I wouldn’t have chosen a crotchless style if given the option–I like cute panties because they’re like wrapping paper for my vulva, something pretty to conceal and tease, so what’s the point of having an open crotch when I could just take them off…or be naked? But all of the Lovehoney panties were crotchless when they first came out, so I figured I’d give them a shot.
The Lovehoney panties are made of black spandex, with an opaque front, lacy butt panel, ruffle detail, and a crotch hole cut out. When I wear them, my vaginal opening and a little bit of my long inner labia is exposed, but the rest of my vulva is covered. This translates to them not being that comfortable to wear while out and about because my labia catches on the hole as I walk.
What these panties are great for though, is teasing and sex. I love the extra-cheekiness of the lace cut out, and my partner loves having my vulva accessible even with the panties on. They normally cover my clit, but Jake was able to gain clit access and give me oral while wearing them by pulling them up a bit.
The first thing I wondered when I got the panties was, can you actually have penetrative sex while wearing them? And the answer for me, is yes, yes you can! They worked for oral, fingering, and we even tried them once for P-I-V sex, and it actually felt really good to be a little constricted by the panties, with subtle pressure on my outer labia. Jake could feel them rubbing a little in certain positions, but not so much that we bothered to take them off. The crotch hole was a little stretched out after but not ruined.
The biggest complaint I have about these panties is the (lack of) sizing options. When they first came out, there were only two options: Small/Medium, which claims to fit dress size 6-8, and Medium/Large, which claims to fit dress size 10-12. I wasn’t sure which I should go with, since I wear medium panties, but I had a feeling they would run small, so I chose M/L.
I was right, they do run small, which isn’t really a surprise considering the S/M fits well on the Lovehoney model, who they say is a size 4 with 35″ hips. So why does it say they’ll fit a size 6-8? They stretch a little, but not that much. Since I received mine, Lovehoney has added another larger size: L/XL. But they run small and still don’t offer anything above “L/XL”, so that means the sizing options here are very limited, and that’s a shame.
Overall, I’ve enjoyed wearing the Lovehoney Crotchless Cutout panties–I just wish they’d add more size options so more people could enjoy them.
This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)
LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.
Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!
Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.
Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.
Best Butt Toy
NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!
Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!
Best BDSM Toy
Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?
Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.
Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.
Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!
LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.
LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.
Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.
Before I start talking specifics, can we take a moment to appreciate that the Fleshlight Succu Dry exists? You can fuck a vampire mouth with fangs. Let that sink in.
Since I don’t have a penis, this review is based on my partner Jake’s experiences with the product. And while I love my vagina, I admit I got a bit of penis envy while watching him thrust between those vamp fangs.1
If you’re not familiar with Fleshlights, they’re masturbator sleeves inside of cases that resemble flashlights. They’re made of Fleshlight’s soft Real Feel Super Skin and are modeled after orifices–vaginas, butts, mouths, etc., and you lube them up and go to town. The Succu Dry is part of the Fleshlight Freaks line, which also includes the Drac (anther vampire), Alien, Cyborg, Zombie, and Frankenstein orifices. Fleshlight, you are winning at life.
In addition to the classic Fleshlight design, they also make a line of masturbators in a smaller beer can design, like the Succu Dry, which are less expensive. The main difference between the Succu Dry and other Sex in a Can Fleshlights vs the originals is size. The canals in the original Fleshlights are 9″ long and have a diameter of .5″, whereas the Sex in a Cans are only 5.5″ long and have a diameter of .25.” If you have a bigger than average penis, you might prefer the original design.
Fleshlights come in all sorts of textures, and the Succu Dry has a unique one called “The Fang” featuring “dozens of tiny fangs that will gently bite at you until you’re drained of every last drop.” Basically, they’re nubbies with a pointed shape, but they’re soft. You can adjust the Succu Dry’s suction by tightening or loosening the bottom of the can.
Overall, Jake has really enjoyed the Succu Dry. He likes the unique sensations the fang texture provides, and he finds that he takes his time more with it than he would with his usual method (his hand.) The Succu Dry feels really tight, which could be either a good or bad thing based on your preferences, and he likes it, but he can only use it for up to about 20 minutes before the tightness is too much and starts to feel chaffing. He also prefers thrusting shallowly with it rather than going in and and out completely because of how tight it is.
Due to its material and tightness, the Succu Dry also requires a lot of lube. Jake’s gone through a bottle of lube already after using it for about a week. Jake has only tried one other Fleshlight (the Vibro Pink Lady with no texture), but he much prefers the Succu Dry since he enjoys the fangs texture. I’d like to have him try an original Fleshlight with texture at some point to see which he prefers.
In general Fleshlights are pretty easy to clean, you just rinse them with warm water, let them dry completely, add renewal powder if you want, and then store them. Since the Succu Dry is very textured and also very tight though, it takes a long time–about 24 hours–to dry completely, so it’s definitely not a toy you can use and stash away quickly. Since the material is porous, Fleshlights shouldn’t be shared. You should only use water based lube with Fleshlights, as silicone or oil could damage the material. If you want more info. on how to use and wash your Succu Dry, Lovehoney has helpful videos up on the product page.
If you’ve always dreamed of getting a blow job from a vampire, you’re in luck, because this Fleshlight will suck you dry. The creepily realistic fangs are just begging for your wooden stake–your Mr. Pointy! The Succu Dry is the perfect eerie and pleasurable sex toy for dark fantasies and vampire play, and it’s also a great masturbator option since the Sex in a Can toys are less expensive than original Fleshlights.
If you want the Succu Dry for Halloween, order it today or tomorrow and it should get there in time! Or order it in the next couple of days and get Express shipping for a little extra and it should be there in time as well. Let’s be honest though–any time is a good time for vampire sex play!
I have a confession, y’all. I’ve been slacking on using kegel balls. It’s part laziness, park forgetfulness, and part me thinking that my vag is probably pretty strong from clenching around sex toys. But kegel health is important! And if there’s one body part I want to be strong, it’s my PC muscles. I need to be able to crush skulls with my vaginal canal…and squeeze around dildos harder, of course.
So I mostly wanted to try out the Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Set to remind myself to do more kegels, and it worked!
The Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Set comes with a single kegel ball and double kegel balls that are made of body safe silicone and hard plastic, and they feature balls with weights inside that move around and a stretchy silicone retrieval cord. The single ball is a little over 2″ long and 1.5″ wide, and the double set is about 4.5″ long and 1.5″ wide. While you can’t switch out weights like you can with the Luna Beads, you can start with the single ball (39g) and move up to the heavier double balls (78g) when you feel ready. (Comparatively, Luna Beads weigh between 28-74g.) I started with the double balls and had no problem holding them in.
When I wear the Toner Balls, they feel similar to the Luna Beads. They’re not quite as jiggly, but I can feel the balls’ subtle movement as I walk and move around. They’re fairly big for kegel balls, so I can always feel them, and they remind me to squeeze and exercise my PC muscles. They’re also really comfortable, and I’ve worn them for hours while out and about without any problems. The double balls are heavier and more stimulating, but I can feel the single ball by itself as well.
Although the fact that you can’t switch out the balls means they aren’t quite as versatile as the Luna Beads, I like that the Toner Balls aren’t in a holster. I use the blue beads on my Luna Beads anyways, so the holster is somewhat superfluous, and vag gunk loves to congregate around where the holster meets the balls.
I also like that the retrieval cord is made of soft flexible silicone because it’s easy to tuck out of the way, and it doesn’t poke at my vulva. I’ve heard of a few people who have issues with the stiffer Luna Beads cord irritating their urethra, so a soft silicone cord should eliminate that problem. The cord is odd when I’m naked though–it feels like I have an antenna coming out of my vag. I’ve heard that the cord’s stretchiness can be an issue, but I haven’t had any problems with it. I just do a sort of gentle tug, tug to get them out, so I don’t stretch the cord too much.
Toner Balls vs. Luna Beads Original & Noir
The only issue I have with the Toner Balls is the hard plastic circles on the balls. They don’t seem to serve any purpose, and although I haven’t noticed any vag gunk collecting there, there are tiny ridges that could potentially hold bacteria etc. I also wish they came in other color options besides Generic Sex Toy Pink.
Although they aren’t really orgasmic toys, kegel balls are awesome because your muscles have to work to hold them in as you move and walk around, so if you wear them while you’re active, you’re getting a workout without any actual effort. It’s kind of like sitting and watching a workout video in your sweats with a glass of wine…except it actually works!
Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for $26.99 for just the double beads or $35 for the whole set, they’re a great deal. If you don’t care about switching out weights and feel ready for heavy balls, I’d go with just the Toner Balls. If you want to work your way up to more weight, I’d get the the Toner Balls Set since they have more of a weight range. You could also get the single ball for $16.99 by itself, but I’d recommend getting the set because you’ll probably want to move up weights after a while. If you want a more gradual weight progression set, get the Luna Beads. If the Toner Balls look too big for you, the Luna Beads Mini/Noir are also good options, though I prefer bigger balls so I can feel them when I wear them.
*UK readers: the Toner Balls are available here & the Set here!
I thought I’d have no problem getting the Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug in–with 3 insertable inches, it’s shorter than other things I’ve put in my butt, and although its 5.75″ circumference is a step up from the 5.25″ of the Ryder1, an extra half an inch didn’t seem like a huge deal. Boy was I wrong.
The Sensual Glass Plug is easy enough to insert at first, with a smooth, tapered tip…until I get to the widest part. Since the plug doesn’t taper back down like a lot of others do, my butt won’t suck it in, and it just floats there like a buoy. If Jake is around, I ask “IS IT IN?” and he says “yea…pretty much!” encouragingly. Except pretty much means it isn’t actually in, and it bobs right back out with a simple squeeze of my PC muscles or a shift to grab more lube.
Every time I tried to push the plug in past that point, the glass jabbed at my ass painfully. Still, I persevered.
I had faith in the power of my butt.
Ryder, Romp, Sensual Glass Plug, Atomic Rose Plug, Bootie
I tried warming up with smaller plugs. I tried Sassy2. I tried silicone. I tried mixing Sassy and silicone. I breathed deeply. I was one with my hole. I pampered my clit as I whispered sweet nothings to my butt. I tried warming up with cunnilingus and g-spot stimulation, and yet, I still couldn’t get it in.
I was about ready to give up and accept my butt hole failure, when I decided to try one last time. And when I used Bootie, Romp, baby Jesus, and Ryder, and it still wouldn’t go in, I got the idea of trying something else glass in my butt to get it used to the hardness. I grabbed my Icicles No. 21, put a condom over it, and used it to thrust gently until I felt Ready For The Plug.
And then something miraculous happened…I did it! The pride I felt in my butt was overwhelming. This must be what motherhood feels like, I thought. I immediately texted at least 3 friends: IT’S IN!!!
I finally warmed up my butt enough that the widest point didn’t hurt, and my butt sucked up that plug like a glass of sweet lemonade. And once it was in, it stayed in securely and felt delicious upon removal, especially since I synchronized it with an Eros orgasm.
Still, I can’t wear the Sensual Glass Plug around like I would others since I’m afraid it will hurt to take out if I leave it in too long. I also can’t use it during partner sex or with dildos because its hard glass fills me up, and I can barely get a finger in my vag when it’s in much less a penis.
And since anal thrusting actually warms me up for the plug and not vice versa, I probably won’t use it much unless I decide I want to move on to conquering even larger butt toys. Who knows, maybe someday this plug will seem like a tiny bloop on my ass’s radar. But until then, it has limited use for me.
All the toys it took to get it in
The moral of the story here is that the Sensual Glass Plug is definitely not a beginner’s plug…and I’d hesitate to even call it an Intermediate plug. It doesn’t look that big, but because of its hardness and shape, it can be quite difficult to insert and can potentially cause a lot of pain.
But if you’re an Intermediate/Advanced anal player, the Lovehoney Sensual Glass plug is a great deal at only $30 for a high quality Pyrex plug, and since its base portion has some girth, it can be used to warm up the sphincter for larger toys. Since it’s glass it’s non-porous and hygienic, and you can use any type of lube with it. It also comes with a purple velvet drawstring storage bag.
Just beware– if your butt isn’t ready, the Sensual Glass Plug will quite literally be a pain in your ass.
Due to a mix-up, I ended up with an extra Bettie Page Collar Me Set from Lovehoney, which works out for you lovely readers because now I’m giving one away!
The giveaway is open world-wide, but since I’m responsible for shipping, I’ll need you to pitch in for International shipping (via Paypal) if you win & reside outside of the US. You must be 18 or of legal age to buy sex toys in your country. (I will cover shipping within the US.)
Bettie Page goodies…will I ever have enough? The latest item I’ve added to my collection is the Bettie Page Collar Me set.
Like the Spanking Bat & Cuffs, the Bettie Page Bondage Collar & Leash set is part of a collection of chic kink products made by Lovehoney for fans of Bettie Page and retro style. The Collar Me set features a collar & leash made of black faux leather with a 27″ connector chain. Similar to Bettie Cuffs, the collar closes with a buckle and is adjustable (13-17″ with 7 holes,) with an easy release clip that connects the leash to an O-ring on the collar. As with the other Bettie items, the Collar Me set comes with a bonus collector playing card & keychain.
One thing I noticed when inspecting the collar is that collar’s faux leather doesn’t quite match the leash part/cuffs/spanking bat (it’s slightly less textured.) When I brought it up to Lovehoney they pointed out that with all materials there’s a possibility of variations between cuts and that makes the items more unique. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s worth mentioning.
In use, the collar is light and comfortable with soft velvet lining, and I can wear it for long periods of time and forget it’s there. It’s also fairly easy to put on by myself (the hardest part is threading the extra material through the loop.) It’s my first collar and leash set, so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but it’s comfortable, sexy, and easy to use.
I do have one issue with my collar that I can’t get quite get over though–it has a permanent crease from being folded to fit it in its box (as you can see in the photos.) At first I figured it wasn’t a big deal, and I thought it would go away after wearing it for a while, but it didn’t. I tried stacking books on top of it and leaving it like that overnight, but the crease is still there. It may not seem like a big deal, but a weird crease takes away from the polished look of the product (which isn’t cheap at $75.) It’s also not easy to store the collar in the box without folding it & further creasing it.
Like the Bettie Cuffs, the Bettie Collar is light, comfortable, and thin as compared to other standard bdsm items, so it’s ideal for those who seek restraints that are stylish but not heavy duty or intense looking. If it weren’t for the crease, it’d get my endorsement for those looking for a comfortable, lightweight, & sexy collar and leash set, so I’m hoping Lovehoney will consider updating its packaging somehow to prevent that in the future. In the meantime, I definitely recommend the Spanking Bat, which is absolutely gorgeous & my favorite item from the line so far.