Tag Archives: B Balls

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Fun Factory B Balls

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Fun Factory B Balls

If you read my reviews because you like thinking about me using sex toys and want to get turned on, just stop now. Because this review isn’t going to be sexy1

Basically, the B Balls are like a laxative for my butthole. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

If you read a lot of reviews you may remember Epiphora’s review of the Severin, in which she explains that the plug gives her the feeling of constantly having to poop. Well I get that same feeling using the B Balls… except they actually make me poop.

But first, let’s back track. What are the B Balls?

The B Balls are a cross between a butt plug and anal beads–they consist of two balls2 connected closely together, with a flared base. Inside the balls are weights that are supposed to jiggle around in your butt, similar to how Kegel balls move around inside of the vagina for subtle stimulation. They’re made of matte silicone and have ridges along the outside of each ball.

The B Balls are smaller than some of my other anal toys, and I can insert them fairly easily, but the ridges feel a little abrasive to me, even with plenty of lube. My butt definitely prefers materials like glass, wood, or smooth, seamless silicone.

Now for the (not so) fun part: wearing the B Balls. As soon as I put them in, I feel like I have to poop. Constantly. And often they actually make me poop. Sometimes I can’t keep them in for more than 5 minutes before I am taking them out and pooping…when I had no poop feeling before using them.

Ryder, B Balls, Romp, & Bootie

Ryder, B Balls, Romp, & Bootie

I do have a fast metabolism, but I’m not the Energizer bunny of poop, I swear. And I use plenty of other butt toys and this doesn’t happen. I know other people that have used the B Balls, and this doesn’t happen to them so maybe it’s just me, but something about the hardness of the balls and their shape and placement makes them the poop-whisperer to my butt.

When I’m sitting, the poop sensation is somewhat rectified3, but the balls still don’t really do anything for me. They’re not exciting to squeeze around, they just feel boring and mildly uncomfortable. As for the weights, they do feel kind of cool jiggling around in my butt when I move…but so do the Luna Beads, and they don’t make me feel like pooping.

Another thing that really bothers me about the B Balls is the ridges I mentioned earlier. Not only do they feel kind of irritating, they also collect lube, butt juices and…you guessed it, POOP. It makes them hard to clean, and it makes them retain butt smells like it’s their (night) job4.

I also tried inserting the B Balls vaginally before using them anally, but they’re not designed for that and felt awkward and uncomfortable. As for wearing the B Balls during partner sex or with dildos…I just can’t bring myself to do it. Feeling like I have to poop is about the least sexy sensation I can think of, so…no.

Fun Factory did come up with something new and potentially exciting: jiggle balls for butts. And to be fair, the B Balls are stimulating, but not in the way I want them to be. I know others who have enjoyed them, so they might work for you too, but all they do to me is make me poop. On the plus side, if I’m ever constipated…

If you do decide to get the B Balls, they’re available at SheVibe, Lovehoney US, & Lovehoney UK.

Thanks Fun Factory!

 


  1. unless you think poop is sexy, and if so more power to you. 

  2. 1.25″ & 1.5″ in diameter 

  3. pun intended 

  4. their day job is summoning my poop, obviously