Tag Archives: masturbation

Sweet Release


Self portrait, in-camera double exposure

Day 28 of #FebPhotoFest

 Ah, today is the last day of FebPhotoFest! In case you missed some of the action, here’s a summary:  I posted 28 images which included 15 self portraits, 7 sex toy photos, and miscellaneous things like books and flowers that look like vulvas. All of the images were shot specifically for FebPhotoFest, with the exception of 3 throwback images (Masked, More Oral, & Lifelike.)

What’d you think? Which were your favorite images?



TMI Tuesday- Navigating Sex

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss

First of all, I’m not sure what I should consider my first kiss. Was it the one on the cheek in 4th grade with my “boyfriend” who I shared with my two girlfriends? Or the first one with tongue when I was 14 with a guy I didn’t care about who tasted like old mints? Nah, I don’t regret either one.

I Miss My First Love

Sometimes I wonder how he is doing, but I don’t miss him in an “I want to see him” kind of way.

I Married My First Love


I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me

Truthfully, I’m not sure. There have been times when I thought I loved someone, but looking back I’m not sure I would still call it love.

2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?

This may sounds cliché, but I don’t like labels. Jake and I aren’t “monogamous” in the normal sense because we are open to having sexual experiences together with other partners, but we aren’t polyamorous either. We’re just….us. And before Jake, I had monogamous partners as well as one dysfunctional open relationship.

3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

None of the above. I can get in the mood even when I’m tired, but sometimes I just don’t want to have sex, and Jake respects that as well.

4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?

If I’m masturbating in bed, and he’s around, we usually start to play or do some sort of mutual masturbation. So no, he doesn’t mind.

5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner

Again, none of the above. I am playful, but I don’t consider myself tame. We try outfits and toys together sometimes, but they usually get tossed away pretty quickly. We do love trying new things, but neither of us really “shocks” each other; we’re both pretty open minded. Our typical sexual romp is…passionate, messy, and satisfying.

Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.

I can’t pick just one time…almost every time I orgasm I think it was the best orgasm ever because it’s the most recent one in my mind.



TMI Tuesday: Masturbation Month 2013


1. My favorite place to masturbate is ________ ?

Either in bed or on the futon. I like to be comfortable. 🙂

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?

I actually don’t think I’ve ever masturbated in public, although I have had sex in public.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?

Yes definitely. I like doing it with Jake because the intimacy of watching how he touches himself turns me on, and it’s fun to tease each other and mix things up. I’ve even written a short erotic story about it…

4. When was the last time you masturbated?

Last night before going to sleep. Also, I’ve been touching myself a little while writing this. My clit has a mind of its own what can I say…

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?

I’ve taken a few photos of myself while masturbating.

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?

Yes, especially if it’s to me. I also like watching people have sex…and porn…

Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?

I’ve made some sexy home videos with Jake that included me touching myself, but no, I’m not sharing them here…although who knows maybe I will at some point.

TMI Tuesday blog

Things I Masturbate To

This poem was inspired by Harmony Eichsteadt’s poem “Things I Have Masturbated To” from the Bedpost Confessions Postcast 9, as well as Harper Elliot, a sex writer who wrote a similar poem. Here is my version.

Things I Masturbate To

Of course there’s the obvious.

My boyfriend’s long curly hair tickling

my thighs as his mouth worships my every

fold, and his thick fingers pulling me to life

from inside out, and then his hard, tall

cock filling me up until I’m overflowing,

until I’m empty of all the come

and sweat and breath I possess.


And there are others, those who don’t

realize they exist naked in my head, like

the girl at the dentist’s who cleaned my teeth,

her thick lips hovering above mine like a spaceship,

ready to suck me up, or my friend’s shy roommate,

an old co-worker, a vanilla girlfriend, my Spanish professor,

and the guy who works at 7-Eleven.


Often, it’s more abstract, a group of people

whose faces I can’t see, a thousand hands on

my every exposed inch, a crowd cheering,

another couple watching, or even just a hot

mouth stuck on me, requiring only

my come to survive.


Sometimes it’s light hearted, wandering

fingers while the TV laughs with me, or my

cat eyeing me curiously on the couch, as I pant

and heave and moan my way

across the finish line.


Fiction occasionally joins me as well,

my favorite characters coming to life, dicks

and limbs rising like the dead from my

twisted head, sometimes cold fingers

and fangs or a vicious killer at my neck, my current

favorites are Tate and Dexter, even better

fucking me together.


And then there are the stranger ones, alien

tentacles probing and sucking, beastly

creatures with multiple members, headless

figures, and cold lifeless bodies, the burning

grip of the devil incarnate, and ghosts or

demons, but usually not zombies.


The hardest to admit, are the ones who could care

less about my consent, dark shadowy figures that

push me down and tie me up. They strike

me and shame me, but I always enjoy it.

These have been with me as long as I can remember,

even as a young girl, pretending to be kidnapped, arms

pulled back at mattress edges, eyes wide and lips

pressed, warmth growing between my little

legs as I am alone with the part of me

that always hides.


And sometimes, as someone who reviews

sex toys, it’s just something on my To-do list.

I’m a pioneer for research, thinking rather

un-sexy, almost clinical things like,

how sticky is this lube, and what is that light taste,

citrus? Or I really wish this had a longer

handle, or a wider girth or more texture, or

ow! oh god this thing is murdering my clit,

or I’m fucking glad this toy is waterproof

because I’m about to squirt

all over it.


Other times, it’s not really sexual at all, I’m

a blank sheet of paper, my mind

folds into itself, there are no thoughts and no

fantasies, no expectations or how do I look in this position,

or requirements or to-do lists or cleaning

the kitty litter or work or stress, only


the steady whiz of my Hitachi, or the quiet

circling of my fingers, only my breath whispering

to itself, my lips and clit blossoming, and the

quickening pace of my blood is enough,

the soft, warm, blanketing feeling,

the simple comfort of balance and equilibrium,

and remembering that my body is not a

separate entity, of holding on and then

most importantly,

of learning to let go again.


TMI Tuesday: Fantasy Anyone?

Spoiler Alert: If you watch American Horror Story or Dexter and haven’t seen episodes from the latest seasons, you may want to skip this post or at least question #3.

1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?

I’m sure it could, if someone involved isn’t comfortable with the fantasy or how it’s played out, but I think that can be avoided with open and honest communication before, during, and after acting out the fantasy. For me, fantasies are a fun and important way to keep things sexy and exciting.

2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?

Sure, why not? It all depends on how the people involved feel about it. I can see why some people would rather stick to role play and why others would rather have the real thing, and personally I’m open to both.

3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasize about?

Lately I’ve been fantasizing a lot about dark characters, specifically Kit/Tate from American Horror Story and Dexter Morgan. The Kit and Grace sex scene in Asylum drove me absolutely crazy.  I love the idea of lusting after someone dark, and the danger involved in not knowing if they are a brutal killer or not. I also love scenes in movies/TV shows when the lovers accept each other no matter what their partner has done, and when Grace says, “I don’t care what you are,” right before they fuck…so hot! In Dexter’s case, when Hannah has sex with him right after he was going to kill her? Again, fucking hot! Tate’s character and appeal is more complicated, but I think it boils down to the fact that I think the idea of someone who is so evil yet still capable of love is a turn on as well. Oh yea, and Evan Peters completely covered in latex? That may have something to do with it…

4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse, are there some things that are ‘off limits’ for a fantasy e.g. incest fantasies, age play, rape fantasies. Why/ why not?

No, not really. I think it’s fine to fantasize about whatever you want, especially because you can’t really control your thoughts/fantasies. You can control actions though, and I certainly have limits as far as what I’ll actually do.

5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasized about doing?

Rape fantasies are probably some of the most taboo ones that I have. Also, fucking serial killers/dangerous men/dead people(as in ghosts, not corpses)/aliens/ beasts/the “devil,” to name a few…

6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don’t ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do you think you will never act it out?

I can’t think of a fantasy I have that I wouldn’t even think of acting out at the moment.

7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?

Not that I can recall.

8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?

I’ve had some situations when I’ve tried to act out a fantasy, and it didn’t happen exactly how I wanted, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying anything has failed miserably.

Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.

Honestly I have a lot of different fantasies, and I’m not sure which is my most cherished. I definitely have more fantasies that I haven’t lived out yet than ones that I have, but that’s mostly because I’m constantly coming up with new ones…


Yesterday, someone found my blog by searching for the term “does Hitachi ruin sex life?” I got these kinds of “how will sex toys affect my sex life” questions and comments frequently when I worked at the sex shop, from straight up ones like “will this vibrator make me go numb eventually?” to the more subtle “I want something small so I don’t scare him” to the snide boyfriend’s “that better not replace me” remark. My least favorite ones were the curious but nervous friends that would say judgmental things like “I don’t need one, I have a boyfriend” while their friends purchased a new vibrator.

Everyone’s sexual preferences are different, and there is no “correct” way to get off. Although I can get off (clitorally) without toys, I love the quick, powerful orgasms my Hitachi gives me. And I can’t have a gushing g-spot orgasm without a good toy or someone else’s help (hand cramp anyone?) But who cares? I certainly don’t, and I’m thankful for my boyfriend’s thick fingers and hard toys with specially designed curved tips. There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing a sex toy. And as far as replacing my partner? Can a vibrator pull my hair, pinch my nipples, or spank my ass? How about listen to my breathing and moans and respond accordingly? No.

My point is, there’s nothing wrong with using sex toys or whatever sexual exploration you choose. If you can’t get off without a vibrator, so what? If you can give yourself a screaming orgasm with only your hand, or with your mind, or with multiple partners, or by staring at photos of feet while you tickle your asshole, good for you. I won’t judge your sex life, as long as it’s safe and consensual.  Like I said before, there’s no wrong way to get off, unless you have a problem with it. And if you truly find yourself feeling a harmful “addiction” to vibration or less sensitive, all you have to do is stop using vibration for awhile or even switch to a lower setting, and you’ll soon regain your sensitivity (Getting Off.) This has never happened to me though, and I’ve been using jack-hammer powered plug in vibrators for 9 years now…

and guess what? I’m proud to be a Hitachi “addict.”

Sinful Sunday


Waxman, Jamye. “The Buzz:Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Vibrators.”Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation. Emeryville, CA: Seal, 2007. 81. Print.

Celebrating Self Love

If you haven’t already heard, last week was the last ever Wanton Wednesday. Luckily, fellow sex blogger Rebel decided to continue the Hump Day tradition with a new meme, “Wicked Wednesday” that will have optional weekly prompts. This week’s theme was “celebrate,” and I decided to celebrate self love and masturbation.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

-Oscar Wilde

I want some new sexy pictures of myself, and since Jake isn’t home, I’ll take self portraits. I get out my remote and set up my camera on my bed, leaning against the cool purple wall as I reach into my panties, feeling the little bush that’s been growing between my legs. With one hand, I press the remote and then quickly hide it from view in the photos. First, I take some with my blue leopard panties on, but they soon slide to the floor as I decide the smooth skin on my bare hips looks better without them. I feel the edges of my thigh high socks, thinking about how much Jake would love to see me in them if he was home. I play with positions, on my tip toes with my ass up in the air, spreading my legs and then closing them, feeling up and down my curves. I take a break to look through the images, and I like what I see: curvy hips that blossom from a small waist, a pretty pink cunt with full lips, and perky round breasts.

I drag my full length mirror in front of me, leaning back against the wall again. I like to touch myself like this, as if I’m putting on a show. Forgetting about pictures, my fingers grope below my bush, feeling my soft, plump lips. I lick a finger, and circle it around my clit. I pinch my right nipple with my free hand, and watch my breast bounce a little as I release it. I continue for awhile, staring at myself in the mirror, seducing myself. My fingers reach in, capturing my wetness and spreading it around my lips and my clit, and I thrust my hips slowly into my hand. I close my eyes. I imagine Jake coming home early, walking in on me, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me around, back to him. I turn, pressing my nipples against the wall, imagining him caressing my ass, and then spanking it. I see his strong hands pull down his pants and briefs, and his cock bouncing up as it is released. I move my fingers and hips harder and faster, and just as I can almost feel him pushing into me, sliding into my wet cunt, I come, breathing heavy against the wall.


Wicked Wednesday
*Click on the image to see the black and white version; please let me know which one you prefer!

Chloe Sevigny: My Celeb Fantasy

I love Chloe Sevigny because even though she’s a rich actress and fashion icon, she still seems real.

Sevigny’s career in fashion began in 1993 when she was literally discovered off of the street in NYC by a fashion editor from Sassy magazine who liked her hat and asked her to intern and later model for the magazine. Her acting career started in a similar manner, when she met and befriended Harmony Korine in Washington Square Park, who ended up casting her as lead in the independent and disturbing movie Kids. Since then, Sevigny has given amazing performances in many challenging and unconventional roles, including the extremely controversial The Brown Bunny, which has a scene of Sevigny giving Vincent Gallo a blowjob.
So I’ll go ahead and confess right now, as soon as I heard that there was a real sex scene out there starring Chloe, I definitely didn’t watch the whole movie but instead skipped to the “I loved kissing you” scene and masturbated while watching their few moments of passion. I know I’m not the only one, considering that the scene is up on You Porn and probably a bunch of other similar sites.

Not surprisingly, the movie received extremely harsh criticism for the scene from all ends, although a few people did support her choice. I like this quote from Manohla Dargis of The New York Times, “Actresses have been asked and even bullied into performing similar acts for filmmakers since the movies began, usually behind closed doors. Ms. Sevigny isn’t hiding behind anyone’s desk. She says her lines with feeling and puts her iconoclasm right out there where everyone can see it; she may be nuts, but she’s also unforgettable.” Although I didn’t care for the movie because it was extremely slow and hard to watch, I support Sevigny’s choice to perform in it. Although some thought the movie would destroy her career, her success has continued, and she did an excellent job portraying the complicated character Nicolette Grant in one of my favorite HBO shows, Big Love.

I can’t help but love Chloe Sevigny and star her in my hottest girl fantasies. She’s sexy, talented, honest, quirky, and most importantly, imperfect. Who wants a perfect, wholesome, publicity/agent controlled celeb fantasy, when you can have one who admits to trying drugs and bisexuality, stars in weird roles, and has a notorious fellatio scene?