For me, the Spareparts Joque is a story of firsts. It was my first harness. It was my first time experimenting with having a cock. It was the harness I wore the first time my partner and I tried pegging. The first time I had strap-on sex with a girl I wore Joque, with Tie-Bright Mustang, of course.
And I’m glad Joque was my first–it’s everything I’m looking for in a harness–it’s comfortable, versatile, easy to use, and sexy.
The Joque is easy to put on–it’s as simple as stepping into it, inserting a dildo into the o-ring, and then adjusting the belt and leg straps. Within minutes of its arrival, I had Adam through it and pranced around my apartment, enjoying the new feeling of having a cock. I’ve since worn it many times, and the best thing about it is how quickly and effortlessly I can get it on, so I can go from I want you to fuck me to thrusting action in no time.
Once it’s on, it’s super comfortable. When I’m wearing a strap-on, I don’t want to think about the harness, I just want to think about my partner and my cock, and the Joque allows me to do just that. It also has two pockets on the inside lining for bullet vibrators (that’s perfect for my beloved Tango), one above and one below the o-ring, but I only use one (the lower one because it hits my clit better). I’d like to get another and try using two at once.
Another quality that’s really important for me in a harness is how easy it is to clean–and the Joque is machine washable, which I love. If I want to wash it right away I’ll hand wash it, but otherwise I just add it in to wash with my laundry.
Joque comes in two sizes (check out the size chart to see which to get) and is made of lightweight nylon and spandex. It’s also ethically made by hand in the US and is vegan friendly–yay!
In the Joque’s product description it claims to be “the only harness you’ll every need” and I definitely agree. The only other reason I’d get more harnesses would be solely for variation in photos/to try some more femme styles, but the Joque is everything I need function wise.
While vibrators in general aren’t exclusive to clits and vaginas, there aren’t a lot of vibes designed specifically with penises in mind, so my partner Jake was excited to try out the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo.
The Pulse is a masturbator style vibrator made of silicone, with a motor that vibrates against the frenulum and two flexible wings that wrap around the shaft. There are two versions of the Pulse–the Solo, which has just the internal motor, and the one I have, the Duo, that’s marketed as a couples’ toy and features a second remote controlled external motor for use with a partner. My Pulse is also the updated model–it’s now waterproof and has 5 patterns in addition to steady vibration.
As excited as Jake was about the Pulse initially, I could tell it was a dud for him when after only trying it a couple of times he said “oh, I guess I have to try that thing again” like it was homework instead of a treat.
It’s not that it’s a totally crappy toy–the internal motor has strong, rumbly vibration, it’s made of high quality silicone, and it’s fairly easy to use, with an on/off button on the left side and +/- intensity controls on the right where your hand rests, though it is rather bulky and heavy.
The problem is the Pulse’s strokability. The instructions claim that it can be used as either just a vibrator without lube or as a typical masturbator with lube, but since the silicone is rigid and bulky, it’s not easily thrustable, even with lube. The stiff silicone hits Jake’s head if he tries to stroke with it, which is uncomfortable, so he’s stuck using it stationary with only the vibration, which is stimulating at first, but without any motion becomes desensitizing. Using it for too long has actually makes him loose his erection, which is definitely a fail.He’d rather use a Fleshlight, a Tenga Egg, his hand, or pretty much anything rather than use the Pulse again now that we’re done reviewing it.
But what about using the Pulse as a “couples’ toy,” since it has an external motor?
First off, Jake doesn’t love vibration by itself, so obviously he wasn’t going to love it1, but we tried it anyways (because #sexbloggerlyfe.)
The external motor has 3 steady speeds and is decently strong, but unlike the internal motor its vibration is buzzy2, which insults my clit. It’s also hard to keep it in place. We tried it with him on top, but if he moved a certain way, it felt abrasive. With me on top it was slightly better, but one slap on my boobs or twitch and it’d move away from where it felt best on my clit. Oh, and did I mention that it makes a horrible rattling sound?
So basically it was like Jake was wearing a bulky, loud cock ring except that you can’t have penetrative sex with it on. And I’m totally down with vibration instead of penetration but having to grind on my partner with an obnoxious chunk of silicone between us with buzzy, loud vibrations, hoping that it won’t move and rub my clit the wrong way is just ridiculous. I’ll stick to using a normal rumbly vibe I can control myself, thanks.
The only way I kind of enjoyed the Pulse was around Mustang Royale positioned over my vulva as if it was my cock. Some vibration did transfer while holding it at the base of Mustang, but not enough to get me off.
For us, the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo was a mega fail. Jake will never use it again now that our review is done, and I’d rather give up pizza for a month than use it again during partner sex. It wasn’t quite as bad as Ida, but still, remind me to never agree to review a “couples’ toy” again, please.
Although I’m hesitant to say that just because a toy doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you3, in this case it’s true. I know some others who love the Pulse, and if you have a penis and enjoy vibration without stroking, you might like it. The internal motor is strong, like Eroscillator strong, and since it’s open, people with erectile dysfunction can still enjoy it while flaccid, which is great.
If you do want to try the Pulse, I’d get the Pulse Solo–I don’t recommend using it for couples’ play anyways, and it’s $40 cheaper. Since it’s silicone, stick to water based lubes with it.
Thanks Hot Octopuss for sending me the Pulse in exchange for an honest review!
Y’all know I love photographing sex toys. And the Corkscrew, with its spacey, twisted design and gorgeously crafted black glass, appeals to the photo nerd in me. But I can’t orgasm from looking through my viewfinder, so let’s talk about how it feels.
Fucking Sculptures makes a variety of gorgeous soda-lime glass dildos like the medium Corkscrew I was sent to review. Since they’re handmade, each FS toy has slight variations, notably in size, and although mine is labeled a medium, I’d call it a small–its girth is about 1.4″ at the widest point, (and it quickly tapers down to about 1″), and it has less than 5 insertable inches since you have to grasp its tip to thrust. Size isn’t everything, but the medium Corkscrew is definitely smaller than I’d prefer, and I was skeptical that I’d enjoy it.
I was right. This note from my masturbation journal sums up my experience: it’s so pretty, I wish I liked it more.
The Corkscrew has a nice curve, and pushing down on its handle pushes its head up against my g-spot–but it doesn’t have much weight or girth, so it lacks any intensity, and since it’s small and super smooth, I don’t notice its pretty texture.
Just because a toy is small doesn’t mean it can’t pack a punch, but this dildo doesn’t. The Slow Drive is similar size-wise, but unlike the Corkscrew it can quickly induce squirty feels1. I’m also cool with toys that don’t provide a lot of direct g-spot stimulation if they offer other unique sensations, like the Crystal Twist, but the Corkscrew just feels lackluster.
For a dildo to impress me, it needs to have more than looks. It needs to have some girth, a bulbous head, a good g-spot curve, memorable texture, or some combination of the above. I don’t expect every toy to absolutely wow me, but it’s like the Corkscrew isn’t even trying. If it disappeared from my collection, the photographer in me would be sad, but my vagina would be indifferent.
If you’re looking for a small glass dildo that glides smoothly and provides light stimulation, you might enjoy the Corkscrew. But I’d gladly trade mine for a g-spoon–I tried Aerie’s last year at dildo holiday and liked it, though the memory is hazy now2. I’d also love to try the Double Trouble since my friend Girly Juice raves about it.
I’m tempted to let this tweet stand for itself as my review…but since not everyone compares butt plugs to pizza, let’s talk about why the Njoy Pure Plugs rock.
Made of medical grade stainless steel that’s hand polished to a gorgeous shine, the Pure Plugs are created by Njoy, aka makers of the Pure Wand (one of my all time fave g-spotting dildos.)
The Pure Plugs come in three sizes,1 and I’m glad I got a Large because it’s actually not that big compared to some of my other plugs, and I love the sensation as it stretches my sphincter around its thickest part2, right before my butt sucks it in greedily. Since it’s so smooth, the Pure Plug is easy to insert with a little bit of lube and warm up and/or a (clit) vibe.
Even in hot Texas weather, the Pure Plug always seems to be cold, as if by some spell, and it feels exquisite going in. Though it’s not a huge toy, the Pure Plug’s hard, heavy steel feels incredibly intense as my muscles squeeze around it, but it’s still very comfortable, and its base rests nonchalantly between butt checks.
When I want to have anal sex and get my butt in the mood, I warm up with Pure Plug. When I had my first DP threesome experience, I whispered to Jake, go get me the Pure Plug. When my vagina is being moody, but I still want super intense orgasms, I use Pure Plug paired with a clitoral vibe.
I also enjoy the feeling of weight and fullness when wearing it during vaginal penetration, and it’s especially intense in doggy style, as my partner’s hips nudge on it with every thrust.
Other reasons the Pure Plug rocks: it’s super easy to clean/doesn’t retain butt smells3, you can use silicone lube with it4, you can use it for temperature play or predicament bondage5, and it’s perfect for taking selfies in.
Those of you who read my blog regularly are probably thinking, but what about Romp?! Don’t worry, my butt is non-monogamous. I don’t use Romp during vaginal penetration anymore (because both my best friend & a fellow blogger have had experiences with it getting sucked into their butts during sex), but Romp still has Pure Plug beat for casual wear. I’m not a big fan of wearing the Pure Plug while walking around/doing normal activities (though you definitely can if you want) because I find its weight distracting–I prefer it in purely sexual contexts.
Pure Plug, Eleven, & Pure Wand
The Pure Plug is butt magic. It’s smooth, heavy, and arousing. It calls out to me in the night, communicating on some frequency only butts can understand. If you have a butt and you enjoy putting things in it, you need a Pure Plug in your life, like yesterday!
Next up on my Njoy wishlist: The Eleven, of course6. Most of my blogger friends are obsessed with it, and it’s already seduced me in photos. Also, Pure Plug 2.0 because I love a challenge. And let’s be honest, I want the Pure Plug in Medium for comparison purposes, and the Pure Plug Small to wear as a necklace (as suggested by Greg, the genius of Njoy, when I met him recently at Woodhull.)
Thanks so much to SheVibe for sending me the Pure Plug in exchange for an honest review!
I wouldn’t have chosen a crotchless style if given the option–I like cute panties because they’re like wrapping paper for my vulva, something pretty to conceal and tease, so what’s the point of having an open crotch when I could just take them off…or be naked? But all of the Lovehoney panties were crotchless when they first came out, so I figured I’d give them a shot.
The Lovehoney panties are made of black spandex, with an opaque front, lacy butt panel, ruffle detail, and a crotch hole cut out. When I wear them, my vaginal opening and a little bit of my long inner labia is exposed, but the rest of my vulva is covered. This translates to them not being that comfortable to wear while out and about because my labia catches on the hole as I walk.
What these panties are great for though, is teasing and sex. I love the extra-cheekiness of the lace cut out, and my partner loves having my vulva accessible even with the panties on. They normally cover my clit, but Jake was able to gain clit access and give me oral while wearing them by pulling them up a bit.
The first thing I wondered when I got the panties was, can you actually have penetrative sex while wearing them? And the answer for me, is yes, yes you can! They worked for oral, fingering, and we even tried them once for P-I-V sex, and it actually felt really good to be a little constricted by the panties, with subtle pressure on my outer labia. Jake could feel them rubbing a little in certain positions, but not so much that we bothered to take them off. The crotch hole was a little stretched out after but not ruined.
The biggest complaint I have about these panties is the (lack of) sizing options. When they first came out, there were only two options: Small/Medium, which claims to fit dress size 6-8, and Medium/Large, which claims to fit dress size 10-12. I wasn’t sure which I should go with, since I wear medium panties, but I had a feeling they would run small, so I chose M/L.
I was right, they do run small, which isn’t really a surprise considering the S/M fits well on the Lovehoney model, who they say is a size 4 with 35″ hips. So why does it say they’ll fit a size 6-8? They stretch a little, but not that much. Since I received mine, Lovehoney has added another larger size: L/XL. But they run small and still don’t offer anything above “L/XL”, so that means the sizing options here are very limited, and that’s a shame.
Overall, I’ve enjoyed wearing the Lovehoney Crotchless Cutout panties–I just wish they’d add more size options so more people could enjoy them.
Ola was the first of Minna’s vibrators with squeeze technology. You may remember from my review of Minna’s second vibrator, the Limon, the basic idea behind it–you control the toy’s vibration strength by how hard you squeeze, which allows you to create your own vibration patterns.
Limon and Ola are similar–they’re both silicone, rechargeable, and feature customizable vibration–the main difference is their shape–Limon is a small, round vibrator that resembles a lemon, and Ola features a squeeze-pad handle and a hard, insertable shaft1. I’m not a big fan of internal vibration, but I requested Ola to review for clitoral use because one of my main complaints with Limon is that it’s difficult to hold.
In that respect, Ola is better–it’s easier to hold and squeeze, so it’s much easier to use paired with dildos than the Limon, which is a big win. I enjoy creating my own teasing patterns–I tend to start with low vibration, gradually increase it, and then pull back right as I feel super turned on, and then lock that pattern and use it to tease myself until I come–I’ve had some pretty awesome orgasms like that because my arousal builds gradually.
The thing about Ola’s squeeze technology though (and Limon’s) is that I have to put some effort and thought into creating the pattern before I can enjoy it. I have to make sure I’m on the right setting to record the pattern (Record Mode), then create it, and then press the lock button so that it saves the pattern (Lock Mode), and the slightest touch of the pad between recording and locking can ruin everything. I want to relax and orgasm with as little effort as possible, so this whole process is pain. It would be awesome if Ola allowed you to save vibration patterns, but sadly, that’s not a feature.
As cool as the customizable vibration patterns are, Ola and Limon would also be SO much better if they had steady vibration settings. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a hand cramp from trying to squeeze it as hard as possible when my orgasm is close. Sure, you can hack it and create a steady pattern, but I never think of that ahead of time.
Ola has a good range of vibration, from a light tickle to moderately strong–it’s a little less powerful than Mona. Using Ola’s vibration patterns to build arousal can make me come–but I’m greedy. I don’t just want one orgasm, I want 2 or 3. And when I’ve had one orgasm with teasing, I often end up squeezing Ola as hard as possible because I want to have another orgasm with steady vibration. And stripped of its fancy patterns, my clit just wishes Ola was stronger and rumblier.
Although my g-spot doesn’t usually like vibration, I tried Ola vaginally anyways because I’m still on the lookout for a vibe that my g-spot will love, and I could potentially enjoy Ola’s shape. But it just wasn’t meant to be–Ola provides the best stimulation flipped so that the shaft curves up against my g-spot, but using it that way means the squeeze pad/handle is pointed away from me at an awkward angle, which makes it difficult to thrust. And with so many otheramazingg-spottoys, why bother?
So, should you get Ola? If you’re really intrigued by the idea of creating your own vibration patterns, don’t need a ton of power, and don’t necessarily need steady vibration, then yes. I recommend it over Limon because it’s easier to hold, and there’s at least potential for internal stimulation.
Minna is definitely on to something with their squeeze technology, and I wish I could wholeheartedly recommend Ola. With some improvements–steady vibration settings, the ability to save vibration patterns, and stronger and rumblier vibration, I bet it could hang along with some of the bestvibratorsout there.
The L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a swanky vibrator, with its jewel motif, soft silicone, and sleek design and packaging. If Gatsby hosted orgies, Rosas would be as abundant as champagne and lacy panties. The Rosa Rouge arouses me before I even turn on its vibration, and I’m not just talking about its drool worthy aesthetic.
What is this sorcery?
The Rosa Rogue isn’t just a vibrator… it’s a heating vibrator. It kind of feels like I’m masturbating with hot lava, but in the best way. It’s like a little spa treatment for my clit. A clit sauna. A little private sunny island vacay for my vulva…with orgasms instead of Mai Tais.
Since there are so many vibrators on the market these days, companies are constantly trying to come up with novel features to keep people interested. There are vibes that are suppossed to act like fingers, vibes meant to mimic oral, vibes that look like aliens…and I’m all for variety, but often these toys are just gimmicky and would be better off with a more basic design.
But Rosa Rogue’s heating is definitely not a gimmick. Oh man, I love it. If I put it on my clit for the few minutes it takes to heat up to 104-107 degrees1, I get super aroused, and by the time it’s warmed up, my clit is ready to party, and its rumbly vibration is heavenly. It’s not quite as strong and rumbly as Tango, but it can still hang, even with die hard Tango fans.
Other things I love about Rosa: it’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, lockable for travel, and it comes with an 18 month warranty. The charger base also rocks–it’s super easy to use, and it’s obvious when it’s done charging.
So far I’ve mentioned that my clit loves Rosa’s heating and vibration. Specifically, the shaft’s vibration. But Rosa is also designed to be a dual stimulator–the shaft is curved for g-spot vibration and the base is meant for simultaneous clitoral stimulation…but Rosa doesn’t work for me that way.
Rosa’s shaft provides deep, rumbly vibrations (hell yes!), while the base’s vibrations are less powerful and buzzier (sad face.) So when I insert Rosa’s shaft and use it as intended, my clit is underwhelmed by the base’s weaker vibration. My g-spot gets all of the strong rumblies, but my g-spot doesn’t need vibration, it needs pressure and/or thrusting, which Rosa’s flexible shaft can’t provide adequately… so neither my clit nor my g-spot are satisfied.
Other than the base not working out well for me and the flexible shaft, the main complaint I have with Rosa is the controls. Since they’re tiny and embedded in the silicone, they’re really difficult to see and control, and Rosa definitely needs an easy off button.2
So, the ultimate question here is, should you drop $195 on the Rosa Rouge? Is it worth it?
My g-spot says no. My wallet says hells no. But my clit says yassss!
For Rosa to be absolutely perfect and totally worth the hefty price tag for me, it would need to have a firmer shaft, easier to find buttons, and it would probably need to bring me coffee and/or pizza and cuddle with me while watching Buffy. But if you like powerful, rumbly vibrations, think you’ll enjoy the heating feature, and have an extra $240 lying around to invest in quality orgasms, Rosa is still a solid choice as is.
If you’re not interested in heating, there’s also the plain Rosa (available in emerald, cerise, and black) for $148. If both Rosa Rouge and plain Rosa are way out of your price range and you still want a strong petite vibe without warming, consider the Touch or Tango instead. If you’re looking for a dual stimulator, Rosa could work for you that way if you’re cool with rumbly, strong internal vibration, less powerful clitoral/external vibration and a flexible shaft.
Thanks for sending me the Rosa Rouge in exchange for an honest review, L’amourose!
When I got my first three VixSkin dildos (Buck, Johnny, & Tex), in my early notes for Johnny I wrote: Girthy. Delicious. Maybe my fave of the three. After months of using them all, Buck ended up winning the battle for my absolute favorite, but I still love Johnny as well.
Johnny is made of Vixen Creations’ addictive VixSkin dual density silicone, which features a firm core and a squishy, soft, skin-like outer layer. It feels incredibly realistic, and since it’s silicone, it’s hygienic and non-porous, unlike the majority of realistic dildos you see in a lot of sex toy stores that are often made of toxic materials (dildos you couldn’t pay me to touch now, much less put near my genitals.)
Johnny is similar to Buck in that it’s large (7″ long), uber-realistic, and quite girthy (1.75″) and veiny, but the most obvious difference is that Johnny has balls. Slightly lopsided, wrinkly, glorious balls. Johnny also has a more prominent curve, a longer, less pronounced head, and foreskin texture.
And let’s talk about that curve, shall we: it’s absolutely perfect for putting constant, fabulous pressure on my g-spot. Its head doesn’t protrude as much as Buck’s, so the g-spot stimulation feels different–it strokes more than it nudges or tugs. Johnny’s girth stretches me in an exquisite way, and its foreskin’s texture feels great stimulating my vaginal opening and g-spot during thrusting. The combination of Johnny’s curve, girth, and texture usually ends with a squirty mess.
Johnny’s balls are pretty epic, but they also make it a little harder to wield. I’m glad I have Johnny because I feel like my collection would be sadly lacking without a big, ballsy cock, but overall the balls don’t really add much for me during use.
Johnny is not a toy for when my vag is feeling finicky: I need to be in the zone. And I don’t go from zero to Johnny–I start with something smaller like Tex or Mustang, and move on to Johnny when my vag is like ok that feels good, now LET’S DO THIS! Its girth and texture also requires that I use quite a bit of lube, and every time I use Johnny I get a little closer to finally caving and getting a lube dispenser.
Another thing I should mention that’s come up since my Buck review–VixSkin is delicate and should be treated gently. Don’t ask me how it happened, but my Buck now has some light teeth marks around its head. They’re not so deep that it’s ruined, but I’m just saying…don’t let human (or pet) teeth get a hold of your VixSkin dildos.
If you’re looking for a curved, girthy, realistic dildo with hefty balls and some texture, you’ll probably love Johnny. If you don’t want balls, but you still want a girthy realistic dildo for intense g-spot stimulation, go with Buck. If you’re looking for a slimmer, shorter dildo, Mustang and Tex are both less girthy but still feature awesome g-spotting heads. Whatever you do, if you don’t have any VixSkin yet, get some! It’s a game changer.
Like all Vixen dildos, Johnny has a flared based (and balls!), so it’s safe for anal play and can be used in a harness. My Johnny is caramel, but it also comes in vanilla and chocolate.
Thanks Vixen Creations for sending me Johnny in exchange for an honest review! (If you buy through my affiliate links I will make a small commission, but this does not affect my reviews, which are always fair and honest. Trust me, I will tell youwhena toysucks.)
Let’s cut to the chase: vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango and Touch make me thank goddess I have a clitoris.
If you’ve ever visited one of the big sex toy mega-stores, you know there is no shortage of vibrator options. The problem is that a lot of them are crap. Many are made of unsafe materials, and even the ones that are safe are often badly designed, or are too weak, or too buzzy.
If you’re not familiar with vibration types, “buzzy” vibration feels like a tickle–it’s also described as “surface level,” because it only stimulates the surface area where you put it. I can sometimes orgasm from buzzy vibrations, but the orgasms usually feel weak and unsatisfying.1 Rumbly vibrations on the other hand, travel further and deeper. So if you’re using a vibrator clitorally, a buzzy vibrator only stimulates the clitoral glans, or wherever you put it, whereas a rumbly vibrator will stimulate wherever you put it, as well as the deeper, inner clitoris. This translates to stronger, more satisfying orgasms.
Enter the We-Vibe Tango & Touch. The Tango is made of hard plastic and features a straight, “bullet,” lipstick-like design, with an angled tip, and the Touch is made of silky matte silicone, with a broader design that features a cup-like tip to cover the clit. The reason I’m reviewing them together is because although they have different designs, they feature the same motor.
And let’s talk about that motor–because it’s what makes these vibes so unique, and so amazing. It’s strong. Miraculously strong. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also super rumbly. Like, mini earthquakes rumbly. And strong, rumbly vibration=incredibly strong, intense orgasms. To whoever created that motor–you are a hero!
Since it’s smaller and made of hard plastic, the Tango is the stronger vibrator of the two. It’s so strong that I can use it over panties, and it’s also one of the only vibrators that can make me come without direct clitoral contact, its rumbly vibration awakening my inner clit. I am often greedy about my orgasms though, so I use it directly too, and I can come in record time. Like, Hitachi or Eroscillator fast…except it’s much smaller, and not a plug-in! The Tango’s angled tip is great for pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use its body for a little more surface area.
The Tango is so strong that one time while I was using it with Jake, I came almost the entire time we were having sex, and my vag got so tight from constant squeezing that Jake legit had a hard time staying inside of me. He had to thrust super hard to keep my vag from pushing him out. It’s also so fabulous that I’ve actually dreamed about masturbating with it. No one else was with me in my dream, nothing particularly interesting was happening…I was just using the Tango on my clit. It’s quite literally the stuff dreams are made of.
The Tango is also really versatile since it’s the same size as standard bullets, so you can use it to replace the generic bullets that come with a lot of vibrating dildos/butt plugs.
Since the Touch is broader and its vibrations have to travel through silicone, they’re dampened a little and not quite as strong as the Tango–but don’t get me wrong, they’re still strong. The Touch also offers more surface area, which I like, and it’s concave area is great for cupping my clit, surrounding it with vibration. During sex with a partner, I usually prefer using the Touch, because I don’t need vibration to be as strong during penetration, and it’s easier to hold. (And sometimes the Tango can actually be too stimulating/overwhelming for me during sex.)
Both the Tango and the Touch are powered by a single button and feature 4 steady vibration power levels as well as 4 vibration patterns. To change the vibration, you click the button, and it will cycle through the functions. If you turn off the vibe (by holding down the button for a couple of seconds) and then turn it back on, it starts on the setting you used last. I can come one the first power level using either toy…and then I can orgasm again if I keep going, moving on to the stronger levels. I don’t use it often because I usually prefer steady vibration, but I do enjoy the Wave pattern. I’m not a big fan of the other 3 though–they feel a little too robotic.
=oh goddess, yes!
=oh, fuck, yesssss!
=OMFG I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, YES!
=An enjoyable tease.
=Make it stop!
Not only are the Tango and Touch strong and rumbly, they’re also stealthy. A lot of vibrators claim to be whisper quiet–but in this case, they actually are. They’re I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch and want to orgasm really quickly before bed quiet. They’re come fast in the bathroom quiet. Hell, I bet they’re so quiet that you could use one in the bed next to a sleeping partner without waking them strong, though I haven’t tested that theory.
In addition to being strong, rumbly, and discreet, the Tango and Touch are also waterproof and rechargeable. They take 90 minutes to charge, and they last for up to 2 hours of use. When their batteries are running low, the power button blinks like a homing beacon, letting you know that you need to charge them ASAP. This can be somewhat annoying if they’re on your bed stand, but overall I appreciate this feature, because a Tango or Touch dying mid-use is excruciating.
So you’re probably thinking that there must be a downside to these vibes. They couldn’t be perfect, could they? They’re pretty damn close, but there are a few things. For one, the whole Tango vibrates, so your fingers do feel the vibration as well. This doesn’t happen as much with the Touch, though you still get a little bit of vibration in the handle part. I also wish the charge lasted longer. It seems that almost every day, they’re blinking, telling me to charge them again. And as I mentioned earlier, I don’t like most of the functions, but that’s not a big deal to me.
The last and worst problem, which applies to the Tango in particular, is that they can die easily. I’ve heard that We-Vibe updated their electrical boards since the first generation of Tangos to decrease the number of failed units, AKA sad, dead vibrators, which was a good move on We-Vibe’s part. My first version Tango died suddenly mid-wank one day, and to my dismay, it would never hold a charge after that. I’ve had my new Tango & Touch for 3 months now and haven’t had any problems, but I’ve heard some people still have. Still, they come with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty, so if that happens within the first year, you can get it replaced quickly.
The current Tango and Touch are the second generation, and there are a few differences from the original design. I had the original Tango, but I never tried the original Touch. The most important difference is that the old Touch was also not as strong and made of a different type of silicone that attracted link and hair more easily. The Tango is pretty much the same, with a slightly longer design. They both feature an updated, less finicky charger. For a detailed description of all of the differences between the old and new versions, check out Dangerous Lilly’s reviews.
So, which should you get?
Both! Ok, but if you have to choose…
If all you care about is having the most powerful vibrations, get the Tango. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit of vibration strength for a vibe that’s more ergonomic, or if you prefer broader stimulation or soft toys, get the Touch. They’re both strong, quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable, so you really can’t go wrong with either though, unless you don’t like powerful, rumbly vibration.
So what’s next on my wishlist from We-Vibe? The Dusk! I included it in my 15 sex toys I want to try in 2015 list, because Epiphora says you can have hands free orgasms with the Dusk+Tango…OMFG, y’all!
*The Tango & Touch were sent by We-Vibe in exchange for my honest review–thanks We-Vibe! If you buy through my links, I will receive a small commission. If you want to support my blog, please clear your cache & cookies first to ensure I get credit–thanks!
Not exactly. If I had to sum up Mona Wave in a word it would be: disappointing. I don’t hate it and have (somewhat) enjoyed using it, but it could use some major improvements.
In case you haven’t heard of the original Mona, it’s a sleek, silicone, rechargeable vibrator designed for g-spot stimulation. I actually prefer mine for clitoral stimulation, especially combined with dildos because it’s fairly strong, with a wide range of vibration and an easy to grip handle. It’s not the holy grail of g-spot toys for me, but it is for many others. It’s widely loved, so much so that people have made shrines to it, they have back up Monas, and most sex bloggers sing its praises.
The new Mona Wave looks very similar to original Mona. It features the same silky smooth silicone and overall design– the main difference is its control panel, which is made of silicone (instead of hard plastic), with built in, seamless buttons that don’t light up (as opposed to regular Mona’s, which do.) And obviously, it has motion. Here’s a quick overview of its functions:
1- Motion, with vibration
2- Slower motion, with waves of vibration (Useless)
3- Motion, with waves of vibration (My favorite)
4- Motion, quick pulsing vibration
5- Motion, erratic pulsing/waving vibration
6- Motion, no vibration
7- Steady vibration
8- Waves of vibration
9- Quick pulsing vibration
10- Erratic pulsing/waving vibration
I am often in the mood for lazy orgasms (that’s why I still love my Hitachi), so I thought I’d love that the Mona Wave could move around inside of me by itself. It took me quite a bit of finagling it around to see what worked, but after a while, I found the way it works best for me–holding onto it firmly, pushing the handle down, so its arm moves up against my g-spot. Holding it any other way just doesn’t give my g-spot enough pressure or do much for me. Since I have to grip it firmly to take advantage of its motion, it’s somewhat awkward for me to hold. And I’ve tried thrusting with it, but the feeling of the motion is lost when I do, which kind of defeats the purpose of a moving vibrator.
At first, Mona Wave’s arm feels good–sort of like a finger. I start to get that need to squirt g-spot feeling with minimal effort…but then I want need more. If I was using a dildo, this is the time when I’d start thrusting harder and faster. If I was with a partner, they’d move faster, add another finger, something to up the intensity.
The problem with Mona Wave is that its movement is not adjustable, nor is its speed. It only moves 30 degrees. It will not go any faster. And when I get tired of the first mode (movement+vibration) and click through to the second function to try something else, it actually gets slower, which pisses me off every time. I do enjoy the third function’s waving vibration+movement, but the movement still isn’t what I’d like it to be. I can orgasm from it, but I rarely squirt. And when I do, it’s usually the Tiniest Squirt Ever. It just doesn’t have the intensity I need to leave my legs shaking and my Throe soaked.
The Mona Wave is touted as offering a come hither motion for “finger-like” g-spot stimulation. When I picture “finger-like motion,” I picture something curling up inside of me, tugging on my g-spot, stroking it, moving faster when needed. I don’t picture a finger that only moves 30 degrees and stays at the same damn speed the whole time. When I first got the Mona Wave, I sent a video of it to my best friend. “That’s it? That is so not a come hither motion” was her reaction. Yep–that pretty much sums it up.
Notes from my 1st time trying the new #LELOMonaWave: it feels like having sex with a robot (sound effects & all.)
When I use Mona Wave clitorally, all I can think is robot finger. Since I can hold Mona Wave and allow it to stroke my clit, it does feel similar to a finger touching me, which is pretty damn cool–a robot finger, granted, because the movement is metronomical, but still cool. Since its pace is predictable, it takes me a long time to come, but when I finally do after all of the build up, it feels pretty explosive. I still think it would benefit from more variance in speed and movement clitorally though, just as it would for g-spot stimulation.
There’s one major problem with the Mona Wave’s motion though, y’all, no matter how you’re using it: the weird noise. The original Mona isn’t exactly silent, but at least I can easily tune out its low hum of vibration. I cannot tune out Mona Wave’s annoying sound. It’s so obnoxious that Jake could hear it from the other room, where he was sawing wood. No joke. Not even wearing headphones and listening to porn will drown it out. It is incredibly distracting and the biggest deterrent to me wanting to use it.
Vibration wise, Mona Wave feels slightly less powerful at full power than regular Mona, which is also a shame. Otherwise, it’s similar, with the same moderately rumbly vibration at its lower settings and buzzier vibrations at its stronger levels. It also has less vibration functions, 4 vs Mona’s 10.
Using the Mona Wave’s control panel is a little different from Mona–instead of pressing the +/- buttons to start and adjust the vibration and then the ▲/▼ buttons to cycle through the functions, you simply click the middle of the panel, and it will turn on and begin at the last setting you used, which is pretty rad and also makes it easier to quickly turn off. It’s slightly harder to find the buttons during use, since they aren’t raised and don’t light up like regular Mona’s, but you could argue that it’s easier to clean since the buttons don’t have crevices. Like Mona, you can adjust the vibration power during any function with the +/- buttons. You also have the option making its curve more prominent if you hit the ▲ button to stop it just right when switching from motion to its steady vibration mode.
As is standard of LELO toys, Mona Wave is waterproof/submersible, rechargeable (2 hours for full charge), and comes with a satin storage bag, a sample LELO lube packet, and a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty/10 year guarantee.
I wish LELO had asked me to test out the Mona Wave before it was released, because I think it has the potential to be a fantastic vibrator with some improvements. Obviously, the sound needs to go, and I wish it could move faster and possibly more than 30 degrees. If it had a motion function that had a sort of unpredictable, erratic movement so you didn’t know what was coming (like a real finger)–that’d be even better.
As is though, I don’t recommend dropping $179 on it. Sure, it can make me come–but its sound is a constant annoyance, and I don’t want my orgasms mixed with frustration. If it was as strong as Mona and wasn’t so damn loud, I’d probably recommend getting it over regular Mona because why not have the option of masturbating with a robot finger? And hello, just look at the gorgeous blue one!1 And if it moved more and faster, maybe I could forgive its awful sound. But since it’s loud and doesn’t give me what I want, I’ll rarely use it. Unless LELO fixes some of the issues I’ve mentioned, I’m staying loyal to regular Mona.
I should disclaim here that I’m not a huge fan of regular Mona’s shape for g-spot stimulation, so there’s a chance you might love the Mona Wave’s motion even though I don’t. If you don’t need a lot of movement or speed for g-spot stimulation and think you can get over the noise, go for it. If the sound makes you so frustrated that you throw it against the wall though, I’ll have to say I told you so.
All of that said, I did have some epic double Mona orgasms (with Mona Wave pushing up on my g-spot and original Mona on my clit) that almost let me overlook its noise…but I shouldn’t need 2 versions of a toy to enjoy it properly. And come on, for $179 I expect a vibrator that doesn’t sound like a cheap POS. $179 buys a lot of pizza.
If you want it, get the Mona Wave directly from Lelo or from SheVibe, one of my fave retailers.
Thanks for sending me the Mona Wave in exchange for my honest review, LELO!