Tag Archives: Fleshlight

Bite Me

¬†Guess what today is? Well, obviously it’s Halloween…but it’s also Vamp Boobday! Vampires? Boobs? Hell yes! So, what do you think? ūüôā

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Happy Halloween everyone!

I hope it’s fun and sexy! Can anyone guess who I’m going as? ūüôā (Buffy!)

adissolutelifemeans.com/boobday/

Review: Fleshlight Succu Dry

pennysblog_succudry1Before I start talking specifics, can we take a moment to appreciate that the Fleshlight Succu Dry exists? You can fuck a vampire mouth with fangs. Let that sink in.

Since I don’t have a penis, this review is based on my partner Jake’s experiences with the product. And while I love my vagina, I admit I got a bit of penis envy while watching him thrust between those vamp fangs.1

If you’re not familiar with Fleshlights, they’re masturbator sleeves inside of cases that resemble flashlights. They’re made of Fleshlight’s soft Real Feel Super Skin and are modeled after orifices–vaginas, butts, mouths, etc., and you lube them up and go to town.¬†The Succu Dry is part of the Fleshlight Freaks line, which also includes the Drac (anther vampire), Alien, Cyborg, Zombie, and Frankenstein orifices. Fleshlight, you are winning at life.

In addition to the classic Fleshlight design, they also make a line of masturbators in a smaller beer can design, like the Succu Dry, which are less expensive.¬†The main difference between the Succu Dry and other Sex in a Can Fleshlights vs the originals is size. The canals in the original Fleshlights are 9″ long and have a diameter of .5″, whereas the Sex in a Cans are only 5.5″ long and have a diameter of .25.” If you have a bigger than average penis, you might prefer¬†the original design.

Fleshlights come in all sorts of textures, and the Succu Dry has a unique one called “The Fang” featuring “dozens of tiny fangs that will gently bite at you until you’re drained of every last drop.” Basically, they’re nubbies with a pointed shape, but they’re soft. You can adjust the Succu Dry’s suction by tightening or loosening the bottom of the can.

pennysblog_succudry2Overall, Jake has really enjoyed the Succu Dry. He likes the unique sensations the fang texture provides, and he finds that he takes his time more with it than he would with his usual method (his hand.) The Succu Dry feels really tight, which could be either a good or bad thing based on your preferences, and he likes it, but he can only use it for up to about 20 minutes before the tightness is too much and starts to feel chaffing. He also prefers thrusting shallowly with it rather than going in and and out completely because of how tight it is.

Due to its material and tightness, the Succu Dry also requires a lot of lube. Jake’s gone through a bottle of lube already after using it for about a week.¬†Jake has only tried one other Fleshlight (the Vibro Pink Lady with no texture), but he much prefers the Succu Dry since he enjoys the¬†fangs texture. I’d like to have him try an original Fleshlight with texture at some point to see which he prefers.

In general Fleshlights are pretty easy to clean, you just rinse them with warm water, let them dry completely, add renewal powder if you want, and then store them. Since the Succu Dry is very textured and also very tight though, it takes a long time–about 24 hours–to dry completely, so it’s definitely not a toy you can use and stash away quickly. Since the material is porous, Fleshlights shouldn’t be shared. You should only use water based lube with Fleshlights, as silicone or oil could damage the material. If you want more info. on how to use and wash your Succu Dry, Lovehoney has helpful videos up on the product page.

If you’ve always dreamed of getting a blow job from a vampire, you’re in luck, because this Fleshlight will suck you dry. The creepily realistic fangs are just begging for your wooden stake–your Mr. Pointy! The Succu Dry is the perfect eerie and pleasurable sex toy for dark fantasies and vampire play, and it’s also a great masturbator option since the Sex in a Can toys are less expensive than original Fleshlights.

If you want the Succu Dry for Halloween, order it today or tomorrow¬†and it should get there in time! Or order it in the next couple of days and get Express shipping for a little extra and it should be there in time as well. Let’s be honest though–any time is a good time for vampire sex play!

*UK readers, get the Succu Dry here!

Great news, y’all! You can now get 10% off of your Lovehoney purchase when you go to my page!¬†

Thanks for sending me the Succu Dry in exchange for my honest review, Lovehoney! (If you purchase through my links, you’ll be supporting my blog as I make a small commission.)


  1. I may have also chanted, fuck Druscilla! 

Vampire Themed Sex Toys

pennysblog_buffyholywaterlubeDo you have a thing for creatures of the night? There’s just something about their strength, blood lust, and pointy teeth isn’t there? Or maybe you’re a vampire who wants to incorporate slayer-play into your sexual routine? Do you crave¬†the warm touch of a human but you’re too embarrassed to admit it or afraid of rejection? Maybe you’re just lonely? Well you’re in luck!

Recently I saw someone on Twitter looking for a sex toy “stake” for some x-rated Buffy play, and if you know me, then you know I am a huge BTVS/Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood fan, and the topic of Buff/vampire fantasy play and toys¬†has definitely crossed my mind before (pun intended.) I make sure to have my Hitachi out before I watch Smashed, and my favorite threesome fantasy features Angel and Spike (or Eric & Bill!), but I’d also do pretty much any combo of any of the characters on Buffy or Angel (Buffy+Spike, Willow+Tara, Xander+Anya, Cordy+Angel, Willow+Fred, Wesley+Gunn, Willow+Vamp Willow…I think you see where I’m going with this.)

So after some diligent patrolling of the Inter-webs for vampire themed sex toys, I’ve compiled this list for all of the vampire/slayer/Buffy/Sookie/Twilight/Anne Rice peeps out there. This also serves as an ongoing wishlist of mine…someday there will be some epic sex toy photos atop Buffy the board game. Without further ado, here it is:

The Ultimate List of Vampire Themed Sex Toys:

Vamp Penis

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Oh Tantus, as if I didn’t love you enough already, you actually created a dildo that caters to vampire obsessed fans like me. I’m pretty sure the Vamp was created with Twilighters in mind, but Spike is who I’ll picture when this glorious toy is in my vagina. If the Vamp’s shape isn’t exactly what you’re looking for but you still want a vamp¬†cock, any of the realistic Tantus dildos (Adam, Mark, etc.) or Vixen dildos¬†(Buck,¬†Mustang, Maverick, etc.) can pass for vamp (or human.) Also, for all of the Dracula followers out there, Fleshlight makes a Drac¬†dildo that will put you under his thrall.

Vamp Orifices

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If a life-like vamp mouth or vagina is what you seek, Fleshlight has you covered with their Succu Dry, Drac, & Count Cockula masturbators. With these realistic toys, you can have safe vampire sex without the threat of death or unwanted siring. And vamps who crave a warm touch, there are tons of human orifices of all kinds for your enjoyment!

Stake Dildos

intrigue If you’re going to fight vampires, you need a stake, and if you’re going to pull off some really hot X-rated Buffy scenes, you need a stake dildo. If you’re a vampire, these are perfect for acting out dangerous fantasies without the real threat of turning to dust. My top pick is the Intrigue because it looks a lot like Mr. Pointy, but the Delve could definitely pass for your typical straight stake also.

Crucifix Dildos

JesusSteelMed Equal parts funny, offensive, and creepy, the Jackhammer Jesus is definitely a toy Buffy would keep in her weapons chest if the show were XXX. While cross dildos are perfect for slayer fantasies, vamps beware–crosses are only ideal for true masochists and should be used with caution.

Holy Water Lube

HolyWaterFrontMed Another must have in any x-rated weapons chest: Holy water lube. Yep, it’s real peeps! And since it’s not actually blessed, vamps can use it¬†for sexy, pain-free fantasies too! (I’d recommend doing a patch test though, just in case.)

Temperature Play

glasscock Vamps and humans alike can enjoy fantasies of each others’ company by incorporating temperature play into their sex play. Glass & metal are the best materials, but silicone can work as well. Just dip the toy in a bowl full of warm or cold water, and you’re good to go.¬†Warming¬†and¬†cooling¬†lubes can also help you get that cold-as-ice vamp or warm human touch you desire.

Vamp Kink

vampiregloves If you want to play out rough vampire sex fantasies, replicate the thrill of being bitten, held captive, or almost staked etc., you’ll need some kinky toys.¬†Vampire gloves are a natural choice, as are¬†handcuffs and other¬†restraints and impact toys. Remember, if you’re pretending to capture someone as dangerous as say, Angelus, you’ll need something heavy duty!

Vamp Porn

buffy-xxx-dvd Though I haven’t watched any yet (Spuffy scenes are enough to send me off), there is quite a bit of vampire porn out there, such as the¬†Buffy the Vampire Slayer XXX Porn Parody, Buffy the Vampire Layer, This Ain’t Dracula XXX, other¬†Dracula¬†titles, Twilight¬†porn, Tru– An XXX Parody¬†and other general¬†vampire porn. Nothing could ever be hotter than James Marsters though. Nothing.

*Vampire friends & fans, if you have any other ideas, if I missed something, or you just want to share your fave fantasies, please comment!*