This image didn’t make the cut for my review photos, but I figured I should still share it, because who doesn’t love photos of sex toys & cats?! The Splash is an awesome silicone dildo from Tantus by the way–it was the runner up for the best dildo I tried in 2014! It’s on sale right now, get it for $51.13 with code PENNY at checkout!
This list includes the best and worst products that I reviewed during 2014! (They weren’t necessarily released in 2014.)
LELO Mona 2– Mona–the vibe that’s so good, I chose it over pizza. It has a wide range of moderately strong vibration, it’s easy to use and hold, it’s waterproof, rechargeable, and incredibly versatile. It’s definitely one of the best LELO products I’ve ever tried, along with the awesome Luna Beads.
Runner Up: Eroscillator Top Deluxe Ultimate Combo– If I were to judge by orgasm alone, the Eroscillator would win over Mona. But the Eroscillator doesn’t have as many other redeeming qualities as Mona–it’s not waterproof or travel-friendly, and it’s not made of silicone. It’s also $115.95 more expensive than the already not cheap Mona for the version I have. In a perfect world, everyone should have an Eroscillator, but not everyone can drop $200+ on a vibe that isn’t even waterproof or discreet. That’s why Mona wins–it has more features and a better overall value than the Eros. If you have the money though, you should get one–your clit will thank you!
Vixen Creations Buck– Where do I begin? Buck is a beautiful creature. It’s made of Vixen’s incredibly realistic, squishy silicone VixSkin, and that head… If I had to choose to keep only a few of my dildos, Buck would be in the top 3, below only the amazing, insta-squirt inducing Pure Wand & Comet Wand.
Runner Up: Tantus Splash– I actually didn’t care for the Splash’s unique intense sensations at first…but like Fernet, it was an aquired taste, and now I can’t get enough. Thanks to the Splash, I am now a member of the exclusive “texture slut” club.
Best Butt Toy
NobEssence Romp– I cannot truly express how amazing the Romp feels in my butt-I can only say that if you enjoy putting things in your butt, you need to experience it. And not only does it feel amazing, it’s fucking beautiful. Just look at it. All hail the Romp!
Runner Up: Fun Factory Bootie– I don’t use the Bootie often anymore because it’s a little on the small side for my tastes now, but it is the perfect beginner plug. It’s small and easy to insert but also stimulating and super comfortable to wear around, and it’s also affordable. Yay, Bootie!
Best BDSM Toy
Tantus Plunge– It’s an intense paddle, with a dildo-handle. It’s also 100% silicone & completely sterilizable, unlike most paddles. Need I say more?
Runner Up: Bettie Page Picture This Spanking Bat– I love all things Bettie Page, so I fell in love with this gorgeous paddle the moment I laid eyes on it. It doesn’t hurt much, so it’s great for beginner impact play or for those who don’t like a lot of pain…or for any die hard Bettie fan, of course.
The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue- Violet Blue’s Ultimate Guide to Fantasy is chock full of helpful information and ideas for adding excitement to your sex life. At 256 pages, it’s not exactly light reading, but Blue pulls you in with an accessible, easy to read tone and exciting topics that will keep you interested the whole way through.
Runner Up: 50 Shades of Kink by Tristan Toarmino- This book should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink. Taormino stresses the importance of consent, communication, and safety while she discusses the basics of BDSM and power play.
Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls– Simple and effective, the Tracey Cox Toner Balls are a solid set of kegel balls, and for only $26.99, they’re a steal!
Runner Up: Tantus Slow Drive– The Slow Drive is an amazing little g-spotter and my go-to recommendation for an affordable first time g-spot dildo. At full price it’s only $37.40 with code PENNY at checkout, & right now the limited edition purple haze version is only $25.50 with code PENNY. For a high quality 100% silicone dildo, that is ridiculously cheap!
LELO Ida– My version of Ida’s product description: Ida: the toy for those who like a challenge (can YOU finish without crying?)
Runner Up: Vibratex Princessa– The Princessa looks like a cross between a flower, a nipple, a bug, and an alien, which I love, but unfortunately it has some of the weakest, buzziest vibrations I’ve ever felt.
LELO Smart Bead– I was really excited to try out the Smart Bead, which is supposed to measure your “orgasm potential” (aka kegel strength) and then give you a customized 5 minute kegel routine–you squeeze when it vibrates and relax your muscles when it stops. Sadly, the Smart Bead doesn’t seem to measure kegel strength at all, and its vibration is so weak you can barely feel it in use. Oh, and it’s battery operated and has a seam on the part you insert, so lube and vag juice seeps into the bead. A gimmicky, impossible to clean, weak ass toy for $109? Hell no.
Runner Up: Shibari Halo Wand– I had high hopes for the Halo Wand since it was the first rechargable wand vibrator I’ve tried, and it features a silicone head, unlike many wands, but its vibration is buzzy, and it cannot get me off. Fail.
Most Entertaining Review
For me, the Splash was an acquired taste, kind of like Fernet.
If you haven’t tried it, Fernet is an Italian liquor that has an herby taste. Some people don’t like its distinctive flavor, but when I was in studying in Argentina in college, it was everyone’s drink of choice. Like, if you don’t like Fernet there, just go home. So I tried it again…and again…and before long I was in love with its weird flavor and sharing a huge vat of Fernet and Coke with about 10 friends while out at the boliches.
That’s how the Splash was for me. I’d heard other bloggers rave about it, so I was dying to try it. But the first time I did, I didn’t really like it. It felt strange and almost irritating, and I wondered what all of the hype was about. I’d heard that the type of people who like it are “texture sluts.” Obviously we all have our preferences, but I wanted to join the texture slut club. So I tried it again…and again…and now I love its exceptional texture.
The Splash is an intense dildo. Not because it’s super girthy or curvy, because it’s not ((it has a 1.75″ diameter)), but because it’s firm and has drips of silicone along its body that provide truly unique sensations. Just look at it. It looks part sci-fi, part artsy, which I love. Realistic toys are great, but sometimes you just want to masturbate with something that looks like a shimmery alien blob, am I right?
The Splash isn’t a dildo I use to thrust with wild abandon. I squeeze around it, and with a vibe on my clit, I use short, minimal thrusts, because that’s all I need to devour its texture. The little ripples on the top of its head feel amazing going in and rubbing on my g-spot, and when inserted deeper, the drips feel fabulous. As is standard for Tantus dildos, the Splash is harness compatible and anal safe, and since it’s 100% silicone, it’s hygienic, and it can be boiled and sterilized.
My vag isn’t always in the mood to be Splashed. But when I do get a sudden craving for its drippy texture, nothing else will satisfy. And I can now proudly say I am a texture slut, thanks to this gorgeous dildo. I <3 you, Tantus.
If you love textured toys, you need the Splash. If you’re not sure if you like texture or not and want to try something new, the Splash is amazing, and I bet you’ll like it. If you want to try out the same texture but aren’t sure about its size, you could try the smaller Splish. If you don’t like texture, the Splash probably isn’t for you, but Tantus has lots of other high quality, 100% silicone dildos to choose from!
Get Splash through the Grab Bag (they surprise you with a color!)
Don’t forget to use code PENNY at checkout for 15% off!
Thanks for sending me the Splash in exchange for my honest review, Tantus!