Category Archives: Vibrators

Review: Hot Octopuss Pulse

pennysblog_hotoctopusspulse1

While vibrators in general aren’t exclusive to clits and vaginas, there aren’t a lot of vibes designed specifically with penises in mind, so my partner Jake was excited to try out the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo.

The Pulse is a masturbator style vibrator made of silicone, with a motor that vibrates against the frenulum and two flexible wings that wrap around the shaft. There are two versions of the Pulse–the Solo, which has just the internal motor, and the one I have, the Duo, that’s marketed as a couples’ toy and features a second remote controlled external motor for use with a partner. My Pulse is also the updated model–it’s now waterproof and has 5 patterns in addition to steady vibration.

As excited as Jake was about the Pulse initially, I could tell it was a dud for him when after only trying it a couple of times he said “oh, I guess I have to try that thing again” like it was homework instead of a treat.

It’s not that it’s a totally crappy toy–the internal motor has strong, rumbly vibration, it’s made of high quality silicone, and it’s fairly easy to use, with an on/off button on the left side and +/- intensity controls on the right where your hand rests, though it is rather bulky and heavy.

The problem is the Pulse’s strokability. The instructions claim that it can be used as either just a vibrator without lube or as a typical masturbator with lube, but since the silicone is rigid and bulky, it’s not easily thrustable, even with lube. The stiff silicone hits Jake’s head if he tries to stroke with it, which is uncomfortable, so he’s stuck using it stationary with only the vibration, which is stimulating at first, but without any motion becomes desensitizing. Using it for too long has actually makes him loose his erection, which is definitely a fail. He’d rather use a Fleshlight, a Tenga Egg, his hand, or pretty much anything rather than use the Pulse again now that we’re done reviewing it.

But what about using the Pulse as a “couples’ toy,” since it has an external motor?

pennysblog_hotoctopusspulse2First off, Jake doesn’t love vibration by itself, so obviously he wasn’t going to love it1, but we tried it anyways (because #sexbloggerlyfe.)

The external motor has 3 steady speeds and is decently strong, but unlike the internal motor its vibration is buzzy2, which insults my clit. It’s also hard to keep it in place. We tried it with him on top, but if he moved a certain way, it felt abrasive. With me on top it was slightly better, but one slap on my boobs or twitch and it’d move away from where it felt best on my clit. Oh, and did I mention that it makes a horrible rattling sound?

So basically it was like Jake was wearing a bulky, loud cock ring except that you can’t have penetrative sex with it on. And I’m totally down with vibration instead of penetration but having to grind on my partner with an obnoxious chunk of silicone between us with buzzy, loud vibrations, hoping that it won’t move and rub my clit the wrong way is just ridiculous. I’ll stick to using a normal rumbly vibe I can control myself, thanks.

The only way I kind of enjoyed the Pulse was around Mustang Royale positioned over my vulva as if it was my cock. Some vibration did transfer while holding it at the base of Mustang, but not enough to get me off.

For us, the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo was a mega fail. Jake will never use it again now that our review is done, and I’d rather give up pizza for a month than use it again during partner sex. It wasn’t quite as bad as Ida, but still, remind me to never agree to review a “couples’ toy” again, please.

Although I’m hesitant to say that just because a toy doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you3, in this case it’s true. I know some others who love the Pulse, and if you have a penis and enjoy vibration without stroking, you might like it. The internal motor is strong, like Eroscillator strong, and since it’s open, people with erectile dysfunction can still enjoy it while flaccid, which is great.

If you do want to try the Pulse, I’d get the Pulse Solo–I don’t recommend using it for couples’ play anyways, and it’s $40 cheaper. Since it’s silicone, stick to water based lubes with it.

Thanks Hot Octopuss for sending me the Pulse in exchange for an honest review!

*Dildo pictured: VixSkin Tex


  1. you can only turn on the external vibration if the internal motor is on 

  2. aka surface level vibration/vibration that doesn’t stimulate the deeper inner clitoris & usually results in lackluster orgasms if any for me 

  3. because some toys just suck 

Review: Minna Ola

pennysblog_minnaolaOla was the first of Minna’s vibrators with squeeze technology. You may remember from my review of Minna’s second vibrator, the Limon, the basic idea behind it–you control the toy’s vibration strength by how hard you squeeze, which allows you to create your own vibration patterns.

Limon and Ola are similar–they’re both silicone, rechargeable, and feature customizable vibration–the main difference is their shape–Limon is a small, round vibrator that resembles a lemon, and Ola features a squeeze-pad handle and a hard, insertable shaft1. I’m not a big fan of internal vibration, but I requested Ola to review for clitoral use because one of my main complaints with Limon is that it’s difficult to hold.

In that respect, Ola is better–it’s easier to hold and squeeze, so it’s much easier to use paired with dildos than the Limon, which is a big win. I enjoy creating my own teasing patterns–I tend to start with low vibration, gradually increase it, and then pull back right as I feel super turned on, and then lock that pattern and use it to tease myself until I come–I’ve had some pretty awesome orgasms like that because my arousal builds gradually.

The thing about Ola’s squeeze technology though (and Limon’s) is that I have to put some effort and thought into creating the pattern before I can enjoy it. I have to make sure I’m on the right setting to record the pattern (Record Mode), then create it, and then press the lock button so that it saves the pattern (Lock Mode), and the slightest touch of the pad between recording and locking can ruin everything. I want to relax and orgasm with as little effort as possible, so this whole process is pain. pennysblog_minnaola2It would be awesome if Ola allowed you to save vibration patterns, but sadly, that’s not a feature.

As cool as the customizable vibration patterns are, Ola and Limon would also be SO much better if they had steady vibration settings. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a hand cramp from trying to squeeze it as hard as possible when my orgasm is close. Sure, you can hack it and create a steady pattern, but I never think of that ahead of time.

Ola has a good range of vibration, from a light tickle to moderately strong–it’s a little less powerful than Mona. Using Ola’s vibration patterns to build arousal can make me come–but I’m greedy. I don’t just want one orgasm, I want 2 or 3. And when I’ve had one orgasm with teasing, I often end up squeezing Ola as hard as possible because I want to have another orgasm with steady vibration. And stripped of its fancy patterns, my clit just wishes Ola was stronger and rumblier.

Although my g-spot doesn’t usually like vibration, I tried Ola vaginally anyways because I’m still on the lookout for a vibe that my g-spot will love, and I could potentially enjoy Ola’s shape. But it just wasn’t meant to be–Ola provides the best stimulation flipped so that the shaft curves up against my g-spot, but using it that way means the squeeze pad/handle is pointed away from me at an awkward angle, which makes it difficult to thrust. And with so many other amazing g-spot toys, why bother?

So, should you get Ola? If you’re really intrigued by the idea of creating your own vibration patterns, don’t need a ton of power, and don’t necessarily need steady vibration, then yes. I recommend it over Limon because it’s easier to hold, and there’s at least potential for internal stimulation.

Minna is definitely on to something with their squeeze technology, and I wish I could wholeheartedly recommend Ola. With some improvements–steady vibration settings, the ability to save vibration patterns, and stronger and rumblier vibration, I bet it could hang along with some of the best vibrators out there.

Ola is available at SheVibe or Early to Bed!

Thanks, Minna!


  1. it’s ~5″ long, with a 1.5″ diameter 

Review: L’amourose Rosa Rouge

pennysblog_rosarougeThe L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a swanky vibrator, with its jewel motif, soft silicone, and sleek design and packaging. If Gatsby hosted orgies, Rosas would be as abundant as champagne and lacy panties. The Rosa Rouge arouses me before I even turn on its vibration, and I’m not just talking about its drool worthy aesthetic.

What is this sorcery?

The Rosa Rogue isn’t just a vibrator… it’s a heating vibrator. It kind of feels like I’m masturbating with hot lava, but in the best way. It’s like a little spa treatment for my clit. A clit sauna. A little private sunny island vacay for my vulva…with orgasms instead of Mai Tais.

Since there are so many vibrators on the market these days, companies are constantly trying to come up with novel features to keep people interested. There are vibes that are suppossed to act like fingers, vibes meant to mimic oral, vibes that look like aliens…and I’m all for variety, but often these toys are just gimmicky and would be better off with a more basic design.

But Rosa Rogue’s heating is definitely not a gimmick. Oh man, I love it. If I put it on my clit for the few minutes it takes to heat up to 104-107 degrees1, I get super aroused, and by the time it’s warmed up, my clit is ready to party, and its rumbly vibration is heavenly. It’s not quite as strong and rumbly as Tango, but it can still hang, even with die hard Tango fans.

Other things I love about Rosa: it’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, lockable for travel, and it comes with an 18 month warranty. The charger base also rocks–it’s super easy to use, and it’s obvious when it’s done charging.

So far I’ve mentioned that my clit loves Rosa’s heating and vibration. Specifically, the shaft’s vibration. But Rosa is also designed to be a dual stimulator–the shaft is curved for g-spot vibration and the base is meant for simultaneous clitoral stimulation…but Rosa doesn’t work for me that way.

Rosa’s shaft provides deep, rumbly vibrations (hell yes!), while the base’s vibrations are less powerful and buzzier (sad face.) So when I insert Rosa’s shaft and use it as intended, my clit is underwhelmed by the base’s weaker vibration. My g-spot gets all of the strong rumblies, but my g-spot doesn’t need vibration, it needs pressure and/or thrusting, which Rosa’s flexible shaft can’t provide adequately… so neither my clit nor my g-spot are satisfied.

Other than the base not working out well for me and the flexible shaft, the main complaint I have with Rosa is the controls. Since they’re tiny and embedded in the silicone, they’re really difficult to see and control, and Rosa definitely needs an easy off button.2

So, the ultimate question here is, should you drop $240 on the Rosa Rouge? Is it worth it?

My g-spot says no. My wallet says hells no. But my clit says yassss!

For Rosa to be absolutely perfect and totally worth the hefty price tag for me, it would need to have a firmer shaft, easier to find buttons, and it would probably need to bring me coffee and/or pizza and cuddle with me while watching Buffy. But if you like powerful, rumbly vibrations, think you’ll enjoy the heating feature, and have an extra $240 lying around to invest in quality orgasms, Rosa is still a solid choice as is.

If you’re not interested in heating, there’s also the plain Rosa (available in emerald, cerise, and black) for $180. If both Rosa Rouge and plain Rosa are way out of your price range and you still want a strong petite vibe without warming, consider the Touch or Tango instead. If you’re looking for a dual stimulator, Rosa could work for you that way if you’re cool with rumbly, strong internal vibration, less powerful clitoral/external vibration and a flexible shaft.

Rosa Rouge is available at SheVibe, Lovehoney US, & Lovehoney UK!

Thanks for sending me the Rosa Rouge in exchange for an honest review, L’amourose!


  1. 40-42 degrees Celcius 

  2. You have to hold down the – for about 3 seconds to get it to turn off. 

Review: We-Vibe Tango & Touch

pennysblog_2touchandtango

Let’s cut to the chase: vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango and Touch make me thank goddess I have a clitoris.

If you’ve ever visited one of the big sex toy mega-stores, you know there is no shortage of vibrator options. The problem is that a lot of them are crap. Many are made of unsafe materials, and even the ones that are safe are often badly designed, or are too weak, or too buzzy.

If you’re not familiar with vibration types, “buzzy” vibration feels like a tickle–it’s also described as “surface level,” because it only stimulates the surface area where you put it. I can sometimes orgasm from buzzy vibrations, but the orgasms usually feel weak and unsatisfying.1 Rumbly vibrations on the other hand, travel further and deeper. So if you’re using a vibrator clitorally, a buzzy vibrator only stimulates the clitoral glans, or wherever you put it, whereas a rumbly vibrator will stimulate wherever you put it, as well as the deeper, inner clitoris. This translates to stronger, more satisfying orgasms.

Enter the We-Vibe Tango & Touch. The Tango is made of hard plastic and features a straight, “bullet,” lipstick-like design, with an angled tip, and the Touch is made of silky matte silicone, with a broader design that features a cup-like tip to cover the clit. The reason I’m reviewing them together is because although they have different designs, they feature the same motor.

And let’s talk about that motor–because it’s what makes these vibes so unique, and so amazing. It’s strong. Miraculously strong. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also super rumbly. Like, mini earthquakes rumbly. And strong, rumbly vibration=incredibly strong, intense orgasms. To whoever created that motor–you are a hero!

pennysblog_tango

Since it’s smaller and made of hard plastic, the Tango is the stronger vibrator of the two. It’s so strong that I can use it over panties, and it’s also one of the only vibrators that can make me come without direct clitoral contact, its rumbly vibration awakening my inner clit. I am often greedy about my orgasms though, so I use it directly too, and I can come in record time. Like, Hitachi or Eroscillator fast…except it’s much smaller, and not a plug-in! The Tango’s angled tip is great for pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use its body for a little more surface area.

The Tango is so strong that one time while I was using it with Jake, I came almost the entire time we were having sex, and my vag got so tight from constant squeezing that Jake legit had a hard time staying inside of me. He had to thrust super hard to keep my vag from pushing him out. It’s also so fabulous that I’ve actually dreamed about masturbating with it. No one else was with me in my dream, nothing particularly interesting was happening…I was just using the Tango on my clit. It’s quite literally the stuff dreams are made of.

The Tango is also really versatile since it’s the same size as standard bullets, so you can use it to replace the generic bullets that come with a lot of vibrating dildos/butt plugs.

pennysblog_touch

Since the Touch is broader and its vibrations have to travel through silicone, they’re dampened a little and not quite as strong as the Tango–but don’t get me wrong, they’re still strong. The Touch also offers more surface area, which I like, and it’s concave area is great for cupping my clit, surrounding it with vibration. During sex with a partner, I usually prefer using the Touch, because I don’t need vibration to be as strong during penetration, and it’s easier to hold. (And sometimes the Tango can actually be too stimulating/overwhelming for me during sex.)

Both the Tango and the Touch are powered by a single button and feature 4 steady vibration power levels as well as 4 vibration patterns. To change the vibration, you click the button, and it will cycle through the functions. If you turn off the vibe (by holding down the button for a couple of seconds) and then turn it back on, it starts on the setting you used last. I can come one the first power level using either toy…and then I can orgasm again if I keep going, moving on to the stronger levels. I don’t use it often because I usually prefer steady vibration, but I do enjoy the Wave pattern. I’m not a big fan of the other 3 though–they feel a little too robotic.

Low
 =yes!
Medium
 =oh goddess, yes!
High
 =oh, fuck, yesssss!
Ultra
 =OMFG I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, YES!
Tease
 =Meh.
Wave
 =An enjoyable tease.
Pulse
 =Make it stop!
Cha-cha
 =No.

Not only are the Tango and Touch strong and rumbly, they’re also stealthy. A lot of vibrators claim to be whisper quiet–but in this case, they actually are. They’re I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch and want to orgasm really quickly before bed quiet. They’re come fast in the bathroom quiet. Hell, I bet they’re so quiet that you could use one in the bed next to a sleeping partner without waking them strong, though I haven’t tested that theory.

In addition to being strong, rumbly, and discreet, the Tango and Touch are also waterproof and rechargeable. They take 90 minutes to charge, and they last for up to 2 hours of use. When their batteries are running low, the power button blinks like a homing beacon, letting you know that you need to charge them ASAP. This can be somewhat annoying if they’re on your bed stand, but overall I appreciate this feature, because a Tango or Touch dying mid-use is excruciating.

So you’re probably thinking that there must be a downside to these vibes. They couldn’t be perfect, could they? They’re pretty damn close, but there are a few things. For one, the whole Tango vibrates, so your fingers do feel the vibration as well. This doesn’t happen as much with the Touch, though you still get a little bit of vibration in the handle part. I also wish the charge lasted longer. It seems that almost every day, they’re blinking, telling me to charge them again. And as I mentioned earlier, I don’t like most of the functions, but that’s not a big deal to me.

The last and worst problem, which applies to the Tango in particular, is that they can die easily. I’ve heard that We-Vibe updated their electrical boards since the first generation of Tangos to decrease the number of failed units, AKA sad, dead vibrators, which was a good move on We-Vibe’s part. My first version Tango died suddenly mid-wank one day, and to my dismay, it would never hold a charge after that. I’ve had my new Tango & Touch for 3 months now and haven’t had any problems, but I’ve heard some people still have. Still, they come with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty, so if that happens within the first year, you can get it replaced quickly.

The current Tango and Touch are the second generation, and there are a few differences from the original design. I had the original Tango, but I never tried the original Touch. The most important difference is that the old Touch was also not as strong and made of a different type of silicone that attracted link and hair more easily. The Tango is pretty much the same, with a slightly longer design. They both feature an updated, less finicky charger. For a detailed description of all of the differences between the old and new versions, check out Dangerous Lilly’s reviews.

So, which should you get?

Both! Ok, but if you have to choose…

If all you care about is having the most powerful vibrations, get the Tango. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit of vibration strength for a vibe that’s more ergonomic, or if you prefer broader stimulation or soft toys, get the Touch. They’re both strong, quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable, so you really can’t go wrong with either though, unless you don’t like powerful, rumbly vibration.

dusk

So what’s next on my wishlist from We-Vibe? The Dusk! I included it in my 15 sex toys I want to try in 2015 list, because Epiphora says you can have hands free orgasms with the Dusk+Tango…OMFG, y’all!

Get the Tango in blue or pink from Shevibe or in pink from Lovehoney US or Lovehoney UK!

Get the Touch in purple from SheVibe, Lovehoney US, or Lovehoney UK!

*The Tango & Touch were sent by We-Vibe in exchange for my honest review–thanks We-Vibe! If you buy through my links, I will receive a small commission. If you want to support my blog, please clear your cache & cookies first to ensure I get credit–thanks!

 


  1. No, not all orgasms are created equal. 

Review: LELO Mona Wave

pennysblog_monas1

For many sex toy aficionados, the LELO Mona Wave was one of the most anticipated toys this year. Almost everyone I know loves the regular Mona vibrator, so a new Mona with added “come hither,” finger-like motion that comes in beautiful, midnight blue…it must be a miracle, right?

Not exactly. If I had to sum up Mona Wave in a word it would be: disappointing. I don’t hate it and have (somewhat) enjoyed using it, but it could use some major improvements.

In case you haven’t heard of the original Mona, it’s a sleek, silicone, rechargeable vibrator designed for g-spot stimulation. I actually prefer mine for clitoral stimulation, especially combined with dildos because it’s fairly strong, with a wide range of vibration and an easy to grip handle. It’s not the holy grail of g-spot toys for me, but it is for many others. It’s widely loved, so much so that people have made shrines to it, they have back up Monas, and most sex bloggers sing its praises.

The new Mona Wave looks very similar to original Mona. It features the same silky smooth silicone and overall design– the main difference is its control panel, which is made of silicone (instead of hard plastic), with built in, seamless buttons that don’t light up (as opposed to regular Mona’s, which do.) And obviously, it has motion. Here’s a quick overview of its functions:

1- Motion, with vibration

2- Slower motion, with waves of vibration (Useless)

3- Motion, with waves of vibration (My favorite)

4- Motion, quick pulsing vibration

5- Motion, erratic pulsing/waving vibration

6- Motion, no vibration

7- Steady vibration

8- Waves of vibration

9- Quick pulsing vibration

10- Erratic pulsing/waving vibration

pennysblog_monas2I am often in the mood for lazy orgasms (that’s why I still love my Hitachi), so I thought I’d love that the Mona Wave could move around inside of me by itself. It took me quite a bit of finagling it around to see what worked, but after a while, I found the way it works best for me–holding onto it firmly, pushing the handle down, so its arm moves up against my g-spot. Holding it any other way just doesn’t give my g-spot enough pressure or do much for me. Since I have to grip it firmly to take advantage of its motion, it’s somewhat awkward for me to hold. And I’ve tried thrusting with it, but the feeling of the motion is lost when I do, which kind of defeats the purpose of a moving vibrator.

At first, Mona Wave’s arm feels good–sort of like a finger. I start to get that need to squirt g-spot feeling with minimal effort…but then I want need more. If I was using a dildo, this is the time when I’d start thrusting harder and faster. If I was with a partner, they’d move faster, add another finger, something to up the intensity.

The problem with Mona Wave is that its movement is not adjustable, nor is its speed. It only moves 30 degrees. It will not go any faster. And when I get tired of the first mode (movement+vibration) and click through to the second function to try something else, it actually gets slower, which pisses me off every time. I do enjoy the third function’s waving vibration+movement, but the movement still isn’t what I’d like it to be. I can orgasm from it, but I rarely squirt. And when I do, it’s usually the Tiniest Squirt Ever. It just doesn’t have the intensity I need to leave my legs shaking and my Throe soaked.

The Mona Wave is touted as offering a come hither motion for “finger-like” g-spot stimulation. When I picture “finger-like motion,” I picture something curling up inside of me, tugging on my g-spot, stroking it, moving faster when needed. I don’t picture a finger that only moves 30 degrees and stays at the same damn speed the whole time. When I first got the Mona Wave, I sent a video of it to my best friend. “That’s it? That is so not a come hither motion” was her reaction. Yep–that pretty much sums it up.

When I use Mona Wave clitorally, all I can think is robot finger. Since I can hold Mona Wave and allow it to stroke my clit, it does feel similar to a finger touching me, which is pretty damn cool–a robot finger, granted, because the movement is metronomical, but still cool. Since its pace is predictable, it takes me a long time to come, but when I finally do after all of the build up, it feels pretty explosive. I still think it would benefit from more variance in speed and movement clitorally though, just as it would for g-spot stimulation.

There’s one major problem with the Mona Wave’s motion though, y’all, no matter how you’re using it: the weird noise. The original Mona isn’t exactly silent, but at least I can easily tune out its low hum of vibration. I cannot tune out Mona Wave’s annoying sound. It’s so obnoxious that Jake could hear it from the other room, where he was sawing wood. No joke. Not even wearing headphones and listening to porn will drown it out. It is incredibly distracting and the biggest deterrent to me wanting to use it.

Vibration wise, Mona Wave feels slightly less powerful at full power than regular Mona, which is also a shame. Otherwise, it’s similar, with the same moderately rumbly vibration at its lower settings and buzzier vibrations at its stronger levels. It also has less vibration functions, 4 vs Mona’s 10.

Using the Mona Wave’s control panel is a little different from Mona–instead of pressing the +/- buttons to start and adjust the vibration and then the ▲/▼ buttons to cycle through the functions, you simply click the middle of the panel, and it will turn on and begin at the last setting you used, which is pretty rad and also makes it easier to quickly turn off. It’s slightly harder to find the buttons during use, since they aren’t raised and don’t light up like regular Mona’s, but you could argue that it’s easier to clean since the buttons don’t have crevices.  Like Mona, you can adjust the vibration power during any function with the +/- buttons. You also have the option making its curve more prominent if you hit the ▲ button to stop it just right when switching from motion to its steady vibration mode.

As is standard of LELO toys, Mona Wave is waterproof/submersible, rechargeable (2 hours for full charge), and comes with a satin storage bag, a sample LELO lube packet, and a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty/10 year guarantee.

pennysblog_monas3I wish LELO had asked me to test out the Mona Wave before it was released, because I think it has the potential to be a fantastic vibrator with some improvements. Obviously, the sound needs to go, and I wish it could move faster and possibly more than 30 degrees. If it had a motion function that had a sort of unpredictable, erratic movement so you didn’t know what was coming (like a real finger)–that’d be even better.

As is though, I don’t recommend dropping $179 on it. Sure, it can make me come–but its sound is a constant annoyance, and I don’t want my orgasms mixed with frustration. If it was as strong as Mona and wasn’t so damn loud, I’d probably recommend getting it over regular Mona because why not have the option of masturbating with a robot finger? And hello, just look at the gorgeous blue one!1 And if it moved more and faster, maybe I could forgive its awful sound. But since it’s loud and doesn’t give me what I want, I’ll rarely use it. Unless LELO fixes some of the issues I’ve mentioned, I’m staying loyal to regular Mona.

I should disclaim here that I’m not a huge fan of regular Mona’s shape for g-spot stimulation, so there’s a chance you might love the Mona Wave’s motion even though I don’t. If you don’t need a lot of movement or speed for g-spot stimulation and think you can get over the noise, go for it. If the sound makes you so frustrated that you throw it against the wall though, I’ll have to say I told you so.

All of that said, I did have some epic double Mona orgasms (with Mona Wave pushing up on my g-spot and original Mona on my clit) that almost let me overlook its noise…but I shouldn’t need 2 versions of a toy to enjoy it properly. And come on, for $179 I expect a vibrator that doesn’t sound like a cheap POS. $179 buys a lot of pizza.

If you want it, get the Mona Wave directly from Lelo or from SheVibe, one of my fave retailers.

Thanks for sending me the Mona Wave in exchange for my honest review, LELO!


  1. I didn’t get my choice of color. 

Review: Shibari Halo Wand

pennysblog_halowandOn paper, the Shibari Halo Wand seemed like it would be an amazing wand vibrator. Its entire head is covered in non-porous silicone that doesn’t attract lint, it’s USB rechargeable1, and it’s waterproof.  Although it’s large (12″), it’s light and fairly quiet.2  It’s also inexpensive ($55 from SheVibe) for all of the qualities it boasts.

Before I actually used it, I thought the Halo Wand would be strong enough to easily get me off. Oh boy, was I wrong. The Halo is strong enough to bring me right to the brink of orgasm, but its vibration feels surface level and not satisfying, and I can never quite get there. It’s like smelling a pizza but not being able to eat it. Or holding an amazing sex toy that I don’t have enough money to buy. It’s like I’m flying on the way to an exotic vacation, but instead of landing on white sand beaches and drinking margaritas, I’m doomed to circle in the stuffy plane forever with a screaming toddler kicking the back of my seat.

I liked to be teased in the right context, and I don’t think a sex toy necessarily has to get you off or get you off quickly to be worth using…but the Halo is a wand vibrator. It’s not trying to feel like oral or provide some unique stimulation–its purpose is to vibrate to orgasm, and it’s failing at life. About half the time I run and grab my Hitachi after I use the Halo in a desperate attempt to get the release I need, only to realize I feel desensitized. The other half of the time I use it, I just give up on orgasm all together.

I can get off from a wide range of vibration, but for some reason, the Halo just does not work for me. To the touch, the Halo feels very similar to the Mystic Wand, but my clit is much more perceptive, and the Mystic can get me off, while the Halo doesn’t. I did finally have an orgasm from it once, but it was when I was so aroused that I could’ve gotten off humping a pillow, so that hardly counts. And even then, it took longer than it should have and left me less than satisfied.

Besides that fact that the Halo Wand fails its basic purpose for me, it also has some other issues. For one, it’s advertised as a 10 speed vibrator, when in reality it only has 2 steady speeds and 8 vibration patterns. And you have to click through each speed to get to the next, so if you like a vibration pattern you have to go through all of the other patterns to get to it. Since it’s not that strong, it also seems unnecessarily large.

I’m picky when it comes to wand vibrators. I don’t like the Doxy either (though it can at least get me off), while many other bloggers love it. And some other bloggers like the Halo…so it’s possible you might like it even though I can’t stand it. So far the only wands I actually enjoy are the Hitachi & the Mystic (though I rarely use it since it’s battery operated.)

I really wanted to love the Shibari Halo Wand. Hell, I really wanted to at least like it. It’s sleek, its head is made of silicone, it’s rechargeable, it’s waterproof–all things I want to see from more wand vibrators. In theory you might enjoy it since we’re all different etc. etc., but after the depressing number of orgasms the Halo has ruined for me, I definitely don’t recommend it.

Thanks for sending me the Halo in exchange for my honest review, SheVibe!


  1. and also comes with a wall converter 

  2. It’s quieter than the Hitachi or Doxy and about the same noise wise as the Mystic. 

Review: Lelo Mona 2

pennysblog_monaIt was really only a couple of years, but I felt like I’d been waiting my whole life for the LELO Mona 2. It started with Epiphora’s glowing review. Then I felt its rumbly goodness at Catalyst Con last year. As time went by, it seemed like everyone and their Mom had a Mona except me (seriously, my best friend’s Mom has one.) I almost resigned myself as the person who would just photograph other people’s Monas, but thankfully LELO saved the day by sending me one to review.

The Lelo Mona 2 has a cult following. People make shrines to it. They have back up Monas. They’ve written songs about it and painted paintings in its honor. So to say I was excited to finally have a Mona to call my own would be an understatement.

By now I’m sure you’re wondering…does it live up to all the hype? Well, take a look at the brief notes I took after my first few times using Mona:

1st orgasm- I used Mona clitorally, it sent chills throughout my body even on its low setting. I was so fucking excited, I felt like I was losing my virginity again, I came at full power, and YESSS thank GOB for Mona.

2nd orgasm- Like 5 minutes after my 1st. I was famished and deciding between pizza and another orgasm and Mona won!

3rd- Came like a mofo during sex with Jake.

If you know me at all, then you know that it is a BIG DEAL when I choose anything over pizza, especially when I’m starving. So to choose another orgasm over cheesy heaven while my tummy is grumbling is one of the best compliments I could give a vibrator.

But since not everyone compares vibrators to pizza, let’s talk about why the Mona rocks a bit more objectively.

The Mona 2 is an all around solid vibrator. It’s 8″ long, with about 5 insertable inches1 of Lelo’s signature smooth, magical lint repelling silicone. It features a hard, curved body, and it has a wide range of power levels, from a light rumble to strong, satisfying vibrations. It has 6 vibration patters, which can be enjoyed at any power level. Its interface is sleek and user friendly–the buttons are easy to find and press, and they light up. It can be used both vaginally and clitorally. It’s completely submersible and easy to clean. Basically, Mona’s resume is extremely impressive.

Although it’s designed as a g-spot vibrator, where Mona really excels for me is clitorally. Its tapered shape is perfect for resting on my clit, and its long handle is a godsend because its easy to grip, and since its vibration is focused in the silicone portion, my hand doesn’t go numb. Its handle makes it very easy to use simultaneously with a dildo, a penis, or a butt toy–I can even have hands free orgasms with it squeezed between my legs while I’m on my side.

Mona is also the first vibrator I’ve actually enjoyed with the vibration turned on internally. It’s rumbly enough at its low settings that it doesn’t feel too tickly (as most internal vibes feel to me), though it’s too much and feels like it’s rattling my g-spot at its higher speeds. Its hard, curved shape feels good while thrusting and squeezing or just vibrating against my g-spot, and its fun to alternate between clitoral and internal vibration.

That said, Mona is not the holy grail of g-spot toys for me. Sometimes Mona’s shape and vibration is enough for my g-spot, but often it just doesn’t feel quite curved enough or girthy enough. When I’m craving an intense, squirty session, I’ll reach for the Pure Wand, Buck, or another one of my favorite dildos…but often with Mona on my clit! And although it doesn’t always wow mine, plenty of other people’s g-spots adore it. In fact, I seem to be part of a minority of people who don’t love it unquestionably for g-spotting.

pennysblog_mona2

Mona is one of my favorite vibes, and I highly recommend it for most people. Its shape, strong vibration, and easy to hold handle make it a fantastic all around vibe. It’s a great first time (or any time) vibe purchase, since it’s incredibly versatile–it has a wide range of vibration, it can be used vaginally or clitorally, and it’s completely waterproof. It’s also sleek, rechargeable, and as is standard for Lelo, it’s made of smooth, hygienic silicone and comes with a 1 year warranty. If you’re like me, Mona might even cause you to question the meaning of life after you choose it over pizza…

The only people I don’t recommend Mona to: people who are looking for very intense g-spot stimulation and prefer girth or an extreme curve, or people looking for very strong vibration. Mona is rumbly and strong, but it’s not a powerhouse. If you want/need the most powerful vibrations available, I’d recommend the Magic Wand, Eroscillator, or Tango instead. And if you’re looking for intense, direct g-spot stim, the Pure Wand or Comet Wand.

Get the Mona directly from Lelo, or at SheVibeLovehoney UK, or Early to Bed.

Thanks Lelo, for sending me this amazing vibe in exchange for my honest review!

 


  1. ~1.5.” max girth 

Review: Lelo LUNA Smart Bead

pennysblog_LUNASmartBeadA week ago Lelo came out with their new LUNA Smart Bead™, a product that is supposed to function as a personal trainer for your vag. Sounds amazing right?! Spoiler alert: be prepared for an incredible let down.

The idea behind the LUNA Smart Bead™ is that you insert it and follow a 5 minute workout program, squeezing your PC muscles when it vibrates and relaxing them when it doesn’t. Based on your performance, it rates your orgasm potential and gives you a routine based on that the next time you use it. After doing the routine every day, you’re supposed to progress to higher levels and strengthen your muscles over time and therefore your orgasm potential as well.

The Smart Bead™ is silicone (but is hard and has no give), and its retrieval cord seems to be made of plastic, though the manual doesn’t specify. It’s fairly easy to use–here’s how it works:

-You press the power button to turn on the LUNA Smart Bead™. It blinks to show you what Level you’re on (it starts you at L3: Intermediate.)

-It gives you a 5 minute kegel exercise routine to follow–when it vibrates, you squeeze your PC muscles, and when it stops, you relax them. As you squeeze, it increases the vibration (you may or may not feel it.)

-After the 5 minute routine, it signals it’s over by vibrating 3 times quickly and then turns itself off.

-The next time you turn on the LUNA Smart Bead™, it blinks to show what Level you’re on (it remembers based on your last workout and is supposed to select the right level for your next routine.)

I was really excited to try out the LUNA Smart Bead™ because I like the idea of following a short kegel workout routine everyday, and a product that can rate my orgasm potential seemed like a really cool idea. Since Lelo’s other kegel workout product, the Luna Beads, are awesome, my expectations were high.

But sadly, the LUNA Smart Bead™ is so disappointing, I’m embarrassed for Lelo.

First of all, it doesn’t seem to measure “orgasm potential” or really anything for that matter. The first time I used the Smart Bead™, I almost threw it against the wall when it gave my vagina an L1 rating. I know my vagina isn’t an L1: Beginner, “For the uninitiated who has never practiced before” (quote from the manual.) Um, no. I have long, intense orgasms. I squeeze and workout my muscles frequently. I was incredibly insulted, although I had a hunch that the Smart Bead™ was full of shit already.

pennysblog_lunasmartbead2So, Jake and I experimented with the Smart Bead™. Jake, who does body building and is very strong, went through the 5 minute program, squeezing the bead with his hand as hard as possible, and it gave him a L3 Intermediate score. Afterwards, I tried squeezing it with my hand, and it gave me a L4 Advanced score. There is no way I was squeezing it as hard as Jake, so it clearly isn’t actually measuring strength. Within the week I’ve had it, I’ve also tried it as intended vaginally, and it’s given me scores of L1, L3, & L2. If it measures anything (which I’m skeptical that it does) it’s definitely not muscle strength or “orgasm potential.”

The second fail of the LUNA Smart Bead™ is its vibration. I get that it’s supposed to be a workout product and doesn’t necessarily need to be super strong, but the vibration is disgraceful. Let me put it this way: it’s about the same strength as the first speed on the crappy Princessa. It’s supposed to increase in strength as you squeeze, and sure, it does…it goes from incredibly weak, buzzy vibration, to slightly less weak, still incredibly useless vibration. Coming from Lelo, makers of Mona, this is just sad. And in the manual, it claims that the Smart Bead™ provides a continuous vibration mode “purely for pleasure.” HA.

Gross.

Gross.

In addition to its questionable workout levels and disappointing vibration, the Smart Bead™ is battery operated. Lelo products are known for being rechargeable as a standard, so this is a backwards move on their part. And not only is it battery operated, you have to take off the top of the Smart Bead™ to insert the battery, so it has a seam on the part you insert. Lube and juices crust along the inside of the bead, and it’s gnarly. And since it’s only waterproof when closed, that means it’s pretty much impossible to clean thoroughly. Oh, hell no.

Regardless of the fact that it doesn’t really measure orgasm potential, it could be debated that using the Smart Bead™ daily could increase your muscle strength. And sure, I guess it could, but using it is a snooze fest. It’s too small to provide any real muscle resistance, its vibration is weak, and it will occasionally stop vibrating for 10+ seconds , which doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you’re focusing only on the program, it’s enough to almost put you to sleep. Don’t worry though, it will eventually awaken you with sad vibration. And then disappoint you by its crappy level system. And then straight up infuriate you by the fact that it can’t be cleaned thoroughly and that it’s battery operated. Oh, and to add to it all, it only comes in 2 shades of pink. I guess it makes sense that it debuted near Halloween, because the Smart Bead™ is so bad, it’s scary.

I haven’t been this disappointed by a Lelo product since the horrible Ida. At least the Smart Bead™ doesn’t hurt. But its design is incredibly flawed, its vibration is sad, and it’s a ridiculous $109. If you saw the Smart Bead™ and thought it’d be cool to try, I strongly recommend that you reconsider. Get the Luna Beads instead, and let’s hope Lelo decides to fix the Smart Bead™, because it had the potential to be great…but instead it’s just an incredible disappointment.

Thanks for sending me the Smart Bead™ in exchange for my honest review, Lelo!

Review: Minna Limon

pennysblog_limon1The Minna Limon is a photo op waiting to happen: it’s a vibrator that resembles a lemon or lime, and its tagline is “Fresh Squeezed.” But the Limon is more than just a cutesy fruit shaped sex toy–it uses unique squeeze technology which allows you to customize its vibration.

Made of body safe silicone, the Limon has a round body, a tapered tip, and a single button for turning it on and off and controlling which vibration mode it’s in. It has three vibration modes:

1. Free Play Mode- Press once to turn on the Limon. Now, when you squeeze it, it vibrates, and the harder you squeeze, the stronger its vibration.

2. Record Mode- With this function, any pattern you squeeze will be repeated back to you, but anytime you stop squeezing and start again, it starts the recording over. If you want to lock a pattern, hit the button again to go into lock mode.

3. Lock mode- In this mode, whatever pattern you recorded will play back over and over, even if you squeeze the Limon again. If you find a pattern you like, this is the way to go.

Its round shape seems somewhat ergonomic, but since the whole body of the Limon vibrates, it makes your hand start to tingle very quickly. It also spins around like it’s dancing, and once you add lube to the mix, the Limon can be very difficult to grasp securely. It’s as if the Limon has a mind of its own–and it’s a rebel. It doesn’t want to give you pleasure, it wants to sneak off and join the circus. It’s the Runaway Vibrator. As catchy as the fruit theme is, it’d be easier to use with a handle or something more to grasp.

pennysblog_limon2Despite the Limon being challenging to hold, I still enjoy using it because its vibration is strong and rumbly (power wise, it’s similar to Mona), and I love that I can create my own pulsation patterns. I usually don’t like the pre-programmed pulsations in vibrators because they often feel robotic, but with the Limon, I can create a pattern than works and tease myself really well, prolonging my orgasm until it’s explosive. My favorite pattern is a variation of pulse, pulse, longer pulse on high power, so it rumbles and stimulates my inner clit but doesn’t make me come immediately because it isn’t steady vibration.

My clit really enjoys round vibrators/being surrounded with vibration, and pinpoint stimulation isn’t my go to, so the Limon’s round shape works out well for me. Although its tip looks like it’s meant for pinpoint clitoral simulation, since it’s so short, it’s not going to work for everyone’s clit, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep that in mind.

My favorite ways to use the Limon are for clitoral only stimulation alone or during penetration with a partner. Since it’s hard to hold and also requires two hands to program how you like it, using it by myself with dildos just doesn’t work out well. The Limon is one of my favorite vibes to use during penetration with a partner though…the teasing pulsation has led to me having up to 5 orgasms in a row! Some other great things about the Limon: it’s very quiet, it’s waterproof, it’s (USB) rechargeable, and its silicone is silky smooth/doesn’t attract lint as much as a lot of other silicone.

Here are a few tips for using the Limon:

-Read the manual–it’s helpful.

-Only put a small drop of lube on it since it’s very hard to hold if it’s all lubey.

-Once you have a pattern you like set up, grasp the Limon by its hard sides–it’s easier to hold that way.

-To create a steady vibration mode, squeeze the Limon with one hand, and simultaneously use your other hand to hit the button twice to lock it.

pennysblog_limon3

Besides the Limon being difficult to hold, I also had issues with defective Limons. Plural. The first Limon I received didn’t work at all, and the second worked for a few weeks, but then got stuck in charging mode (the light was on even when it was unplugged) and then stopped working completely. The third one seems to work fine, but I’ve only had it for a couple of weeks. Normally I wouldn’t recommend a product that had this many issues, but I know a lot of other bloggers who’ve tried the Limon and haven’t had any problems, so perhaps it was just bad luck. The Limon does come with a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty as well, so if there’s an issue, Minna will take care of it quickly.

I was somewhat concerned about flying with my Limon, since their website says air travel can deflate it, but I took it along on 5 flights during some recent traveling, and that didn’t happen at all. Since it’s not lockable for travel, I drained its battery life to ensure it wouldn’t go off during security, and I didn’t have any issues with it or my other toys in my carry on.

The Limon could definitely use some improvements–it would benefit from a handle or some shape that was easier to hold, it should be lockable for travel, and I wish you could save vibration patterns. But even though the Limon has its flaws, the fact that it can make me come hard (and sometimes over and over) means I am able to overlook them and enjoy it anyway–but I don’t recommend it for everyone.

Who I do recommend the Limon for: people who want a unique vibrator to use for teasing or who want to try customizable vibration patterns, people who like rumbly vibration but don’t need super strong toys. Who I don’t recommend it for: people who prefer steady vibration or those who have hand/wrist issues. I also wouldn’t recommend it as a first time vibrator, since it’s a bit complicated to use.

Thanks Burlesque Toyshop! (now closed)

Review: Doxy Wand Massager

pennysblog_doxywand It’s no secret that I like power. Don’t get me wrong–I enjoy many types of vibrators and don’t always want jack-hammer strength, but when I’m feeling lazy, wands are perfect for no fuss quickies.

So I was really excited about trying out the Doxy Massager, a relatively new wand from the UK that’s touted as “the world’s most powerful mains operated wand massager,” with up to 9,000 RPM. The Doxy’s design is similar to the Magic Wand, with a 9.5″ body attached to a 3″ long PVC head that can move around a bit. Its vibration speeds are controlled with push buttons, and it has a ~9 ft. long cord.

So since I’m a Magic Wand lover, and they seem similar, how does the Doxy compare?

To start, the Doxy has a wider range of vibration. At its low speeds, it’s weaker than the Magic Wand, at its middle speeds it’s similar in strength to the low speed on the Magic Wand, and at its high speeds it’s similar to1 the Magic Wand’s high speed. If you’re measuring by RPM, the Doxy might technically be the most powerful wand in the world2…but that doesn’t mean it’s the best.

pennysblog_doxyvsmagicwandYou know those rough roller coasters that are more painful than fun, the ones that thrash your neck around and leave you with an overpowering headache so you can’t even feel the dips and turns anymore? That’s how my clit feels when using the Doxy.

Though the Doxy is very powerful at its highest speeds, it’s not a good kind of power. The vibration is very buzzy, and my clit immediately starts to itch like crazy–it’s unpleasant and desensitizing.

At its middle speeds, the Doxy feels similar to the Magic Wand, but to me it still feels buzzier. The lowest 2 speeds of the Doxy are the deepest and most enjoyable, but they’re weaker than the Magic Wand. The pulse setting has potential, but I wish you could control the intensity of the pulse rather than just the speed3

When you turn on the Doxy, it doesn’t start at its lower power setting, as most vibes do, it starts near full power. I don’t like this design because I prefer to work my way up in vibration strength, and since I don’t like the higher settings, it means I have to turn it down every time I turn on the Doxy. Otherwise the Doxy is easy to use though.

Sound wise, the Doxy is very quiet at its low settings (much quieter than the Magic Wand), but when you turn it up, it sounds like an airplane taking off, and unless you want to close your eyes and imagine a mile high club fantasy, it’s distracting and not discreet.

pennysblog_doxywandheadAs for cleaning, the Doxy’s head is made of medical grade PVC. I assumed it was porous, but the owner of Doxy has claimed it’s not. I want to look into this more before I make an assertion either way. It’s also obviously not waterproof since it’s a plug-in, so I clean mine by wiping it with a soapy rag, taking care not to get water on the rest of the wand.

The Doxy seems like it should be better than the Magic Wand. It has a wider range of speeds, a pulse setting, and higher potential RPM. But I don’t judge vibes based on their qualities on paper–my clit makes the ultimate decision. And apparently my clit is pickier than I thought, because although they’re similar in strength, my clit is fiercely loyal to the Magic Wand, and it turns its nose up at the Doxy.

So, will your clit/balls/perineum/penis/tentacles like the Doxy? Obviously I can’t say for sure. If you enjoy very intense, buzzy vibration, you might love the Doxy. If having a wide range of vibration and a pulse setting in a wand is really important to you, the Doxy might work.

But if you’re just looking for a strong no fuss wand, I’d recommend the Magic Wand over the Doxy–it’s similar (and in my opinion better), and it’s $75 cheaper. If you’re in the UK and the Hitachi isn’t an option, Lilly recommends the Smart Wand Large over the Doxy4 And if the Magic Wand/Doxy/Smart Wand seem like too much for you but you still want a wand, I’d recommend the Mystic Wand instead.

If you do decide on a Doxy and are in the US, use the coupon code DOXYUSA for £12.99 off of your order from Belle de Soir. For UK readers, the Doxy is on sale for  £69.99, and there’s also a sale running right now that includes the Doxy, a glass toy, and lube for  £89.99.

Thanks Belle de Soir!

 


  1. and maybe even stronger than 

  2. compared to the Magic Wand’s 5,000-6,000 RPM 

  3. you can only control the time it takes for the vibration to build from low to high. 

  4. and I trust her opinion.