“I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald,
For me, the Spareparts Joque is a story of firsts. It was my first harness. It was my first time experimenting with having a cock. It was the harness I wore the first time my partner and I tried pegging. The first time I had strap-on sex with a girl I wore Joque, with Tie-Bright Mustang, of course.
And I’m glad Joque was my first–it’s everything I’m looking for in a harness–it’s comfortable, versatile, easy to use, and sexy.
The Joque is easy to put on–it’s as simple as stepping into it, inserting a dildo into the o-ring, and then adjusting the belt and leg straps. Within minutes of its arrival, I had Adam through it and pranced around my apartment, enjoying the new feeling of having a cock. I’ve since worn it many times, and the best thing about it is how quickly and effortlessly I can get it on, so I can go from I want you to fuck me to thrusting action in no time.
Once it’s on, it’s super comfortable. When I’m wearing a strap-on, I don’t want to think about the harness, I just want to think about my partner and my cock, and the Joque allows me to do just that. It also has two pockets on the inside lining for bullet vibrators (that’s perfect for my beloved Tango), one above and one below the o-ring, but I only use one (the lower one because it hits my clit better). I’d like to get another and try using two at once.
Another quality that’s really important for me in a harness is how easy it is to clean–and the Joque is machine washable, which I love. If I want to wash it right away I’ll hand wash it, but otherwise I just add it in to wash with my laundry.
In the Joque’s product description it claims to be “the only harness you’ll every need” and I definitely agree. The only other reason I’d get more harnesses would be solely for variation in photos/to try some more femme styles, but the Joque is everything I need function wise.
2016 was kind of a shit show, and I didn’t try as many new toys as I’d like, but here’s to hoping this year is better–let’s start with a list of the top 7 toys I’m dying to try in 2017!
1. B.J. Dildo–Some of you may know of or remember Mr. Man, a dildo with a hole through the shaft that creates clit suction during a dildo blow job. It’s been discontinued for years now, but I was lucky enough to try Epiphora‘s last year, and it was marvelous. I loved it so much that I had my partner try to recreate it by drilling a hole into one of my less used dildos, but sadly it didn’t pan out. But alas, there’s a new B.J. Dildo now! And it comes in a lovely green! Someone just buy me one and attach it to my clit now, please and thanks.
2. Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable–The fact that I don’t have one of these yet is a travesty. I am one of the BIGGEST Hitachi fans out there, and I think the only reason I don’t have one yet is because I’m kinda old school, and the ancient plug-in Hitachi is still my bae. But I would like to get with the times and be able to share the Hitachi’s glory with others (the rechargeable has a silicone head), or bring it camping (I don’t really camp but if I ever do Hitachi will definitely need to come), and just use the new one’s lower settings (or would I even? who knows.) Plus my Hitachi is getting kind of lonely and could use some company.
3. Hole Punch Rad-ish— I’ve been wanting to try something from Hole Punch for a while now, and I want it to be the rad-ish because I’m vegan af and want to collect all of the veggie sex toys (and because Piph said the Plugs Bunny is too long, and yea, it looks too long.) Is it ridiculous if I say my butt is hungry for the rad-ish?
4. Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble–I honestly don’t know if I could even handle this dildo but damn I want to try, especially after how much Kate and other friends have raved about it. And I need more glass in my collection! And more big toys so I can work my way up and hopefully be able to fit the huge dildo I made last year in my vagina someday.
5. L’Amourose Prism V— I was sent the similar Prism VII last year, and it’s rumbly and gorgeous, but I want the version without the clitoral arm and also want to compare the two. Plus I just want more L’Amourose toys because they’re amazing.
6. Leyland Rainbow Glitter Riding Crop–Ever since I saw Artemisia’s review (and photos, damn just go look now for eyegasms), I’ve wanted this crop. It’s synthetic/vegan friendly and it’s so damn pretty. And I used to have a crop years ago that I loved which got ruined and want to replace it. Plus rainbow sparkles!
7. Split Peaches Unicorn Horn— It’s a rainbow unicorn horn dildo. Need I say more?
Which toys are you dying to try in 2017? Let me know in the comments!
“Don’t say her name.”
I’m tied tight, spread eagle on hard marble. The thick metal binding my wrists and ankles is cold, contrasting with my flushed skin. Sweat drips down my neck like blood. He notices. He does that thing with his lips.
I try to keep my cool. I’m in control, right? If anyone walked in on us, they would certainly think otherwise.
“You miss her, don’t you?” I ask.
He growls, and one black nail-polished finger traces my cheek.
“No, I don’t,” he whispers, in the accent that makes my cunt clench and my blood race.
It’s like he’s ignoring the rest of my (naked) body. He knows my cheek it about the last place I want him to touch right now. He grins, and I feel like he can read my thoughts.
“Yes you do,” I tease. “I bet you’ll think of her tight, sweet pussy when you fuck me.”
His teeth are sharp, but so are my words.
“Shut up!” he says, gripping my chin firmly.
He tilts my head up. I’m sure he can smell how wet I am by now. He looks down my length, examining my round, luscious breasts, my hardened nipples, my smooth legs, my little bush, my lips.
“You’ll regret taunting me later, pet,” he breathes, rolling his eyes slightly.
His skin is almost glowing in the moonlight. If I wasn’t tied, I’d grip his peroxide blonde hair and jump on top of him. But that’s not the game tonight. Speaking of games, it’s about time I get things moving already. I can’t wait any longer.
“Oh, someone’s touchy,” I say, locking my blue eyes with his, “I guess vampires don’t take rejection well. Especially rejection from the Slayer.”
He doesn’t move, but I can feel him stiffen. I know exactly what to say to make him hurt. To make him want to hurt me.
“So it’s gonna be like that, love?”
He steps away cooly, rumbling in his nearby chest. His strained expression changes to a cruel smile as he holds up the black metal clamps, and before I can even tense up, my nipples are on fire. For a moment I wonder if this was a bad idea, but it’s too late to go back now.
“What would she think about you fucking another cute little blonde girl?”
Before I can say more, he’s on top of me, hovering about an inch above, one hand supporting his weight, the other pulling my panties up towards him. Hard. He moves so fast. The black cotton digs into my labia. He pulls it up tighter, and it hurts like hell. I don’t flinch.
“Aww, you miss her so much, don’t you?” I ask in taunting almost baby talk. “The Slay—.”
“Don’t say her bloody name,” he grunts, ripping my panties off easily.
Who knew cotton could hurt so much?
“Don’t. Say. Her. Name,” he says again as he pulls the chain connecting my breasts, the clamps snapping off, leaving my nipples throbbing.
“Slayer!” I hiss. I bite at his ear, but I can’t reach. His free hand fumbles with his zipper, his other tightly around my neck. He’s no longer hovering. I’m caught beneath his weight, his icy skin pressed against my warmth. I can barely breathe, and I’m tingling all over.
His huge, hard cock tells me he loves my teasing, even if he claims otherwise. We lock eyes again, and he rubs his cheek against mine softly, almost sweetly. But I don’t want him sweet, not tonight.
“Buffy” I whisper…
I’m silenced by his nearly lethal grip, by his cold cock parting my warm, wet lips.
“You’ll regret that,” he growls, thrusting hard.
I almost believe him.
For more Spike fan fic, check out Let’s Play a Game!
Wow, my blog is now a half a decade old, y’all! To celebrate, I’m giving away 3 rad prizes from my Etsy shop:
You can enter for any/all of the prizes, but you can only win one.
I’m also offering 25% off everything in my Etsy shop (including sets) with code 5YEARS. I’m not currently making more coasters or magnets, so if there’s something you want, get it before it’s gone!
The giveaway and sale end October 10th at midnight CST–good luck everyone!
And now for the winners…
The Squirt necklace goes to Backwoods Bedroom!
Thanks to everyone who entered and shared the giveaway!
Unfortunately many latex condoms and barriers are not vegan friendly because they are made using casein (a milk protein). Lambskin condoms are also definitely not vegan as they are made with sheep intestines. Thankfully though there are quite a few vegan friendly condoms that don’t contain any animal ingredients. Condoms can also be converted to dental dams, which is handy because dams aren’t as widely available, and there aren’t any certified vegan flavorless/scentless dam options (that I know of).
Vegan Latex Condoms & Dams
Glyde offers vegan fair trade latex condoms, flavored condoms, and flavored dental dams. They also have an outreach program and sponsor Woodhull! Glyde products are available from Early to Bed, Smitten Kitten, Good Vibes, or directly from their site.
Sir Richards are vegan certified condoms with a Buy One Give One program (for every condom bought, they donate one to a community in need.) I found some at my local vegan shop, and they’re available from Early to Bed and SheBop as well some mainstream retailers or directly from their site.
Condomi is also UK company that makes vegan condoms.
RFSU are latex condoms made in Sweden–I see them listed as vegan on retailers sites, but I couldn’t find any information from them directly about being vegan or certified.
Einhorn is a German company that makes vegan, fair trade, sustainable condoms. I wish I could order some because they’re unicorn themed and have fun packaging, but they’re only available in Germany and Austria.
Non-Latex Condoms, Dams, & Gloves
I’m not allergic to latex, but I used to think I had a latex sensitivity because latex condoms often mildly irritated me. Now that I’ve switched to vegan latex condoms, I haven’t had any issues, so in my case it might have been something in standard latex condoms. I’m not a doctor though and obviously avoid latex if you think you’re allergic.
As far as I know, non-latex barrier options such as nitrile and polyisoprene are formulated as vegan, but unfortunately there aren’t any certified/advertised vegan options (if you know of any, please let me know!), and the companies that make these may test on animals.
Hot Dams are polyurethane, flavorless dental dams. The only shop I’ve found them at is SheBop.
Shops with vegan barrier options
Vegan condoms in Austin
If you’re looking for vegan condoms in Austin, I’ve found them at the following places:
Rabbit Food Grocery– Sustain, L Condoms
Wheatsville Co-op (South Lamar)- Sustain, Kimono
Whole Foods (Lamar)- Sustain, L Condoms
I emailed and verified that SKYN does not contain casein. ↩
Pictured: Lilly holding Lunabelle‘s Crazy Corncob dildo while we admired her sex toy collection at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last year. I had so much fun bonding with my peeps (and doing impromptu naked photoshoots, like you do.) Sadly I won’t be able to make it this year, but I’ll be there with the #blogsquad in spirit.
Happy Toy Tuesday y’all!