Pictured: Lilly holding Lunabelle‘s Crazy Corncob dildo while we admired her sex toy collection at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last year. I had so much fun bonding with my peeps (and doing impromptu naked photoshoots, like you do.) Sadly I won’t be able to make it this year, but I’ll be there with the #blogsquad in spirit.
Happy Toy Tuesday y’all!
Waiting until it’s ripe…
🍆 🍆 🍆
Pictured: Uncut #2
Pictured: New Tantus Rumble vibe
Happy Toy Tuesday!
While vibrators in general aren’t exclusive to clits and vaginas, there aren’t a lot of vibes designed specifically with penises in mind, so my partner Jake was excited to try out the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo.
The Pulse is a masturbator style vibrator made of silicone, with a motor that vibrates against the frenulum and two flexible wings that wrap around the shaft. There are two versions of the Pulse–the Solo, which has just the internal motor, and the one I have, the Duo, that’s marketed as a couples’ toy and features a second remote controlled external motor for use with a partner. My Pulse is also the updated model–it’s now waterproof and has 5 patterns in addition to steady vibration.
As excited as Jake was about the Pulse initially, I could tell it was a dud for him when after only trying it a couple of times he said “oh, I guess I have to try that thing again” like it was homework instead of a treat.
It’s not that it’s a totally crappy toy–the internal motor has strong, rumbly vibration, it’s made of high quality silicone, and it’s fairly easy to use, with an on/off button on the left side and +/- intensity controls on the right where your hand rests, though it is rather bulky and heavy.
The problem is the Pulse’s strokability. The instructions claim that it can be used as either just a vibrator without lube or as a typical masturbator with lube, but since the silicone is rigid and bulky, it’s not easily thrustable, even with lube. The stiff silicone hits Jake’s head if he tries to stroke with it, which is uncomfortable, so he’s stuck using it stationary with only the vibration, which is stimulating at first, but without any motion becomes desensitizing. Using it for too long has actually makes him loose his erection, which is definitely a fail. He’d rather use a Fleshlight, a Tenga Egg, his hand, or pretty much anything rather than use the Pulse again now that we’re done reviewing it.
But what about using the Pulse as a “couples’ toy,” since it has an external motor?
First off, Jake doesn’t love vibration by itself, so obviously he wasn’t going to love it1, but we tried it anyways (because #sexbloggerlyfe.)
The external motor has 3 steady speeds and is decently strong, but unlike the internal motor its vibration is buzzy2, which insults my clit. It’s also hard to keep it in place. We tried it with him on top, but if he moved a certain way, it felt abrasive. With me on top it was slightly better, but one slap on my boobs or twitch and it’d move away from where it felt best on my clit. Oh, and did I mention that it makes a horrible rattling sound?
So basically it was like Jake was wearing a bulky, loud cock ring except that you can’t have penetrative sex with it on. And I’m totally down with vibration instead of penetration but having to grind on my partner with an obnoxious chunk of silicone between us with buzzy, loud vibrations, hoping that it won’t move and rub my clit the wrong way is just ridiculous. I’ll stick to using a normal rumbly vibe I can control myself, thanks.
The only way I kind of enjoyed the Pulse was around Mustang Royale positioned over my vulva as if it was my cock. Some vibration did transfer while holding it at the base of Mustang, but not enough to get me off.
For us, the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Duo was a mega fail. Jake will never use it again now that our review is done, and I’d rather give up pizza for a month than use it again during partner sex. It wasn’t quite as bad as Ida, but still, remind me to never agree to review a “couples’ toy” again, please.
Although I’m hesitant to say that just because a toy doesn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you3, in this case it’s true. I know some others who love the Pulse, and if you have a penis and enjoy vibration without stroking, you might like it. The internal motor is strong, like Eroscillator strong, and since it’s open, people with erectile dysfunction can still enjoy it while flaccid, which is great.
Thanks Hot Octopuss for sending me the Pulse in exchange for an honest review!
*Dildo pictured: VixSkin Tex
Pictured: Atomic Rose Plug inside of an old lens
Happy Toy Tuesday!