Category Archives: Sex Topics

Tips for using sex toys & avoiding (vaginal) infections

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and I don’t have any medical training. I am someone with a vagina who uses lots of sex toys and used to have a problem with yeast infections, speaking from my own experience as well as things I’ve learned over the years from reading about sex toys and vaginal health and talking to others about it. The tips I’ve laid out are for prevention, not treatment, so go to the doctor if you need to!

There are what seems like about a million factors than can contribute to getting a vaginal infection. The vagina has a delicate pH balance, and anything that upsets that can cause an overgrowth of yeast or bad bacteria. You’re more likely to get yeast infections around menstruation, if you use hormonal birth control, if you wear tight clothing/non-cotton underwear, among other things. Add sex toys to the mix, and you can potentially open yourself to the possibility of infection. Don’t worry though–you can use sex toys safely if you take some precautions. Most of these tips are focused around the vagina, but #1 & 2 apply to butts/mouths as well.

pennysblog_safetoys

Safe sex toy materials/natural lubes

1. Avoid using porous sex toys (especially in orifices.)

There are a lot of unsafe sex toys on the market that are incredibly porous, meaning they have tiny holes in their material that can harbor harmful bacteria and potentially spread infections and STIs. These sex toys will never be truly clean, even after what seems like a thorough washing. In addition to potentially harboring bacteria or mold, porous toys often leach out phthalates and other harmful chemicals over time, which can cause itching, burning, and other bad reactions that you don’t want to subject your genitals to.

Although it’s best to avoid these materials completely, it’s especially important for internal use toys. While they still can’t be sterilized and could present issues, using porous toys for external use, such as penis masturbators, cock rings, or clitoral vibes might not be as big a deal for some people. Still, proceed with caution. You can use condoms or other barriers to prevent spreading bacteria, but it’s unclear whether barriers will really protect you from phthalates and harmful chemicals. Porous toys should not be shared with partners who aren’t fluid bonded, as they can spread infections. Avoid jelly sex toys like the plague, and also stay away from PVC, rubber, TPR, TPE, elastomer, or basically anything that isn’t listed in the following paragraph whenever possible, especially for internal use.

Are you starting to fear for your safety now? Don’t worry, there are lots of safe, non-porous sex toy options: glass, stainless steel, 100% silicone, sealed wood, ceramic, and hard plastic. When these toy are cleaned thoroughly, they are truly clean. Just be sure to wash them properly (see #2.) If you want to learn more about toxic/unsafe toys, there’s tons of info on this page.

2. Wash Your Toys Properly

If you’re using a non-porous toy, then once you give it a good cleaning, it’s truly clean and safe to use again and potentially even share. There are a few different options for toy cleaning. You can wipe down/wash your toy with soap and warm water or use a 10% bleach/90%water solution. If you’re washing a toy with a lot of texture or a vibrator with buttons etc., use an old toothbrush to get in all of the crevices of the toy. If your toy doesn’t have an attached motor and is made of silicone, you can also boil it it or run it through your dishwasher cycle (no detergent.) You can potentially boil/dish-wash glass or metal too, but take care as both retain temperature and can also scratch or chip if not handled carefully.

Wash your toys before you use them, and make sure you rinse them thoroughly. You should also wash your toys after you use them when possible, and it’s a good idea to do it as soon as you can, so that lube and body fluids don’t get crusted to your toys.Sliquid Sunset

3. Use the Right Lube

Even if you’re using safe, non-porous toy materials, you can still potentially get yeast infections if you’re using the wrong lube. A lot of drugstore, “mainstream” lubricants contain glycerin, which is irritating to a lot of people.  Look for lubes that say glycerin free, and check the ingredients. There are also other ingredients in a lot of lubes than can be irritating, so if you’re sensitive, I recommend using a natural, hypoallergenic lube with few ingredients–my favorite brand is Sliquid.

4. Keep Butt Germs Away from Your Vagina

Anal play is awesome, but anuses have bacteria that can be harmful to the vulva/vagina and can cause vaginal or urinary tract infections. If you’re using a toy and want to switch from butt to vulva or vaginal stimulation, put a condom over it. Or, have a condom on the toy when you’re using it anally, and then take it off when you switch to vaginal. This goes for fingers/hands/tongues/pensises as well (use gloves, condoms, or dental damns, etc.)

5. Practice Good Vaginal Health

While using the wrong sex toys/lube can cause yeast infections, they may be caused by many other factors as well. There are a lot of other things you can do for good general vaginal health.Wearing cotton panties and loose clothing is a good idea, especially if you tend to have problems with yeast infections. I’ve also personally found probiotics to be helpful. Other things you can do for vaginal health: stay hydrated, eat healthy foods, make sure your/other people’s hands are clean before they go near your vagina, pee after sex, practice safer sex, and go in for check-ups and STI tests. Also, don’t douche or use feminine sprays or deodorants. Douching is not only unnecessary, it’s very harsh and can throw off the vagina’s natural bacterial balance and pH level. An external rinse is really all you need, and you can use a hypoallergenic, low pH soap externally if you want. In addition to avoiding lubricants and other products with glycerin, anything with sugar should not be introduced to the vagina–as Molly mentioned in her comment, lollipops shaped like cocks can be fun for photos etc. but should never be inserted, and this goes for other candy/syrups etc.

As I said before, I’m not a doctor or health professional. All of these tips are for prevention, not treatment, and this isn’t all encompassing. Did you know you that semen can actually through off your vaginal pH balance as well? So can certain medications and underlying health problems. If you already have an infection or reoccurring infections, go see to a doctor.

*Products pictured: Mona 2, Atomic Rose Plug/Crystal Twist, Buck, Tango, Juice, Pure Wand, Comet Wand, Sliquid Oceanics & Sassy

wickedwed

Diana J Torres- Vagaculation Workshop

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop

I didn’t really know what to expect from queer, anarcha-feminist activist and performance artist Diana J Torres’ Vagaculation1 workshop at Forbidden Fruit Thursday night. Or rather, I kind of just expected it to be a class on techniques on how to ejaculate, but it was so much more than that–it was full of real talk about the social and political reasons why women (or people who have a vagina) don’t ejaculate.

Diana began by telling us her story–she’s always been an ejaculator, leaving a “lake on the bed.”  For years she thought she was peeing every time she had great sex, but something clicked for her after a time when she noticed a white ring around the puddle she’d left.

She had a feeling that she wasn’t peeing during sex but didn’t know what was happening, so Diana turned to science to try to figure out what was going on with her body, where she found bullshit and sexist ignorance at every turn. At the University of Barcelona, she found scientific diagrams of female anatomy with white space where the female prostate should be. Medical descriptions undermined women’s pleasure, calling the vulva a “secondary characteristic” and the clitoris an “incidental organ” (are you fucking kidding?)

I’d rather have my head cut off than my clit, she said in response to that.

Basically, women’s anatomy that isn’t related to reproduction or hetero sex is undermined or ignored within medicine and ignorance reigns. So much so, that in Spain and Mexico, if you go to a gyno and explain that you think you’re peeing during sex (ejaculating), that they’ll send you to a urologist, and then they’ll remove your prostate to “fix the problem.” Girls as young as 18 have come to Diana’s workshops and have told her about this happening to them. I know that cunt ejaculation is still very taboo, but I had no idea this was happening–it’s beyond infuriating!

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop3You may have noticed by now that I haven’t referred to the “g-spot” so far in this post, and there’s a reason for that. Another thing Diana talked about was what she considers the conspiracy or war against the (female) prostate. She explained that she thinks that Gräfenberg (the man who “discovered” the g-spot) couldn’t just come out and say that women have prostates because of his era, but that everything he discovered pointed to what he found (the g-spot) as being a prostate very similar to men’s prostates.

From that point on, according to Torres, the idea of the g-spot and especially its relation to orgasm was a money making ploy to get people to buy books and products about how to find the g-spot, while at the same time keeping women from actually knowing their bodies. Many of the books about finding the g-spot were aimed at men, as if women can’t find it themselves. In her opinion, the word g-spot is overly femme and misleading because in reality it’s a prostate, and there’s no reason not to call it that.2 She explained that women can get prostate cancer, but that by the time it’s caught it’s often spread and is classified as vaginal cancer, and that the prostate isn’t a gendered thing–there aren’t a lot of differences between male and female prostates.

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop2Her ideas were reinforced by research of other cultures that mention female ejaculation as completely normal. Aristotle, Hypocrates, and Galenus all mentioned cunt ejaculation and the term sperm wasn’t gendered because they didn’t know yet that sperm are only present in male ejaculation. Female ejaculation is also part of a ritual in matriarchal socities called “kachapati” in Uganda, wherein older women teach young women to ejaculate as part of a rite of passage.

So if ejaculation was seen in history as a normal part of women’s sexuality (and is considered normal in some other cultures), what happened? Our western cultures and oppressive religion happened (namely, Catholicism.)

After talking about the ways in which female ejaculation has been systematically ignored, or worse, vilified as something that only whores do, Torres went on to explain how we can GET REVENGE (aka take back our sexuality) by:

-Knowing out bodies better than science does. Mistrust science always.

-Make up for lost time by practicing.

-Spread the word! You don’t have to tell everyone you meet on the street about cunt ejaculation (though that sounds kind of amazing to me.) Tell everyone you care about.

She also shared tips on how to start ejaculating (or become ok with it if there is shame associated with it):

It’s NOT pee. Repeat this like a mantra. She suggests cumming onto a black sheet so that you can see a white ring around it after it dries as she did, or ejaculating into a container to see that it’s not yellow.

Even though I ejaculate, and I know it’s not pee, I still stick my nose in my come almost every time, just to smell it and remind myself. I’ve also blotted the wetness with toilet paper to check its color. She also suggests checking your pee color right after sex, because if you don’t expel ejaculate, retrograde ejaculation happens and it ends up in the bladder, often changing the color of your pee to white.

-Get over the women are “clean” and their pleasure is “discreet” lies. LIES. LIES. LIES.

-Techniques: Relax right before orgasm instead of contracting, which is usually our reflex. If you do start to ejaculate, push to keep it going. You can’t contract and push at the same time, so if you push, you’ll stop your contracting. She also suggests using fingers (and putting your shoulder into it when your hand gets tired) though personally dildos work better for me. Either way, you can’t usually ejaculate when you have anything big inside of you, so it’ll have to come out at some point.

-Be patient.

-Protect your mattress. Get a plastic mattress cover (or if you want to be fancy, a Throe–I don’t know what I would do without mine!) This is actually a health issue, as fungus can grow on a wet mattress and cause health problems.

-Tell partners ahead of time that you might ejaculate. This can serve as a filter for good lovers and will help avoid people who may have unintentionally (or intentionally) negative responses when surprised by vagaculation.

Although her workshop was very different from the one Deborah Sundahl hosted here in Austin a few years ago, the core theme I took away from both of them was the same–that the reasons women don’t ejaculate are mainly psychological.

What does this mean for us though? It’s definitely not as simple as, “Oh, ok, I’ve been told that women are meant to be clean and proper, and that’s BS so I’ll just start ejaculating now!” As Diana said–you’re not going to erase centuries of oppression in one workshop (or one attempt.) It takes time and effort. And it may never happen, and that’s fine. Not being able to ejaculate doesn’t make you any less of a “real women” or a “real feminist.” You aren’t missing mind blowing orgasms if you don’t ejaculate (in fact, ejaculation isn’t even necessarily connected to orgasms at all.)

pennysblog_vagaculationworkshop1Another thing I found incredibly interesting during the class was that Diana told us about how once she tried to stop her ejaculation by putting her finger over her urethra, and she still ejaculated. So she looked into it more and discovered there are actually other holes besides the urethra that expel ejaculate–the Skene’s ducts.

This led to an interesting discussion that I started on Twitter. She said you can see the ducts if you pull the labia taught and shine a light directly in front of it. I have yet to see them on my vulva (I need a magnifying mirror stat!) but I am definitely going to explore this.

I could go on and on about the workshop. It was extremely thought provoking, and Diana was in your face and intense and at times hilarious. At first I wondered if I should share the things I learned in this workshop on my blog…since we did pay ($10 which was well worth it) to go to her workshop.

But that is the opposite of what her workshop was about. It was about fighting ignorance and spreading knowledge and breaking through the patriarchal bullshit and owning our sexuality. It was about explaining that the g-spot/prostate isn’t something you need to spend money to find or something mysterious you have to go mining in your vagina for.

And on the flip side–this is by no means an all inclusive explanation of her workshop. I took copious notes, but there was an energy in the class that I can’t explain by just describing her points. I may write more about some of the things she talked about in greater depth because there was so much to think about, and if anyone has questions or thoughts, I’d love to chat.

If you’re in Austin, Diana’s doing two more events this weekend, one tonight (Porno Terrorismo) and one on Sunday (Muestra marrana.) And if you ever get a chance to go to one of her workshops, GO. Just trust me. Also, she’s coming out with a book soon, so I can’t wait to read that.

*Thanks for hosting this awesome workshop Forbidden Fruit!


  1. I love the name vagaculation, btw. Vagaculation. Vagaculation. 

  2. I’m not condemning the term g-spot, but it’s definitely something worth thinking about. 

Yes, the G-Spot Is Real

Yesterday I finally made it out to Q-Toys, the only store in Austin that carries only safe, non-toxic sex toys, for a g-spot workshop. The small shop on Burnet is a mecca for those seeking quality toys in Texas, and I had a great time checking out some I’ve been eyeing, like the We-Vibe Touch, Vixskin Mustang, and Pure Plugs, and talking to the awesome and friendly owner Stephanie.

What I wasn’t impressed with though was the g-spot workshop. And by not impressed I actually mean very upset.

The class seemed to have potential, with the Pure Wand, Gigi, and other quality g-spot toys lining the front table, but things went downhill fast when the presenter (Julie Sunday) started the workshop by saying that no one really knows if the g-spot exists.

At first I thought maybe it was a joke or a transition into discussing how the study of female pleasure is often dismissed or distorted, but it wasn’t. We’ve all heard the debates about whether or not the g-spot exists, even though we know it does. The g-spot is the urethral sponge. It sits around the urethra & can be felt through the front wall of the vagina. I’m not surprised (but still upset) when I hear these discussions in mainstream media, but in a sex positive store, from a sex educator?

Yes, a sex educator started the g-spot workshop by saying that no one knows if the g-spot exists, and if it does, no one knows what it is. She drew up a diagram of vaginal anatomy, but with ??? instead of labeling the g-spot.

workshopdiagramMy heightened blood pressure lowered a bit as the presenter moved on to talk about toys that stimulate the g-spot…until at the end of the class, as if it was an afterthought, she mentioned female ejaculation.

Specifically, she claimed that some women just ejaculate and others don’t, and if you don’t already ejaculate naturally, you probably never will, so don’t worry about it. She joked, “there are some porn dvds that claim they can teach it, so if you want to drop $50, I’m sure it works (sarcastic tone.)”

What??

At this point I was screaming on the inside, and I wanted to get up in front of the class and say this is absolutely not true! But I didn’t want to get into a big confrontation, so I waited until she was done. I whispered to my friend about it, who was equally shocked by the presentation, and then I approached Julie when someone else was done asking her a question.

I tried to be friendly as I told her that it’s definitely possible to learn how to ejaculate, that I have, and that I know of a lot of others who have too. Her response was to tell me that it’s a big thing in porn to ejaculate, and that it puts unnecessary pressure on people and that plenty of people are just fine without it. I understand that this may be the case for some people, but isn’t that why we’re here at a g-spot class, to learn about stimulating the g-spot?

I tried talking to her more about my concerns with what she’d said, but it was going nowhere. I started feeling pretty uncomfortable talking to her, and I’m not great with confrontation, so I let it go and went back to looking at toys and talking to the owner.

I wasn’t planning on critiquing the workshop at all, but I feel obligated to say something about the misinformation in the class. We already have enough people claiming the g-spot isn’t real and that female ejaculation isn’t real or you have to be a porn star to do it, and the fact that a sex educator is furthering these misconceptions worries me. If I didn’t already know what the g-spot is and how to stimulate mine, I would have left the workshop confused, frustrated, and discouraged.

It’s definitely possible to learn how to ejaculate. I’ve done it, plenty of others have done it, and there are books and classes that can help. Not everyone can do it, and not everyone likes it, and that’s fine, but there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to or trying to learn.

There are a plethora of misconceptions about the g-spot. It isn’t the be all end all of female pleasure. It’s not a magic place you can just find and immediately start having the best orgasms of your life. Everyone’s g-spot is different, some are more sensitive than others, and not everyone enjoys the way g-spot stimulation feels.

But the g-spot is a real, physical thing. Period.

From The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-spot

From The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot

*Helpful G-Spot Links & Resources:

Does the G-Spot Exist? – She Blog

Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot – Deborah Sundahl

G-spot Resource Guide & G-spot Facts – Violet Blue

How To Find the G-Spot – Ducky Doolittle

The G-Spot Does Exist! – Oh, Megan!

The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms & Female Ejaculation

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot

Tristan Taormino, Danny Wylde, & Dylan Ryan Talk the G-spot

**Update 6/27**

The owner of Q Toy’s response to my post (which I emailed her about) was mostly dismissive. She said that she wouldn’t address Julie’s stance on female ejaculation because she had already talked to her about it and knew they disagreed on the subject (so she knew before the workshop that the educator doesn’t believe women can learn to ejaculate, which is a problem.)

As for the g-spot not existing, she defended the presentation, saying that no one was claiming the g-spot doesn’t exist, only that the scientific community hasn’t agreed on it etc. But as I explained before, the presentation started by saying that no one knows if the g-spot exists or what it is, and Julie didn’t assert that it is real or explain the basics of what it is. Hence the ??? on the diagram.  She did say that if I took it that way, others might too, so she’d talk to Julie about re-framing the discussion, which is something, but the fact that she defended the presentation and made it seem like it was acceptable and normal is frustrating. Not surprisingly, she also said she wished I had come to her before posting (which actually means, I wish you had come to me so I could convince you not to post.)

I explained myself further in another email, although I feel it was already properly addressed in my post:

“I wanted to wait until the presentation was over to bring it up to be polite, but as I said in my post, I was not able to engage in a constructive conversation with Julie. When I said there are books about the g-spot, she immediately said they don’t know what they’re talking about. I responded, “Violet Blue doesn’t know what she’s talking about?” and she said “no, definitely not,” immediately dismissing me. The way she described female ejaculation & trying to learn was also sarcastic and negative. A workshop space should not be a place that makes fun of people who are trying to learn about female ejaculation or any sexual topic.”

I never heard back after that. After her response to my 1st email & lack of response to my 2nd, I don’t feel comfortable shopping at Q Toys again, which is unfortunate because I liked the store. Also, from the response I got, it seems the problematic presentation will continue mostly as is, with the same presenter.

Vampire Themed Sex Toys

pennysblog_buffyholywaterlubeDo you have a thing for creatures of the night? There’s just something about their strength, blood lust, and pointy teeth isn’t there? Or maybe you’re a vampire who wants to incorporate slayer-play into your sexual routine? Do you crave the warm touch of a human but you’re too embarrassed to admit it or afraid of rejection? Maybe you’re just lonely? Well you’re in luck!

Recently I saw someone on Twitter looking for a sex toy “stake” for some x-rated Buffy play, and if you know me, then you know I am a huge BTVS/Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood fan, and the topic of Buff/vampire fantasy play and toys has definitely crossed my mind before (pun intended.) I make sure to have my Hitachi out before I watch Smashed, and my favorite threesome fantasy features Angel and Spike (or Eric & Bill!), but I’d also do pretty much any combo of any of the characters on Buffy or Angel (Buffy+Spike, Willow+Tara, Xander+Anya, Cordy+Angel, Willow+Fred, Wesley+Gunn, Willow+Vamp Willow…I think you see where I’m going with this.)

So after some diligent patrolling of the Inter-webs for vampire themed sex toys, I’ve compiled this list for all of the vampire/slayer/Buffy/Sookie/Twilight/Anne Rice peeps out there. This also serves as an ongoing wishlist of mine…someday there will be some epic sex toy photos atop Buffy the board game. Without further ado, here it is:

The Ultimate List of Vampire Themed Sex Toys:

Vamp Penis

pennysblog_truecock

Oh Tantus, as if I didn’t love you enough already, you actually created a dildo that caters to vampire obsessed fans like me. I’m pretty sure the Vamp was created with Twilighters in mind, but Spike is who I’ll picture when this glorious toy is in my vagina. If the Vamp’s shape isn’t exactly what you’re looking for but you still want a vamp cock, any of the realistic Tantus dildos (Adam, Mark, etc.) or Vixen dildos (BuckMustang, Maverick, etc.) can pass for vamp (or human.) Also, for all of the Dracula followers out there, Fleshlight makes a Drac dildo that will put you under his thrall.

Vamp Orifices

pennysblog_succudry2

If a life-like vamp mouth or vagina is what you seek, Fleshlight has you covered with their Succu DryDrac, & Count Cockula masturbators. With these realistic toys, you can have safe vampire sex without the threat of death or unwanted siring. And vamps who crave a warm touch, there are tons of human orifices of all kinds for your enjoyment!

Stake Dildos

intrigue If you’re going to fight vampires, you need a stake, and if you’re going to pull off some really hot X-rated Buffy scenes, you need a stake dildo. If you’re a vampire, these are perfect for acting out dangerous fantasies without the real threat of turning to dust. My top pick is the Intrigue because it looks a lot like Mr. Pointy, but the Delve could definitely pass for your typical straight stake also.

Crucifix Dildos

JesusSteelMed Equal parts funny, offensive, and creepy, the Jackhammer Jesus is definitely a toy Buffy would keep in her weapons chest if the show were XXX. While cross dildos are perfect for slayer fantasies, vamps beware–crosses are only ideal for true masochists and should be used with caution.

Holy Water Lube

HolyWaterFrontMed Another must have in any x-rated weapons chest: Holy water lube. Yep, it’s real peeps! And since it’s not actually blessed, vamps can use it for sexy, pain-free fantasies too! (I’d recommend doing a patch test though, just in case.)

Temperature Play

glasscock Vamps and humans alike can enjoy fantasies of each others’ company by incorporating temperature play into their sex play. Glass & metal are the best materials, but silicone can work as well. Just dip the toy in a bowl full of warm or cold water, and you’re good to go. Warming and cooling lubes can also help you get that cold-as-ice vamp or warm human touch you desire.

Vamp Kink

vampiregloves If you want to play out rough vampire sex fantasies, replicate the thrill of being bitten, held captive, or almost staked etc., you’ll need some kinky toys. Vampire gloves are a natural choice, as are handcuffs and other restraints and impact toys. Remember, if you’re pretending to capture someone as dangerous as say, Angelus, you’ll need something heavy duty!

Vamp Porn

buffy-xxx-dvd Though I haven’t watched any yet (Spuffy scenes are enough to send me off), there is quite a bit of vampire porn out there, such as the Buffy the Vampire Slayer XXX Porn Parody, Buffy the Vampire Layer, This Ain’t Dracula XXX, other Dracula titles, Twilight porn, Tru– An XXX Parody and other general vampire porn. Nothing could ever be hotter than James Marsters though. Nothing.

*Vampire friends & fans, if you have any other ideas, if I missed something, or you just want to share your fave fantasies, please comment!*

 

Why I Post Nude Photos (and why I blog about sex)

My photography is one facet of my creative expression through my blog, and the reason I do it is related to why I blog about sex in general. It’s all a part of reclaiming my love for my body and my sexuality.

I’ve always known that I’m a sexual being. Though they’re fuzzy, I have many memories of sexual exploration with friends, as well as reading and thinking about sex as a child. I’ve also always liked attention and having my photo taken; I’ve had a strong sensual energy from an early age.

By the time I was a teenager though, I began to feel ashamed of my urges to explore my sexuality. The Catholic Church taught me that women should be “pure” and “modest” and hide their bodies, and that any sexual encounters before marriage are mortal sins.

I remember videotaping myself one night at age 13, doing a dance I’d made up, wearing a swimsuit top that I pulled up high so you could see the bottoms of my small breasts peeking out. As I danced, I felt in touch with my body, I felt sexy, and when I watched myself afterwards on the little video screen up in my room, I became more and more turned on and excited, but feelings of guilt quickly creeped into my head, and I hastily deleted the video because I thought that if anyone ever saw it they would think I was a slut.

This tension between what I was constantly told to do and think and how I actually felt, acted, and thought, damaged my body image, my view of my own sexuality, and my overall self-esteem.

In High School I started having sex, rejecting the idea that I would be dammed to hell for it, but I had no access to sex education, so I was pretty clueless. My Mom let me get on the pill after I complained about cramps, but I still constantly worried about getting pregnant or getting an STI. Looking back, I’m really lucky that neither of those things happened, since I didn’t even know how to properly use a condom (abstinence only education at its finest.)

The church’s scare tactics didn’t keep me from having sex, but the shame associated with sexuality seeped into my subconscious, and even though I wanted to love myself and my body, I struggled with the embarrassment I had been taught to feel, by both my religion and society in general.

Even though I was having sex, I could hardly look at myself up close, let alone name the important parts like my clit and g-spot. I looked at my vulva once with a compact mirror, and I was terrified by what I saw. I thought it was ugly. I didn’t like my natural smell and constantly feared that I had an STI, so I douched, which is actually horrible for your body.  I didn’t know about the importance of communication in relationships, and I hadn’t even heard of the word “consent.” I thought rape was black and white and only encompassed physical force; I didn’t realize that feeling pressured to do things when you don’t want to isn’t healthy, safe, or consensual.

My true sexual revolution didn’t happen until I started working at a sex shop during my senior year at UT. During the three years I worked there, I read and learned more about sex and met sex positive women who I could talk to. I finally got to the point where I was truly proud of my body and my sexuality again.

While working at the shop I started modeling (sometimes nude), but at that point I only showed the photos to Jake and certain friends who I knew would appreciate them. Eventually I started my blog because I loved talking about sex with people at work, and I wanted a bigger outlet for sexual discussion and exploration.

Since I already had sexy and nude photos, I wondered if I should post some on my blog when I started it. I’d always wanted to share my images with a wider audience, but at the same time I was also afraid to. My main fears had to do with family members seeing them or with the possibility of my real identity getting out and the repercussions or lost career opportunities that could come with that. The exhibitionist in me won though, and I began posting photos, although at first only ones that didn’t reveal my face and didn’t show any actual nudity.

After blogging for a while, I realized that I was tired of hiding my face from my photos. I admired women who had the courage to post nude images that showed everything, including their faces, boldly and with pride. I gradually became less concerned with hiding my face.

Posting nude photos as well as sex blogging in general has been an extremely liberating experience for me. Finally, I don’t feel like my body is something I need to hide. I’ve come a long way from my scared and ashamed 13 year old self, and I’m extremely proud of that, especially considering I was raised to believe that my body is obscene and sex is sinful.

I’m proud to say I now know where my g-spot is, how to ejaculate, how to communicate with a partner, how to explore “taboo” aspects of my sexuality, and how to accept other people’s sexuality without judgment. I’m proud to admit I still have a lot to learn.

I’m also glad that I’ve helped other people in their sexual exploration. I get lots of positive feedback from friends and readers of my blog, and I feel good when people tell say they love my photography as well as my writing.

Sure, I like the attention I get from having a sex blog and from posting nude images. I am a bit of an exhibitionist, and I find it thrilling when people tell me they’re attracted to me or that they get turned on reading my stories and looking at my photos. But that’s not the sole reason why I blog or post nude images (though even if it was, I don’t see that as a problem.)

I blog about sex for creative outlet, for exploration, and to facilitate open sexual discussion. I post nudes because I consider photography and the human body art forms, and because I enjoy self-portraiture. When I photograph myself, I explore different aspects of my personality. Sometimes I’m feeling dark, or shy, or weird, or sexy. I find myself in my images.  I choose to share them online because I want people to see the work I’m proud of.

I’m not naïve, and I know the risks of posting nude photos in a society that is still overwhelmingly sex negative, sexist, and body-shaming. I have to deal with consequences, like my mother’s harsh words (yes, she knows and doesn’t approve) and society’s pressure and judgments.

I do worry that I might not be taken seriously as a writer because I post nude images. But I resist the idea that being sexually open about my body and being intelligent are mutually exclusive or that they must inhabit separate spaces. I’m smart, I’m good at writing and photography, and I’m also passionate about expressing my sexuality. I know it would be “safer” for me to not reveal my face, or to have separate blogs for writing and for erotic photography, or to not post nude images at all.  My heart still races every time I post a new image, but that’s part of why I do it.

I post nudes on my blog because they are beautiful and because I finally have the courage to do so. I post nudes because I feel they are mine to post, finally. After years of struggle and inner tension, I have reclaimed my body and my sexuality, finally. No one is pressuring me, I don’t do it to increase blog traffic or to gain followers; I share myself on my blog because I decide to.

My reasons for blogging and sharing nude photos are important to me. My sexual truth is important to me.  I’ve decided to explain it because I’m passionate about it, and so my readers can learn more about my background if they want to. But I didn’t write this piece because I think I need to justify what I do. I don’t need to explain why I share my sexuality or post nude photos, but I do think it’s important to reflect on it.

My sexuality is mine to share with whomever I want to, in any form that I want to. It isn’t something society or religion or my family or any partner can control or define, it’s mine.

My body is mine. My sexuality is mine.

Self Portrait: Free

CatalystCon Part 2: Erotic Sensation, Feminist Porn, the “Ass Panel,” and More

Introduction to The Anatomy of Erotic Sensation (#cconerotic)

Robert Lawrence & Carol Queen 

cconerotictweet

One of the themes that kept coming up during each panel I attended at Catalyst was that I need to keep learning more. During Introduction to The Anatomy of Erotic Sensation, Robert Lawrence and Carol Queen talked about the many forms of touch, and I realized that I don’t actually know a lot about the biology behind sensations. Did you know that when you talk about a body part (sexual or not), that it actually gets warmer? Or that vibration & cold are similar sensations, and that if you hold either for too long, they cause numbness? How about the terms proprioception or interoception? In general, the study of sexual sensation is new and not very expansive. We still don’t know much. But as Carol Queen said, we can each become an expert of our own experience through exploration, and as Robert Lawrence suggested, we can learn and do our homework (take a biology or chemistry class, or read about Receptor Theory, Field Theory, Summation, etc.)

The Politics of Producing Pleasure: Feminist Porn in Industry and Academe (#cconfemporn)

Tristan Toarmino, Constance Penley, April Flores, Sinnamon Love, Danny Wylde, and Jane Ward

cconfemporntweet

The Politics of Producing Pleasure: Feminist Porn in Industry and Academe was incredibly thought provoking and interesting. I especially appreciated it when Jane Ward admitted that she watches sexist porn, but does so in feminist ways (for example, she enjoys bukkake porn, but pictures herself as one of the men ejaculation on the kneeling woman), and that viewing stigmatized porn allows her to move into her darkest and most frightening places. I identified with this because I enjoy reading about/watching dark sex scenes (for example gang-bang/rape fantasies), and although it can be hard to admit that I like it, I think it’s important to be honest about what turns us on, even if it’s “transgressive” and to examine why we enjoy it.

The “Ass Panel”: The Ins and Out of Anal Pleasure (#cconass)

Ruby Ryder, CT Schenk, Tom Stewart, Charlie Glickman

cconasstweet

The ass panel was the fullest (pun-intended) panel at Catalyst. The discussion covered both the physical and emotional benefits of exploring prostate/anal play as well as the stigmas associated with it and how we can work to break through them. I loved Charlie Glickman’s answer to the initial question: what should we tell men about why they should explore erotic anal stimulation?—because it feels good. Some people can experience hours and hours of prostate pleasure, so why not give it a try? Ruby Ryder also talked about the emotional benefits of reversing the typical gender roles through pegging, and the greater understanding, compassion, and intimacy it creates. One of my favorite moments in the panel was when CT Schenk from Aneros admitted that after customers kept asking him if he’d tried their products (he hadn’t) he realized that he too had misconceptions about prostate pleasure, and that he’s moved past them.

Tristan Taormino’s Sex Eduactor Bootcamps I&II (#cconbootcamp)

cconbootcamptweet

Before the trip, a few people asked me what I was going to learn in Tristan Taormino’s Bootcamp classes, and my honest answer was, “I don’t really know, but I do know that whatever Tristan has to say is probably worth it!” And I can now say it definitely was. Her courses covered everything from education and skills to marketing, branding, and networking, and although 6 hours’ worth of practical business advice would normally leave me half-asleep, Tristan made it engaging, inspiring, and at times, hilarious!  If you’re considering her classes in the future, I highly recommend them.

Building a Career Talking About Sex  (#cconcareer)

Lauren Marie Fleming (aka Queerie Bradshaw)

cconcareertweet

During Building a Career Talking About Sex, Lauren Marie Fleming gave out advice on how to actually make money while taking into account all of the particular challenges that people in the sex-industry face. I learned a lot in her panel, such as how to create a pricing scale, how to boost my credibility (read, pod-casts, watch more porn!), how to market myself depending on the situation, and more. Though most of it was business oriented, the most inspiring part of the session for me was when Lauren talked about how she is currently making sacrifices to focus on her writing truth right now: personal grief and how it has affected her.

The 5 Biggest Myths About Sex and Aging (#cconage)

Joan Price

cconagetweet

The panel that moved me the most during Catalyst was The 5 Biggest Myths About Sex and Aging (#cconage) with Joan Price. I won’t go into it in depth here since I am writing a separate piece about how it affected me, but to summarize it was incredibly informative, touching, and inspiring!

Don’t forget to check out CatalystCon Part 1 (Dildos, dildos, dildos) if you haven’t already!

Dildology and Safe Sex Toys

During the three years I worked at a sex toy store, I did my best to help customers pick out body safe products, but it wasn’t easy. Some customers stared at the rows and rows of toys and asked me, “Why are there so many choices? How many styles of vibrators could you possibly need?” I told them that it’s not just the design that’s important in a sex toy, it’s the material(s). I explained the difference between porous and non-porous toys, stressing the importance of choosing something like silicone or glass for safe, hygienic use. Often they would nod at me attentively (although some could care less), and then inquire, “Well which ones are good then?”

This question was harder for me to answer. I usually emphasized Lelos, since they were some of the few toys we sold that I felt confident were actually pure silicone. But not everyone can afford a Lelo, and so I showed them the alternatives, which I was less sure about. I pointed out the ones that I had handled before that felt like silicone and didn’t have a rubbery smell. But we had so many toys, and whether or not they actually seemed to be pure silicone didn’t only vary by manufacturer or brand, they varied within manufacturers and brands as well.

One day I helped a woman who wanted a rabbit, and after I explained the importance of silicone, she said of course she wanted a silicone rabbit then because who wants a toy you can’t properly clean and sterilize? The nicer Lelo and Jopen options seemed a bit expensive to her at first, so I pulled the only other “silicone” rabbit off of the wall, some Cal Exotics one with beads, and when I opened the box, it smelled like chemicals. I didn’t work on commission and would never lie about a product, so I told her that I doubted it was actually silicone.

“But the box says it is, right?” She looked horrified when I told her that sex toys aren’t regulated, so there’s no way of knowing for sure, and that silicone shouldn’t have a funky smell.

To make things worse, the smelly Cal Exotics “silicone” rabbit wasn’t cheap either. Eventually she decided on the Lelo Ina, after admitting she’d been considering splurging on it anyways.

Unfortunately, this story didn’t always have such a happy ending. Although I was always honest and open about sex toy materials, I sold lots of questionable toys, and to my own disgust jelly toys that were even labeled as such. While I honestly don’t understand why someone would buy one even after I warned them that it could leak phthalates and chemicals into their body, ultimately it was their choice. They knew what they were buying, they were warned, and they still bought it.

While obviously the fact that companies even sell dangerous products is a huge problem, the problem gets even stickier when toys that are made of unsafe or porous materials are labeled as safe or pure silicone. Do you know what your sex toys are made of?  You may think you own a silicone toy, but you can’t really be sure, since there is absolutely no regulation on the listing of materials on sex toy packaging. Some companies like Tantus and Lelo have strong reputations for being trustworthy when it comes to materials and business practices, but the industry is still unregulated.

This dilemma is dangerous for many reasons.

The first and perhaps the most severe is in the case of people who are allergic to latex, rubber, or some of the chemicals that could possibly be in a sex toy. It’s like this: say you’re allergic to dairy, and you buy a muffin mix labeled as dairy free, when it actually isn’t. You could become horribly sick. The same goes for sex toys. If you’re highly allergic to latex and you buy a toy labeled as a silicone that actually contains latex, you could have a serious allergic reaction.

But I don’t have a latex allergy, you may think, so why should I care? Because anyone who uses  jelly or other unsafe sex toy materials can experience headaches, pain, burning, swelling, and even possibly chemical poisoning from phthalates as well as other irritating chemicals. Even if you aren’t very sensitive and show no signs of irritation, studies still show that exposure to phthalates can damage organs and possibly even cause cancer.

It is also vital to know if your toy is truly non-porous silicone if you want to safely share a toy with multiple partners. If you purchase a toy labeled as silicone that actually isn’t, you may think you can sterilize it, but you really can’t, and you could in fact spread bodily fluids or infections to partners.

Lastly, mislabeling toys isn’t only unethical because it could be hazardous to your health, it’s false advertisement. Would you want to pay gold prices for something that’s really copper? There is a huge difference in quality between silicone and rubber or silicone rubber mixes. Not only is silicone safer and more hygienic, it is also more durable and can last a very long time if taken care of properly. Rubber toys, on the other hand, can easily bend, break, change colors, and even melt into something resembling a blob from outer space.

Sex bloggers and educators have long known about safe materials and the misleading labels on sex toys, and many have tried using flame tests on toys to determine their actual composition. But it has recently come to light that flame tests aren’t always accurate. So the only way to know for sure what a toy is made of it to send it off to a lab to be scientifically tested. But this is expensive, and if we want an accurate database of verified safe sex toys and brands, we have to rally together.

This is where Dildology comes in. Started by Crista Anne, XVO, and Dangerous Lilly, Dildology is a new non-profit organization that will purchase sex toys at random from retailers, send them to a lab to be tested, and share and promote the results on their page and Wiki.

dildology-logo

 

You may wonder why Dildology has decided to take things into their own hands, instead of pushing for government regulation. Here’s why, in Dangerous Lilly’s words:

“We can cry out for the industry to be regulated by our government, but really what will that get us? A higher priced dildo. A “luxury sex toy” that costs double what they do now, and their current costs are already prohibitive to many. Sex toys that take twice as long in development resulting in fewer, quality new sex toys being introduced to the market every year. When you bring the FDA to the party, you get mountains of paperwork, costly fees and annual 3-4 week-long audits to retain your FDA classifications. The better solution just might be to let the industry self-regulate, but with a little help from a neutral party.”

So, now that you’re all riled up, as I hope you are, here’s what you can do to help start a revolutionary change in the sex toy industry:

~Please donate to Dildology. (If you’re wondering if I’ve donated, yes, my broke ass has somehow shelled out $50, and I can’t wait to proudly wear my Dildology t-shirt when they reach their goal.) In addition to the warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing you helped changed the word one sex toy verification at a time, there are also various incentives for donating such as coupon codes and Dildology merchandise.

~Read the other blog carnival posts for more information about the necessity and potential of the organization.

~Spread the word about them on Twitter and Facebook, and vote for them on Offbeatr.

Dildology stands on their own, unaffiliated and unbiased. Dilgology won’t accept advertising money or toys straight from manufacturers to prevent conflicts of interests and to ensure accurate results. The majority of donations will go towards product testing, with the rest going to fundraising merchandise and incentives, and equipment for experiments and the development of educational resources.

I hope that someday soon, the sex toy industry will undergo a huge positive change,  and people will be able to confidently purchase safe sex toys, thanks to Dildology and quality demanding consumers. Let’s do this people! 🙂

 

To shave or not to shave?

BushPhoto of me by Steve DeMent Photography

Lately, I am all about bushes. I like the way mine looks, I like how they look on others, and I like the idea of them in general. Sexually, I love the way it captures my scent, and I enjoy having it played with and tugged on. I also like that it’s lower maintenance, and I often twirl it around absentmindedly, as if it were a beard. It makes me feel sexual, feminine, wild, natural, and free.

I must admit though, that my love of bushes is only a recent development. Up until last year, I was completely bare ever since I was 16, with the exception of a few days of stubble or letting it grow long enough to wax it all off. I never even thought to try a bush until Jake suggested that I grow one out to see how it looks. Although it felt a little weird at first, I liked the way it looked, if anything because it was so different, but also for the reasons I mentioned above. And now that a bush or at least some sort of style of hair has been my norm for about a year, I’ve been thinking a lot about my previous (mostly negative) attitudes toward pubic hair and why I always felt the need to shave before.

Some of the main theories explaining the popularity of going bare and brazilian waxing in the US are porn and Playboy, bathing suits and bikinis, wanting a “clean” look, an obsession with  trying to look young, or pressure from men who supposedly have little girl fetishes.

While I can see how porn can cause pressure to look a certain way, in my case it wasn’t a factor in my decision to start shaving, since at that time I didn’t watch porn or read adult magazines.  My early shaving days began with not wanting anything to show in a bathing suit, and I started with just my bikini line. For awhile this was enough, until I had my first steamy, semi-sexual make-out session with my boyfriend. We didn’t actually “go very far,” but when his hands roamed down over my panties, I remember thinking that I didn’t want him to see my hair, and I shaved it all off shortly after.

As far as the pressure to look young, that didn’t affect my early attitudes either, as I always wanted to look older, not younger, and I associated waxing with being mature. However, I did associate hairlessness with femininity starting at a very early age. I started shaving my armpits as soon as I started getting hair there in 4th grade because my girlfriend Jessica did, and she was one of those girls who was so outgoing, sure of herself, and “cool,” Shortly after, I began shaving my legs in 5th grade, after watching my babysitter’s teenage daughter sitting by the TV with a bowl of water, a razor, and some shaving cream. Looking back, starting to shave at age 9 or 10 seems very young (and most of my friends didn’t shave yet at the time), but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the norm now, as young girls seem to look more and more “mature” at a young age nowadays.

Once I began removing my pubic hair in High School, the idea that shaving or waxing, not bushes, was the way to look sexy was reinforced by my friends, as well as my cool college student nanny, who told me about how she paid a lot and went to many sessions to go get laser hair removal. She was one of my biggest role models at the time, and I never really thought to question why hair was something women needed to remove so badly; it all just seemed normal and the thing to do. I also remember seeing my Mom’s huge, untamed bush, and thinking that it was weird, and that she must not care about looking “sexy.” We didn’t really discuss sexuality openly since I was raised Catholic, so I never thought to ask her about pubic hair, what was normal or not, or anything like that.

In my case, going bare was a result of a mix of things but mainly the idea that shaving was feminine and sexy and the influence from friends or women I looked up to. I can only imagine the pressure for young girls in today’s society to shave, since now they have the added ease of access to porn, as well as the examples of pop culture, like Sex and the City and celebrities who promote Brazilian waxing. Although I think whether or not you shave should be up to you, I don’t think this pressure to look a certain way or to feel the need to shave to be sexy is healthy or natural. Another big issue is pressure solely from partners, which isn’t positive or healthy either if it’s not what you want.

So, what is the solution then? I know for me and many others it’s talking and thinking critically about society’s beauty standards, such as pressure to shave, as well as celebrating pubic hair by growing bushes and showing them off proudly in erotic photos. There has also been a resurgence of bushes and pubic styles in some porn as well as in fetish scenes, and many people think bushes are cool and “retro” looking now. I think this new variety and deviation from the standard is awesome, and I wonder if having a bush may even soon be the norm again. Trends come and go though, and I hope that women will take away the idea of self acceptance and choosing whatever is comfortable for them from this movement, rather than the idea of growing a bush just to be cool, to be different, or because someone on TV or their favorite porn start did it.

For others though, the answer to battling societal pressure to shave is to judge and vilify shaving and women who do it. I’ve heard a lot of comments that feminists don’t wax (or shouldn’t), that women only shave to satisfy their partner’s unhealthy obsession with looking pre-pubescent, and that shaving it all is gross and unnatural. I often hear bush comments at Bedpost Confessions, such as “I don’t shave because I don’t feel the need to look like a 12 year old girl.” This whole attitude really bothers me.

I understand that many women feel pressure to remove hair and that it may be “feminist” to have a bush instead, but pushing women to look any certain way isn’t helping, it’s just doing the same thing that patriarchal society is: telling people what they should or shouldn’t do to their bodies. It’s also presumptuous to judge people by their grooming habits and assume they’re doing it for certain reasons like to satisfy partners or to look like porn stars. Everyone has different sexual preferences, and if you think going bare is gross because it looks child-like, that’s fine, but you shouldn’t assume that everyone who shaves does it for that reason, and there’s no need for judging, condescending comments towards others’ personal choices.

For example, what about men who shave? Are they doing it because of societal, patriarchal pressure? Maybe some are, but many people do it because they like the clean, smooth feel and aesthetic. It is important to point out that shaving isn’t actually “cleaner” and can cause ingrown hair, infections, and may even make you more vulnerable to STIs, but still, my point is that many people do it for themselves, not to satisfy a partner or look like a porn star, and you should do whatever feels comfortable for you. Of course I do think it’s imperative to think critically about your own attitudes though and how they may be influenced by society, but ultimately it’s your personal decision and preference.

As free as I feel to have a huge, wild bush now, I will probably shave it all off again at some point. I like the way my vulva looks and feels in all sorts of ways now, with a bush, with a strip, bare, whatever; it’s just another hairstyle. And if I do shave it all off again, it’s definitely not going to be because my boyfriend is pressuring me to do so or to look young, it will be because I want to.

The most crucial thing to me in the topic of pubic hair (as well as other sexual and personal choices) is acceptance of diversity. I think it’s awesome to celebrate bushes and natural styles, but more importantly I think everyone should celebrate whatever option they chose and the personal power to do so. Open discussion of sexuality and societal pressure is critical, especially among teens and young adults, but I think we should stress that any choice is fine, not that you shouldn’t shave because it’s just subscribing to the norm, or that you should because it’s “sexier” or better.

Personally, I think all styles can be sexy, and I like this comment that Jake said when I asked him about his preference: “I don’t care if there’s hair or not, I’m just excited to see a vulva!”

TMI Tuesday: Fantasy Anyone?

Spoiler Alert: If you watch American Horror Story or Dexter and haven’t seen episodes from the latest seasons, you may want to skip this post or at least question #3.

1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?

I’m sure it could, if someone involved isn’t comfortable with the fantasy or how it’s played out, but I think that can be avoided with open and honest communication before, during, and after acting out the fantasy. For me, fantasies are a fun and important way to keep things sexy and exciting.

2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?

Sure, why not? It all depends on how the people involved feel about it. I can see why some people would rather stick to role play and why others would rather have the real thing, and personally I’m open to both.

3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasize about?

Lately I’ve been fantasizing a lot about dark characters, specifically Kit/Tate from American Horror Story and Dexter Morgan. The Kit and Grace sex scene in Asylum drove me absolutely crazy.  I love the idea of lusting after someone dark, and the danger involved in not knowing if they are a brutal killer or not. I also love scenes in movies/TV shows when the lovers accept each other no matter what their partner has done, and when Grace says, “I don’t care what you are,” right before they fuck…so hot! In Dexter’s case, when Hannah has sex with him right after he was going to kill her? Again, fucking hot! Tate’s character and appeal is more complicated, but I think it boils down to the fact that I think the idea of someone who is so evil yet still capable of love is a turn on as well. Oh yea, and Evan Peters completely covered in latex? That may have something to do with it…

4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse, are there some things that are ‘off limits’ for a fantasy e.g. incest fantasies, age play, rape fantasies. Why/ why not?

No, not really. I think it’s fine to fantasize about whatever you want, especially because you can’t really control your thoughts/fantasies. You can control actions though, and I certainly have limits as far as what I’ll actually do.

5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasized about doing?

Rape fantasies are probably some of the most taboo ones that I have. Also, fucking serial killers/dangerous men/dead people(as in ghosts, not corpses)/aliens/ beasts/the “devil,” to name a few…

6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don’t ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do you think you will never act it out?

I can’t think of a fantasy I have that I wouldn’t even think of acting out at the moment.

7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?

Not that I can recall.

8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?

I’ve had some situations when I’ve tried to act out a fantasy, and it didn’t happen exactly how I wanted, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying anything has failed miserably.

Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.

Honestly I have a lot of different fantasies, and I’m not sure which is my most cherished. I definitely have more fantasies that I haven’t lived out yet than ones that I have, but that’s mostly because I’m constantly coming up with new ones…

Get Back in Line

Stretched out before me are naked women on all fours, asses in the air, heads down, in a line. I don’t know who they are or where they came from, nor do I care. All I know is that I like the view, a landscape of curving fleshy hills, hips shoved together, open, willing holes, and perched feet. Jake, towering like a God with his long curly hair and toned muscles, stands motionless nearby, awaiting my commands.

I approach a curvy bottom, attracted to her pink, dangling lips, and the mess of long, dark brown hair that covers her face near the ground like a thick curtain.

“Give her pretty little pussy 3 licks,” I say, pointing.

Her thighs twitch as he approaches, and he moves his tongue slowly, taking his time.  When he’s done, she stays completely still, and so does he.

“Now, beg him to fuck you,” I say, as I run my hand between her cheeks. I move to Jake, and continue, “And you, spank her until you really believe that she wants it.”

Her voice rises like smoke from below, and starts as a soft whisper, “Please, fuck me.” The thud from Jake’s palm echoes her words, and she begins to ask louder, “Please, please, fuck me.”

“Harder!” I order, as his hand strikes each side, his hits gradually escalating in intensity.

It’s not long before her gorgeous, supple ass is bright pink, her legs are quivering, and she’s screaming, pleading, crying for his cock. I wait until I see moisture trickling down her legs.

“Now, fuck her.”

I growl as his hardness parts her swollen folds, and they both grunt in unison as his hips slap against her flushed skin.

“Now, stop,” I say after only a few moments, knowing she needs much more, knowing she’s aching to be filled and fulfilled.

“Get up and come fuck me like a good little slut,” I say, and like an eager puppy she kneels in front of me, wasting no time before she’s licking and pushing fingers into me like she’s searching for a much needed treat. I haven’t seen her face until now, and I admire her bright green eyes when she glances up to see how I’m responding as her mouth is buried. She wiggles her ass, and I pet it softly, sinking into the feelings of her hot lips, her slippery tongue, and her greedy fingers.

“Who wants to get fucked next?” I gasp loudly, trying to retain control as my legs shake and my breathing sputters.

A chorus of desperate voices cries out, “Me, please, me!”

“Start with her,” I say, pointing to the nearest woman, “and then keep going down the row, all of them.”

I watch as Jake moves from one to the next, and with each gasp, each quiver as the hot head of his cock enters, I fall deeper into my own pleasure. Women at the end of the line grow impatient, shaking and dripping, begging for him to hurry so they can have a turn.

I close my eyes and enjoy the sounds, the heavy breathing, the moaning, the screams of ecstasy. My woman’s tongue moves faster, and she pushes her wet cunt onto my leg, and groans as her now plump clit rubs against my bare skin. My pussy grips her skilled fingers, and suddenly I feel my urgent need.

“Do you want me to come on you?” I ask her, already knowing her answer.

“Yes, please,” she replies instantly. “Come on my face, on my breasts, in my mouth,” she says as she pulls her lips off, my juices smeared all over her beautiful cheeks, her fingers still pulling and rubbing me frantically.

I scream and push her out, and she tilts her head back, mouth open, as my wetness showers her. When I’m done, she licks the remaining liquid from my thighs, her hands gripping my legs, her hair drenched. I grab her by the chin roughly, pulling her face up until she’s close, gazing into my eyes.

“Do you want to get back in line now my dear; do you want that hard cock inside of you?”

“Yes, oh please god yes,” she says, touching herself at the thought. I give her the go ahead and she crouches at the end of the row, sticking her ass up to match all of the others.

Jake’s still making his way down the line like I told him, and the ones who have already been fucked lay collapsed in a heap, arms and legs tangled. I walk slowly toward them, and they gaze up at me attentively. I rub one of my bare feet along a curvy blonde woman’s chest, and she swallows one of my toes, sucking gently. They all stare at me, waiting.

“Who wants another turn?” I ask to no one in particular.

“Me!” they all answer anxiously.

“You’ll have to work for it,” I tease, and they surround me, pleading with their bodies, every limb busy trying to compete for my attention. I sigh as someone’s fingers press inside, and a mouth circles my clit, teeth biting my nipples, tongues in both ears, feet covered by hot, damp lips and hands caressing every morsel of my skin.

After coming again and again, after I’ve covered them all with my sweat and come and sex, I send them back to the line, where Jake’s still busy. I take a break to give more orders, like fuck her mouth, now take her ass, now grip her neck, move to the next, now finger the pussy on each side of you as you thrust, now rub your cock between her breasts.

I touch myself as I watch, and after they’ve all been fucked, I ask, “Now, who wants his come?”

They all shout a different answer:

“Please, me!”

“No, on my big tits!”

“On my wet cunt”

“Please, on my pretty face”

“Me, on my ass”

“Inside my ass!”

“Please, in my mouth!”

They crowd around him, gaping holes, perked nipples, thrashing limbs, fighting, entwined together like a net.

I see the woman, my favorite, who so willingly drank my come like a delicacy, and I lean over and rub her head, nodding at Jake towards her. She opens her mouth again, eyes wide as he spurts into her parted lips.

When he’s done, he’s still hard, his cock trembling.

“Get back in line,” I demand, and they quickly form a new row, sticking their asses as high as possible, scrambling to get a spot close to where I stand.

I look at Jake and smile. He can’t make a move without my word, his dick is mine. He raises his eyebrows ever so slightly, questioning.

“Yes,” I answer out loud, rubbing myself roughly, “again!”