I wouldn’t have chosen a crotchless style if given the option–I like cute panties because they’re like wrapping paper for my vulva, something pretty to conceal and tease, so what’s the point of having an open crotch when I could just take them off…or be naked? But all of the Lovehoney panties were crotchless when they first came out, so I figured I’d give them a shot.
The Lovehoney panties are made of black spandex, with an opaque front, lacy butt panel, ruffle detail, and a crotch hole cut out. When I wear them, my vaginal opening and a little bit of my long inner labia is exposed, but the rest of my vulva is covered. This translates to them not being that comfortable to wear while out and about because my labia catches on the hole as I walk.
What these panties are great for though, is teasing and sex. I love the extra-cheekiness of the lace cut out, and my partner loves having my vulva accessible even with the panties on. They normally cover my clit, but Jake was able to gain clit access and give me oral while wearing them by pulling them up a bit.
The first thing I wondered when I got the panties was, can you actually have penetrative sex while wearing them? And the answer for me, is yes, yes you can! They worked for oral, fingering, and we even tried them once for P-I-V sex, and it actually felt really good to be a little constricted by the panties, with subtle pressure on my outer labia. Jake could feel them rubbing a little in certain positions, but not so much that we bothered to take them off. The crotch hole was a little stretched out after but not ruined.
The biggest complaint I have about these panties is the (lack of) sizing options. When they first came out, there were only two options: Small/Medium, which claims to fit dress size 6-8, and Medium/Large, which claims to fit dress size 10-12. I wasn’t sure which I should go with, since I wear medium panties, but I had a feeling they would run small, so I chose M/L.
I was right, they do run small, which isn’t really a surprise considering the S/M fits well on the Lovehoney model, who they say is a size 4 with 35″ hips. So why does it say they’ll fit a size 6-8? They stretch a little, but not that much. Since I received mine, Lovehoney has added another larger size: L/XL. But they run small and still don’t offer anything above “L/XL”, so that means the sizing options here are very limited, and that’s a shame.
Overall, I’ve enjoyed wearing the Lovehoney Crotchless Cutout panties–I just wish they’d add more size options so more people could enjoy them.
Ola was the first of Minna’s vibrators with squeeze technology. You may remember from my review of Minna’s second vibrator, the Limon, the basic idea behind it–you control the toy’s vibration strength by how hard you squeeze, which allows you to create your own vibration patterns.
Limon and Ola are similar–they’re both silicone, rechargeable, and feature customizable vibration–the main difference is their shape–Limon is a small, round vibrator that resembles a lemon, and Ola features a squeeze-pad handle and a hard, insertable shaft1. I’m not a big fan of internal vibration, but I requested Ola to review for clitoral use because one of my main complaints with Limon is that it’s difficult to hold.
In that respect, Ola is better–it’s easier to hold and squeeze, so it’s much easier to use paired with dildos than the Limon, which is a big win. I enjoy creating my own teasing patterns–I tend to start with low vibration, gradually increase it, and then pull back right as I feel super turned on, and then lock that pattern and use it to tease myself until I come–I’ve had some pretty awesome orgasms like that because my arousal builds gradually.
The thing about Ola’s squeeze technology though (and Limon’s) is that I have to put some effort and thought into creating the pattern before I can enjoy it. I have to make sure I’m on the right setting to record the pattern (Record Mode), then create it, and then press the lock button so that it saves the pattern (Lock Mode), and the slightest touch of the pad between recording and locking can ruin everything. I want to relax and orgasm with as little effort as possible, so this whole process is pain. It would be awesome if Ola allowed you to save vibration patterns, but sadly, that’s not a feature.
As cool as the customizable vibration patterns are, Ola and Limon would also be SO much better if they had steady vibration settings. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a hand cramp from trying to squeeze it as hard as possible when my orgasm is close. Sure, you can hack it and create a steady pattern, but I never think of that ahead of time.
Ola has a good range of vibration, from a light tickle to moderately strong–it’s a little less powerful than Mona. Using Ola’s vibration patterns to build arousal can make me come–but I’m greedy. I don’t just want one orgasm, I want 2 or 3. And when I’ve had one orgasm with teasing, I often end up squeezing Ola as hard as possible because I want to have another orgasm with steady vibration. And stripped of its fancy patterns, my clit just wishes Ola was stronger and rumblier.
Although my g-spot doesn’t usually like vibration, I tried Ola vaginally anyways because I’m still on the lookout for a vibe that my g-spot will love, and I could potentially enjoy Ola’s shape. But it just wasn’t meant to be–Ola provides the best stimulation flipped so that the shaft curves up against my g-spot, but using it that way means the squeeze pad/handle is pointed away from me at an awkward angle, which makes it difficult to thrust. And with so many otheramazingg-spottoys, why bother?
So, should you get Ola? If you’re really intrigued by the idea of creating your own vibration patterns, don’t need a ton of power, and don’t necessarily need steady vibration, then yes. I recommend it over Limon because it’s easier to hold, and there’s at least potential for internal stimulation.
Minna is definitely on to something with their squeeze technology, and I wish I could wholeheartedly recommend Ola. With some improvements–steady vibration settings, the ability to save vibration patterns, and stronger and rumblier vibration, I bet it could hang along with some of the bestvibratorsout there.
I already told y’all a little about how we got to make our own glass dildos at Dildo Holiday, but I also want to share some of the behind the scenes photos.
First, we checked out where the magic happens, exploring the studio and looking at various glass pieces.
Piph went first–Kelly helped her make a swirly textured, curved turquoise dildo.
Piph’s came out a little smaller than she wanted, so I asked Kelly to make mine bigger (it came out WAY bigger.) I chose orange and turquoise and wanted a curved dildo with two bulbous ends and some texture.
All of the photos of me/my dildo were captured by Kate.
I also captured some shots of Bex, Aerie, & Kate making their pieces. Otto helped Aerie make their creation and did an awesome job of explaining the process.Kate created a flower pattern in her dildo–fancy!Behold, the birth of seven new glass dildo beauties into the world!
1- Reenie 2- Aerie 3-Girly Juice 4- Me 5- Kate 6- Bex 7- Epiphora
We had a guessing game on social media to see if anyone could guess them all right. Some people guessed a few right, and Panda got them all! My partner also guessed mine right, and so did a friend of mine. My partner said he guessed based on the colors and shape, and my friend said he knew because “it kinda looks like the blue one that’s your favorite.” I’m pretty sure the fact that my friends know my taste in dildos means I’ve succeeded in life.
Thanks so much to our fabulous sponsors Tantus & We-Vibe–our glass dildo dreams wouldn’t have come true without you!
What was Dildo Holiday, you might ask? It was an epic joining of 7 sex bloggers (Epiphora, Aerie, Bex, Kate, Reenie, Girly Juice, & I) in a fabulous place on the coast of Oregon called Dildo Manor. We came together to share knowledge, dildos, and laughs, and we left with countless memories (and more dildos.) Since it would be nearly impossible for me to recount all of the fabulous moments, here are 10 of my favorite things from the trip.
1. Devil’s Point
Photo by Aerie
I’ve been to the strip club plenty of times, but never with a group of babes. We got there early and sat up front and watched beautiful tattooed dancers do amazing things with their bodies, and I got a private dance from a dancer named Pixie who looked like a combination of Jennifer Lawrence and Stoya. It was our first night all together, and we bonded over drinks and vulvae. Oh, and some dudes called us “rich girls” because how dare we sit up front and capture the attention of the dancers by tipping an appropriate amount. Move along, bro.
2. Cherub of Shame
Cherub of Shame trying to stop Piph from getting her Hitachi
If you were following the #dildoholiday hashtag, you probably noticed a creepy baby/angel/mermaid statue sucking its thumb called Cherub of Shame. Long story short, we noticed it was watching us when we first arrived at Dildo Manor, and then it kept appearing in random places throughout the house, as if it were alive. Piph first noticed it disapproved of our shenanigans when it tried to block her from going upstairs to grab her Hitachi during porn night, and it went downhill from there. The cherub appeared in the fridge, on the toilet, tucked in Kate’s bed, staring at us eerily from the bathroom, always watching, judging. I bet it misses us heathens though.
How can you go wrong watching an amazing selection of indie porn curated by Kate, surrounded by babely sex bloggers? We watched hot porn that didn’t show any genitals, porn with great communication, and porn with people getting fucked by doll’s legs. We all moaned in unison when Wolf Hudson and Danny Wylde kissed in My Own Master, we cheered on Jiz Lee’s rimming skills during Justify My Jiz, and we were amazed/inspired by the fact that Annie Sprinkle was squirting before any of us were even born. Oh, and we cuddled/live tweeted/had casual orgasms throughout, no big deal.
The first night in Dildo Manor, Epiphora let me borrow her Hitachi rechargeable during porn night. Then we kissed and went to my room, and I fingered her until the sun came up and my fingers were pruny, and she was so soft and smelled amazing and made the sexiest sounds, and it was unforgettable. Throughout Dildo Holiday, I was both a bit of an exhibitionist and a voyeur, I squirted alongside Bex (sharing porn like a textbook, like you do), I got spanked, and I was part of an epic group masturbation session during which I tried/fell in love with Aerie’s G Spoon and Kate’s glass dildo, Lil Bloomer.
5. Making our own glass dildos
Me making my glass dildo! Photo by Kate Sinclaire
Epiphora, Aerie, & Bex told us there would be a super secret surprise. They warned us that it might get hot and to wear closed toed shoes. Are we going hiking? On a boat? How is this dildo related? We were hella confused. But it all made sense when we pulled up into a parking lot, and I spotted a sign that read “Blow Your Own Glass.”
We each decided on colors and general shapes, and the artists did their best to create what we had in mind. Each of our dildos is unique to our preferences, but there was a common theme–more curve! I love the color and shape of mine…but it’s a little bigger (ok a lot bit bigger) than I intended, and I have yet to actually get it to fit in my vagina (but Kate did! So there’s hope.) We had a guessing game going on social media as to whose was whose…and Dildo PsychicPanda Sauce actually got them all right! Also, my partner/a dude friend of mine both guessed mine correctly–I was super impressed!
See more of my glass dildo making photos in this post!
The results: gorgeous glass dildos!
A huge thanks to our sponsors Tantus & We-Vibe–we wouldn’t have been able to do it without them!
6. Teaching the photography workshop
Photo of me by Kate Sinclaire
I don’t think I’d ever actually been excited about a PowerPoint until I made one for the how to take beautiful dildo photos workshop that Kate & I hosted. I’d also never really taught others about photography…and I realized I really enjoy it–I was so proud when Reenie captured a gorgeously composed shot, and when I showed Piph the magic of Lightroom. After the workshop, everyone suggested I offer a Photography for Sex Bloggers course, so stay tuned for details on that!
8. Telephone Pictionary- Sex Blogger EditionWhen sex bloggers get together and play telephone pictionary (aka Eat Poop You Cat), ridiculous things happen. Somehow “double penetration” becomes “very confused genital person whose parts have been replaced with a coat hanger” and “sharing porn like sharing a textbook” turns into “pregnant people looking at a farmer’s butt while the farmer looks at a painting of a cat wearing a butt plug.” We laughed until we cried (and snorted.)
What did we do on the last day that everyone was together in Portland? We ordered a ridiculous amount of pizza, curled up together in Piph’s basement, watchedmocked 50 Shades of Grey, and rode the infamous Sybian, of course–Girly Juice even managed to do all 3 simultaneously. As if it could get any better, Piph’s adorable cat Chowder did a round of lap-sitting while we watched.
A huge thanks to SheVibe, our generous food sponsor!
10. The People
Epic matching sex toys/tattoos photo, captured by Kate
The L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a swanky vibrator, with its jewel motif, soft silicone, and sleek design and packaging. If Gatsby hosted orgies, Rosas would be as abundant as champagne and lacy panties. The Rosa Rouge arouses me before I even turn on its vibration, and I’m not just talking about its drool worthy aesthetic.
What is this sorcery?
The Rosa Rogue isn’t just a vibrator… it’s a heating vibrator. It kind of feels like I’m masturbating with hot lava, but in the best way. It’s like a little spa treatment for my clit. A clit sauna. A little private sunny island vacay for my vulva…with orgasms instead of Mai Tais.
Since there are so many vibrators on the market these days, companies are constantly trying to come up with novel features to keep people interested. There are vibes that are suppossed to act like fingers, vibes meant to mimic oral, vibes that look like aliens…and I’m all for variety, but often these toys are just gimmicky and would be better off with a more basic design.
But Rosa Rogue’s heating is definitely not a gimmick. Oh man, I love it. If I put it on my clit for the few minutes it takes to heat up to 104-107 degrees1, I get super aroused, and by the time it’s warmed up, my clit is ready to party, and its rumbly vibration is heavenly. It’s not quite as strong and rumbly as Tango, but it can still hang, even with die hard Tango fans.
Other things I love about Rosa: it’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, lockable for travel, and it comes with an 18 month warranty. The charger base also rocks–it’s super easy to use, and it’s obvious when it’s done charging.
So far I’ve mentioned that my clit loves Rosa’s heating and vibration. Specifically, the shaft’s vibration. But Rosa is also designed to be a dual stimulator–the shaft is curved for g-spot vibration and the base is meant for simultaneous clitoral stimulation…but Rosa doesn’t work for me that way.
Rosa’s shaft provides deep, rumbly vibrations (hell yes!), while the base’s vibrations are less powerful and buzzier (sad face.) So when I insert Rosa’s shaft and use it as intended, my clit is underwhelmed by the base’s weaker vibration. My g-spot gets all of the strong rumblies, but my g-spot doesn’t need vibration, it needs pressure and/or thrusting, which Rosa’s flexible shaft can’t provide adequately… so neither my clit nor my g-spot are satisfied.
Other than the base not working out well for me and the flexible shaft, the main complaint I have with Rosa is the controls. Since they’re tiny and embedded in the silicone, they’re really difficult to see and control, and Rosa definitely needs an easy off button.2
So, the ultimate question here is, should you drop $240 on the Rosa Rouge? Is it worth it?
My g-spot says no. My wallet says hells no. But my clit says yassss!
For Rosa to be absolutely perfect and totally worth the hefty price tag for me, it would need to have a firmer shaft, easier to find buttons, and it would probably need to bring me coffee and/or pizza and cuddle with me while watching Buffy. But if you like powerful, rumbly vibrations, think you’ll enjoy the heating feature, and have an extra $240 lying around to invest in quality orgasms, Rosa is still a solid choice as is.
If you’re not interested in heating, there’s also the plain Rosa (available in emerald, cerise, and black) for $180. If both Rosa Rouge and plain Rosa are way out of your price range and you still want a strong petite vibe without warming, consider the Touch or Tango instead. If you’re looking for a dual stimulator, Rosa could work for you that way if you’re cool with rumbly, strong internal vibration, less powerful clitoral/external vibration and a flexible shaft.
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When I got my first three VixSkin dildos (Buck, Johnny, & Tex), in my early notes for Johnny I wrote: Girthy. Delicious. Maybe my fave of the three. After months of using them all, Buck ended up winning the battle for my absolute favorite, but I still love Johnny as well.
Johnny is made of Vixen Creations’ addictive VixSkin dual density silicone, which features a firm core and a squishy, soft, skin-like outer layer. It feels incredibly realistic, and since it’s silicone, it’s hygienic and non-porous, unlike the majority of realistic dildos you see in a lot of sex toy stores that are often made of toxic materials (dildos you couldn’t pay me to touch now, much less put near my genitals.)
Johnny is similar to Buck in that it’s large (7″ long), uber-realistic, and quite girthy (1.75″) and veiny, but the most obvious difference is that Johnny has balls. Slightly lopsided, wrinkly, glorious balls. Johnny also has a more prominent curve, a longer, less pronounced head, and foreskin texture.
And let’s talk about that curve, shall we: it’s absolutely perfect for putting constant, fabulous pressure on my g-spot. Its head doesn’t protrude as much as Buck’s, so the g-spot stimulation feels different–it strokes more than it nudges or tugs. Johnny’s girth stretches me in an exquisite way, and its foreskin’s texture feels great stimulating my vaginal opening and g-spot during thrusting. The combination of Johnny’s curve, girth, and texture usually ends with a squirty mess.
Johnny’s balls are pretty epic, but they also make it a little harder to wield. I’m glad I have Johnny because I feel like my collection would be sadly lacking without a big, ballsy cock, but overall the balls don’t really add much for me during use.
Johnny is not a toy for when my vag is feeling finicky: I need to be in the zone. And I don’t go from zero to Johnny–I start with something smaller like Tex or Mustang, and move on to Johnny when my vag is like ok that feels good, now LET’S DO THIS! Its girth and texture also requires that I use quite a bit of lube, and every time I use Johnny I get a little closer to finally caving and getting a lube dispenser.
Another thing I should mention that’s come up since my Buck review–VixSkin is delicate and should be treated gently. Don’t ask me how it happened, but my Buck now has some light teeth marks around its head. They’re not so deep that it’s ruined, but I’m just saying…don’t let human (or pet) teeth get a hold of your VixSkin dildos.
If you’re looking for a curved, girthy, realistic dildo with hefty balls and some texture, you’ll probably love Johnny. If you don’t want balls, but you still want a girthy realistic dildo for intense g-spot stimulation, go with Buck. If you’re looking for a slimmer, shorter dildo, Mustang and Tex are both less girthy but still feature awesome g-spotting heads. Whatever you do, if you don’t have any VixSkin yet, get some! It’s a game changer.
Like all Vixen dildos, Johnny has a flared based (and balls!), so it’s safe for anal play and can be used in a harness. My Johnny is caramel, but it also comes in vanilla and chocolate.
Thanks Vixen Creations for sending me Johnny in exchange for an honest review! (If you buy through my affiliate links I will make a small commission, but this does not affect my reviews, which are always fair and honest. Trust me, I will tell youwhena toysucks.)
Hey everyone! I launched a campaign on Patreon, check out my video and page and if you enjoy my blog, please consider supporting me!
I explain how it works in the video, but basically it’s like a virtual tip jar–it’s a way to say thanks and let me know that you appreciate and enjoy my blog. If you’ve found my reviews and guides helpful over the years, if you enjoy reading my stories or like viewing my photography, please consider supporting me! Basically you pledge to give $1 or whatever amount you choose per blog post, and that will include all of my posts except for stuff like sales or group posts that don’t actually include my writing or photography. You can also put a cap on how much you pledge per month, so even if I post a bunch, you’ll only be charged that amount.
The money I make through Patreon will help me focus on my blog full time as well as hopefully allow me to go to more sex positive events and conferences!
If you can’t afford to pledge anything but enjoy my work, please consider sharing my Patreon page instead and helping me get the word out! I will continue to blog and put out free content, but I could really use your support!
Thanks so much, y’all!
Longer description, from my Patreon page:
Hey y’all, I’m Penny, and I’m a sex positive blogger in Austin, TX.
Right now I make a little bit of money off of my blog through affiliate programs, but it’s not enough to survive on without outside work, and it fluctuates a lot from month to month. This is why I’m asking for your help.
Patreon works sort of like Kickstarter, but instead of raising money for one big project, I’m asking for your help on an on-going, per post, subscription style basis. So you choose to pledge $1, $2 or however much you want, per blog post. This will include all of my posts with the exception of stuff like sales or group posts that don’t actually include my writing or photography. Since the number of posts I do per month varies greatly (I post anywhere from once a week to every day, like duringFebPhotoFest), you can put a cap on your monthly amount, say $10 a month for example, if that’s all you want to give per month. Anything helps!
Basically, it’s like a virtual tip jar, as a way to say thanks and let me know you like my blog. The money I make through Patreon will help me focus on my blog full time, as well as hopefully allow me to make more appearances at events and conferences related to sexuality.
As thanks, I’ve made a Vine account, and I’m going to post silly behind the scenes type video clips, me and my cat eating pizza, me shooting my sexy nudes maybe, whatever I want to do, and only my Patreon supporters will have access it!
I’ve been putting out free content on my blog for three years now, and I will continue to put out free content for as long as I possibly can because I love my blog, and I love what I do, but if you appreciate blog and you find my reviews and guides helpful or like looking at my photos, then please, I could really use your help to take my blog to the next level!
I want to start by saying that I do not know everything there is to now about squirting/female ejaculation. I am not a doctor, a scientist, or a researcher. What I am, however, is an expert at my own body. And I know that I ejaculate, and that is is most definitely not the same as peeing. I am not opposed to further study of the chemical makeup and process of squirting–I’m all for more research, and that is not what upsets me.
What upsets and angers me is when the media takes a very small (and arguably poorly designed) study of squirting and proclaims it the truth and the be-all end-all on the matter. I’m not going to link to the media outlets that wrote about it because I don’t want to send traffic to their crappy, patronizing articles, but I’ve read at least three that sensationalize this small, inconclusive study, declaring SQUIRTING IS REALLY JUST PEE all too gleefully.
I don’t care if my ejaculate is chemically similar to pee (and I don’t think there’s evidence that it is), but regardless, my experience of squirting during sex is NOT that of peeing and is tied to my pleasure and to call it “essentially adult bed wetting” is incredibly insulting, condescending, and damaging.
Let’s talk about the study1 for a moment, shall we. First off, as I already mentioned, it studied only 7 women, all of whom ejaculate a large amount2 during orgasm. They took ultrasounds of the participants’ bladders before arousal, right after they became aroused, and after squirting. They also took urine samples before sexual stimulation, samples of the squirt, and urine samples after. In the results, they report the levels of PSA (prostatic fluid) as well as urea, creatinine, and uric acid levels. I’m not going to go into all of the findings in detail, but the main points I took from it were that 2 of the women didn’t have any PSA in their squirt, 5 did, and 1 had a lot of it, and 2 of the participants’ squirt showed little difference in the amounts of urea, creatinine, and uric acid in their squirt/urine.
First off, there seem to be some pretty obvious problems with this study….like why did they only study 7 women, and why only women who ejaculate lots of fluid every time it happens?3 Why didn’t they note the size of the prostate before and after stimulation in the study? Or are they including it with the neighboring bladder, which would pretty much invalidate the whole squirt is pee hypothesis?
Also, a study conducted in Spain in 1999 by psychologist and sexologist Dr. Francisco Cabello Sanatamaria (Sundahl 25) suggests that women ejaculate retrograde into the bladder if they don’t release their ejaculate–how does this relate to the women in the study? Could they be producing the squirt in their prostates, storing excess in their bladders until the moment of orgasmic release? If not, how and why do women produce such large amounts of fluid in the bladder, and only from sexual stimulation of the prostate? Why does it contain prostatic fluid? Does the size and shape of their prostate (there are 4 types) and the number of glands and ducts (it varies greatly) affect the chemical makeup/amount of PSA in their squirt?
I get that no one study can cover everything, but these are all very important questions that need further study.
It seems that the researchers don’t understand the experiences of women/people who ejaculate, and they think it’s a “problem” to be “fixed.” In the end of the study, the report says that a recent study shows that 4 out of 5 women who ejaculate see it as an enrichment to their sex lives…but then they go on to say that since the study didn’t specify how much these women ejaculate, women who ejaculate a lot probably see it as a problem. Based on nothing but these scientists’ conjecture.
The media is disregarding the experiences of so many women who ejaculate and find it a natural, fulfilling part of their sexuality, and trying to portray squirting in a negative light. In addition to people who squirt seeing it as a vital part of their sexual experience and identity, there have also been studies that suggest that squirt may provide a protective agent for the urethra (Sundahl 42) and that female ejaculate plays a role in creating a supportive environment for sperm/reproduction as well (Sundahl 36.)
And let’s not forget the other studies that have shown that squirt is not the same as urine. In her book book “Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot,” Deborah Sundahl (who has been researching female ejaculation for 35 years & references dozens of studies in her book) asserts that female ejaculate is predominately prostatic fluid (produced by the female prostate) mixed with 10% glucose & trace amounts of urine (uric acid, urea, & creatinine.)
Still, the media chooses to disregard all of the previous research, as well as the countless personal accounts of people who ejaculate, and declare “IT IS PEE! IT’S PISS! It’s essentially adult bed-wetting!” They use horribly negative language to portray what so many people consider to be an amazing, natural part of their sexuality. They also ignore the part of the study that I find most interesting– that all seven women reported that their squirting was partner dependent, and that in six of seven women, it was only possible after manual g-spot stimulation. Regardless of where their squirt comes from or what it’s made of, there’s obviously something more complicated going on here than just “peeing during sex.”
Which leads me to my own experience with ejaculation and how I know that ejaculation is not pee. When I squirt, I am not peeing. First off, it took me months to learn to stimulate my g-spot and learn to ejaculate. I wanted to do it, but it didn’t happen until I was not only stimulating my g-spot in the right way, but also relaxed and confident in my ability to do it. If it was “just pissing during sex,” I think it would’ve come much easier than that, and I’d be able to go it without g-spot stimulation. It also does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Most importantly, it does not feel like peeing. It feels like ejaculating.
Before I ejaculated for the first time, I wasn’t exactly convinced that squirting wasn’t pee. But I was interested in trying out a new experience, and I decided if I did pee during orgasm, so be it–I am not squicked out by bodily fluids. When I was first exploring my g-spot, the sensations I felt did remind me of the feeling of having to pee, which makes sense because the g-spot surrounds the urethral canal. But now that I’m familiar with my g-spot and the sensations I feel when it’s stimulated, I can easily distinguish between the two feelings: needing to pee and needing to ejaculate. If I’ve drank too much water and start having sex or masturbating, I know when I need to go pee, and I get up and go pee. If my g-spot is being stimulated by fingers, a toy, or a penis, and I feel the power of my arousal growing with stimulation and pressure to my g-spot to the point where I need a release–I know I need to ejaculate. They are two separate, distinct feelings and experiences.
My ejaculation varies–sometimes I can easily ejaculate while other times I can’t, but that’s not surprising, since the amount/ability to ejaculate depends on where you are in your menstrual cycle, as does its smell and taste (like with vaginal lubrication.) Obviously, it also depends on my mood, my arousal, and whether or not I want to make a mess that day.
I can control whether or not I ejaculate (so it’s definitely not “orgasmic incontinence.)” There have been a few times when I felt it was extremely urgent and perhaps I couldn’t have stopped it (read: uncontrollable, mind-blowing orgasms) but in general, I can control if and when I do it. Sometimes I choose not to, depending on the situation. It also does not always coincide with my orgasm. Sometimes it does, but sometimes I can squirt, then orgasm, then squirt some more…etc. I think it often enhances my g-spot orgasms, but I can also have g-spot orgasms without squirting. Men/people with penises too can learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, so this isn’t surprising. It also isn’t surprising that for some women it isn’t controllable, as it isn’t controllable for many men. How we orgasm and ejaculate obviously varies.
I’d also like to point out that there is nothing wrong with urinal incontinence, or peeing during sex play, but I am asserting that squirting is a different experience and should not be labeled as “peeing during sex.”
For the people who say, what’s the big deal, why are you getting so upset? It’s just science. Science is objective–no, science is influenced by culture, and science has historically ignored or even vilified female sexuality. Let’s not forget that not long ago, scientists thought that our wombs wandered about in our bodies, creating hysteria–a “disease” that could only be cured by stimulation of women’s sex organs by a doctor. Let’s not forget that in the past, scientists left blank spots on diagrams of women’s anatomy or did not understand its full capacity.
Sensationalizing biased, misinformed, and inconclusive studies is not harmless–it is destructive. In her Vagaculation workshop last year, Diana J. Torres talked about how young women she met in Spain had had their prostates (g-spots) removed unnecessarily because doctors mistook their ejaculation for incontinence. The female prostate is an integral part of vaginal sexual anatomy, and to have it removed (and therefore also the potential for g-spot/orgasmic pleasure) due to misinformation and negative views of squirting is horrifying.
Deborah Sundahl also discusses how if women are consciously or unconsciously afraid they might pee during sex, they sometimes routinely clamp down on their PC muscles to avoid what is actually ejaculation, which can contribute to chronic pelvic muscle tension, a serious physical problem. Not to mention the shame surrounding sexuality after hearing “you don’t have a g-spot” or “female ejaculation isn’t real” all around you, even if you know it’s bullshit. Hearing that ejaculation is just pee or that it’s gross and something to be avoided can damage a person’s sexuality and well-being, even if it’s unconscious.
It has not always been like this. Historically, many cultures have recognized and even celebrated female ejaculation. And even in our culture, many sex educators and sexuality pioneers like Deborah Sundahl, Shannon Bell, Tristan Taormino, and others, have been teaching about the g-spot and female ejaculation and hosting workshops to spread knowledge about it for years. There are tons of personal accounts from squirters, some right therewaiting for you to read (sex blogs!), sharing their stories of ejaculation and g-spot pleasure. It is not something we’re all “making up,” it’s not a porn star trick, it’s not a myth–it is real, and it is not pee.
If you’re still not convinced that squirting is real, and you think I’m full of shit, I challenge you to think about why you find the idea of squirting/female ejaculation so offensive, and why you want to dismiss it as “just pee.” I also encourage you to do your own research–read more about it before you jump on the bandwagon and share one of those articles with silly gifs that mock the valid, real, and incredibly important experiences of so many people like myself. I’ve already heard of people sharing these condescending articles as a way to shame and intimidate people who squirt, and that is disgusting and unacceptable. Think what you want about the topic, but don’t use any article or study to make someone feel bad about their natural sexual experience.
Leading sex blogger Epiphora wrote a brilliant response to the media’s coverage of this study, sharing her experiences with squirting and asking other people who squirt to share their experiences in the comments section of her post as well as on Twitter with the hashtag #notpee. If you’re a squirter, please help us dispel these negative myths about our sexuality by participating!
Update 1/17: Lux Alptraum also wrote a great piece on this subject for the Guardian.
Also, please feel free to share your experiences in my comments section or link to your posts about squirting!
Let’s cut to the chase: vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango and Touch make me thank goddess I have a clitoris.
If you’ve ever visited one of the big sex toy mega-stores, you know there is no shortage of vibrator options. The problem is that a lot of them are crap. Many are made of unsafe materials, and even the ones that are safe are often badly designed, or are too weak, or too buzzy.
If you’re not familiar with vibration types, “buzzy” vibration feels like a tickle–it’s also described as “surface level,” because it only stimulates the surface area where you put it. I can sometimes orgasm from buzzy vibrations, but the orgasms usually feel weak and unsatisfying.1 Rumbly vibrations on the other hand, travel further and deeper. So if you’re using a vibrator clitorally, a buzzy vibrator only stimulates the clitoral glans, or wherever you put it, whereas a rumbly vibrator will stimulate wherever you put it, as well as the deeper, inner clitoris. This translates to stronger, more satisfying orgasms.
Enter the We-Vibe Tango & Touch. The Tango is made of hard plastic and features a straight, “bullet,” lipstick-like design, with an angled tip, and the Touch is made of silky matte silicone, with a broader design that features a cup-like tip to cover the clit. The reason I’m reviewing them together is because although they have different designs, they feature the same motor.
And let’s talk about that motor–because it’s what makes these vibes so unique, and so amazing. It’s strong. Miraculously strong. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also super rumbly. Like, mini earthquakes rumbly. And strong, rumbly vibration=incredibly strong, intense orgasms. To whoever created that motor–you are a hero!
Since it’s smaller and made of hard plastic, the Tango is the stronger vibrator of the two. It’s so strong that I can use it over panties, and it’s also one of the only vibrators that can make me come without direct clitoral contact, its rumbly vibration awakening my inner clit. I am often greedy about my orgasms though, so I use it directly too, and I can come in record time. Like, Hitachi or Eroscillator fast…except it’s much smaller, and not a plug-in! The Tango’s angled tip is great for pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use its body for a little more surface area.
The Tango is so strong that one time while I was using it with Jake, I came almost the entire time we were having sex, and my vag got so tight from constant squeezing that Jake legit had a hard time staying inside of me. He had to thrust super hard to keep my vag from pushing him out. It’s also so fabulous that I’ve actually dreamed about masturbating with it. No one else was with me in my dream, nothing particularly interesting was happening…I was just using the Tango on my clit. It’s quite literally the stuff dreams are made of.
The Tango is also really versatile since it’s the same size as standard bullets, so you can use it to replace the generic bullets that come with a lot of vibrating dildos/butt plugs.
Since the Touch is broader and its vibrations have to travel through silicone, they’re dampened a little and not quite as strong as the Tango–but don’t get me wrong, they’re still strong. The Touch also offers more surface area, which I like, and it’s concave area is great for cupping my clit, surrounding it with vibration. During sex with a partner, I usually prefer using the Touch, because I don’t need vibration to be as strong during penetration, and it’s easier to hold. (And sometimes the Tango can actually be too stimulating/overwhelming for me during sex.)
Both the Tango and the Touch are powered by a single button and feature 4 steady vibration power levels as well as 4 vibration patterns. To change the vibration, you click the button, and it will cycle through the functions. If you turn off the vibe (by holding down the button for a couple of seconds) and then turn it back on, it starts on the setting you used last. I can come one the first power level using either toy…and then I can orgasm again if I keep going, moving on to the stronger levels. I don’t use it often because I usually prefer steady vibration, but I do enjoy the Wave pattern. I’m not a big fan of the other 3 though–they feel a little too robotic.
=oh goddess, yes!
=oh, fuck, yesssss!
=OMFG I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, YES!
=An enjoyable tease.
=Make it stop!
Not only are the Tango and Touch strong and rumbly, they’re also stealthy. A lot of vibrators claim to be whisper quiet–but in this case, they actually are. They’re I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch and want to orgasm really quickly before bed quiet. They’re come fast in the bathroom quiet. Hell, I bet they’re so quiet that you could use one in the bed next to a sleeping partner without waking them strong, though I haven’t tested that theory.
In addition to being strong, rumbly, and discreet, the Tango and Touch are also waterproof and rechargeable. They take 90 minutes to charge, and they last for up to 2 hours of use. When their batteries are running low, the power button blinks like a homing beacon, letting you know that you need to charge them ASAP. This can be somewhat annoying if they’re on your bed stand, but overall I appreciate this feature, because a Tango or Touch dying mid-use is excruciating.
So you’re probably thinking that there must be a downside to these vibes. They couldn’t be perfect, could they? They’re pretty damn close, but there are a few things. For one, the whole Tango vibrates, so your fingers do feel the vibration as well. This doesn’t happen as much with the Touch, though you still get a little bit of vibration in the handle part. I also wish the charge lasted longer. It seems that almost every day, they’re blinking, telling me to charge them again. And as I mentioned earlier, I don’t like most of the functions, but that’s not a big deal to me.
The last and worst problem, which applies to the Tango in particular, is that they can die easily. I’ve heard that We-Vibe updated their electrical boards since the first generation of Tangos to decrease the number of failed units, AKA sad, dead vibrators, which was a good move on We-Vibe’s part. My first version Tango died suddenly mid-wank one day, and to my dismay, it would never hold a charge after that. I’ve had my new Tango & Touch for 3 months now and haven’t had any problems, but I’ve heard some people still have. Still, they come with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty, so if that happens within the first year, you can get it replaced quickly.
The current Tango and Touch are the second generation, and there are a few differences from the original design. I had the original Tango, but I never tried the original Touch. The most important difference is that the old Touch was also not as strong and made of a different type of silicone that attracted link and hair more easily. The Tango is pretty much the same, with a slightly longer design. They both feature an updated, less finicky charger. For a detailed description of all of the differences between the old and new versions, check out Dangerous Lilly’s reviews.
So, which should you get?
Both! Ok, but if you have to choose…
If all you care about is having the most powerful vibrations, get the Tango. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit of vibration strength for a vibe that’s more ergonomic, or if you prefer broader stimulation or soft toys, get the Touch. They’re both strong, quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable, so you really can’t go wrong with either though, unless you don’t like powerful, rumbly vibration.
So what’s next on my wishlist from We-Vibe? The Dusk! I included it in my 15 sex toys I want to try in 2015 list, because Epiphora says you can have hands free orgasms with the Dusk+Tango…OMFG, y’all!
*The Tango & Touch were sent by We-Vibe in exchange for my honest review–thanks We-Vibe! If you buy through my links, I will receive a small commission. If you want to support my blog, please clear your cache & cookies first to ensure I get credit–thanks!