Category Archives: Writing

7 sex toys I want to try in 2017

2016 was kind of a shit show, and I didn’t try as many new toys as I’d like, but here’s to hoping this year is better–let’s start with a list of the top 7 toys I’m dying to try in 2017!

1. B.J. Dildo–Some of you may know of or remember Mr. Man, a dildo with a hole through the shaft that creates clit suction during a dildo blow job. It’s been discontinued for years now, but I was lucky enough to try Epiphora‘s last year, and it was marvelous. I loved it so much that I had my partner try to recreate it by drilling a hole into one of my less used dildos, but sadly it didn’t pan out. But alas, there’s a new B.J. Dildo now! And it comes in a lovely green! Someone just buy me one and attach it to my clit now, please and thanks.

 

2. Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable–The fact that I don’t have one of these yet is a travesty. I am one of the BIGGEST Hitachi fans out there, and I think the only reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m kinda old school, and the ancient plug-in Hitachi is still my bae. But I would like to get with the times and be able to share the Hitachi’s glory with others (the rechargeable has a silicone head), or bring it camping (I don’t really camp but if I ever do Hitachi will definitely need to come), and just use the new one’s lower settings (or would I even? who knows.) Plus my Hitachi is getting kind of lonely and could use some company.

 

3. Hole Punch Rad-ish— I’ve been wanting to try something from Hole Punch for a while now, and I want it to be the rad-ish because I’m vegan af and want to collect all of the veggie sex toys (and because Piph said the Plugs Bunny is too long, and yea, it looks too long.) Is it ridiculous if I say my butt is hungry for the rad-ish?

 

4. Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble–I honestly don’t know if I could even handle this dildo but damn I want to try, especially after how much Kate and other friends have raved about it. And I need more glass in my collection! And more big toys so I can work my way up and hopefully be able to fit the huge dildo I made last year in my vagina someday.

 

5. L’Amourose Prism V— I was sent the similar Prism VII last year, and it’s rumbly and gorgeous, but I want the version without the clitoral arm and also want to compare the two. Plus I just want more L’Amourose toys because they’re amazing.

 

6. Leyland Rainbow Glitter Riding Crop–Ever since I saw Artemisia’s review (and photos, damn just go look now for eyegasms), I’ve wanted this crop. It’s synthetic/vegan friendly and it’s so damn pretty. And I used to have a crop years ago that I loved which got ruined and want to replace it. Plus rainbow sparkles!

 

7. Split Peaches Unicorn Horn— It’s a rainbow unicorn horn dildo. Need I say more?

Also, I didn’t include some toys I’m still lusting over from my 2015 list because I didn’t want to be repetitive but I SO SO SO still want the SeductionEleven, G-Spoon, & Shilo.

Which toys are you dying to try in 2017? Let me know in the comments!

 

Don’t say her name

pennysblog_dontsayhername

“Don’t say her name.”

I’m tied tight, spread eagle on hard marble. The thick metal binding my wrists and ankles is cold, contrasting with my flushed skin. Sweat drips down my neck like blood. He notices. He does that thing with his lips.

I try to keep my cool. I’m in control, right? If anyone walked in on us, they would certainly think otherwise.

“You miss her, don’t you?” I ask.

He growls, and one black nail-polished finger traces my cheek.

“No, I don’t,” he whispers, in the accent that makes my cunt clench and my blood race.

It’s like he’s ignoring the rest of my (naked) body. He knows my cheek it about the last place I want him to touch right now. He grins, and I feel like he can read my thoughts.

“Yes you do,” I tease. “I bet you’ll think of her tight, sweet pussy when you fuck me.”

His teeth are sharp, but so are my words.

“Shut up!” he says, gripping my chin firmly.

He tilts my head up. I’m sure he can smell how wet I am by now. He looks down my length, examining my round, luscious breasts, my hardened nipples, my smooth legs, my little bush, my lips.

“You’ll regret taunting me later, pet,” he breathes, rolling his eyes slightly.

His skin is almost glowing in the moonlight. If I wasn’t tied, I’d grip his peroxide blonde hair and jump on top of him. But that’s not the game tonight. Speaking of games, it’s about time I get things moving already. I can’t wait any longer.

“Oh, someone’s touchy,” I say, locking my blue eyes with his, “I guess vampires don’t take rejection well. Especially rejection from the Slayer.”

He doesn’t move, but I can feel him stiffen. I know exactly what to say to make him hurt. To make him want to hurt me.

“So it’s gonna be like that, love?”

He steps away cooly, rumbling in his nearby chest. His strained expression changes to a cruel smile as he holds up the black metal clamps, and before I can even tense up, my nipples are on fire. For a moment I wonder if this was a bad idea, but it’s too late to go back now.

“What would she think about you fucking another cute little blonde girl?”

Before I can say more, he’s on top of me, hovering about an inch above, one hand supporting his weight, the other pulling my panties up towards him. Hard. He moves so fast. The black cotton digs into my labia. He pulls it up tighter, and it hurts like hell. I don’t flinch.

“Aww, you miss her so much, don’t you?” I ask in taunting almost baby talk. “The Slay—.”

“Don’t say her bloody name,” he grunts, ripping my panties off easily.

“Fuck!”

Who knew cotton could hurt so much?

“Don’t. Say. Her. Name,” he says again as he pulls the chain connecting my breasts, the clamps snapping off, leaving my nipples throbbing.

“Slayer!” I hiss. I bite at his ear, but I can’t reach. His free hand fumbles with his zipper, his other tightly around my neck. He’s no longer hovering. I’m caught beneath his weight, his icy skin pressed against my warmth. I can barely breathe, and I’m tingling all over.

His huge, hard cock tells me he loves my teasing, even if he claims otherwise. We lock eyes again, and he rubs his cheek against mine softly, almost sweetly. But I don’t want him sweet, not tonight.

“Buffy” I whisper…

I’m silenced by his nearly lethal grip, by his cold cock parting my warm, wet lips.

“You’ll regret that,” he growls, thrusting hard.

I almost believe him.

***

For more Spike fan fic, check out Let’s Play a Game!

kink-of-the-weeklips-mark-sq125

Review: Hot Octopuss Pulse

pennysblog_hotoctopusspulse1

While vibrators in general aren’t exclusive to clits and vaginas, there aren’t a lot of vibes designed specifically with penises in mind, so my partner Jake was excited to try out the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo.

The Pulse is a masturbator style vibrator made of silicone, with a motor that vibrates against the frenulum and two flexible wings that wrap around the shaft. There are two versions of the Pulse–the Solo, which has just the internal motor, and the one I have, the Duo, that’s marketed as a couples’ toy and features a second remote controlled external motor for use with a partner. My Pulse is also the updated model–it’s now waterproof and has 5 patterns in addition to steady vibration.

As excited as Jake was about the Pulse initially, I could tell it was a dud for him when after only trying it a couple of times he said “oh, I guess I have to try that thing again” like it was homework instead of a treat.

It’s not that it’s a totally crappy toy–the internal motor has strong, rumbly vibration, it’s made of high quality silicone, and it’s fairly easy to use, with an on/off button on the left side and +/- intensity controls on the right where your hand rests, though it is rather bulky and heavy.

The problem is the Pulse’s strokability. The instructions claim that it can be used as either just a vibrator without lube or as a typical masturbator with lube, but since the silicone is rigid and bulky, it’s not easily thrustable, even with lube. The stiff silicone hits Jake’s head if he tries to stroke with it, which is uncomfortable, so he’s stuck using it stationary with only the vibration, which is stimulating at first, but without any motion becomes desensitizing. Using it for too long has actually makes him loose his erection, which is definitely a fail. He’d rather use a Fleshlight, a Tenga Egg, his hand, or pretty much anything rather than use the Pulse again now that we’re done reviewing it.

But what about using the Pulse as a “couples’ toy,” since it has an external motor?

pennysblog_hotoctopusspulse2First off, Jake doesn’t love vibration by itself, so obviously he wasn’t going to love it1, but we tried it anyways (because #sexbloggerlyfe.)

The external motor has 3 steady speeds and is decently strong, but unlike the internal motor its vibration is buzzy2, which insults my clit. It’s also hard to keep it in place. We tried it with him on top, but if he moved a certain way, it felt abrasive. With me on top it was slightly better, but one slap on my boobs or twitch and it’d move away from where it felt best on my clit. Oh, and did I mention that it makes a horrible rattling sound?

So basically it was like Jake was wearing a bulky, loud cock ring except that you can’t have penetrative sex with it on. And I’m totally down with vibration instead of penetration but having to grind on my partner with an obnoxious chunk of silicone between us with buzzy, loud vibrations, hoping that it won’t move and rub my clit the wrong way is just ridiculous. I’ll stick to using a normal rumbly vibe I can control myself, thanks.

The only way I kind of enjoyed the Pulse was around Mustang Royale positioned over my vulva as if it was my cock. Some vibration did transfer while holding it at the base of Mustang, but not enough to get me off.

For us, the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo was a mega fail. Jake will never use it again now that our review is done, and I’d rather give up pizza for a month than use it again during partner sex. It wasn’t quite as bad as Ida, but still, remind me to never agree to review a “couples’ toy” again, please.

Although I’m hesitant to say that just because a toy doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you3, in this case it’s true. I know some others who love the Pulse, and if you have a penis and enjoy vibration without stroking, you might like it. The internal motor is strong, like Eroscillator strong, and since it’s open, people with erectile dysfunction can still enjoy it while flaccid, which is great.

If you do want to try the Pulse, I’d get the Pulse Solo–I don’t recommend using it for couples’ play anyways, and it’s $40 cheaper. Since it’s silicone, stick to water based lubes with it.

Thanks Hot Octopuss for sending me the Pulse in exchange for an honest review!

*Dildo pictured: VixSkin Tex


  1. you can only turn on the external vibration if the internal motor is on 

  2. aka surface level vibration/vibration that doesn’t stimulate the deeper inner clitoris & usually results in lackluster orgasms if any for me 

  3. because some toys just suck 

Review: Fucking Sculptures Corkscrew

pennysblog_fscorkscrew

Y’all know I love photographing sex toys. And the Corkscrew, with its spacey, twisted design and gorgeously crafted black glass, appeals to the photo nerd in me. But I can’t orgasm from looking through my viewfinder, so let’s talk about how it feels.

Fucking Sculptures makes a variety of gorgeous soda-lime glass dildos like the medium Corkscrew I was sent to review. Since they’re handmade, each FS toy has slight variations, notably in size, and although mine is labeled a medium, I’d call it a small–its girth is about 1.4″ at the widest point, (and it quickly tapers down to about 1″), and it has less than 5 insertable inches since you have to grasp its tip to thrust. Size isn’t everything, but the medium Corkscrew is definitely smaller than I’d prefer, and I was skeptical that I’d enjoy it.

pennysblog_fscorckscrew2I was right. This note from my masturbation journal sums up my experience: it’s so pretty, I wish I liked it more.

The Corkscrew has a nice curve, and pushing down on its handle pushes its head up against my g-spot–but it doesn’t have much weight or girth, so it lacks any intensity, and since it’s small and super smooth, I don’t notice its pretty texture.

Just because a toy is small doesn’t mean it can’t pack a punch, but this dildo doesn’t. The Slow Drive is similar size-wise, but unlike the Corkscrew it can quickly induce squirty feels1. I’m also cool with toys that don’t provide a lot of direct g-spot stimulation if they offer other unique sensations, like the Crystal Twist, but the Corkscrew just feels lackluster.

For a dildo to impress me, it needs to have more than looks. It needs to have some girth, a bulbous head, a good g-spot curve, memorable texture, or some combination of the above. I don’t expect every toy to absolutely wow me, but it’s like the Corkscrew isn’t even trying. If it disappeared from my collection, the photographer in me would be sad, but my vagina would be indifferent.

If you’re looking for a small glass dildo that glides smoothly and provides light stimulation, you might enjoy the Corkscrew. But I’d gladly trade mine for a g-spoon–I tried Aerie’s last year at dildo holiday and liked it, though the memory is hazy now2. I’d also love to try the Double Trouble since my friend Girly Juice raves about it.

Thanks Fucking Sculptures for sending me the Corkscrew to review!


  1. not to mention it’s way cheaper 

  2. come back to me g-spoon… 

Making sure my sex toy collection is vegan friendly

pennysblog_vegansextoysI went vegan a few months ago, so in addition to changing what I eat and going through my clothes, makeup, and toiletries, I also went through my sex toy collection to get rid of anything that’s not vegan friendly1**.

Some things were obvious–leather and fur are definitely not vegan so I gave away the few leather paddles I had as well as my tail butt plug.

But what about everything else? Are dildos and vibrators vegan? What about lube, condoms, and other safer sex barriers?

Sex Toys: Dildo, Vibes, Plugs, Etc.

When I first went vegan, I read a book called Vegan Freak and was glad that it included a short section about sex things. It mentioned that silicone is a vegan friendly sex toy material (yay!) and to avoid jelly rubber because it can contain mystery ingredients, and there’s no way of knowing if it’s vegan unless the manufacturer explicitly says it is. But y’all probably already know that jelly toys are a bad idea anyways since they’re porous and often contain toxic ingredients, so that’s no surprise.

Since silicone, stainless steel, and glass are all great options (and that’s what almost all of my toys are made of), most of my collection was safe–hooray! I wasn’t sure about our Fleshlight though since they don’t list the ingredients in their Superskin material, but I contacted them, and they said it’s fine, also yay!2

Kink Items

Unfortunately a lot of restraints and impact toys are made of leather, but there are also faux leather and other vegan options. As I mentioned earlier, I got rid of a couple of leather paddles I had, but most of what I had is vegan friendly, like my Bettie Page paddle, Tantus Plunge, and Twisted Monk rope. My fave harness is also fine, thank goddess! If you’re looking for vegan kink things, check out my friend Artemisia’s epic list.

Lube

Many drugstore lubes contain glycerin or other animal derived ingredients and are not vegan3. Luckily my favorite brand of lube is Sliquid, which is 100% vegan friendly! My faves are the classic H2O water based and thicker Sassy for anal, but they also carry silicone and flavored varieties. Überlube silicone lube is also a great option (just don’t use it with silicone toys.)4

Condoms & Safer Sex Barriers

Most mainstream latex condom brands are produced with casein (milk protein), but luckily there are some companies that don’t test on animals or use any animal ingredients like Sir Richards and Sustain condoms. Check out my list of vegan safer sex barriers for more info.!

*Pictured: Tantus Adam, Sliquid Sassy, Sir Richards/Sustain condoms

**I did my best to make sure this post is accurate but if you’re not sure if something is vegan and are concerned about it, check out the company’s website or contact them. Some products don’t contain animal ingredients but may be owned by a company that does make products with animal derived ingredients or that does test on animals, so unless the company is certified/advertises as vegan, make your best judgement.


  1. anything that contains animal derived ingredients 

  2. They said Fleshlube water is fine as well but Fire Lubricant isn’t because it contains honey extract. 

  3. and could also be potentially irritating 

  4. They don’t advertise as vegan but I contacted them & they confirmed. 

Updates: Be a Sex Blogger Class, V-Day Goodies, FebPhotoFest

Be a Sex Blogger Class

sexbloggerclass

If you’ve ever wondered how to get started as a sex blogger, or if you’ve already started a blog and want to take it to the next level, now’s the time! Epiphora and JoEllen are teaching their epic Business of Blogging About Sex class again this May, and I’m doing photography critiques again!

The class covers everything from creating quality content to building a social media following to how to turn your blog into a profitable business. This time around they’re offering individual studies and lessons, but you only get personalized photography feedback from me if you take the group class in May.

*If you want to be a bad-ass sex blogger, use code PENNY for $10 off the group class!*

V-Day Goodies

pdpbanner_vdaysale_600px

Sex toy coasters, magnets, photo prints–get your partner(s) something unique for Valentine’s Day this year! Everything in my shop (including sets & already discounted items) is 20% off with code HEART, now-2/5! Or, go that extra mile and get them sex toys and matching art! Here are some of my faves:

Dildos

Vibes

Butt Stuff

If you are going the sex toy route, here are my top recommendations for where to shop:

Tantus makes high quality, affordable silicone toys, and they have a some rad bundle deals right now, like 25% off when you get a paddle+gag, PLUS get 15% off your purchase with code PENNY at checkout!

slideshow_4

SheVibe is my fave retailer and you can get 15% off & free shipping if you order $75 or more with code HAPPY, this weekend only! Mona is on sale too!

slide_15_off_cupid-CODE

*PS The toy that led to my first mmf threesome is also on sale right now at Stockroom!

FebPhotoFest

This will be my third year of FebPhotoFest, y’all, which means I will post at least one image every day during February! If you’re looking forward to my images, please consider supporting me on Patreon!

Here are a few of the images I shared last year:

I’m the Kinkly Sex Blogger of the Month!

pennysblog_sexbloggerlife2

I’m honored to share that I’m the Kinkly Sex Blogger of the Month for October! Head over to Kinkly to read my interview to find out what inspired me to start blogging, which post is my most popular ever, and more!

Right now is also the time to vote for your favorite Sex Blogging Superheros of 2015, so if you enjoy my blog, please vote for meThanks for your support, y’all!

kinkly_logo_352x102

4 Year Blogiversary Giveaway & Sale!

pennysblog__giveawaysalebanner

Today is my 4 Year Blogiversary y’all, and to celebrate I’m hosting a sex toy goodies giveaway & sale!

Giveaway

This year, I have 2 fabulous prizes for y’all to choose from. Feel free to enter for both! (But you can only win one.) pennysblog_sextoyandmatchingcoaster1. Your choice of Comet Wand, Pure Wand, or Pure Plug PLUS a matching coaster or print!

In case you haven’t heard, the Comet Wand & Pure Wand are both EPIC g-spotting toys, and the Pure Plug is basically butt magic.  SheVibe, my rad sponsor, will send the winner their choice of toy directly, and I’ll send the matching coaster or 5×7 print! This prize is open to countries SheVibe ships to (US, Canada, UK, & AU.)

Penny’s Blogiversary Giveaway (sex toy+matching coaster)


  pennysblog_sextoyprintscoastersmagnets

2. Your choice of ANY listing from my Etsy shop! (Yes, including sets!)

Sex toy coasters, magnets, prints…the choice is yours! You can pick any listing1 that’s still available in my shop when my giveaway ends on October 16th. If you’re in the US, I will pay for shipping, and if you don’t live in the US, you’re welcome to enter as long as you’re ok with pitching in for shipping costs via PayPal.

Penny’s Blogiversary Giveaway (Any Penny’s Dirty Prints listing)


Sale

pennysblog_sextoycoastersmagnets

Why wait for the giveaway to end–get sex toy goodies NOW for 25% off with code 4YEARS at checkout! (Sale ends on October 16th!) Save even more by getting one of my coaster or print sets, which are already discounted! If there are any coasters or magnets you have your heart set on, get them while you can because I’m planning on rotating designs, and these might not be available again for a while!

 


  1. including print, coaster, & magnet sets 

7 Things I’ve done with my partner that I never thought I would

pennysblog_7years7 years ago today, I met my partner when he served me slices of pizza one tipsy night on 6th Street. 7 years later, we’re still together and stronger than ever, even though we’re both a lot different now than we were back then.

It may surprise you, but 7 years ago, I wasn’t the open minded, sex-positive human I am now. Back then, I was having lots of sex, but I still had a lot of sex negative hang ups, and there was a lot I didn’t know. To celebrate my partner & I’s anniversary and the sexual discoveries we’ve made together, here are 7 things I’ve tried with him that I never thought I would 7 years ago.

1. Anal Sex– Even when I started working at a sex shop (less than a year into our relationship) and began learning about the plethora of anal toy options, I didn’t think I’d actually want to play with my own butt. I used to think, but poop comes out of there! Now I love putting things in my butt! (And surprise, gross things sometimes come out of my mouth and vag too, but I never thought oral and vag sex were weird so…) Butts are full of sensitive nerve endings, and butt play is now an awesome part of my sexual repertoire. Bring on the butt toys and thick lube!

2. Pegging– This goes along with #1, but back when I first learned what pegging was, I thought it was even less likely that I’d put things in Jake’s butt than in mine. I remember my manager at the shop saying, you should try it with Jake…and I thought he’d never do that! I thought he’d think I was a weirdo for even asking. As it turns out, I was actually projecting my own hangups onto my partner…in fact, he’d tried butt things before we were together, and exploring pegging wasn’t a big deal. Communication is key!

3. Squirting– As with pegging, when I first met Jake, I didn’t even know what squirting was. Then I got a hold of Deborah Sundahl’s book… and the rest is history. It wasn’t as simple as reading the book and squirting the next day, but once I learned where my g-spot is, how to stimulate it, and how to get over the fear of being messy during sex, I was on the right track. Now I soak throes and knee socks and write about it!

4. Threesomes– I used to have issues with jealousy. If you can believe it, I used to get jealous of girls who flirted with Jake at work (he’s a bartender.) I used to think that I was supposed to be jealous, and that I was supposed to somehow magically be the only person my partner is attracted to (which doesn’t make sense, since I’m attracted to other people as well.) Years later, we are now non-monogamous and have had quite a few fun threesome experiences that have brought us even closer together.

5. Double Penetration– This could fall under anal sex or threesomes, but I think it warrants its own number. I remember one of the first porn scenes I saw in High School was a DP, and I remember thinking why would anyone do that, ever. Now I know. Because the amazing, intense feeling of being filled and fucked is overwhelming in the best way.

6. Watching Porn Together– I used to think porn was bad. I thought it was only for men. I thought it was demeaning. When I started working at the shop, I realized lots of people watch porn, and that it’s normal. Sure, there is still some problematic porn, but there’s also empowering, hot, ethical porn. In fact, watching porn with my partner led to us talking about things we saw like squirting and threesomes, which led the way to many of the fun experiences we had later on!

7. Electrosex– Of all the things I never thought I’d do, this one is probably the most shocking (pun intended.) If present Penny traveled to Penny of 2008 and told her one day she’d like getting zapped by a wand that looks like it belongs to a kinky mad scientist, she’d be like WHHHAT?! Oh, past Penny, the things you were missing out on!

Jake and I have tried a lot of new things together, sexual and otherwise…but there’s still so much to explore! What are some things you’ve tried that you never thought you would? Feel free to share in the comments!

rainbowcircle1-150

e[lust] #74

E[lust] is a collecion of some of the best sex writing on the web–this month’s edition includes my post, 5 Reasons Woodhull was an Amazing Experience.

Welcome to Elust #74

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #75? Start with the rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Machine
She wanted to let the light in…
Reflections on the Male Nude

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Trudy
Is it play acting?

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Can a Woman be a Good Mother and Write a Sex Blog

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7

days.Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Continue reading »