Tag Archives: Bootie

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Fun Factory Bootie

pennysblog_bootieMy butt trusts the Fun Factory Bootie. Unlike larger anal toys, which need to sweet talk my butt for a while, all the Bootie needs is a dab of Sassy, and my butt says, “Hey, come on in! Stay for a while!” like they’re old buddies.

The Bootie is a petite, 3″ long silicone butt plug with a thin neck, a curved bulbous shape, and a base that naturally rests between butt cheeks.

It’s my first curved plug, and when I was about to insert it the first time, I realized I wan’t sure which way it should go. My instincts told me to wear it curving up towards my g-spot, but after trying it both ways, I’ve discovered that my butt actually prefers it the opposite way.

At first I wondered if I was a weirdo for liking it this way, so I did some avid googling and found that people like wearing curved butt toys both ways, though it does seem that more people (including Epiphora, my go-to sex toy expert) like them curved up.

So far, the Bootie is my favorite plug to wear around for long periods of time. Its base is extremely comfortable and as soon as I insert it, I can’t help but squeeze my butt around it to enjoy its stimulating shape, which makes it feel like I’m giving myself a bootie massage, as cheesy as that sounds.

I’d even argue that it reminds me to exercise my PC muscles more so than my Luna Beads, so if you’re not a fan of vag balls (or even if you are), the Bootie could be a great alternative toy to wear as a reminder to do Kegels. Since it’s so small and comfortable, the Bootie does have the ability to camouflage itself into my butt after awhile, but I’m always still aware that it’s there, even if it’s subtle.

I also enjoy wearing the Bootie during sex, and although it’s small, its curved shape makes thrusting feel more intense than usual. It stays in place well most of the time—it’s only fallen out once, in “reverse cowgirl.”* I’ve also used it while masturbating with dildos, but that’s probably my least favorite way to use it, for whatever reason. (I don’t try to understand all of the mysteries of my butt.)

The only downside I can think of to the Bootie is that it is quite small, so if you’re looking for a medium or large plug or want a stronger feeling of fullness, then it’s probably not a good choice. Now that I know I like curved butt plugs, I am even more determined to get my hands on a Pure Plug soon.

Like all silicone toys, the Bootie is hygienic and non-porous and should only be used with water based lubricant. The downside of silicone is that it attracts dust, lint, and pet hair like crazy, and it’s harder to get rid of residual smells than glass or metal toys, so you may want to wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution and let it air dry and/or boil it (I do both for a thorough cleaning) in addition to the standard soap and water method.

The Fun Factory Bootie is a small, easy to insert comfortable yet gently stimulating butt plug. I highly recommend it for beginners to butt play or for anyone looking for a small, comfortable plug or a warm-up for bigger toys or anal sex.

*If there is a better name for this position (other than “crab sex“) someone please enlighten me.