Tag Archives: Princessa

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Vibratex Princessa

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Update 2017: The crappy Princessa is no longer available–hooray for clits everywhere! If you’re looking for a good small vibrator, check out the Tango/Touch instead or browse my other vibrator reviews.

The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which is of course why I wanted to try it.

One of Vibratex’s new line of petite, rechargable travel vibes (along with the more traditionally shaped Amie and Bestie,) the Princessa is made of silicone and ABS plastic. It’s smaller than I thought it would be (3.3″ long and about 1.5″ wide), and its vibration is concentrated in the “nipple” part, which is firm but has some give to it. The petals/ticklers/feelers/whatever-you-want-to-call-them are very flexible and only transfer a small amount of vibration. The power is controlled with a flower shaped push button and has a cycle through design (low, medium, high, pulse, increasing pulse, helicopter (more on that later), and off.)

The Princessa is one of those toys that I wouldn’t have bought or requested to review if I had felt it first. Its vibrations are very surface level and buzzy (I think it’s actually the buzziest vibe I have), and I was doubtful that it would be able to get me off after feeling it. It also has almost no range; the 2nd speed is slightly stronger than the 1st, but there’s almost no discernible difference between the 2nd and 3rd.

The Princessa is also kind of like a small dog that’s overcompensating by barking non-stop–it’s obnoxiously loud for such a petite, weak vibe. When it’s set to steady vibration, it sounds like there are bees buzzing around my clit, and on its last setting, like a helicopter is about to land between my labia. So there’s that.

pennysblog_princessa2Despite its weak vibrations and annoying buzz though, the Prinessa can still get me off, most of the time. Something about the pinpoint stimulation from the hard nipple part on my clit combined with the feelers tickling my labia works for me, though I think I get off more from rubbing action than the actual vibration. I really wish the Princessa had power akin to that of its cousin vibe, the Mystic Wand, or even better, the rumbly goodness of the Tango.

I was reminded the other day that vibration power is very relative during an impromptu show & tell of my toys with two friends, when one was impressed by the Princessa’s vibes (and scared to death of the Doxy’s.) So if you are very sensitive and prefer a light tickle vibration, the Princessa might work for you. For most people though, the Princessa’s light, buzzy vibrations won’t cut it.

The Princessa comes with a pink pleather zipper storage bag, a charger dock, a USB wall converter (which is nice because many vibes don’t), and a 1 year manufacturer’s warranty. You can charge the Princessa with or without the port, and the light turns green when it’s at full charge. It’s showerproof/splashproof but not submergible; I haven’t used it in shower but have cleaned it without any problems.

Since it’s silicone it can be washed with soap and hot water or a 10% bleach solution, and I’d recommend using an old toothbrush to get in around the bottom of the feelers. Normally I’d say the Princessa is ideal for travel since it’s small, but the noise factor might be an issue.

Although I can get off with the Princessa, its weak vibration and unwelcome soundtrack annoys me. Unless you like buzzy vibrations or absolutely must own an alien nipple flower vibe, I don’t recommend it. If you’re looking for a small travel vibe, try the Mia for more of a range or the Tango for sheer power instead.

Thanks SheVibe!