Tag Archives: Eroscillator

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo

Although I constantly have new vibrators to test out for reviews, I still always use my all-time favorite toy. Always. Because even though I like other vibes, so far nothing has ever compared to the easy, powerful orgasms I get from the Hitachi1 Nothing.

Until now.

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Enter: The Eroscillator

Since I got the Eroscillator (Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo) about a month ago, I’ve neglected my Hitachi. I’ve only used it a few times for comparison. Sure, I’ve been using the Eroscillator a lot and trying out its various attachments for review purposes…but it also satisfies me just as much as the Hitachi…if not more. Yes, you heard me right. I’ve finally found a vibe that rivals my beloved Hitachi.

So what is this amazing machine?

The Eroscillator is essentially just a plug-in, 3 speed vibrator that comes with attachments for different sensations. But it’s so much more than that–it’s an orgasm beast machine. Unlike other vibrators, the Eroscillator moves back and forth at 3600 oscillations per minute. And about those orgasms…holy fuck, y’all, they’re intense.

As cliché as it may sound, the Eroscillator brings me “waves” of pleasure. While the Hitachi pounds orgasms out of me, the Eroscillator seems to pull them out from deep inside. Or it rubs them out. It’s hard to articulate. The Eroscillator makes me come so hard that I think I won’t be able to again, but then I do. It turns into a challenge called how many times can I get off, and I always win. It leaves me sweaty, tired, giddy, and satisfied–I often can’t move for at least a few minutes afterwards, and I almost always need immediate munchies to regain my strength.

Now that I’ve introduced you to the best part of the Eroscillator (ahem, the orgasms!), let’s talk about how it works. The Eroscillator’s body is 8″ long and is made of hard plastic with ribbing for easy gripping, and they snap on & off easily. It’s 3 power settings are controlled by sliding the Eroscillator nameplate up and down, and as you do, the power setting you’re on (1, 2, or 3) is displayed. The Eroscillator weighs 8oz (which is light for a wand), and its cord is a generous 12ft, so it’s easy to hold and position even with a partner. Although I can orgasm using it over my panties, I prefer to use it (with lube) for direct clitoral stimulation.

I try not to compare all of my vibes to the Hitachi, since it’s kind of its own animal, but since the Eroscillator is also a powerful plug-in vibe I can’t help but compare them. Logistically speaking the Eroscillator has a lot of advantages over the Hitachi–its cord is twice as long, it’s much quieter and lighter, and it features 3 increasing power levels instead of 2. Although it’s not as powerful as the Hitachi, it can provide equally intense orgasms, so it’s perfect for people who want intense stimulation without the jack-hammer strength of the Hitachi. The Eroscillator is quite pricey though comparatively.

From reading other Eroscillator reviews, I know that preferences for attachments vary wildly, but here’s an overview, in order from my favorite to least favorite. They’re all made of TPR except the Soft Finger, which is made of silicone elastomer. Since they’re porous, they can’t be sterilized or safety shared with non-fluid-bonded partners, which is disappointing.

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1- The Ultra Soft Finger Tip (Aka, the “Marshmallow”)- My favorite attachment by far. I love the broad, soft stimulation it provides. It does dampen the vibration the most out of all of the attachments, but it’s still very powerful.

2- G-Point– The convex side is meant for g-spot stimulation, but my g-spot prefers girth & pressure to vibration, so I don’t like using it internally. The concave side is supposed to be for clitoral stimulation. I actually prefer the convex side, clitorally.

3-Golden Spoon– This one is great for labia stimulation, and I also enjoy either side clitorally.

4-The Seven Pearls of the Orient– This one is supposedly for vaginal or anal penetration, but I don’t recommend using it anally since it could possibly dislodge from the base & become stuck in the rectum. It doesn’t do much for me vaginally, but it’s great for pinpoint clitoral vibration.

5-The French Legionnaire’s Moustache– Bringing hipster to a whole new level. I like the way it feels with the head part on my clit with the mustache tickling my labia. I only like this one at the lower 2 speeds; with the 3rd the bristles irritate me. Prepare for messiness, because the mustache is a lube sprinkler.

6- Ball & Cup Heads– The concave side is designed for clitoral stimulation, and the convex side “might help you to exercise your vagina.2” Both sides tend to annoy my clit (I prefer the other rounder, smoother attachments.)

7-Grapes & Cockscomb Heads– My least favorite attachment. The texture of the grapes irritates my clit to the point that it’s almost painful, and the comb part does slide down the sides of my labia nicely which is good for teasing, but I can’t come unless I press the comb sideways onto my clit, which takes some finagling and is frustrating.

As much as I adore my new Eroscillator, it does have some cons, namely the steep price. The cheapest version of the Top Deluxe with Extra Power (what I have) is $195, and that doesn’t include my fave attachment, the Soft Finger. For $230 you can get it with the Soft Finger, but you don’t get my 2nd fave attachment, the G Point. For the full package with all of the attachments, it’s $255. And although I do think the orgasms are worth it, I’m disappointed that the attachments are TPR and not silicone, especially considering the price. I also wish it came with a nicer case (it includes a plain plastic “storage bag” that’s unimpressive.) Oh, and it also looks like an electric toothbrush and could definitely use an update in the design department I’ve come to love it’s retro/steam punk feel, and who cares what it looks like anyways when it’s delivering me foundation shattering orgasms.

Foundation shattering orgasms

Foundation shattering orgasms

In Epiphora’s review of the Eroscillator, she says “Everyone with a clitoris should own the Eroscillator. Hell, everyone with a soul should own it,” and I fully agree.

If you’re looking for deep vibration and orgasms, you’ll love the Eroscillator. If you love your Hitachi & think nothing else will compare, I dare you to try it. If you have yet to find a vibe that really wows you, Eroscillator is probably the answer. And in the unlikely event that you don’t like the Eroscillator, you can get a refund within 30 days (it’s also warranty protected for a year.)

As far as which one to get, I’ve only tried the Top Deluxe with extra power, so I can’t say how much power you’re losing if you get the original, but honestly I wouldn’t want to lose any of its intensity. If you’re sensitive however, you could go for the original

In case you haven’t noticed, I am heels over head in love with my new Eroscillator. So much so, that I almost cried when I thought it wasn’t working anymore (the A/C adapter just wasn’t inserted all the way, thank GOB.) I’m not going to shun my original favorite though. Comparing the two is kind of like trying to compare cheesecake and pie–they’re both delicious, and I don’t want to live in a world without either one.

**Update 2016: I now recommend ordering the Eroscillator from SheVibe or another trusted retailer rather than directly from Eroscillator.com due to a negative experience one of my readers had when their purple g-point attachment wouldn’t snap on properly. The product was faulty, but the problem was not resolved quickly, and the customer service was crappy.


  1. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s called the “Magic Wand Original” now, but I don’t care. Mine says Hitachi on it, & I will forever call it that. 

  2. As to how, I have no idea.