7 years ago today, I met my partner when he served me slices of pizza one tipsy night on 6th Street. 7 years later, we’re still together and stronger than ever, even though we’re both a lot different now than we were back then.
It may surprise you, but 7 years ago, I wasn’t the open minded, sex-positive human I am now. Back then, I was having lots of sex, but I still had a lot of sex negative hang ups, and there was a lot I didn’t know. To celebrate my partner & I’s anniversary and the sexual discoveries we’ve made together, here are 7 things I’ve tried with him that I never thought I would 7 years ago.
1. Anal Sex– Even when I started working at a sex shop (less than a year into our relationship) and began learning about the plethora of anal toy options, I didn’t think I’d actually want to play with my own butt. I used to think, but poop comes out of there! Now I love putting things in my butt! (And surprise, gross things sometimes come out of my mouth and vag too, but I never thought oral and vag sex were weird so…) Butts are full of sensitive nerve endings, and butt play is now an awesome part of my sexual repertoire. Bring on the butt toys and thick lube!
2. Pegging– This goes along with #1, but back when I first learned what pegging was, I thought it was even less likely that I’d put things in Jake’s butt than in mine. I remember my manager at the shop saying, you should try it with Jake…and I thought he’d never do that! I thought he’d think I was a weirdo for even asking. As it turns out, I was actually projecting my own hangups onto my partner…in fact, he’d tried butt things before we were together, and exploring pegging wasn’t a big deal. Communication is key!
3. Squirting– As with pegging, when I first met Jake, I didn’t even know what squirting was. Then I got a hold of Deborah Sundahl’s book… and the rest is history. It wasn’t as simple as reading the book and squirting the next day, but once I learned where my g-spot is, how to stimulate it, and how to get over the fear of being messy during sex, I was on the right track. Now I soak throes and knee socks and write about it!
4. Threesomes– I used to have issues with jealousy. If you can believe it, I used to get jealous of girls who flirted with Jake at work (he’s a bartender.) I used to think that I was supposed to be jealous, and that I was supposed to somehow magically be the only person my partner is attracted to (which doesn’t make sense, since I’m attracted to other people as well.) Years later, we are now non-monogamous and have had quite a few fun threesome experiences that have brought us even closer together.
5. Double Penetration– This could fall under anal sex or threesomes, but I think it warrants its own number. I remember one of the first porn scenes I saw in High School was a DP, and I remember thinking why would anyone do that, ever. Now I know. Because the amazing, intense feeling of being filled and fucked is overwhelming in the best way.
6. Watching Porn Together– I used to think porn was bad. I thought it was only for men. I thought it was demeaning. When I started working at the shop, I realized lots of people watch porn, and that it’s normal. Sure, there is still some problematic porn, but there’s also empowering, hot, ethical porn. In fact, watching porn with my partner led to us talking about things we saw like squirting and threesomes, which led the way to many of the fun experiences we had later on!
7. Electrosex– Of all the things I never thought I’d do, this one is probably the most shocking (pun intended.) If present Penny traveled to Penny of 2008 and told her one day she’d like getting zapped by a wand that looks like it belongs to a kinky mad scientist, she’d be like WHHHAT?! Oh, past Penny, the things you were missing out on!
Jake and I have tried a lot of new things together, sexual and otherwise…but there’s still so much to explore! What are some things you’ve tried that you never thought you would? Feel free to share in the comments!