Tag Archives: Ida

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

pennysblog_undermona

LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

pennysblog_buck

Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

pennysblog_rompreview2

NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

plunge_3colors

Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

pennysblog_sexualfantasy

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

pennysblog_tctonerballs

Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

pennysblog_Ida2

LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

pennysblog_LUNASmartBead

LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Lelo Ida

pennysblog_Ida1

Lelo’s description of the Ida, revised by me for accuracy:

Discover a mind-blowing new way to share destroy intimacy with Ida™, the premium couples’ massager worn by women when making love attempting to have sex. Ida™ is the world’s first remote-controlled couples’ massager to combine powerful mediocre vibrations with thrilling rotations incessant poking, offering completely new painful stabbing sensations for both partners. More Less pleasure for him, more pleasure pain for her with unlimited few possibilities for play – your love life will never be the same again! 

Well, at least they got the last part right! When used as intended, the Ida will change your love life, but not the way it claims.

Marketed as a “couples” vibrator, the Lelo Ida is a silicone vibrator that is supposed to be worn during penetration. Its design features a small round disk meant to sit on the clit and vibrate, and an attached 3″ by 1″ shaft that is supposed to vibrate and rotate, except it has no room to rotate when crammed up in a vagina with a penis. That’s probably a good thing though, since Ida already pokes at my insides without any added motion.

The worst experience I had with the Ida was trying to use it in doggy style, when Jake couldn’t even insert himself all of the way, and just trying to sent sharp pain through my vagina.

The best (aka least painful) way we used it as a couples’ toy was in missionary. In this position, at first it isn’t so bad, and at least we can actually insert it, and I’m not screaming in pain. But when we start thrusting faster and harder, Ida’s arm starts to feel really pokey and uncomfortable (for both me and Jake), and before long I want it out. Even after it’s out, my vagina feels raw and used and not in a good way, and Jake is desensitized from Ida’s buzzy vibration.

Basically, the Ida makes it its mission to ruin sex.

After letting Ida chafe and prod our genitals a few times, Jake suggested trying it during anal, and I welcomed the thought of not trying to double stuff my vagina. In theory, wearing Ida vaginally during anal penetration actually seemed like a genius idea, since it could provide hands free vibration and should rotate as intended without the hindrance of a neighboring penis.

Sadly though, the Ida still fell short. Ida’s disk barely reaches my clit, and its vibrations aren’t deep enough to satisfy me during anal. I tried pushing it into my clit, but its circular shape prevents pinpoint stimulation, and it frustrates me, which leads to anal sex becoming uncomfortable because I’m no longer relaxed like I need to be.

pennysblog_Ida2As a couple’s toy, Ida fails in just about every way. As a solo vibrator though, Ida actually provides a unique sensation. The first time I tried it, I kept thinking this kinda feels like a mini DJ roomba on my clit, minus the jams. Ida’s rotation causes the disk portion to move in circles (like a little robot!) which feels pretty rad.

Lelo could be on to something with this design if they made the shaft bigger and made the vibration stronger. But as it is, the internal portion doesn’t really do anything for me because it’s too small and too weak, and I can orgasm clitorally when it’s on the strongest setting while pushing the disk against my clit, but it’s nothing to write home about.

Another thing I do like about the Ida is the SenseMotion technology, which allows you to control the vibration intensity simply by moving the controller rather than searching for buttons to press. When reading the manual it sounds complicated, but it’s easy to use once you figure it out.

I also tried using Ida with my Charmer, since it’s the softest/most flexible dildo I have, and while it didn’t poke me as much as it did with Jake, it didn’t add anything. The vibes are too buzzy, and it feels weird and out of place. I’d much rather use a good regular vibe than a “hands free” vibe that I have to cram in my vagina with a dildo to use.

The Ida can be controlled by two different SenseMotion modes (I like the one where you tilt it to increase the vibrations) or by scrolling through the 6 programmed modes. In any mode you can increase and decrease vibration, but the internal and external portions can’t be controlled separately. Ida is waterproof and since it’s made of silicone, it can be cleaned and sterilized with soap and warm water. Like all Lelo’s, it’s rechargeable and comes with a one year manufacturer’s warranty.

When I first read Epiphora’s review, which starts with, “I think my boyfriend is going to break up with me over the Lelo Ida,” I made a joke in the comments section:

New marketing idea for the Ida: the toy you buy when you want to break up with someone.Tagline: Can we be done yet?

After trying the Ida myself, I now realize that Ida’s ability to ruin sex is no laughing matter. Also, I have a new tagline idea:

Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)

I can’t in good conscience recommend the Ida, unless you just want to collect every toy ever made by Lelo or you’re into vaginal pain. At best, the Ida’s roomba-esque movement feels nice during solo use (but not $200 nice) and at worst, it will stab your insides and probably ruin sex. If you want to try a Lelo vibrator, get a Mona or Mia instead.

P.S. If someone wants to buy me a Mona 2 to make up for the experience of trying this toy, that would be amazing!