Welcome to our home. Dildo anyone?
Dildo photoshoots are fun. 🙂
Welcome to our home. Dildo anyone?
Dildo photoshoots are fun. 🙂
Shilo out at the beach in Cali!
This image didn’t make the cut for my review photos, but I figured I should still share it, because who doesn’t love photos of sex toys & cats?! The Splash is an awesome silicone dildo from Tantus by the way–it was the runner up for the best dildo I tried in 2014! It’s on sale right now, get it for $51.13 with code PENNY at checkout!
While I might not get to try all of these, I’d like to try at least half of them–wish me luck! Also, I’m constantly lusting after new toys–to see them all, check out my wishlist on Pinterest! Or, if you’re feeling super generous, you can buy me something anonymously through my Lovehoney wishlist!
1. Neon Wand+Power Tripper– I can’t shut up about how much I want the Neon Wand. When I visited my best friend in LA, we played with one in three different sex shops. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a device that discharges static electricity, which depending on the intensity you set it to, can range from feeling like a warm tingle to a focused sting. When paired with the Power Tripper, it basically turns you into a human-e-stim (electrical stimulation) device, so that when you touch someone, you send sparks and tingles to their skin. Um. NEED.
2. L’Amourose Rosa Rouge– Ever since I read Dangerous Lilly’s rave review, I’ve been dying to get my hands on the Rosa Rogue, a waterproof rechargeable vibrator with powerful vibration that also warms up! Lilly is super picky about vibes, so if she loves it, I’m pretty sure I will too!
Update 2/21–I got it, and it rocks!!
3. NobEssence Seduction– The fact that I don’t have a Seduction yet is a travesty. Epiphora has deemed it part of “the trifecta” of basically perfect, miraculous g-spotting dildos, along with the Pure Wand & Comet Wand (my 2 fave dildos!)…so obviously I need one in my vagina, like yesterday. Also, it’s made of gorgeous sealed wood, and I need something to match my Romp in photos!
4. New York Toy Collective Shilo (Blue & Yellow)- I felt the Shilo when I was at the Pleasure Chest in LA last year, and its silicone was so squishy and fabulous. And just look at that juicy blue and yellow combo!
Update 6/21: I tried it at Dildo Holiday & now I want one even more!
5. Fucking Sculptures G -Spoon (Medium)- I’ve lusted after FS dildos ever since they opened up shop, with their bad ass to the point name–FUCKING Sculptures–and their breathtaking glass designs…but it was Aerie’s review that really peaked my interest. In the review, Aerie says the G-Spoon helped them find their A-spot…an erogenous zone I’m not really familiar with. I love making new discoveries about my body, so I must try one, stat!
6. Stronic Eins– This is another toy that I’m a bit ashamed to admit I don’t have yet. It uses magics (ok, magnets) that make the toy thrust itself back and forth! Piph loves it, and I’d really like to finally review one this year.
7. MyStim Tickling Truman– The Tickling Truman is a vibrator that also has has e-stim, sort of like a neon wand for your vag! I need to know what the tingling sensations feel like!
8. Njoy Eleven– The Njoy Eleven strikes equal parts fear and excitement in my vag…a 2″ girth and 2.75 lbs of stainless steel?! Can I do it?! I think I can! I have faith in the power of my vag.
9. Crave Vesper– It’s a vibrator that’s also a necklace! Y’all know I would so wear it everywhere. I’ve also never tried a Crave toy and want to change that.
10. Vixen Creations Randy– I’m addicted to Vixen’s squishy, realistic dual density VixSkin silicone and want to collect all of their dildos. Randy is at the top of my list though because it’s the girthiest one they make…it’s a beast that I want to conquer!
11. Crystal Delights Pony Tail Plug– I want to be a pony! Look at those gorgeous pastels! Please goddess of dildos let it happen!
12. Gorge Ohwell Silencing Slider Cheeseburger Gag– The fact that this exists make me so fucking happy. A cheeseburger ball gag?! Made of 100% silicone? Please, put it in my mouth now! Update 12/8/16–Not into this anymore now that I’m vegan…time for someone to make a vegan version please with a veggie burger & a faux leather strap! 🙂
13. Tantus Cush– I’ve heard great things about the Cush from Epiphora & Aerie, and I’m always down for more Tantus, so I’d love to try the Cush. And I don’t usually like pink toys…but this one looks like cotton candy, and I want to eat it. And use it. And photograph it with cotton candy. Please and thank you.
15. BS Capsula Plug- I’m always down for more butt toys, and I’d love to try this unique pill shaped butt plug from the makers of the sock dildo!
What toys are y’all excited about trying in 2015? Did I miss any good ones? Please let me know in the comments!
This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)
LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.
Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!
Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.
Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.
NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!
Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!
Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?
Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.
Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.
Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!
Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!
LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.
LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.
Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.
The Tantus Slow Drive doesn’t look like much. With only 5 insertable inches & a 1.2″ max girth, it’s not lengthy or girthy. But the Slow Drive proves that you shouldn’t judge a dildo by its size–even though it’s smaller than most of my dildos, the Slow Drive’s perfect-for-g-spotting curve makes it stand out in a sea of sex toys.
Made of smooth, glossy, single density Tantus silicone, the Slow Drive is firm, but it still has some flex and give. It features a curved tip for g-spot or prostate stimulation, and it has a flared base, so it can be used in a harness.
Since it’s petite, the Slow Drive is effortless to insert for me. It is its own warm up. With a little bit of lube, its smooth silicone glides easily, and its “come hither” curve immediately gives me the I-need-to-squirt feeling. It feels intense, but since it’s so smooth and small, it’s not too intense. It’s definitely not as extreme as my other favorite g-spot dildos like the Pure Wand or Comet, but that’s ok–it’s just a different type of g-spot stimulation.
It may sound cliché, but the Slow Drive’s name was aptly chosen–it’s one of those toys that’s great for taking your time, warming up, and letting arousal build gradually. I usually start slow, using the curve to “tug” on my g-spot, and eventually move on to faster thrusting, which often ends up with squirting all over my Throe. On the flip side, I can also combine it with a clit vibe and have a blended orgasm fairly quickly if I’m in the mood.
I’ve also tried the Slow Drive anally since it’s manageable for my butt ((and because I wanted to know what it feels like to be fucked in the ass by a pirate)), and I can get some subtle g-spot pressure from it that way. I tried it on Jake (by hand) as well–he’s still fairly new to prostate play, and when I asked him how it was after using it on him, he said it felt nice but not super intense. I haven’t tried it for pegging, but since it’s harness compatible it could be used that way, though I’d probably go with the Slow Drive Long for that, since it’s rather short.
My main complaint about the Slow Drive is that it’s not available in the gorgeous, glowing lime green anymore, though I’m thankful it still comes in the lovely, shimmery silver version I have. Its unique triangular base is also slightly less comfortable for me to hold than classic round bases, but it’s not a big deal. On the plus side, the unique base means you know which way it’s pointing, which is helpful if you’re using it on someone else. Also, the Slow Drive might be too short for some, so if you prefer more length to hold on to, check out the Slow Drive Long.
The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter. It’s now my go-to recommendation for an affordable first g-spot dildo, since it’s perfect for firm but not too extreme g-spot stimulation. Since it’s small, smooth, and doesn’t have a pronounced head, it’s perfect for beginners, those who don’t want a lot of girth, and people who have issues with other toys catching on their pubic bone. And even if you usually prefer girthier toys (like me), you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by how amazing the Slow Drive’s simple yet effective design and magical curve feels.