2016 was kind of a shit show, and I didn’t try as many new toys as I’d like, but here’s to hoping this year is better–let’s start with a list of the top 7 toys I’m dying to try in 2017!
1. B.J. Dildo–Some of you may know of or remember Mr. Man, a dildo with a hole through the shaft that creates clit suction during a dildo blow job. It’s been discontinued for years now, but I was lucky enough to try Epiphora‘s last year, and it was marvelous. I loved it so much that I had my partner try to recreate it by drilling a hole into one of my less used dildos, but sadly it didn’t pan out. But alas, there’s a new B.J. Dildo now! And it comes in a lovely green! Someone just buy me one and attach it to my clit now, please and thanks.
2. Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable–The fact that I don’t have one of these yet is a travesty. I am one of the BIGGEST Hitachi fans out there, and I think the only reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m kinda old school, and the ancient plug-in Hitachi is still my bae. But I would like to get with the times and be able to share the Hitachi’s glory with others (the rechargeable has a silicone head), or bring it camping (I don’t really camp but if I ever do Hitachi will definitely need to come), and just use the new one’s lower settings (or would I even? who knows.) Plus my Hitachi is getting kind of lonely and could use some company.
3. Hole Punch Rad-ish— I’ve been wanting to try something from Hole Punch for a while now, and I want it to be the rad-ish because I’m vegan af and want to collect all of the veggie sex toys (and because Piph said the Plugs Bunny is too long, and yea, it looks too long.) Is it ridiculous if I say my butt is hungry for the rad-ish?
4. Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble–I honestly don’t know if I could even handle this dildo but damn I want to try, especially after how much Kate and other friends have raved about it. And I need more glass in my collection! And more big toys so I can work my way up and hopefully be able to fit the huge dildo I made last year in my vagina someday.
5. L’Amourose Prism V— I was sent the similar Prism VII last year, and it’s rumbly and gorgeous, but I want the version without the clitoral arm and also want to compare the two. Plus I just want more L’Amourose toys because they’re amazing.
6. Leyland Rainbow Glitter Riding Crop–Ever since I saw Artemisia’s review (and photos, damn just go look now for eyegasms), I’ve wanted this crop. It’s synthetic/vegan friendly and it’s so damn pretty. And I used to have a crop years ago that I loved which got ruined and want to replace it. Plus rainbow sparkles!
7. Split Peaches Unicorn Horn— It’s a rainbow unicorn horn dildo. Need I say more?
Which toys are you dying to try in 2017? Let me know in the comments!