May 19, 2013
Yesterday was one of those days when I just felt like doing something a little “crazy.” While Jake, a friend, and I had drinks and lunch outside, I told Jake to pour ice water down my dress. He did, and that turned in to him telling me to put some in my underwear as well, which I sneakily (or maybe not so much?) did under the table.
On the trek from Yellow Jacket to our friend’s place after lunch, the Texas sun scorched our skin and the heat seemed to radiate out in waves from everything– from the street, from the sky, from the air. “Somehow there’s still some ice in my panties!” I said, pulling it out and rubbing it on my neck. Jake looked around, and when he didn’t see anyone, we snapped a photo of my ass hanging out of my panties by the railroad tracks as we walked.
When we got to our friend’s place, sweaty and tired, I pulled off my dress and declared that I would just hang out topless all day. And I did. At first it was just inside, but then we ended up sitting out on the front porch talking as the guys sipped beers. I’d never been outside topless like that before, and although I was sitting facing away from traffic behind a pillar most of the time, we were still on a main street, and the possibility of being seen was palpable.
It’s technically legal to be topless in Austin as long as you aren’t committing some other crime or “offending” people, which is subjective and could still be risky, but people in Austin are usually pretty chill about it. When one of my friends lived at a hippie co-op during college, they had a topless car wash outside to raise money. Some cops rolled up as they often would since the place was known as a hub for wild parties, but they didn’t do anything…except park and watch for awhile. I’ve also seen topless women at public places like Barton Springs, floating the river, and Eeyore’s Birthday.
At first I felt strange and a little vulnerable sitting out there, expecting people to stop, stare, or who knows…maybe even scream, “Hey, look at that topless girl sitting outside!” if they happened to see me. But nothing like that happened. No one stopped to look, no one gasped in horror, and I don’t think anyone other than a couple of people like a neighbor walking by even noticed, and the few that did didn’t seem phased.
I’m comfortable with my body, yet every once in awhile when someone was walking at an angle where they could possibly see me, I thought, should I go put on clothes? Is my body going to offend someone? Will I get in trouble? I never got to the point where I felt so uncomfortable that I went to get my dress, I just had passing moments of feeling a bit squeamish.
But it was also exciting and freeing as the breeze grazed my body without the confines of my sweaty dress sticking to me, and that feeling held more power over me.
While writing this post, I started to wonder why flashing is considered exhibitionism or taboo in the first place. Why are men are allowed to be topless while women generally aren’t?* Is it because women’s body parts are automatically sexualized, while men’s aren’t? Sure, women’s breasts can be sexual, but so can men’s chests and nipples.
When I asked Jake about it, he said that it’s just not something our society generally accepts, and the norms are followed so that people aren’t offended. He also pointed out that a lot of women probably don’t want to be topless in public for fear of ogling men, which is understandable.
But still, why are only women’s breasts considered potentially offensive? I think it has something to do with the hypocritical relationship between our sex filled media and contrasting expectations of purity and “modesty,” especially for women.
Advertising screams sex at us everyday, everywhere we go, on the streets, on TV, on the Internet. Buy this makeup and you will be desirable! Wear these flirty clothes; you need a flattering cut with Spanx underneath to feel truly beautiful! Get this deodorant, and women will bang down your door, dying to fuck you! Victoria’s Secret supermodels touch themselves in skimpy lingerie for all to see, but women are still sometimes arrested for breast feeding in public.
I could go on and on on this topic (and perhaps I will in another post,) but my point here is that it seems warped to me that when the media and advertising often use sexually suggestive content, it’s acceptable, but seeing a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, showing a natural part of her upper body in real life could be considered more offensive and possibly even illegal. And even if she isn’t topless, she risks being labeled a slut if she wears revealing clothing or expresses a sexuality different from the norm.
Even though I think our society’s attitudes about sex and nudity are contradictory and generally screwed up, as of now, they’re still a fact of life. Until people of any gender can walk about topless without possible arrest or at least shock factor, baring my tits is still exhibitionism, and so I suppose I’m a budding exhibitionist. And although I tend to shun labels, I don’t really mind this one.
Of course I had to document my wild day of “exhibition” for Dee’s Scavenger Hunt as well, even though I only had my phone camera. Does my underwear one count for Train Tracks as well?
*For writing simplicity I refer to “women” and “men” here, although a person’s gender doesn’t necessarily coincide with having or lacking breasts, and not everyone identifies as one of these two labels.
May 17, 2013
e[lust] is a monthly digest of the best sex related writing on the Internet. This month’s edition features my Sin City image as the header photo and includes my poem Vanishing.
Photo courtesy of A Penny for Your Dirty Thoughts
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #47? Start with the newly updated rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
How to Shave Your Asshole
Tied and Blindfolded
Why Disney is like BDSM
~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~
Because you are so beautiful
Suspension of Disbelief
~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~
Dildology: The Science of Sex Toys
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
May 14, 2013
1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss
First of all, I’m not sure what I should consider my first kiss. Was it the one on the cheek in 4th grade with my “boyfriend” who I shared with my two girlfriends? Or the first one with tongue when I was 14 with a guy I didn’t care about who tasted like old mints? Nah, I don’t regret either one.
I Miss My First Love
Sometimes I wonder how he is doing, but I don’t miss him in an “I want to see him” kind of way.
I Married My First Love
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me
Truthfully, I’m not sure. There have been times when I thought I loved someone, but looking back I’m not sure I would still call it love.
2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
This may sounds cliché, but I don’t like labels. Jake and I aren’t “monogamous” in the normal sense because we are open to having sexual experiences together with other partners, but we aren’t polyamorous either. We’re just….us. And before Jake, I had monogamous partners as well as one dysfunctional open relationship.
3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
None of the above. I can get in the mood even when I’m tired, but sometimes I just don’t want to have sex, and Jake respects that as well.
4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?
If I’m masturbating in bed, and he’s around, we usually start to play or do some sort of mutual masturbation. So no, he doesn’t mind.
5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner
Again, none of the above. I am playful, but I don’t consider myself tame. We try outfits and toys together sometimes, but they usually get tossed away pretty quickly. We do love trying new things, but neither of us really “shocks” each other; we’re both pretty open minded. Our typical sexual romp is…passionate, messy, and satisfying.
Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.
I can’t pick just one time…almost every time I orgasm I think it was the best orgasm ever because it’s the most recent one in my mind.
May 6, 2013
1. My favorite place to masturbate is ________ ?
Either in bed or on the futon. I like to be comfortable.
2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
I actually don’t think I’ve ever masturbated in public, although I have had sex in public.
3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes definitely. I like doing it with Jake because the intimacy of watching how he touches himself turns me on, and it’s fun to tease each other and mix things up. I’ve even written a short erotic story about it…
4. When was the last time you masturbated?
Last night before going to sleep. Also, I’ve been touching myself a little while writing this. My clit has a mind of its own what can I say…
5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
I’ve taken a few photos of myself while masturbating.
6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Yes, especially if it’s to me. I also like watching people have sex…and porn…
Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
I’ve made some sexy home videos with Jake that included me touching myself, but no, I’m not sharing them here…although who knows maybe I will at some point.
Apr 28, 2013
Yesterday was one of my favorite Austin traditions, Eeyore’s Birthday, a festival filled with people in costumes, drum circles, food benefiting local non-profits, music, and most importantly, peaceful vibes.
Eeyore’s started in 1963 as a spring party and picnic for the UT English Department students (if only I had attended 40 years earlier!) and has evolved and changed but is still a favorite annual Austinite celebration. It has an awesome hippie feel, and people of all ages come together to play and party and celebrate our weird city.
I’ve attended for quite a few years now, and this one was just as fun as the rest. Jake and I wandered around, watched people play football on unicycles, admired the crazy costumes, hoop dancers, and musicians, met up with friends, and danced in the last drum circle as the sun set. And of course I couldn’t pass up an opportunity for a Scavenger Hunt photo! I also posted a fully clothed(ish) photo on Instagram
Happy 50th Birthday Eeyore!
As Molly suggested, I’ve added a new vintage edit. Click the image to see the original, and let me know which one you like better!
The original image was featured as a top photo in the Sinful Sunday weekly Round-up; thanks Jilly & Molly!