Review: Lelo LUNA Smart Bead

pennysblog_LUNASmartBeadA week ago Lelo came out with their new LUNA Smart Bead™, a product that is supposed to function as a personal trainer for your vag. Sounds amazing right?! Spoiler alert: be prepared for an incredible let down.

The idea behind the LUNA Smart Bead™ is that you insert it and follow a 5 minute workout program, squeezing your PC muscles when it vibrates and relaxing them when it doesn’t. Based on your performance, it rates your orgasm potential and gives you a routine based on that the next time you use it. After doing the routine every day, you’re supposed to progress to higher levels and strengthen your muscles over time and therefore your orgasm potential as well.

The Smart Bead™ is silicone (but is hard and has no give), and its retrieval cord seems to be made of plastic, though the manual doesn’t specify. It’s fairly easy to use–here’s how it works:

-You press the power button to turn on the LUNA Smart Bead™. It blinks to show you what Level you’re on (it starts you at L3: Intermediate.)

-It gives you a 5 minute kegel exercise routine to follow–when it vibrates, you squeeze your PC muscles, and when it stops, you relax them. As you squeeze, it increases the vibration (you may or may not feel it.)

-After the 5 minute routine, it signals it’s over by vibrating 3 times quickly and then turns itself off.

-The next time you turn on the LUNA Smart Bead™, it blinks to show what Level you’re on (it remembers based on your last workout and is supposed to select the right level for your next routine.)

I was really excited to try out the LUNA Smart Bead™ because I like the idea of following a short kegel workout routine everyday, and a product that can rate my orgasm potential seemed like a really cool idea. Since Lelo’s other kegel workout product, the Luna Beads, are awesome, my expectations were high.

But sadly, the LUNA Smart Bead™ is so disappointing, I’m embarrassed for Lelo.

First of all, it doesn’t seem to measure “orgasm potential” or really anything for that matter. The first time I used the Smart Bead™, I almost threw it against the wall when it gave my vagina an L1 rating. I know my vagina isn’t an L1: Beginner, “For the uninitiated who has never practiced before” (quote from the manual.) Um, no. I have long, intense orgasms. I squeeze and workout my muscles frequently. I was incredibly insulted, although I had a hunch that the Smart Bead™ was full of shit already.

pennysblog_lunasmartbead2So, Jake and I experimented with the Smart Bead™. Jake, who does body building and is very strong, went through the 5 minute program, squeezing the bead with his hand as hard as possible, and it gave him a L3 Intermediate score. Afterwards, I tried squeezing it with my hand, and it gave me a L4 Advanced score. There is no way I was squeezing it as hard as Jake, so it clearly isn’t actually measuring strength. Within the week I’ve had it, I’ve also tried it as intended vaginally, and it’s given me scores of L1, L3, & L2. If it measures anything (which I’m skeptical that it does) it’s definitely not muscle strength or “orgasm potential.”

The second fail of the LUNA Smart Bead™ is its vibration. I get that it’s supposed to be a workout product and doesn’t necessarily need to be super strong, but the vibration is disgraceful. Let me put it this way: it’s about the same strength as the first speed on the crappy Princessa. It’s supposed to increase in strength as you squeeze, and sure, it does…it goes from incredibly weak, buzzy vibration, to slightly less weak, still incredibly useless vibration. Coming from Lelo, makers of Mona, this is just sad. And in the manual, it claims that the Smart Bead™ provides a continuous vibration mode “purely for pleasure.” HA.

Gross.

Gross.

In addition to its questionable workout levels and disappointing vibration, the Smart Bead™ is battery operated. Lelo products are known for being rechargeable as a standard, so this is a backwards move on their part. And not only is it battery operated, you have to take off the top of the Smart Bead™ to insert the battery, so it has a seam on the part you insert. Lube and juices crust along the inside of the bead, and it’s gnarly. And since it’s only waterproof when closed, that means it’s pretty much impossible to clean thoroughly. Oh, hell no.

Regardless of the fact that it doesn’t really measure orgasm potential, it could be debated that using the Smart Bead™ daily could increase your muscle strength. And sure, I guess it could, but using it is a snooze fest. It’s too small to provide any real muscle resistance, its vibration is weak, and it will occasionally stop vibrating for 10+ seconds , which doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you’re focusing only on the program, it’s enough to almost put you to sleep. Don’t worry though, it will eventually awaken you with sad vibration. And then disappoint you by its crappy level system. And then straight up infuriate you by the fact that it can’t be cleaned thoroughly and that it’s battery operated. Oh, and to add to it all, it only comes in 2 shades of pink. I guess it makes sense that it debuted near Halloween, because the Smart Bead™ is so bad, it’s scary.

I haven’t been this disappointed by a Lelo product since the horrible Ida. At least the Smart Bead™ doesn’t hurt. But its design is incredibly flawed, its vibration is sad, and it’s a ridiculous $109. If you saw the Smart Bead™ and thought it’d be cool to try, I strongly recommend that you reconsider. Get the Luna Beads instead, and let’s hope Lelo decides to fix the Smart Bead™, because it had the potential to be great…but instead it’s just an incredible disappointment.

Thanks for sending me the Smart Bead™ in exchange for my honest review, Lelo!

17 thoughts on “Review: Lelo LUNA Smart Bead”

  1. Epiphora

    Ooh hoo hooooo boy, this is a doozy of a mistake. I had no idea it didn’t actually measure strength, nor did I realize it was battery-operated. I love the picture of the gunk. So true. Ugh.

  2. Fodra

    Wow, that’s sad, I guess I shouldn’t have expected LELO to get it right, given their current streak. I’m hoping a company gets a product that gives kegel feedback right at some point.

  3. Pete James

    That’s disappointing :/ You definitely just saved a lot of readers from wasting their hard earned cash on this. Love the visual of the “crust” :p

  4. Heaven

    Hearing a lot of not so great reviews about this toy and then it runs on batteries for the price it is. Sounds like something to stay away from.

  5. Brian

    It seems like Lelo’s really taken a nose dive in creativity and quality lately. I don’t know when the last good Lelo product review I read was. I think the last “NEW” product that got high marks from reviewers were the luna beads (which really are awesome). I don’t think Mona 2 counts since it’s an upgrade, not a new product.

    Thanks for saving lots of folks a ton of $$$.

  6. Property Of Potter

    I wonder if you received a defective unit. I haven’t experienced any of the issues you’ve had. No gunk in the battery area, and no decrease in levels. I didn’t play with the settings in hand, but I intentionally started with weak squeezes and worked my way up each time I used it to see if the levels would change. It worked perfectly fine for me.

    Of course, I haven’t had it long enough to test how it works over a long period of time, but I actually enjoy mine apart from the fact it’s battery operated.

  7. Emma

    The fact that it’s battery operated is just inexcusable at this point. I totally get the remotes they have for the hula beads and Ida being battery operated, but those are remotes. They don’t collect gunk like something you PUT IN YOUR VAGINA does. Your review made me giggle pretty hard, and I think it accurately describes the smart bead. Quite frankly, I’m disappointed in other bloggers who didn’t mention any of the features or any downfalls of it. It’s times like these that I know I can always trust you for an honest review (and one that will make me laugh) <3 thank you for telling the truth about the gnarly aspects that no one else had the courage to mention.

  8. Dangerous Lilly

    The only thing Lelo has really done RIGHT in the last few years was make the “2” versions of their earlier toys. I am 100% not surprised to hear that this is an overpriced piece of shit gimmick.

  9. Pingback: HedoVibes Round Up #64 | The Big Gay Review

  10. Pingback: HedoVibes Round Up #64 | HedoVibes.com

  11. Pingback: HedoVibes Roundup Week #64 - Property Of Potter

  12. Pingback: HedoVibes Round Up #64 - Omni Lust

  13. Pingback: HedoVibes Adult Product Review & Giveaway Round Up #64 » Always the Little Spoon

  14. Emmeline Peaches

    Wow it seems like we’ve had quite different experiences. I actually really like my Luna Smart Bead and I’m still using it every day.
    Being battery operated is a bit of a pain, especially for the price, but so far I’ve ha no problems cleaning it and the levels haven’t jumped all over the place.
    I have to agree with you, though, that the Lelo Luna Smart Bead doesn’t offer much in the way of feedback (and a I touched upon that in my own review) but so far it’s been quite enjoyable to use.
    I guess it just goes to show how different people’s experiences can be

  15. Pingback: Sex Toy Review Round Up: Hedovibes #64 | Cara Sutra

  16. Pingback: Product Review: The Lelo Luna Smart Bead | Emmeline Peaches Reviews

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>