Tag Archives: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat

pennysblog_bettiebatI’m a sucker for Bettie Page stuff, so I was super excited when Lovehoney sent me the Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat to review. The Spanking Bat, which is an oval shaped, two sided paddle with a broad surface area (7” long & 5” wide) and an ergonomic 4” handle, is absolutely stunning. The paddle comes in a fancy box printed with Bettie playing card images along with a Bettie collector card and keychain.

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One side of the paddle is made of black quilted faux leather and has a luxurious vintage feel, and the other side is firmer and features a black and white photo of Bettie showing off her back-seamed fishnets and sequined panties. Even the wrist strap has Bettie Page printed in silver cursive. The paddle is so lovely, I almost wanted to just use it as décor…but of course I had to try it out.

The paddle’s quilted side delivers a soft, gentle feel on impact. Even when Jake spanks me hard with it, it doesn’t hurt. It’s perfect for warm up and sensitizing, and I enjoy its light thuddy feel and the loud noise it makes.

In contrast, the paddle’s stiffer picture side can deliver a bit of sting and color. Still, it doesn’t hurt very much—not nearly as much as say, the Plunge (review upcoming), or leave lasting marks, so it isn’t ideal for heavy impact play.

For me though, the Bettie paddle feels amazing on both sides, and I love the tease of not knowing which will come next. The only downside to the paddle is that it’s so pretty that I’m afraid to get it wet or dirty, which can obviously be a problem when mixing spanking and sex. So far I’ve tried to keep the paddle as clean as possible.

If you’re a fan of Bettie Page and spanking, then this is definitely a must have paddle. It’s perfect for light to moderate impact play, and it’s so gorgeous I’d hang it up on my wall if I wasn’t too busy using it. The Bettie keychain and collector card are a fun bonus—even the packaging, which I usually could care less about, is lovely.

The Picture This Spanking Bat is just one of the many toys in Lovehoney’s Bettie Page line; they also carry a thinner paddle with a different image of Bettie, cuffs, and more. Thanks so much Loevehoney for sending me this awesome paddle in exchange for my honest review!

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