromone Sprays and Deodorants
-Jo Pheromones are man made
-There are 3 ways to get natural pheromones: from humans (extremely expensive), from pigs (gross), or from coyote urine (grosser)
-Jo Pheromone sprays and deodorants do not have a scent because scents water down the effect of the pheromones when formulated together
-You can layer Jo Pheromones with your normal scents by putting on your normal deodorant or perfume after applying Jo Pheromone deodorant or spray
-Jo Pheromones for Men are the same as Jo Women+Women (but with different packaging)
-Jo Pheromones for Women are the same as Jo Men+Men
-If you want to attract both sexes, you can wear both Jo Women and Jo Men at the same time
Jo Natural Personal Feminine Spray
-For external use only, not a douche
-Meant to help control odor and moisture
-Formulated to help keep women’s pH balance at a normal level
Jo Body Shaving Cream
-Has alcohol to reduce hair growth
-Not a conditioner like many other shave gels (conditioners promote hair growth)
Jo 2 to Tango
-2 lubes that mix together
-The “men’s” lube is a warming, water based lube with some benzocaine for prolonging
-The “women’s” lube is a cooling, silicone based lube
Jo Prolonger Spray
-Contains benzocaine, a numbing agent for prolonging
-Since it is a spray it absorbs quickly so it doesn’t also numb your partner
-No need to rub it in like with a prolonging creamPhotos ©Penny

Meant for Each Other: For Silicone Lovers

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          Lots of people are die hard silicone fans and for good reason. Silicone is a kick ass material for toys because it is extremely hygienic because it’s nonporous (meaning germs etc. can’t build up inside the material), and it’s soft and smooth yet firm and flexible. It can also endure extreme temperatures (so you can boil it to kill germs if it doesn’t have an attached motor) and it warms quickly to your body temperature. Silicone lube has quite a following as well because it never loses its’ slick, slippery feel. It doesn’t get sticky and tacky like water based lube, you only need a small amount, and you don’t have to keep reapplying it, so it’s an awesome aid to water play and anal play among other things. So instinctively you’d think, well I’ll just use silicone lube with silicone toys then because of their super awesomeness, but if you do you’ll be sorely disappointed. Unfortunately if you use silicone lube with your favorite silicone toy, chances are the toy/lube will start to sort of melt and mesh together, creating a big mess and a ruined toy (and silicone toys are expensive!)         
          However, I recently learned an awesome tip at a product knowledge seminar: you can use certain silicone toys with certain silicone lubes. In particular, you can use Evolved brand silicone toys with Jo brand silicone lubes (it has something to do with the quality of the silicone in the materials.) I decided to test out this claim at home with some of the free sample products I received and was delighted to find it true. I used the Evolved Lucky 13 Roulette vibe with Jo Premium Cool silicone lube, and they are definitely a match made in heaven. Both products were great for shower play because the Lucky 13 is waterproof (as are all Evolved toys), the silicone lube never lost the slippery feel even under water, and the cooling effect felt great in contrast to the warm water. The only disadvantage to using these toys together was that the cleanup afterwards took a few minutes longer than normal. At first I tried just using soap and warm water like I usually do, but the silicone did not come off this way, so I squirted Jo foaming toy cleaner on a towel and wiped down the toy a few times and then used the soap and water as well, and that worked just fine.
So, for all you silicone lovers out there, I hope this little tip helps; it sure helped me!

+             = Meant for Each Other