The L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a swanky vibrator, with its jewel motif, soft silicone, and sleek design and packaging. If Gatsby hosted orgies, Rosas would be as abundant as champagne and lacy panties. The Rosa Rouge arouses me before I even turn on its vibration, and I’m not just talking about its drool worthy aesthetic.
What is this sorcery?
The Rosa Rogue isn’t just a vibrator… it’s a heating vibrator. It kind of feels like I’m masturbating with hot lava, but in the best way. It’s like a little spa treatment for my clit. A clit sauna. A little private sunny island vacay for my vulva…with orgasms instead of Mai Tais.
Since there are so many vibrators on the market these days, companies are constantly trying to come up with novel features to keep people interested. There are vibes that are suppossed to act like fingers, vibes meant to mimic oral, vibes that look like aliens…and I’m all for variety, but often these toys are just gimmicky and would be better off with a more basic design.
But Rosa Rogue’s heating is definitely not a gimmick. Oh man, I love it. If I put it on my clit for the few minutes it takes to heat up to 104-107 degrees1, I get super aroused, and by the time it’s warmed up, my clit is ready to party, and its rumbly vibration is heavenly. It’s not quite as strong and rumbly as Tango, but it can still hang, even with die hard Tango fans.
Other things I love about Rosa: it’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, lockable for travel, and it comes with an 18 month warranty. The charger base also rocks–it’s super easy to use, and it’s obvious when it’s done charging.
So far I’ve mentioned that my clit loves Rosa’s heating and vibration. Specifically, the shaft’s vibration. But Rosa is also designed to be a dual stimulator–the shaft is curved for g-spot vibration and the base is meant for simultaneous clitoral stimulation…but Rosa doesn’t work for me that way.
Rosa’s shaft provides deep, rumbly vibrations (hell yes!), while the base’s vibrations are less powerful and buzzier (sad face.) So when I insert Rosa’s shaft and use it as intended, my clit is underwhelmed by the base’s weaker vibration. My g-spot gets all of the strong rumblies, but my g-spot doesn’t need vibration, it needs pressure and/or thrusting, which Rosa’s flexible shaft can’t provide adequately… so neither my clit nor my g-spot are satisfied.
Other than the base not working out well for me and the flexible shaft, the main complaint I have with Rosa is the controls. Since they’re tiny and embedded in the silicone, they’re really difficult to see and control, and Rosa definitely needs an easy off button.2
So, the ultimate question here is, should you drop $240 on the Rosa Rouge? Is it worth it?
My g-spot says no. My wallet says hells no. But my clit says yassss!
For Rosa to be absolutely perfect and totally worth the hefty price tag for me, it would need to have a firmer shaft, easier to find buttons, and it would probably need to bring me coffee and/or pizza and cuddle with me while watching Buffy. But if you like powerful, rumbly vibrations, think you’ll enjoy the heating feature, and have an extra $240 lying around to invest in quality orgasms, Rosa is still a solid choice as is.
If you’re not interested in heating, there’s also the plain Rosa (available in emerald, cerise, and black) for $180. If both Rosa Rouge and plain Rosa are way out of your price range and you still want a strong petite vibe without warming, consider the Touch or Tango instead. If you’re looking for a dual stimulator, Rosa could work for you that way if you’re cool with rumbly, strong internal vibration, less powerful clitoral/external vibration and a flexible shaft.
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When I got my first three VixSkin dildos (Buck, Johnny, & Tex), in my early notes for Johnny I wrote: Girthy. Delicious. Maybe my fave of the three. After months of using them all, Buck ended up winning the battle for my absolute favorite, but I still love Johnny as well.
Johnny is made of Vixen Creations’ addictive VixSkin dual density silicone, which features a firm core and a squishy, soft, skin-like outer layer. It feels incredibly realistic, and since it’s silicone, it’s hygienic and non-porous, unlike the majority of realistic dildos you see in a lot of sex toy stores that are often made of toxic materials (dildos you couldn’t pay me to touch now, much less put near my genitals.)
Johnny is similar to Buck in that it’s large (7″ long), uber-realistic, and quite girthy (1.75″) and veiny, but the most obvious difference is that Johnny has balls. Slightly lopsided, wrinkly, glorious balls. Johnny also has a more prominent curve, a longer, less pronounced head, and foreskin texture.
And let’s talk about that curve, shall we: it’s absolutely perfect for putting constant, fabulous pressure on my g-spot. Its head doesn’t protrude as much as Buck’s, so the g-spot stimulation feels different–it strokes more than it nudges or tugs. Johnny’s girth stretches me in an exquisite way, and its foreskin’s texture feels great stimulating my vaginal opening and g-spot during thrusting. The combination of Johnny’s curve, girth, and texture usually ends with a squirty mess.
Johnny’s balls are pretty epic, but they also make it a little harder to wield. I’m glad I have Johnny because I feel like my collection would be sadly lacking without a big, ballsy cock, but overall the balls don’t really add much for me during use.
Johnny is not a toy for when my vag is feeling finicky: I need to be in the zone. And I don’t go from zero to Johnny–I start with something smaller like Tex or Mustang, and move on to Johnny when my vag is like ok that feels good, now LET’S DO THIS! Its girth and texture also requires that I use quite a bit of lube, and every time I use Johnny I get a little closer to finally caving and getting a lube dispenser.
Another thing I should mention that’s come up since my Buck review–VixSkin is delicate and should be treated gently. Don’t ask me how it happened, but my Buck now has some light teeth marks around its head. They’re not so deep that it’s ruined, but I’m just saying…don’t let human (or pet) teeth get a hold of your VixSkin dildos.
If you’re looking for a curved, girthy, realistic dildo with hefty balls and some texture, you’ll probably love Johnny. If you don’t want balls, but you still want a girthy realistic dildo for intense g-spot stimulation, go with Buck. If you’re looking for a slimmer, shorter dildo, Mustang and Tex are both less girthy but still feature awesome g-spotting heads. Whatever you do, if you don’t have any VixSkin yet, get some! It’s a game changer.
Like all Vixen dildos, Johnny has a flared based (and balls!), so it’s safe for anal play and can be used in a harness. My Johnny is caramel, but it also comes in vanilla and chocolate.
Thanks Vixen Creations for sending me Johnny in exchange for an honest review! (If you buy through my affiliate links I will make a small commission, but this does not affect my reviews, which are always fair and honest. Trust me, I will tell youwhena toysucks.)
Hey everyone! I launched a campaign on Patreon, check out my video and page and if you enjoy my blog, please consider supporting me!
I explain how it works in the video, but basically it’s like a virtual tip jar–it’s a way to say thanks and let me know that you appreciate and enjoy my blog. If you’ve found my reviews and guides helpful over the years, if you enjoy reading my stories or like viewing my photography, please consider supporting me! Basically you pledge to give $1 or whatever amount you choose per blog post, and that will include all of my posts except for stuff like sales or group posts that don’t actually include my writing or photography. You can also put a cap on how much you pledge per month, so even if I post a bunch, you’ll only be charged that amount.
The money I make through Patreon will help me focus on my blog full time as well as hopefully allow me to go to more sex positive events and conferences!
If you can’t afford to pledge anything but enjoy my work, please consider sharing my Patreon page instead and helping me get the word out! I will continue to blog and put out free content, but I could really use your support!
Thanks so much, y’all!
Longer description, from my Patreon page:
Hey y’all, I’m Penny, and I’m a sex positive blogger in Austin, TX.
Right now I make a little bit of money off of my blog through affiliate programs, but it’s not enough to survive on without outside work, and it fluctuates a lot from month to month. This is why I’m asking for your help.
Patreon works sort of like Kickstarter, but instead of raising money for one big project, I’m asking for your help on an on-going, per post, subscription style basis. So you choose to pledge $1, $2 or however much you want, per blog post. This will include all of my posts with the exception of stuff like sales or group posts that don’t actually include my writing or photography. Since the number of posts I do per month varies greatly (I post anywhere from once a week to every day, like duringFebPhotoFest), you can put a cap on your monthly amount, say $10 a month for example, if that’s all you want to give per month. Anything helps!
Basically, it’s like a virtual tip jar, as a way to say thanks and let me know you like my blog. The money I make through Patreon will help me focus on my blog full time, as well as hopefully allow me to make more appearances at events and conferences related to sexuality.
As thanks, I’ve made a Vine account, and I’m going to post silly behind the scenes type video clips, me and my cat eating pizza, me shooting my sexy nudes maybe, whatever I want to do, and only my Patreon supporters will have access it!
I’ve been putting out free content on my blog for three years now, and I will continue to put out free content for as long as I possibly can because I love my blog, and I love what I do, but if you appreciate blog and you find my reviews and guides helpful or like looking at my photos, then please, I could really use your help to take my blog to the next level!
I want to start by saying that I do not know everything there is to now about squirting/female ejaculation. I am not a doctor, a scientist, or a researcher. What I am, however, is an expert at my own body. And I know that I ejaculate, and that is is most definitely not the same as peeing. I am not opposed to further study of the chemical makeup and process of squirting–I’m all for more research, and that is not what upsets me.
What upsets and angers me is when the media takes a very small (and arguably poorly designed) study of squirting and proclaims it the truth and the be-all end-all on the matter. I’m not going to link to the media outlets that wrote about it because I don’t want to send traffic to their crappy, patronizing articles, but I’ve read at least three that sensationalize this small, inconclusive study, declaring SQUIRTING IS REALLY JUST PEE all too gleefully.
I don’t care if my ejaculate is chemically similar to pee (and I don’t think there’s evidence that it is), but regardless, my experience of squirting during sex is NOT that of peeing and is tied to my pleasure and to call it “essentially adult bed wetting” is incredibly insulting, condescending, and damaging.
Let’s talk about the study1 for a moment, shall we. First off, as I already mentioned, it studied only 7 women, all of whom ejaculate a large amount2 during orgasm. They took ultrasounds of the participants’ bladders before arousal, right after they became aroused, and after squirting. They also took urine samples before sexual stimulation, samples of the squirt, and urine samples after. In the results, they report the levels of PSA (prostatic fluid) as well as urea, creatinine, and uric acid levels. I’m not going to go into all of the findings in detail, but the main points I took from it were that 2 of the women didn’t have any PSA in their squirt, 5 did, and 1 had a lot of it, and 2 of the participants’ squirt showed little difference in the amounts of urea, creatinine, and uric acid in their squirt/urine.
First off, there seem to be some pretty obvious problems with this study….like why did they only study 7 women, and why only women who ejaculate lots of fluid every time it happens?3 Why didn’t they note the size of the prostate before and after stimulation in the study? Or are they including it with the neighboring bladder, which would pretty much invalidate the whole squirt is pee hypothesis?
Also, a study conducted in Spain in 1999 by psychologist and sexologist Dr. Francisco Cabello Sanatamaria (Sundahl 25) suggests that women ejaculate retrograde into the bladder if they don’t release their ejaculate–how does this relate to the women in the study? Could they be producing the squirt in their prostates, storing excess in their bladders until the moment of orgasmic release? If not, how and why do women produce such large amounts of fluid in the bladder, and only from sexual stimulation of the prostate? Why does it contain prostatic fluid? Does the size and shape of their prostate (there are 4 types) and the number of glands and ducts (it varies greatly) affect the chemical makeup/amount of PSA in their squirt?
I get that no one study can cover everything, but these are all very important questions that need further study.
It seems that the researchers don’t understand the experiences of women/people who ejaculate, and they think it’s a “problem” to be “fixed.” In the end of the study, the report says that a recent study shows that 4 out of 5 women who ejaculate see it as an enrichment to their sex lives…but then they go on to say that since the study didn’t specify how much these women ejaculate, women who ejaculate a lot probably see it as a problem. Based on nothing but these scientists’ conjecture.
The media is disregarding the experiences of so many women who ejaculate and find it a natural, fulfilling part of their sexuality, and trying to portray squirting in a negative light. In addition to people who squirt seeing it as a vital part of their sexual experience and identity, there have also been studies that suggest that squirt may provide a protective agent for the urethra (Sundahl 42) and that female ejaculate plays a role in creating a supportive environment for sperm/reproduction as well (Sundahl 36.)
And let’s not forget the other studies that have shown that squirt is not the same as urine. In her book book “Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot,” Deborah Sundahl (who has been researching female ejaculation for 35 years & references dozens of studies in her book) asserts that female ejaculate is predominately prostatic fluid (produced by the female prostate) mixed with 10% glucose & trace amounts of urine (uric acid, urea, & creatinine.)
Still, the media chooses to disregard all of the previous research, as well as the countless personal accounts of people who ejaculate, and declare “IT IS PEE! IT’S PISS! It’s essentially adult bed-wetting!” They use horribly negative language to portray what so many people consider to be an amazing, natural part of their sexuality. They also ignore the part of the study that I find most interesting– that all seven women reported that their squirting was partner dependent, and that in six of seven women, it was only possible after manual g-spot stimulation. Regardless of where their squirt comes from or what it’s made of, there’s obviously something more complicated going on here than just “peeing during sex.”
Which leads me to my own experience with ejaculation and how I know that ejaculation is not pee. When I squirt, I am not peeing. First off, it took me months to learn to stimulate my g-spot and learn to ejaculate. I wanted to do it, but it didn’t happen until I was not only stimulating my g-spot in the right way, but also relaxed and confident in my ability to do it. If it was “just pissing during sex,” I think it would’ve come much easier than that, and I’d be able to go it without g-spot stimulation. It also does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Most importantly, it does not feel like peeing. It feels like ejaculating.
Before I ejaculated for the first time, I wasn’t exactly convinced that squirting wasn’t pee. But I was interested in trying out a new experience, and I decided if I did pee during orgasm, so be it–I am not squicked out by bodily fluids. When I was first exploring my g-spot, the sensations I felt did remind me of the feeling of having to pee, which makes sense because the g-spot surrounds the urethral canal. But now that I’m familiar with my g-spot and the sensations I feel when it’s stimulated, I can easily distinguish between the two feelings: needing to pee and needing to ejaculate. If I’ve drank too much water and start having sex or masturbating, I know when I need to go pee, and I get up and go pee. If my g-spot is being stimulated by fingers, a toy, or a penis, and I feel the power of my arousal growing with stimulation and pressure to my g-spot to the point where I need a release–I know I need to ejaculate. They are two separate, distinct feelings and experiences.
My ejaculation varies–sometimes I can easily ejaculate while other times I can’t, but that’s not surprising, since the amount/ability to ejaculate depends on where you are in your menstrual cycle, as does its smell and taste (like with vaginal lubrication.) Obviously, it also depends on my mood, my arousal, and whether or not I want to make a mess that day.
I can control whether or not I ejaculate (so it’s definitely not “orgasmic incontinence.)” There have been a few times when I felt it was extremely urgent and perhaps I couldn’t have stopped it (read: uncontrollable, mind-blowing orgasms) but in general, I can control if and when I do it. Sometimes I choose not to, depending on the situation. It also does not always coincide with my orgasm. Sometimes it does, but sometimes I can squirt, then orgasm, then squirt some more…etc. I think it often enhances my g-spot orgasms, but I can also have g-spot orgasms without squirting. Men/people with penises too can learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, so this isn’t surprising. It also isn’t surprising that for some women it isn’t controllable, as it isn’t controllable for many men. How we orgasm and ejaculate obviously varies.
I’d also like to point out that there is nothing wrong with urinal incontinence, or peeing during sex play, but I am asserting that squirting is a different experience and should not be labeled as “peeing during sex.”
For the people who say, what’s the big deal, why are you getting so upset? It’s just science. Science is objective–no, science is influenced by culture, and science has historically ignored or even vilified female sexuality. Let’s not forget that not long ago, scientists thought that our wombs wandered about in our bodies, creating hysteria–a “disease” that could only be cured by stimulation of women’s sex organs by a doctor. Let’s not forget that in the past, scientists left blank spots on diagrams of women’s anatomy or did not understand its full capacity.
Sensationalizing biased, misinformed, and inconclusive studies is not harmless–it is destructive. In her Vagaculation workshop last year, Diana J. Torres talked about how young women she met in Spain had had their prostates (g-spots) removed unnecessarily because doctors mistook their ejaculation for incontinence. The female prostate is an integral part of vaginal sexual anatomy, and to have it removed (and therefore also the potential for g-spot/orgasmic pleasure) due to misinformation and negative views of squirting is horrifying.
Deborah Sundahl also discusses how if women are consciously or unconsciously afraid they might pee during sex, they sometimes routinely clamp down on their PC muscles to avoid what is actually ejaculation, which can contribute to chronic pelvic muscle tension, a serious physical problem. Not to mention the shame surrounding sexuality after hearing “you don’t have a g-spot” or “female ejaculation isn’t real” all around you, even if you know it’s bullshit. Hearing that ejaculation is just pee or that it’s gross and something to be avoided can damage a person’s sexuality and well-being, even if it’s unconscious.
It has not always been like this. Historically, many cultures have recognized and even celebrated female ejaculation. And even in our culture, many sex educators and sexuality pioneers like Deborah Sundahl, Shannon Bell, Tristan Taormino, and others, have been teaching about the g-spot and female ejaculation and hosting workshops to spread knowledge about it for years. There are tons of personal accounts from squirters, some right therewaiting for you to read (sex blogs!), sharing their stories of ejaculation and g-spot pleasure. It is not something we’re all “making up,” it’s not a porn star trick, it’s not a myth–it is real, and it is not pee.
If you’re still not convinced that squirting is real, and you think I’m full of shit, I challenge you to think about why you find the idea of squirting/female ejaculation so offensive, and why you want to dismiss it as “just pee.” I also encourage you to do your own research–read more about it before you jump on the bandwagon and share one of those articles with silly gifs that mock the valid, real, and incredibly important experiences of so many people like myself. I’ve already heard of people sharing these condescending articles as a way to shame and intimidate people who squirt, and that is disgusting and unacceptable. Think what you want about the topic, but don’t use any article or study to make someone feel bad about their natural sexual experience.
Leading sex blogger Epiphora wrote a brilliant response to the media’s coverage of this study, sharing her experiences with squirting and asking other people who squirt to share their experiences in the comments section of her post as well as on Twitter with the hashtag #notpee. If you’re a squirter, please help us dispel these negative myths about our sexuality by participating!
Update 1/17: Lux Alptraum also wrote a great piece on this subject for the Guardian.
Also, please feel free to share your experiences in my comments section or link to your posts about squirting!
Sundahl, Deborah. Female Ejaculation and the G-spot. 2nd ed. Nashville: Turner, 2014. Print.
Let’s cut to the chase: vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango and Touch make me thank goddess I have a clitoris.
If you’ve ever visited one of the big sex toy mega-stores, you know there is no shortage of vibrator options. The problem is that a lot of them are crap. Many are made of unsafe materials, and even the ones that are safe are often badly designed, or are too weak, or too buzzy.
If you’re not familiar with vibration types, “buzzy” vibration feels like a tickle–it’s also described as “surface level,” because it only stimulates the surface area where you put it. I can sometimes orgasm from buzzy vibrations, but the orgasms usually feel weak and unsatisfying.1 Rumbly vibrations on the other hand, travel further and deeper. So if you’re using a vibrator clitorally, a buzzy vibrator only stimulates the clitoral glans, or wherever you put it, whereas a rumbly vibrator will stimulate wherever you put it, as well as the deeper, inner clitoris. This translates to stronger, more satisfying orgasms.
Enter the We-Vibe Tango & Touch. The Tango is made of hard plastic and features a straight, “bullet,” lipstick-like design, with an angled tip, and the Touch is made of silky matte silicone, with a broader design that features a cup-like tip to cover the clit. The reason I’m reviewing them together is because although they have different designs, they feature the same motor.
And let’s talk about that motor–because it’s what makes these vibes so unique, and so amazing. It’s strong. Miraculously strong. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also super rumbly. Like, mini earthquakes rumbly. And strong, rumbly vibration=incredibly strong, intense orgasms. To whoever created that motor–you are a hero!
Since it’s smaller and made of hard plastic, the Tango is the stronger vibrator of the two. It’s so strong that I can use it over panties, and it’s also one of the only vibrators that can make me come without direct clitoral contact, its rumbly vibration awakening my inner clit. I am often greedy about my orgasms though, so I use it directly too, and I can come in record time. Like, Hitachi or Eroscillator fast…except it’s much smaller, and not a plug-in! The Tango’s angled tip is great for pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use its body for a little more surface area.
The Tango is so strong that one time while I was using it with Jake, I came almost the entire time we were having sex, and my vag got so tight from constant squeezing that Jake legit had a hard time staying inside of me. He had to thrust super hard to keep my vag from pushing him out. It’s also so fabulous that I’ve actually dreamed about masturbating with it. No one else was with me in my dream, nothing particularly interesting was happening…I was just using the Tango on my clit. It’s quite literally the stuff dreams are made of.
The Tango is also really versatile since it’s the same size as standard bullets, so you can use it to replace the generic bullets that come with a lot of vibrating dildos/butt plugs.
Since the Touch is broader and its vibrations have to travel through silicone, they’re dampened a little and not quite as strong as the Tango–but don’t get me wrong, they’re still strong. The Touch also offers more surface area, which I like, and it’s concave area is great for cupping my clit, surrounding it with vibration. During sex with a partner, I usually prefer using the Touch, because I don’t need vibration to be as strong during penetration, and it’s easier to hold. (And sometimes the Tango can actually be too stimulating/overwhelming for me during sex.)
Both the Tango and the Touch are powered by a single button and feature 4 steady vibration power levels as well as 4 vibration patterns. To change the vibration, you click the button, and it will cycle through the functions. If you turn off the vibe (by holding down the button for a couple of seconds) and then turn it back on, it starts on the setting you used last. I can come one the first power level using either toy…and then I can orgasm again if I keep going, moving on to the stronger levels. I don’t use it often because I usually prefer steady vibration, but I do enjoy the Wave pattern. I’m not a big fan of the other 3 though–they feel a little too robotic.
=oh goddess, yes!
=oh, fuck, yesssss!
=OMFG I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, YES!
=An enjoyable tease.
=Make it stop!
Not only are the Tango and Touch strong and rumbly, they’re also stealthy. A lot of vibrators claim to be whisper quiet–but in this case, they actually are. They’re I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch and want to orgasm really quickly before bed quiet. They’re come fast in the bathroom quiet. Hell, I bet they’re so quiet that you could use one in the bed next to a sleeping partner without waking them strong, though I haven’t tested that theory.
In addition to being strong, rumbly, and discreet, the Tango and Touch are also waterproof and rechargeable. They take 90 minutes to charge, and they last for up to 2 hours of use. When their batteries are running low, the power button blinks like a homing beacon, letting you know that you need to charge them ASAP. This can be somewhat annoying if they’re on your bed stand, but overall I appreciate this feature, because a Tango or Touch dying mid-use is excruciating.
So you’re probably thinking that there must be a downside to these vibes. They couldn’t be perfect, could they? They’re pretty damn close, but there are a few things. For one, the whole Tango vibrates, so your fingers do feel the vibration as well. This doesn’t happen as much with the Touch, though you still get a little bit of vibration in the handle part. I also wish the charge lasted longer. It seems that almost every day, they’re blinking, telling me to charge them again. And as I mentioned earlier, I don’t like most of the functions, but that’s not a big deal to me.
The last and worst problem, which applies to the Tango in particular, is that they can die easily. I’ve heard that We-Vibe updated their electrical boards since the first generation of Tangos to decrease the number of failed units, AKA sad, dead vibrators, which was a good move on We-Vibe’s part. My first version Tango died suddenly mid-wank one day, and to my dismay, it would never hold a charge after that. I’ve had my new Tango & Touch for 3 months now and haven’t had any problems, but I’ve heard some people still have. Still, they come with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty, so if that happens within the first year, you can get it replaced quickly.
The current Tango and Touch are the second generation, and there are a few differences from the original design. I had the original Tango, but I never tried the original Touch. The most important difference is that the old Touch was also not as strong and made of a different type of silicone that attracted link and hair more easily. The Tango is pretty much the same, with a slightly longer design. They both feature an updated, less finicky charger. For a detailed description of all of the differences between the old and new versions, check out Dangerous Lilly’s reviews.
So, which should you get?
Both! Ok, but if you have to choose…
If all you care about is having the most powerful vibrations, get the Tango. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit of vibration strength for a vibe that’s more ergonomic, or if you prefer broader stimulation or soft toys, get the Touch. They’re both strong, quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable, so you really can’t go wrong with either though, unless you don’t like powerful, rumbly vibration.
So what’s next on my wishlist from We-Vibe? The Dusk! I included it in my 15 sex toys I want to try in 2015 list, because Epiphora says you can have hands free orgasms with the Dusk+Tango…OMFG, y’all!
*The Tango & Touch were sent by We-Vibe in exchange for my honest review–thanks We-Vibe! If you buy through my links, I will receive a small commission. If you want to support my blog, please clear your cache & cookies first to ensure I get credit–thanks!
While I might not get to try all of these, I’d like to try at least half of them–wish me luck! Also, I’m constantly lusting after new toys–to see them all, check out my wishlist on Pinterest! Or, if you’re feeling super generous, you can buy me something anonymously through my Lovehoney wishlist!
1. Neon Wand+Power Tripper- I can’t shut up about how much I want the Neon Wand. When I visited my best friend in LA, we played with one in three different sex shops. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a device that discharges static electricity, which depending on the intensity you set it to, can range from feeling like a warm tingle to a focused sting. When paired with the Power Tripper, it basically turns you into a human-e-stim (electrical stimulation) device, so that when you touch someone, you send sparks and tingles to their skin. Um. NEED.
2. L’Amourose Rosa Rouge- Ever since I read Dangerous Lilly’s rave review, I’ve been dying to get my hands on the Rosa Rogue, a waterproof rechargeable vibrator with powerful vibration that also warms up! Lilly is super picky about vibes, so if she loves it, I’m pretty sure I will too!
Update 2/21–I got it! Stay tuned for my review!
3. NobEssence Seduction- The fact that I don’t have a Seduction yet is a travesty. Epiphora has deemed it part of “the trifecta” of basically perfect, miraculous g-spotting dildos, along with the Pure Wand & Comet Wand (my 2 fave dildos!)…so obviously I need one in my vagina, like yesterday. Also, it’s made of gorgeous sealed wood, and I need something to match my Romp in photos!
4. New York Toy Collective Shilo (Blue & Yellow)- I felt the Shilo when I was at the Pleasure Chest in LA last year, and its silicone was so squishy and fabulous. And just look at that juicy blue and yellow combo!
5. Fucking Sculptures G -Spoon (Medium)- I’ve lusted after FS dildos ever since they opened up shop, with their bad ass to the point name–FUCKING Sculptures–and their breathtaking glass designs…but it was Aerie’s review that really peaked my interest. In the review, Aerie says the G-Spoon helped them find their A-spot…an erogenous zone I’m not really familiar with. I love making new discoveries about my body, so I must try one, stat!
6. Stronic Eins- This is another toy that I’m a bit ashamed to admit I don’t have yet. It uses magics (ok, magnets) that make the toy thrust itself back and forth! Both Piph & Emma love it, and I’d really like to finally review one this year.
7. MyStim Tickling Truman- The Tickling Truman is a vibrator that also has has e-stim, sort of like a neon wand for your vag! I need to know what the tingling sensations feel like!
8. Njoy Eleven- The Njoy Eleven strikes equal parts fear and excitement in my vag…a 2″ girth and 2.75 lbs of stainless steel?! Can I do it?! I think I can! I have faith in the power of my vag.
9. Crave Vesper- It’s a vibrator that’s also a necklace! Y’all know I would so wear it everywhere. I’ve also never tried a Crave toy and want to change that.
10. Vixen Creations Randy- I’m addicted to Vixen’s squishy, realistic dual density VixSkin silicone and want to collect all of their dildos. Randy is at the top of my list though because it’s the girthiest one they make…it’s a beast that I want to conquer!
13. Tantus Cush- I’ve heard great things about the Cush from Epiphora & Aerie, and I’m always down for more Tantus, so I’d love to try the Cush. And I don’t usually like pink toys…but this one looks like cotton candy, and I want to eat it. And use it. And photograph it with cotton candy. Please and thank you.
I knew it would be hard to top 2013–which was a big blogging year for me with all of the amazing experiences and friends I made at CatalystCon and EroticonUSA, but 2014 was definitely an epic year too!
2. VagCam Aka see my vaginal canal during orgasm- This was probably my favorite overall blogging moment of the year–I pulled a Masters and Johnson and took a video of my vaginal canal during orgasm! What makes it even more impressive is the fact that I did it by myself–I put the speculum in, and then held Mona with my left hand & Gaga (the camera vibe) with my right, all while watching my laptop screen to make sure it was coming out ok. Hooray for multi-tasking!
3. Sex Blogger Life: Real Talk- As much as I love sex blogging, it’s not about sitting around and getting paid to masturbate. I cleared up some of the common misconceptions/assumptions about sex blogging, at least for me, in this post. It was also included as a top post on e[lust.]
Top 3 Self Portraits
1. Sex Blogger Life- I took these self portraits when I needed a new Bio photo…and I love how they came out!
2. Menstrual- In addition to being one of my favorites, this image was my most viewed from this year, and that makes me oh so happy. Menstrual blood is not something that has to be feared or dreaded…and come on, it looks hella cool on dildos & fingers!
2. A Closer Look- No, that isn’t my vulva in the image…but it sure looks like it, doesn’t it? I love this self portrait/illusion!
Top 3 Photos of Jake
1. Striped- Jake looks incredibly sexy lying on the floor naked in striped light, don’t you think?
2. Topped- I love the androgyny and mystery I captured in this shot.
3. Sleepyheads- A half naked Jake sleeping with our sweet kitty? Yes, please!
Top 3 Vampire Posts
So this isn’t a typical category obviously…but y’all know I’m a huge fan of vampires, so I’m making it one!
3. Review: Succu Dry Fleshlight- The fact that you can fuck a vampire mouth sex toy is amazing if you ask me. Read my review to see what Jake and I thought about it!
Granted, I didn’t go to a lot of events this year, but Diana J Torres’s Vagaculation Workshop at Forbidden Fruit was straight up game changing. I loved listening to her experiences and perspective on cunt ejaculation and the g-spot, or as she prefers to call it, the prostate. Her Pornoterrorismo performance was also nothing short of amazing–and I was actually less shocked by seeing her piercing herself, snorting salt, and being fisted on stage (among other things) during her ritual than I thought I would be.
What’s in store for 2015?
I definitely have some plans brewing, y’all! For one, I’m planning on opening a print shop on Etsy (right now I’m shooting for Feb. 1), and speaking of that, if there are any of my photos in particular that you love/would like to see available, please let me know! I also plan to work harder on my photography–I’m signed up for another challenging class, and I hope to have my work featured in some art shows next year.
Some other resolutions I have: write more consistently, learn more, attend more sex positive events, network with new people and hopefully visit some of my blogger friends throughout the country as well. And the usual–more self care, more exercise, more reading, more quality time with friends…and more sex toys of course! In fact, I’m planning on writing about some of the products I’m excited to try next year, so stay tuned for that!
What are y’all excited about for 2015? Have any suggestions for me/my blog? If so, please let me know in the comments!
This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)
LELO Mona 2- Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.
Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo- If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!
Vixen Creations Buck- Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.
Runner Up: Tantus Splash- I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.
Best Butt Toy
NobEssence Romp- I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!
Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie- I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!
Best BDSM Toy
Tantus Plunge- It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?
Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat- I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.
Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.
Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive- The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!
LELO Ida- My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa- The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.
LELO Smart Bead- I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.
Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand- I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.
Not exactly. If I had to sum up Mona Wave in a word it would be: disappointing. I don’t hate it and have (somewhat) enjoyed using it, but it could use some major improvements.
In case you haven’t heard of the original Mona, it’s a sleek, silicone, rechargeable vibrator designed for g-spot stimulation. I actually prefer mine for clitoral stimulation, especially combined with dildos because it’s fairly strong, with a wide range of vibration and an easy to grip handle. It’s not the holy grail of g-spot toys for me, but it is for many others. It’s widely loved, so much so that people have made shrines to it, they have back up Monas, and most sex bloggers sing its praises.
The new Mona Wave looks very similar to original Mona. It features the same silky smooth silicone and overall design– the main difference is its control panel, which is made of silicone (instead of hard plastic), with built in, seamless buttons that don’t light up (as opposed to regular Mona’s, which do.) And obviously, it has motion. Here’s a quick overview of its functions:
1- Motion, with vibration
2- Slower motion, with waves of vibration (Useless)
3- Motion, with waves of vibration (My favorite)
4- Motion, quick pulsing vibration
5- Motion, erratic pulsing/waving vibration
6- Motion, no vibration
7- Steady vibration
8- Waves of vibration
9- Quick pulsing vibration
10- Erratic pulsing/waving vibration
I am often in the mood for lazy orgasms (that’s why I still love my Hitachi), so I thought I’d love that the Mona Wave could move around inside of me by itself. It took me quite a bit of finagling it around to see what worked, but after a while, I found the way it works best for me–holding onto it firmly, pushing the handle down, so its arm moves up against my g-spot. Holding it any other way just doesn’t give my g-spot enough pressure or do much for me. Since I have to grip it firmly to take advantage of its motion, it’s somewhat awkward for me to hold. And I’ve tried thrusting with it, but the feeling of the motion is lost when I do, which kind of defeats the purpose of a moving vibrator.
At first, Mona Wave’s arm feels good–sort of like a finger. I start to get that need to squirt g-spot feeling with minimal effort…but then I want need more. If I was using a dildo, this is the time when I’d start thrusting harder and faster. If I was with a partner, they’d move faster, add another finger, something to up the intensity.
The problem with Mona Wave is that its movement is not adjustable, nor is its speed. It only moves 30 degrees. It will not go any faster. And when I get tired of the first mode (movement+vibration) and click through to the second function to try something else, it actually gets slower, which pisses me off every time. I do enjoy the third function’s waving vibration+movement, but the movement still isn’t what I’d like it to be. I can orgasm from it, but I rarely squirt. And when I do, it’s usually the Tiniest Squirt Ever. It just doesn’t have the intensity I need to leave my legs shaking and my Throesoaked.
The Mona Wave is touted as offering a come hither motion for “finger-like” g-spot stimulation. When I picture “finger-like motion,” I picture something curling up inside of me, tugging on my g-spot, stroking it, moving faster when needed. I don’t picture a finger that only moves 30 degrees and stays at the same damn speed the whole time. When I first got the Mona Wave, I sent a video of it to my best friend. “That’s it? That is so not a come hither motion” was her reaction. Yep–that pretty much sums it up.
Notes from my 1st time trying the new #LELOMonaWave: it feels like having sex with a robot (sound effects & all.)
When I use Mona Wave clitorally, all I can think is robot finger. Since I can hold Mona Wave and allow it to stroke my clit, it does feel similar to a finger touching me, which is pretty damn cool–a robot finger, granted, because the movement is metronomical, but still cool. Since its pace is predictable, it takes me a long time to come, but when I finally do after all of the build up, it feels pretty explosive. I still think it would benefit from more variance in speed and movement clitorally though, just as it would for g-spot stimulation.
There’s one major problem with the Mona Wave’s motion though, y’all, no matter how you’re using it: the weird noise. The original Mona isn’t exactly silent, but at least I can easily tune out its low hum of vibration. I cannot tune out Mona Wave’s annoying sound. It’s so obnoxious that Jake could hear it from the other room, where he was sawing wood. No joke. Not even wearing headphones and listening to porn will drown it out. It is incredibly distracting and the biggest deterrent to me wanting to use it.
Vibration wise, Mona Wave feels slightly less powerful at full power than regular Mona, which is also a shame. Otherwise, it’s similar, with the same moderately rumbly vibration at its lower settings and buzzier vibrations at its stronger levels. It also has less vibration functions, 4 vs Mona’s 10.
Using the Mona Wave’s control panel is a little different from Mona–instead of pressing the +/- buttons to start and adjust the vibration and then the ▲/▼ buttons to cycle through the functions, you simply click the middle of the panel, and it will turn on and begin at the last setting you used, which is pretty rad and also makes it easier to quickly turn off. It’s slightly harder to find the buttons during use, since they aren’t raised and don’t light up like regular Mona’s, but you could argue that it’s easier to clean since the buttons don’t have crevices. Like Mona, you can adjust the vibration power during any function with the +/- buttons. You also have the option making its curve more prominent if you hit the ▲ button to stop it just right when switching from motion to its steady vibration mode.
As is standard of LELO toys, Mona Wave is waterproof/submergible, rechargeable (2 hours for full charge), and comes with a satin storage bag, a sample LELO lube packet, and a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty/10 year guarantee.
I wish LELO had asked me to test out the Mona Wave before it was released, because I think it has the potential to be a fantastic vibrator with some improvements. Obviously, the sound needs to go, and I wish it could move faster and possibly more than 30 degrees. If it had a motion function that had a sort of unpredictable, erratic movement so you didn’t know what was coming (like a real finger)–that’d be even better.
As is though, I don’t recommend dropping $179 on it. Sure, it can make me come–but its sound is a constant annoyance, and I don’t want my orgasms mixed with frustration. If it was as strong as Mona and wasn’t so damn loud, I’d probably recommend getting it over regular Mona because why not have the option of masturbating with a robot finger? And hello, just look at the gorgeous blue one!1 And if it moved more and faster, maybe I could forgive its awful sound. But since it’s loud and doesn’t give me what I want, I’ll rarely use it. Unless LELO fixes some of the issues I’ve mentioned, I’m staying loyal to regular Mona.
I should disclaim here that I’m not a huge fan of regular Mona’s shape for g-spot stimulation, so there’s a chance you might love the Mona Wave’s motion even though I don’t. If you don’t need a lot of movement or speed for g-spot stimulation and think you can get over the noise, go for it. If the sound makes you so frustrated that you throw it against the wall though, I’ll have to say I told you so.
All of that said, I did have some epic double Mona orgasms (with Mona Wave pushing up on my g-spot and original Mona on my clit) that almost let me overlook its noise…but I shouldn’t need 2 versions of a toy to enjoy it properly. And come on, for $179 I expect a vibrator that doesn’t sound like a cheap POS. $179 buys a lot of pizza.
If you want it, get the Mona Wave directly from Lelo or from SheVibe, one of my fave retailers.
Thanks for sending me the Mona Wave in exchange for my honest review, LELO!