Tag Archives: Paddles

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Tantus Plunge

pennysblog_plunge1Tantus gives me hope for the future.

What are they going to come up with next? Can we just attach dildos to everything?

Imagine phallic door handles, dong desk chairs, and water-bottle-dildos for immediate re-hydration. Don’t you want to live in a world with Hitachi powered electric toothbrush dildos and robo-dildos that fly around like the cars in Back to the Future?

Ok, maybe Hitachi toothbrush dildos would be overkill (and unsanitary.) Regardless, Tantus’ new silicone paddle with a dildo-handle, the Plunge, is a pretty cool idea. And while there are a few other dildo-handled paddles out there, the Plunge is the only one I know of that’s high quality and body safe.

Made of firm black matte silicone, the Plunge looks like it’s a love child from a steamy affair between the Twack & the Sport. The paddle portion is ~7×3″ and is very flexible, while the dildo handle is much firmer and has an insertable length of a little over 5″ with a 1.25″ max girth. The dildo has a curved, bulbous head for g-spot or prostate play.

So, the idea of a dildo-handled paddle may sound like an awesome idea, you probably want to know how well does it actually work?

pennysblog_plunge2The paddle part is without a doubt a success, though it won’t work for everyone because it really hurts. It’s definitely not a beginner paddle, and even a light slap stings. If you’re looking for a paddle for intense spanking that leaves redness and marks oh-so-quickly with minimal force, then you’ll love the Plunge. If you want something for light impact play or have a low pain tolerance however, the Plunge will leave you in tears, and not the good kind. I don’t like a ton of pain, especially of the stingy-variety, so Jake knows not to hit me very hard with this paddle.

As for the other end, the dildo shape makes for a very ergonomic handle that’s comfortable to grip. As an actual dildo though, I’m not a big fan. The bulbous head does stimulate my g-spot, but it doesn’t have enough girth to get me off with squeezing & light thrusting alone, and I get crazy hand cramps trying to thrust while holding the floppy, hard to hold paddle portion.

Other than the awkwardness of gripping the paddle part to thrust, there are a few others small issues with the plunge. One is that the dildo part has a tiny hole through its head (for display purposes,) so it takes longer than usual to clean. Though neither bothered me in use, the hole as well as a seam that runs the length of the paddle/dildo could irritate people who are sensitive. It’s also harder to hold onto the dildo handle after insertion when it’s lubey and sticky, but that’s probably unavoidable since it’s a dildo handle. 

pennysblog_plunge3If you’re looking for a quality paddle with an insertable handle, you should definitely get the Plunge. Even though the dildo part doesn’t wow me for solo use, it’s still fun to use for mixing spanking with foreplay, and after all, that’s what it was made for! And unless the idea of a dildo paddle turns you off, why not have one just in case. It’s only a few $ more than the other Tantus paddles, and I’ve heard from other bloggers that the dildo handle is easier to wield than the others anyways.

Since the Plunge has a hole in the dildo part, it should be boiled before sharing with multiple partners and between vaginal/anal uses, unless you use a condom over it. I also recommend washing it immediately after use to prevent lube etc. getting crusted in the hole. To clean the hole, use a q-tip & soap/warm water or a 10% bleach solution. Something else to note: my Plunge gets streak/drip marks when drying, and after talking to Jenna from Tantus I’ve discovered it’s because we have really hard water here that affects the matte silicone.

In addition to dildo handled paddles, Tantus is already well on the way to making a dreamy dildo-future come true with their silicone suction cup dildos. To build your own suction cup dildo, grab a suction cup and your choice of Tantus vibe and voilà! And this month all vibes are 25% off & come with a FREE suction cup automatically (you don’t have to add it to your cart) with code YESPLEASE!

Thanks, Tantus!

 

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Review: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat

pennysblog_bettiebatI’m a sucker for Bettie Page stuff, so I was super excited when Lovehoney sent me the Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat to review. The Spanking Bat, which is an oval shaped, two sided paddle with a broad surface area (7” long & 5” wide) and an ergonomic 4” handle, is absolutely stunning. The paddle comes in a fancy box printed with Bettie playing card images along with a Bettie collector card and keychain.

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One side of the paddle is made of black quilted faux leather and has a luxurious vintage feel, and the other side is firmer and features a black and white photo of Bettie showing off her back-seamed fishnets and sequined panties. Even the wrist strap has Bettie Page printed in silver cursive. The paddle is so lovely, I almost wanted to just use it as décor…but of course I had to try it out.

The paddle’s quilted side delivers a soft, gentle feel on impact. Even when Jake spanks me hard with it, it doesn’t hurt. It’s perfect for warm up and sensitizing, and I enjoy its light thuddy feel and the loud noise it makes.

In contrast, the paddle’s stiffer picture side can deliver a bit of sting and color. Still, it doesn’t hurt very much—not nearly as much as say, the Plunge (review upcoming), or leave lasting marks, so it isn’t ideal for heavy impact play.

For me though, the Bettie paddle feels amazing on both sides, and I love the tease of not knowing which will come next. The only downside to the paddle is that it’s so pretty that I’m afraid to get it wet or dirty, which can obviously be a problem when mixing spanking and sex. So far I’ve tried to keep the paddle as clean as possible.

If you’re a fan of Bettie Page and spanking, then this is definitely a must have paddle. It’s perfect for light to moderate impact play, and it’s so gorgeous I’d hang it up on my wall if I wasn’t too busy using it. The Bettie keychain and collector card are a fun bonus—even the packaging, which I usually could care less about, is lovely.

The Picture This Spanking Bat is just one of the many toys in Lovehoney’s Bettie Page line; they also carry a thinner paddle with a different image of Bettie, cuffs, and more. Thanks so much Loevehoney for sending me this awesome paddle in exchange for my honest review!

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Review: Lovehoney Tease Me Paddle

*Update: Now that I’m vegan, I no longer own/endorse this product. Check out the Bettie Page Spanking Bat or Tantus Plunge instead.

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The Lovehoney Tease Me Paddle* is a lightweight, easy to use satin and leather paddle for spanking and impact play. The paddle is a foot long with a 6” rectangular spanking portion and a leather wrist/storage strap.

The purple satin side of the paddle is soft and has some sort of padding underneath it, and it works well for stroking and sensitizing the area to be spanked, and when used for impact, it provides a mild thuddy feel and doesn’t leave marks. If you’re new to impact play or don’t like pain, this side is most likely ideal for you.

While the satin side is perfect for light sensation play, don’t let it fool you into thinking this paddle is only for soft-core spankings. If you prefer a harsher, stinging feel, all you have to do is flip it over to find the paddle’s more sadistic side. I was surprised by how much it hurt, considering it looks like a pretty tame beginner paddle, and had to have Jake hit lightly with it at first. Unlike the satin side, the leather side can leave redness, though in my experience it doesn’t last long.

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My favorite ways to use this paddle are for over the lap spankings or breast impact play, and I enjoy the contrast of feeling alternating mild thuds from the satin side and the stinging from the leather side. For the spanker, the paddle is lightweight, springy, and easy to hold.

Though the paddle is versatile and easy to use, it does have a few issues. It began unraveling around the seam after only one use, not to the point that it seems like it will come apart, but it’s noticeable. Also,the satin and leather sides don’t match up perfectly, and the satin side stains easily with lube or bodily fluids, and it can’t be sterilized.  The only way I know of to clean it is to wipe it down with a damp cloth.

If you want a versatile, easy to use paddle for light thuddy or stinging spanking play, (or both) then I recommend trying the Tease Me Paddle. Since I only have one other paddle, I don’t have much to compare it to, but I’ve enjoyed using it and like it more than my other (which is very mild.)

If you’re looking for a stronger thud, a paddle that will last a lifetime, something for heavy impact play, or a toy you can sterilize, then this probably isn’t the paddle for you, and I suggest checking out some other options. The next paddles I want to try out soon are the new Tantus silicone paddles, which I’ve heard a lot of good things about and can be completely sterilized. (Update: I got one!)

*UK Readers: Find the Tease Me Paddle here.

Thanks Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review!

Review: WhipSmart Heart Paddle

*Update: Now that I’m vegan, I no longer own/endorse this product. Check out the Bettie Page Spanking Bat or Tantus Plunge instead.

I want to start by admitting that I don’t know a lot about BDSM and fetish toys, and although I had a paddle a few years ago (it got thrown away at some point), this is the first one I’ve had since then. I definitely classify myself as a beginner to restraints and power play toys. Regardless, I like a good spanking either before or during sex, and I was excited when I got a free WhipSmart Heart Paddle earlier this week, and I decided to try it out with Jake last night.

Jake was lying on his stomach on our bed, and I quietly snatched the paddle from the kitchen, ran into our room, pulled his pants under his butt, and began stroking it with the faux fur side of the paddle. After the light caresses, I quickly flipped the paddle over and gave him a playful thwack on each cheek. Jake isn’t really into being spanked, or at least it doesn’t turn him on like it turns me on, so my spanking him was more of a “hey, why don’t you do this to me now” gesture than a real spanking attempt. He took the hint, and after a few fur tease strokes and spanks, he had me get on all fours and stick my butt up in the air. He traced the curves of my butt and thighs with the soft side of the paddle, and then delivered a firm spanking to each cheek with the leather side, which stung a little but felt good and turned me on. He kept up the process for awhile, soft fur then firm leather spanks, and added his fingers to my clit, until I was juicy and my butt had enough hits. I won’t continue with all the details, but the paddle was definitely a success.

The Heart Paddle is 11.5” long and 5” inches wide, light and easy to hold, and made of white leather and red faux fur. One downside I noticed is that the faux fur is glued to the paddle, so I’m not sure how long it will hold together. During our first time using the paddle, it didn’t get dirty or require cleaning, and I hope to avoid getting any bodily fluids or lube on it if possible. I asked my friend who is a female dominant how you would clean it if necessary, and she said to use cold water and a mild bar soap (like Dove), hang to air dry, and oil the leather side (or use a tiny bit of silicone lube.)

I definitely had fun with this paddle and will keep it on my nightstand for whenever I want a good spanking because it’s light, pretty, and versatile. The two sides of the paddle complement each other well because the soft fur sensitizes the skin and the leather delivers firm hits. In addition to using it for my spankings, I also ran the soft fur side on my breasts during oral because it felt lovely against my skin. I would recommend this paddle or a similar paddle with both a hard and soft side for spanking beginners like me.