Tag Archives: thank goddess I have a clitoris

Review: We-Vibe Tango & Touch

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Let’s cut to the chase: vibrators like the We-Vibe Tango and Touch make me thank goddess I have a clitoris.

If you’ve ever visited one of the big sex toy mega-stores, you know there is no shortage of vibrator options. The problem is that a lot of them are crap. Many are made of unsafe materials, and even the ones that are safe are often badly designed, or are too weak, or too buzzy.

If you’re not familiar with vibration types, “buzzy” vibration feels like a tickle–it’s also described as “surface level,” because it only stimulates the surface area where you put it. I can sometimes orgasm from buzzy vibrations, but the orgasms usually feel weak and unsatisfying.1 Rumbly vibrations on the other hand, travel further and deeper. So if you’re using a vibrator clitorally, a buzzy vibrator only stimulates the clitoral glans, or wherever you put it, whereas a rumbly vibrator will stimulate wherever you put it, as well as the deeper, inner clitoris. This translates to stronger, more satisfying orgasms.

Enter the We-Vibe Tango & Touch. The Tango is made of hard plastic and features a straight, “bullet,” lipstick-like design, with an angled tip, and the Touch is made of silky matte silicone, with a broader design that features a cup-like tip to cover the clit. The reason I’m reviewing them together is because although they have different designs, they feature the same motor.

And let’s talk about that motor–because it’s what makes these vibes so unique, and so amazing. It’s strong. Miraculously strong. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also super rumbly. Like, mini earthquakes rumbly. And strong, rumbly vibration=incredibly strong, intense orgasms. To whoever created that motor–you are a hero!

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Since it’s smaller and made of hard plastic, the Tango is the stronger vibrator of the two. It’s so strong that I can use it over panties, and it’s also one of the only vibrators that can make me come without direct clitoral contact, its rumbly vibration awakening my inner clit. I am often greedy about my orgasms though, so I use it directly too, and I can come in record time. Like, Hitachi or Eroscillator fast…except it’s much smaller, and not a plug-in! The Tango’s angled tip is great for pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use its body for a little more surface area.

The Tango is so strong that one time while I was using it with Jake, I came almost the entire time we were having sex, and my vag got so tight from constant squeezing that Jake legit had a hard time staying inside of me. He had to thrust super hard to keep my vag from pushing him out. It’s also so fabulous that I’ve actually dreamed about masturbating with it. No one else was with me in my dream, nothing particularly interesting was happening…I was just using the Tango on my clit. It’s quite literally the stuff dreams are made of.

The Tango is also really versatile since it’s the same size as standard bullets, so you can use it to replace the generic bullets that come with a lot of vibrating dildos/butt plugs.

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Since the Touch is broader and its vibrations have to travel through silicone, they’re dampened a little and not quite as strong as the Tango–but don’t get me wrong, they’re still strong. The Touch also offers more surface area, which I like, and it’s concave area is great for cupping my clit, surrounding it with vibration. During sex with a partner, I usually prefer using the Touch, because I don’t need vibration to be as strong during penetration, and it’s easier to hold. (And sometimes the Tango can actually be too stimulating/overwhelming for me during sex.)

Both the Tango and the Touch are powered by a single button and feature 4 steady vibration power levels as well as 4 vibration patterns. To change the vibration, you click the button, and it will cycle through the functions. If you turn off the vibe (by holding down the button for a couple of seconds) and then turn it back on, it starts on the setting you used last. I can come one the first power level using either toy…and then I can orgasm again if I keep going, moving on to the stronger levels. I don’t use it often because I usually prefer steady vibration, but I do enjoy the Wave pattern. I’m not a big fan of the other 3 though–they feel a little too robotic.

Low
 =yes!
Medium
 =oh goddess, yes!
High
 =oh, fuck, yesssss!
Ultra
 =OMFG I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, YES!
Tease
 =Meh.
Wave
 =An enjoyable tease.
Pulse
 =Make it stop!
Cha-cha
 =No.

Not only are the Tango and Touch strong and rumbly, they’re also stealthy. A lot of vibrators claim to be whisper quiet–but in this case, they actually are. They’re I’m sleeping on a friend’s couch and want to orgasm really quickly before bed quiet. They’re come fast in the bathroom quiet. Hell, I bet they’re so quiet that you could use one in the bed next to a sleeping partner without waking them strong, though I haven’t tested that theory.

In addition to being strong, rumbly, and discreet, the Tango and Touch are also waterproof and rechargeable. They take 90 minutes to charge, and they last for up to 2 hours of use. When their batteries are running low, the power button blinks like a homing beacon, letting you know that you need to charge them ASAP. This can be somewhat annoying if they’re on your bed stand, but overall I appreciate this feature, because a Tango or Touch dying mid-use is excruciating.

So you’re probably thinking that there must be a downside to these vibes. They couldn’t be perfect, could they? They’re pretty damn close, but there are a few things. For one, the whole Tango vibrates, so your fingers do feel the vibration as well. This doesn’t happen as much with the Touch, though you still get a little bit of vibration in the handle part. I also wish the charge lasted longer. It seems that almost every day, they’re blinking, telling me to charge them again. And as I mentioned earlier, I don’t like most of the functions, but that’s not a big deal to me.

The last and worst problem, which applies to the Tango in particular, is that they can die easily. I’ve heard that We-Vibe updated their electrical boards since the first generation of Tangos to decrease the number of failed units, AKA sad, dead vibrators, which was a good move on We-Vibe’s part. My first version Tango died suddenly mid-wank one day, and to my dismay, it would never hold a charge after that. I’ve had my new Tango & Touch for 3 months now and haven’t had any problems, but I’ve heard some people still have. Still, they come with a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty, so if that happens within the first year, you can get it replaced quickly.

The current Tango and Touch are the second generation, and there are a few differences from the original design. I had the original Tango, but I never tried the original Touch. The most important difference is that the old Touch was also not as strong and made of a different type of silicone that attracted link and hair more easily. The Tango is pretty much the same, with a slightly longer design. They both feature an updated, less finicky charger. For a detailed description of all of the differences between the old and new versions, check out Dangerous Lilly’s reviews.

So, which should you get?

Both! Ok, but if you have to choose…

If all you care about is having the most powerful vibrations, get the Tango. If you’re willing to sacrifice a little bit of vibration strength for a vibe that’s more ergonomic, or if you prefer broader stimulation or soft toys, get the Touch. They’re both strong, quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable, so you really can’t go wrong with either though, unless you don’t like powerful, rumbly vibration.

dusk

So what’s next on my wishlist from We-Vibe? The Dusk! I included it in my 15 sex toys I want to try in 2015 list, because Epiphora says you can have hands free orgasms with the Dusk+Tango…OMFG, y’all!

Get the Tango in blue or pink from Shevibe or in pink from Lovehoney US or Lovehoney UK!

Get the Touch in purple from SheVibe, Lovehoney US, or Lovehoney UK!

*The Tango & Touch were sent by We-Vibe in exchange for my honest review–thanks We-Vibe! If you buy through my links, I will receive a small commission. If you want to support my blog, please clear your cache & cookies first to ensure I get credit–thanks!

 


  1. No, not all orgasms are created equal. 

Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2014

This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)

Best Vibrator

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LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.

Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!

Best Dildo

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Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.

Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.

Best Butt Toy

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NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!

Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!

Best BDSM Toy

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Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?

Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.

Best Book

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The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.

Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.

Best Bargain

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Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!

Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!

Worst Toy

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LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?) 

Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.

Biggest Disappointment

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LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no. 

Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.

Most Entertaining Review

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug

Lovehoney Sensual Glass Plug– Two words: butthole failure. I did finally get that sucker in, but oh boy was it a journey.

Runner Up: Fun Factory B Balls– There’s something funny about butt toys that fail, isn’t there? I’ve given the B Balls the nickname “poo balls.” Yes, they induced pooping when I used them, and no, it was not pleasant– but it was kind of hilarious.

Well, that’s all folks! What were your favorite and least favorite toys of 2014? Do you agree with my list? Have your own list? Let me know in the comments!

Review: Lelo Mona 2

pennysblog_monaIt was really only a couple of years, but I felt like I’d been waiting my whole life for the LELO Mona 2. It started with Epiphora’s glowing review. Then I felt its rumbly goodness at Catalyst Con last year. As time went by, it seemed like everyone and their Mom had a Mona except me (seriously, my best friend’s Mom has one.) I almost resigned myself as the person who would just photograph other people’s Monas, but thankfully LELO saved the day by sending me one to review.

The Lelo Mona 2 has a cult following. People make shrines to it. They have back up Monas. They’ve written songs about it and painted paintings in its honor. So to say I was excited to finally have a Mona to call my own would be an understatement.

By now I’m sure you’re wondering…does it live up to all the hype? Well, take a look at the brief notes I took after my first few times using Mona:

1st orgasm- I used Mona clitorally, it sent chills throughout my body even on its low setting. I was so fucking excited, I felt like I was losing my virginity again, I came at full power, and YESSS thank GOB for Mona.

2nd orgasm- Like 5 minutes after my 1st. I was famished and deciding between pizza and another orgasm and Mona won!

3rd- Came like a mofo during sex with Jake.

If you know me at all, then you know that it is a BIG DEAL when I choose anything over pizza, especially when I’m starving. So to choose another orgasm over cheesy heaven while my tummy is grumbling is one of the best compliments I could give a vibrator.

But since not everyone compares vibrators to pizza, let’s talk about why the Mona rocks a bit more objectively.

The Mona 2 is an all around solid vibrator. It’s 8″ long, with about 5 insertable inches1 of Lelo’s signature smooth, magical lint repelling silicone. It features a hard, curved body, and it has a wide range of power levels, from a light rumble to strong, satisfying vibrations. It has 6 vibration patters, which can be enjoyed at any power level. Its interface is sleek and user friendly–the buttons are easy to find and press, and they light up. It can be used both vaginally and clitorally. It’s completely submersible and easy to clean. Basically, Mona’s resume is extremely impressive.

Although it’s designed as a g-spot vibrator, where Mona really excels for me is clitorally. Its tapered shape is perfect for resting on my clit, and its long handle is a godsend because its easy to grip, and since its vibration is focused in the silicone portion, my hand doesn’t go numb. Its handle makes it very easy to use simultaneously with a dildo, a penis, or a butt toy–I can even have hands free orgasms with it squeezed between my legs while I’m on my side.

Mona is also the first vibrator I’ve actually enjoyed with the vibration turned on internally. It’s rumbly enough at its low settings that it doesn’t feel too tickly (as most internal vibes feel to me), though it’s too much and feels like it’s rattling my g-spot at its higher speeds. Its hard, curved shape feels good while thrusting and squeezing or just vibrating against my g-spot, and its fun to alternate between clitoral and internal vibration.

That said, Mona is not the holy grail of g-spot toys for me. Sometimes Mona’s shape and vibration is enough for my g-spot, but often it just doesn’t feel quite curved enough or girthy enough. When I’m craving an intense, squirty session, I’ll reach for the Pure Wand, Buck, or another one of my favorite dildos…but often with Mona on my clit! And although it doesn’t always wow mine, plenty of other people’s g-spots adore it. In fact, I seem to be part of a minority of people who don’t love it unquestionably for g-spotting.

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Mona is one of my favorite vibes, and I highly recommend it for most people. Its shape, strong vibration, and easy to hold handle make it a fantastic all around vibe. It’s a great first time (or any time) vibe purchase, since it’s incredibly versatile–it has a wide range of vibration, it can be used vaginally or clitorally, and it’s completely waterproof. It’s also sleek, rechargeable, and as is standard for Lelo, it’s made of smooth, hygienic silicone and comes with a 1 year warranty. If you’re like me, Mona might even cause you to question the meaning of life after you choose it over pizza…

The only people I don’t recommend Mona to: people who are looking for very intense g-spot stimulation and prefer girth or an extreme curve, or people looking for very strong vibration. Mona is rumbly and strong, but it’s not a powerhouse. If you want/need the most powerful vibrations available, I’d recommend the Magic Wand, Eroscillator, or Tango instead. And if you’re looking for intense, direct g-spot stim, the Pure Wand or Comet Wand.

Get the Mona directly from Lelo, or at SheVibeLovehoney UK, or Early to Bed.

Thanks Lelo, for sending me this amazing vibe in exchange for my honest review!

 


  1. ~1.5.” max girth 

Review: Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo

Although I constantly have new vibrators to test out for reviews, I still always use my all-time favorite toy. Always. Because even though I like other vibes, so far nothing has ever compared to the easy, powerful orgasms I get from the Hitachi1 Nothing.

Until now.

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Enter: The Eroscillator

Since I got the Eroscillator (Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo) about a month ago, I’ve neglected my Hitachi. I’ve only used it a few times for comparison. Sure, I’ve been using the Eroscillator a lot and trying out its various attachments for review purposes…but it also satisfies me just as much as the Hitachi…if not more. Yes, you heard me right. I’ve finally found a vibe that rivals my beloved Hitachi.

So what is this amazing machine?

The Eroscillator is essentially just a plug-in, 3 speed vibrator that comes with attachments for different sensations. But it’s so much more than that–it’s an orgasm beast machine. Unlike other vibrators, the Eroscillator moves back and forth at 3600 oscillations per minute. And about those orgasms…holy fuck, y’all, they’re intense.

As cliché as it may sound, the Eroscillator brings me “waves” of pleasure. While the Hitachi pounds orgasms out of me, the Eroscillator seems to pull them out from deep inside. Or it rubs them out. It’s hard to articulate. The Eroscillator makes me come so hard that I think I won’t be able to again, but then I do. It turns into a challenge called how many times can I get off, and I always win. It leaves me sweaty, tired, giddy, and satisfied–I often can’t move for at least a few minutes afterwards, and I almost always need immediate munchies to regain my strength.

Now that I’ve introduced you to the best part of the Eroscillator (ahem, the orgasms!), let’s talk about how it works. The Eroscillator’s body is 8″ long and is made of hard plastic with ribbing for easy gripping, and they snap on & off easily. It’s 3 power settings are controlled by sliding the Eroscillator nameplate up and down, and as you do, the power setting you’re on (1, 2, or 3) is displayed. The Eroscillator weighs 8oz (which is light for a wand), and its cord is a generous 12ft, so it’s easy to hold and position even with a partner. Although I can orgasm using it over my panties, I prefer to use it (with lube) for direct clitoral stimulation.

I try not to compare all of my vibes to the Hitachi, since it’s kind of its own animal, but since the Eroscillator is also a powerful plug-in vibe I can’t help but compare them. Logistically speaking the Eroscillator has a lot of advantages over the Hitachi–its cord is twice as long, it’s much quieter and lighter, and it features 3 increasing power levels instead of 2. Although it’s not as powerful as the Hitachi, it can provide equally intense orgasms, so it’s perfect for people who want intense stimulation without the jack-hammer strength of the Hitachi. The Eroscillator is quite pricey though comparatively.

From reading other Eroscillator reviews, I know that preferences for attachments vary wildly, but here’s an overview, in order from my favorite to least favorite. They’re all made of TPR except the Soft Finger, which is made of silicone elastomer. Since they’re porous, they can’t be sterilized or safety shared with non-fluid-bonded partners, which is disappointing.

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1- The Ultra Soft Finger Tip (Aka, the “Marshmallow”)- My favorite attachment by far. I love the broad, soft stimulation it provides. It does dampen the vibration the most out of all of the attachments, but it’s still very powerful.

2- G-Point– The convex side is meant for g-spot stimulation, but my g-spot prefers girth & pressure to vibration, so I don’t like using it internally. The concave side is supposed to be for clitoral stimulation. I actually prefer the convex side, clitorally.

3-Golden Spoon– This one is great for labia stimulation, and I also enjoy either side clitorally.

4-The Seven Pearls of the Orient– This one is supposedly for vaginal or anal penetration, but I don’t recommend using it anally since it could possibly dislodge from the base & become stuck in the rectum. It doesn’t do much for me vaginally, but it’s great for pinpoint clitoral vibration.

5-The French Legionnaire’s Moustache– Bringing hipster to a whole new level. I like the way it feels with the head part on my clit with the mustache tickling my labia. I only like this one at the lower 2 speeds; with the 3rd the bristles irritate me. Prepare for messiness, because the mustache is a lube sprinkler.

6- Ball & Cup Heads– The concave side is designed for clitoral stimulation, and the convex side “might help you to exercise your vagina.2” Both sides tend to annoy my clit (I prefer the other rounder, smoother attachments.)

7-Grapes & Cockscomb Heads– My least favorite attachment. The texture of the grapes irritates my clit to the point that it’s almost painful, and the comb part does slide down the sides of my labia nicely which is good for teasing, but I can’t come unless I press the comb sideways onto my clit, which takes some finagling and is frustrating.

As much as I adore my new Eroscillator, it does have some cons, namely the steep price. The cheapest version of the Top Deluxe with Extra Power (what I have) is $195, and that doesn’t include my fave attachment, the Soft Finger. For $230 you can get it with the Soft Finger, but you don’t get my 2nd fave attachment, the G Point. For the full package with all of the attachments, it’s $255. And although I do think the orgasms are worth it, I’m disappointed that the attachments are TPR and not silicone, especially considering the price. I also wish it came with a nicer case (it includes a plain plastic “storage bag” that’s unimpressive.) Oh, and it also looks like an electric toothbrush and could definitely use an update in the design department I’ve come to love it’s retro/steam punk feel, and who cares what it looks like anyways when it’s delivering me foundation shattering orgasms.

Foundation shattering orgasms

Foundation shattering orgasms

In Epiphora’s review of the Eroscillator, she says “Everyone with a clitoris should own the Eroscillator. Hell, everyone with a soul should own it,” and I fully agree.

If you’re looking for deep vibration and orgasms, you’ll love the Eroscillator. If you love your Hitachi & think nothing else will compare, I dare you to try it. If you have yet to find a vibe that really wows you, Eroscillator is probably the answer. And in the unlikely event that you don’t like the Eroscillator, you can get a refund within 30 days (it’s also warranty protected for a year.)

As far as which one to get, I’ve only tried the Top Deluxe with extra power, so I can’t say how much power you’re losing if you get the original, but honestly I wouldn’t want to lose any of its intensity. If you’re sensitive however, you could go for the original

In case you haven’t noticed, I am heels over head in love with my new Eroscillator. So much so, that I almost cried when I thought it wasn’t working anymore (the A/C adapter just wasn’t inserted all the way, thank GOB.) I’m not going to shun my original favorite though. Comparing the two is kind of like trying to compare cheesecake and pie–they’re both delicious, and I don’t want to live in a world without either one.

**Update 2016: I now recommend ordering the Eroscillator from SheVibe or another trusted retailer rather than directly from Eroscillator.com due to a negative experience one of my readers had when their purple g-point attachment wouldn’t snap on properly. The product was faulty, but the problem was not resolved quickly, and the customer service was crappy.


  1. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s called the “Magic Wand Original” now, but I don’t care. Mine says Hitachi on it, & I will forever call it that. 

  2. As to how, I have no idea.