Day 17 of #FebPhotoFest
Yellow Heart is the name of the wood that my oh so beautiful Romp is made of.
While I might not get to try all of these, I’d like to try at least half of them–wish me luck! Also, I’m constantly lusting after new toys–to see them all, check out my wishlist on Pinterest! Or, if you’re feeling super generous, you can buy me something anonymously through my Lovehoney wishlist!
1. Neon Wand+Power Tripper– I can’t shut up about how much I want the Neon Wand. When I visited my best friend in LA, we played with one in three different sex shops. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a device that discharges static electricity, which depending on the intensity you set it to, can range from feeling like a warm tingle to a focused sting. When paired with the Power Tripper, it basically turns you into a human-e-stim (electrical stimulation) device, so that when you touch someone, you send sparks and tingles to their skin. Um. NEED.
2. L’Amourose Rosa Rouge– Ever since I read Dangerous Lilly’s rave review, I’ve been dying to get my hands on the Rosa Rogue, a waterproof rechargeable vibrator with powerful vibration that also warms up! Lilly is super picky about vibes, so if she loves it, I’m pretty sure I will too!
Update 2/21–I got it, and it rocks!!
3. NobEssence Seduction– The fact that I don’t have a Seduction yet is a travesty. Epiphora has deemed it part of “the trifecta” of basically perfect, miraculous g-spotting dildos, along with the Pure Wand & Comet Wand (my 2 fave dildos!)…so obviously I need one in my vagina, like yesterday. Also, it’s made of gorgeous sealed wood, and I need something to match my Romp in photos!
4. New York Toy Collective Shilo (Blue & Yellow)- I felt the Shilo when I was at the Pleasure Chest in LA last year, and its silicone was so squishy and fabulous. And just look at that juicy blue and yellow combo!
Update 6/21: I tried it at Dildo Holiday & now I want one even more!
5. Fucking Sculptures G -Spoon (Medium)- I’ve lusted after FS dildos ever since they opened up shop, with their bad ass to the point name–FUCKING Sculptures–and their breathtaking glass designs…but it was Aerie’s review that really peaked my interest. In the review, Aerie says the G-Spoon helped them find their A-spot…an erogenous zone I’m not really familiar with. I love making new discoveries about my body, so I must try one, stat!
6. Stronic Eins– This is another toy that I’m a bit ashamed to admit I don’t have yet. It uses magics (ok, magnets) that make the toy thrust itself back and forth! Piph loves it, and I’d really like to finally review one this year.
7. MyStim Tickling Truman– The Tickling Truman is a vibrator that also has has e-stim, sort of like a neon wand for your vag! I need to know what the tingling sensations feel like!
8. Njoy Eleven– The Njoy Eleven strikes equal parts fear and excitement in my vag…a 2″ girth and 2.75 lbs of stainless steel?! Can I do it?! I think I can! I have faith in the power of my vag.
9. Crave Vesper– It’s a vibrator that’s also a necklace! Y’all know I would so wear it everywhere. I’ve also never tried a Crave toy and want to change that.
10. Vixen Creations Randy– I’m addicted to Vixen’s squishy, realistic dual density VixSkin silicone and want to collect all of their dildos. Randy is at the top of my list though because it’s the girthiest one they make…it’s a beast that I want to conquer!
11. Crystal Delights Pony Tail Plug– I want to be a pony! Look at those gorgeous pastels! Please goddess of dildos let it happen!
12. Gorge Ohwell Silencing Slider Cheeseburger Gag– The fact that this exists make me so fucking happy. A cheeseburger ball gag?! Made of 100% silicone? Please, put it in my mouth now! Update 12/8/16–Not into this anymore now that I’m vegan…time for someone to make a vegan version please with a veggie burger & a faux leather strap! 🙂
13. Tantus Cush– I’ve heard great things about the Cush from Epiphora & Aerie, and I’m always down for more Tantus, so I’d love to try the Cush. And I don’t usually like pink toys…but this one looks like cotton candy, and I want to eat it. And use it. And photograph it with cotton candy. Please and thank you.
15. BS Capsula Plug- I’m always down for more butt toys, and I’d love to try this unique pill shaped butt plug from the makers of the sock dildo!
What toys are y’all excited about trying in 2015? Did I miss any good ones? Please let me know in the comments!
This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)
LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.
Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!
Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.
Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.
NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!
Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!
Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?
Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.
Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.
Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!
Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!
LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.
LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.
Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.
Do you have a thing for creatures of the night? There’s just something about their strength, blood lust, and pointy teeth isn’t there? Or maybe you’re a vampire who wants to incorporate slayer-play into your sexual routine? Do you crave the warm touch of a human but you’re too embarrassed to admit it or afraid of rejection? Maybe you’re just lonely? Well you’re in luck!
Recently I saw someone on Twitter looking for a sex toy “stake” for some x-rated Buffy play, and if you know me, then you know I am a huge BTVS/Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood fan, and the topic of Buff/vampire fantasy play and toys has definitely crossed my mind before (pun intended.) I make sure to have my Hitachi out before I watch Smashed, and my favorite threesome fantasy features Angel and Spike (or Eric & Bill!), but I’d also do pretty much any combo of any of the characters on Buffy or Angel (Buffy+Spike, Willow+Tara, Xander+Anya, Cordy+Angel, Willow+Fred, Wesley+Gunn, Willow+Vamp Willow…I think you see where I’m going with this.)
So after some diligent patrolling of the Inter-webs for vampire themed sex toys, I’ve compiled this list for all of the vampire/slayer/Buffy/Sookie/Twilight/Anne Rice peeps out there. This also serves as an ongoing wishlist of mine…someday there will be some epic sex toy photos atop Buffy the board game. Without further ado, here it is:
Oh Tantus, as if I didn’t love you enough already, you actually created a dildo that caters to vampire obsessed fans like me. I’m pretty sure the Vamp was created with Twilighters in mind, but Spike is who I’ll picture when this glorious toy is in my vagina. If the Vamp’s shape isn’t exactly what you’re looking for but you still want a vamp cock, any of the realistic Tantus dildos (Adam, Mark, etc.) or Vixen dildos (Buck, Mustang, Maverick, etc.) can pass for vamp (or human.) Also, for all of the Dracula followers out there, Fleshlight makes a Drac dildo that will put you under his thrall.
If a life-like vamp mouth or vagina is what you seek, Fleshlight has you covered with their Succu Dry, Drac, & Count Cockula masturbators. With these realistic toys, you can have safe vampire sex without the threat of death or unwanted siring. And vamps who crave a warm touch, there are tons of human orifices of all kinds for your enjoyment!
If you’re going to fight vampires, you need a stake, and if you’re going to pull off some really hot X-rated Buffy scenes, you need a stake dildo. If you’re a vampire, these are perfect for acting out dangerous fantasies without the real threat of turning to dust. My top pick is the Intrigue because it looks a lot like Mr. Pointy, but the Delve could definitely pass for your typical straight stake also.
Equal parts funny, offensive, and creepy, the Jackhammer Jesus is definitely a toy Buffy would keep in her weapons chest if the show were XXX. While cross dildos are perfect for slayer fantasies, vamps beware–crosses are only ideal for true masochists and should be used with caution.
Another must have in any x-rated weapons chest: Holy water lube. Yep, it’s real peeps! And since it’s not actually blessed, vamps can use it for sexy, pain-free fantasies too! (I’d recommend doing a patch test though, just in case.)
Vamps and humans alike can enjoy fantasies of each others’ company by incorporating temperature play into their sex play. Glass & metal are the best materials, but silicone can work as well. Just dip the toy in a bowl full of warm or cold water, and you’re good to go. Warming and cooling lubes can also help you get that cold-as-ice vamp or warm human touch you desire.
If you want to play out rough vampire sex fantasies, replicate the thrill of being bitten, held captive, or almost staked etc., you’ll need some kinky toys. Vampire gloves are a natural choice, as are handcuffs and other restraints and impact toys. Remember, if you’re pretending to capture someone as dangerous as say, Angelus, you’ll need something heavy duty!
Though I haven’t watched any yet (Spuffy scenes are enough to send me off), there is quite a bit of vampire porn out there, such as the Buffy the Vampire Slayer XXX Porn Parody, Buffy the Vampire Layer, This Ain’t Dracula XXX, other Dracula titles, Twilight porn, Tru– An XXX Parody and other general vampire porn. Nothing could ever be hotter than James Marsters though. Nothing.
*Vampire friends & fans, if you have any other ideas, if I missed something, or you just want to share your fave fantasies, please comment!*
I’ve you’ve read my review, you already know that I’m in love with my NobEssence Romp. When it’s not in my butt, I just want to take pictures of its loveliness…all hail the Romp.
The Romp is my new favorite butt plug. It surpasses my other faves like the comfortable Bootie, the filling Ryder, and even my beautiful Crystal Delights plug. It’s truly as amazing as Epiphora made it sound in her review, which is what led me to trying it.
The Romp is my first wooden sex toy, and it’s made by NobEssence, a supplier of premium hand-sculpted organic wooden toys that’s been around since 2005. It comes in various wood types; mine is made of Yellow Heart, an exotic wood usually from Brazil. Like all NobEssenece toys, it’s hand finished and sealed with Lubrosity, a smooth, impermeable body-safe polymer coating. It’s 3.5 insertable inches long and 1.5” at its widest point.
I don’t really know how to describe the Romp’s shape, so I’ll just say that it’s perfect-for-butts. Its tip is easy to insert, and once I get past its widest point, my butt sucks it in, and it stays in place like that’s it’s job. It doesn’t require as much lube as silicone toys—a little bit of Sassy is perfect. I’ve tried it both ways but prefer wearing the Romp with the handle pointing up towards my back.
Once it’s in, the Romp is comfortable, but I’m definitely aware it’s there, and it’s fun to squeeze and clench around, and the handle is great for tugging on. Although I thought it might be weird to sit with, it doesn’t get in the way, even when I tried sitting on hard wood. Though it’s comfortable, I can definitely feel the handle between my cheeks when walking around, so I don’t think I’d wear it out in public.
The other way I use the Romp, during vaginal sex, is in a word, intense. Especially at first, the pressure and added stimulation from the Romp is like whoa, and I find myself wondering if it’s too much, but it’s not, and before long I’m used to it and it’s amazing. The Romp doesn’t poke Jake or get in the way during sex, and it doesn’t escape my butt even during mega-orgasms.
I tried the Romp vaginally before using it as a butt plug, but the handle is too short, and I can’t really move it around to stimulate my g-spot. I think with a longer handle the shape would be promising, so I’d love to get my hands on the Intrigue at some point. I’ve read about people who like using the Romp as a kegel excerciser, so that’s also a possibility.
The Romp shouldn’t be boiled, but it can be easily cleaned and sterilized with non-abrasive soap and water and or a wipe down with a 10% bleach or alcohol solution. The wood doesn’t seem to retain butt smells (unlike silicone toys), which is awesome.
The Romp is so awesome that I literally had a nightmare that it got ruined because someone took sandpaper to it or something, and I was inconsolable, no joke. It was horrible. I wouldn’t wish a ruined Romp on anyone.
So, should you get the Romp? Yes, you should, ASAP. It’s a pricey toy, but it’s worth it. It’s gorgeous, comfortable, and its shape is amazing. If my nightmare had come true, and some sick, heartless person maliciously ruined my Romp, I’d buy another one stat. I kind of want to get another one with a different type of wood, but that seems excessive (plus, now I want to try all the NobEssence toys.) The Romp could be too big for anal beginners or too small for someone accustomed to much larger toys, but I’m having trouble imagining anyone not liking it.
Thanks Burlesque ToyShop (now closed) for sending me the Holy Grail of butt plugs to review! See all of my photos and posts with the Romp here.